Amazon Way2

The Amazon Way

By Jim R. Bader

(Based on the Works of Rumiko Takahashi & Others)

Chapter Two.

Shampoo looked up from her vigil to see Ukyo entering through the door carrying supplies in grocery bags. She smiled as she acknowledged her partner in mischief then returned to her study of the Tendo dojo, listening with one ear that held a microphone receiving plug of the kind normally used in espionage cases.

"Any change?" Ukyo asked as she started to put things away in the kitchen.

"Not yet," Shampoo murmured softly, "But picking up bits of conversation...Shampoo think fathers still plan try to separate Shampoo from Airen."

"Not if we can help it, Sugar," Ukyo softly chuckled, "Good thing Ranma told me about this house across the street that was unoccupied when he first got to Nerima. The owners aren't supposed to be back for a month, and it makes a good crash pad."

"Aiyaa," Shampoo murmured softly, "Just so nobody come investigate us living here we keep tabs on younger self and see if Ranma remain true to his Shampoo."

"You heard him before, Kitty-cat," Ukyo smiled, "He's already head over heals in love with you, I can tell, believe me."

The slightly wistful tone in the Okonomiyaki chef's voice caused Shampoo to glance up at her unlikely partner to catch the unguarded look of sadness in her expression. Recalling why the two of them had chosen to pool their talents to this venture, she said, "You help Shampoo make life where she find happiness with Ranma, but you no ask make happy for yourself. When we go make timeline where you find happiness, Ukyo?"

Ukyo was surprised to hear the note of honest sympathy in her longtime rival's voice, so she smiled at her and said, "Soon enough, just after we make sure this timeline works out the way you want it. There's still a younger version of me running around somewhere looking for revenge on the boy and Panda who left her by the side of the road, and I'm working on an angle to help things there. Trust me, Sugar...I got all the surveillance equipment like I said I would, didn't I? So trust me to smooth things over so you can have the sort of happy ending you've always wanted."

"And then we do same for you," Shampoo said thoughtfully, "Only how work it so Shampoo have excuse to leave village but no be engaged to Ranma? Is very confusing."

"Tell me about it," Ukyo settled down beside her and passed the Amazon an apple, "It's all just a matter of time, though, and we've got time to spare, just so long as those two clowns, Soun and Genma, don't mess things up too bad..."

Ranma woke up with a groan, feeling a splitting headache coming on as she found herself laying upon a tamati mat in the middle of a strange room with barren walls and with several people looking down with concern in their expressions.

"You okay, Ailen?" Shampoo asked, the first to speak, as was natural and proper.

"That depends," Ranma winced as she felt her skull with gentle fingers, "What hit me...?"

"The tea table," Kasumi said matter-of-factly, "Akane used it on you after you made that comment about her body."

"Yeah," Nabiki sniffed, "It wasn't the most tactful thing to say, Saotome, telling her you have the better body."

"Well, it's true," Ranma said, then groaned again, "Uncute Tomboy..."

"Please understand," Kasumi said delicately, "Akane is really a very sweet girl...she just has these incredibly violent impulses."

"Oh right, Kasumi," Nabiki said sarcastically, "Like that just explains everything."

"You sister such a violent girl," Shampoo said with clear disapproval, "She no touch Ranma like that again or Shampoo show her meaning of violence."

"I wouldn't be too hard on her, Shampoo-chan," Ranma said as she sat up slowly, feeling the room swim, "It's not her fault if she's such a macho chick who can't take a little criticism."

"Just the same," Nabiki said, "It might help if you stay out of her way and don't give her any more reasons to clobber you. You may be a great martial artist but when Akane gets a mad on it's all Kasumi and I can do to try and calm her."

"By the way," Kasumi smiled as she changed the subject, "This is to be your new room, Ranma. You and Shampoo can sleep here together while we make separate accommodations for Mister Saotome."

"Thanks, but don't bother to put yourself out on our account," Ranma replied, "We're only staying until we can find some clues that will lead us to that Kiifuiton thingie so I can restore my manhood."

"That's if you can find it," Nabiki cautioned, "Shampoo here seems to think the thing's been lost for a couple of centuries. A thing like that tends to stay hidden a long time. We need some leads, something to go on that can give us a clue to where it's at, and that means doing lots of research and some heavy legwork."

Ranma turned a questioning look her way and said, "You're offering to help?"

Nabiki smiled, "Not for free, of course. My time is valuable, and you'll have to find a way to make it up to me, but I think we could work something out. After all, information is my livelihood, and since Daddy doesn't run the Dojo like he used to, and the family doesn't have a stable source of income..."

"I see," Ranma nodded, then smiled, "So you need money, huh? I can't help you there myself, but Shampoo's great grandmother might be able to help you. As tribal Matriarch she controls the assets of her entire village..."

"Oh, I'm sure she's got a hidden stash somewhere," Nabiki rolled her eyes, imaging a dirt-poor Chinese settlement that could barely sustain itself between one harvest and the next, "But I was thinking something more along the line of a few favors...nothing illegal, of course, and you could call them markers..."

"Fine," Ranma pivoted about and rocked on the balls of his feet as he regarded the shorthaired mercenary with an amiable smile, "Whatever it takes just so long as I get to be a guy again. I'll even help out in any way I can, and Shampoo here's got a lot of talents besides cooking and fighting. I'm sure she wouldn't mind helping."

"Shampoo always glad to help, Ailen," Shampoo smiled brightly, turning to Kasumi, "You just say whatever you need, Shampoo do what she can to be helpful."

"How nice of you," Kasumi said brightly, "But you don't have to trouble yourself. You're our guests and it wouldn't be proper to make you work to earn your keep."

"Oh, let them help out anyway they like, Oneechan," Nabiki smiled, "Which brings up the next question, Ranma. Aside from martial arts, whatever are you good at?"

"Not a whole lot," Ranma admitted, "The art's about the only thing I've trained for. I can cook and sew a little, but Shampoo's loads better than me at that, and before you ask if I can do any of that girl stuff, forget it! I'm a guy and it's guy stuff I'm good at."

"I see," Nabiki mused, "Well, at least you admit it, which is one you've got over Akane."

"Nabiki," Kasumi chided, "That wasn't very nice."

"Hey, I'm just being honest," Nabiki gave her sister a cute smile, "We both know Akane's totally helpless at anything domestic, you just won't face up to that fact like me, Sis."

"Huh, that figures," Ranma sniffed, "A Macho uncute chick like her's probably a whole lot less feminine even than me."

"What did you call me?" stormed a voice from the hallway.

"Uh oh," said Ranma, her expression suddenly very worried...

"We must do something, Saotome," Soun said to his friend as the played a game of Shogi, "For the sake of our pledge to unite our families..."

"I know, Tendo-kun," Genma replied, "And I'm still working on how to deal with this situation. Shampoo is a lovely girl, and clearly she's devoted to my son, but unless you are willing to adopt her as a Tendo..."

"I take it you meant that to be a jest, Saotome?" Soun glared at his friend in an unamused manner.

"All right then," Genma sighed, "Then if we suppose that we do find a way to separate them, who then should Ranma marry?"

"Obviously it will be after he regains his manhood," Soun replied, "In which case it should either be Kasumi or Nabiki. Somehow I don't think a relationship with Akane would be too likely..."

As if on cue they heard a scream of, "YOU PERVERT!" followed by the subsequent smashing of several items of furniture with a bit of minor structural damage on the side. The mayhem was punctuated by the forcible ejection of a certain redhead out the second story window.

"I see what you mean," Genma confessed as they watched Ranma arc unerringly into the koi pond, "Of course they would make a very cute couple..."

"Please, Saotome," Soun sighed, "Let us stay focused on the practicality of engaging your son to one of my daughters who is not likely to kill him. So...which will it be, Kasumi or Nabiki?"

"Well, obviously I don't know them as well as you do, Tendo," Genma replied, "But from what I've seen Kasumi is a very nice girl who would make an excellent wife, while Nabiki has a great deal of charm, wit and intelligence about her, and my boy does need someone with a good head on their shoulders to keep him in line."

"Exactly how I see things, Saotome," Soun nodded, not realizing at first that a piece was missing from the board, "Kasumi is dear to me and has kept the house in order since the loss of her dear mother, while as far as I know Nabiki doesn't have a boyfriend, so either one of them is a logical choice since your son will inherit the dojo."

"And then the two of us can look forward to a long and happy retirement, eh, Tendo-kun?" smiled.

"Indeed," Soun replied, "Secure in the knowledge that the Anything Goes school will live on through our children. To that end let us dedicate ourselves to finding a way around this Shampoo problem."

"And once we find the Kiifuiton my boy will marry your daughter and live happily ever after," Genma said with a thoughtful expression, "Maybe we should wait for that to happen before we act. After all, Shampoo may be the key to finding the magic pot that can cure Ranma's affliction."

"It may be too late by then," Soun's expression hardened, "The more time the boy spends with that Amazon the harder it may be to separate them later. And let's not forget that once he's regained his manhood he may very well consummate their marriage."

"Yes, I suppose I could hardly blame him for that," Genma nodded, "The girl has charm and beauty, and she seems very willing."

"So you can see my point here," Soun made his move then waited to see how long it would be before his friend noticed an extra piece was missing, "We cannot delay bringing an end to this Amazon marriage."

"Agreed," Genma replied, then he blinked his eyes to be certain that he saw correctly. With a sudden gesture he cried, "What's that over there?"

"Eh?" Soun asked, turning to look as Genma switched pieces...unaware that someone other than his friend was watching them through the business end of a telescopic lens.

"Can you believe those two?" Ukyo said in clear disgust, "All they ever do is sit around and cheat each other."

"Shampoo think that their idea of happiness," Shampoo said as she adjusted her balance to give Ukyo a better purchase on her shoulders, "What younger self doing at moment?"

"Coming out to check to see if Ranma-honey is all right," Ukyo folded up her spyglass then sighed, "Which is more than those two lazy lunks would do. Honestly, you'd think they could for once put somebody else's welfare ahead of themselves for a whole minute."

"Shampoo think world come to end if they do that," Shampoo grunted, then sighed as Ukyo vaulted down off her shoulders and started to lead the way back to the house that was their temporary base of operations.

"We can't let them get away with screwing up our plans," Ukyo growled, "We've got to find a way to jinx whatever plans they make and see to it that Ranchan finds the Kiifuiton and gets himself back to normal."

"Then Shampoo and Ranma be together forever," Shampoo gained a dreamy expression, "We have lots of babies and we be so happy..."

"One thing at a time, Sugar," Ukyo smiled, "The problem is we can't be too obvious about what we do here. We're not technically a part of this timeline, so just going in there and whacking those two on the head won't solve our problems. We've got to be subtle about this, which means we work through third parties."

"You mean like Sneaky mercenary girl who always take advantage of Airen?" Shampoo asked.

"Nope," Ukyo replied, "Nabiki's many things, but she's not a fool. We bring her in on this and we'll both wind up paying through the nose, especially the way she'd try to milk us for insider information about the Tokyo stock exchange and stuff like that."

"Then who we use?" Shampoo asked, "Nice Kasumi no good at being sneaky..."

"No," Ukyo smiled, "Not Kasumi, I've got somebody better in mind. It's perfect."

"What you say?" Shampoo asked her.

"Never mind, Sugar," Ukyo chuckled, "Just leave it all to me and you'll see what I have in mind here. I guarantee this one will knock your socks off..."

"School?" Ranma reacted, "You have got to be kidding me!"

"You heard me, Boy," Genma said adamantly, "You're going to attend classes with Akane and Nabiki, and that should give you more time to decide which one will be your fianc e."

Ranma glowered, then aimed a well-placed kick that landed her father into the Koi pond.

"I ain't telling you this again, Old Man!" Ranma growled at the panda who emerged in the place of the Saotome elder, "I ain't abandoning Shampoo, and you ain't telling me who I'm gonna marry!"

"Aiyaa," Shampoo herself remarked as she appeared from the kitchen, where she had been helping Kasumi with the dishes, "Is Pop still on this, Airen? Shampoo think maybe him better off at Zoo, dating other panda."

"The idea is tempting, believe me," Ranma growled acidly under her breath.

"Aren't you two ready for school yet?" asked Nabiki as she emerged out onto the porch, complete with her book bag.

"I ain't going to no school," Ranma folded her arms over her ample chest, "We only stayed the night with you guys because the Old Man tricked us, but now we have to resume our search for that stupid bucket that'll unlock my curse and help me become a guy again."

"Whatever," Akane said as she passed them by, "C'mon, Nabiki, we'll be late for class."

"Late for your legion of doting admirers, you mean," Nabiki responded with a sly expression, ignoring the pained look that crossed her sister's features.

"Oh please," Akane rolled her eyes, "Like I want those idiots to fight with me every morning?"

"Fight?" Ranma asked with an arched eyebrow, showing the least flickering of interest.

"It's just a morning ritual that Akane goes through," Nabiki replied with a wink of her eye, "Pay it no mind."

"Yeah, like that will work," Akane grumbled as she headed out into the yard towards the gates.

Soun emerged from the house, taking a more cautious approach than the one adopted by Genma, "Maybe you should go and take a look for yourself, Son. My little girl is very skilled, but at times I worry for her, not having a boyfriend to look after her, and so many young suitors crying for her attention."

"You think maybe she doesn't like guys?" Ranma asked Shampoo, who shrugged prettily.

"Is always possible," Shampoo replied neutrally, only to react in shock as the Tendo elder suddenly displayed both a temper and a backbone.

"DON'T EVEN SUGGEST SUCH A THING ABOUT MY LITTLE GIRL!" he declared, his face seeming to project a massive Demon-Head that was the epitome of all outraged fathers. It took him less than a few seconds to regain his calm and composure as he handed a bookbag to Ranma, "I mean, you misunderstand her...my Akane is a very sweet young girl and needs to have someone who will look after her. I ask, as her father, that you at least accompany her to her school this one time and determine for yourself if she needs your protection."

"Well..." Ranma glanced at the bookbag in his hands, then at Shampoo and shrugged, "Maybe it wouldn't hurt to take a look."

"Then here you are, Ranma," announced Kasumi as she entered the room, holding a pair of Bento boxes, which she handed to both Shampoo and Ranma, "I've already made your lunches, so have fun."

Ranma blinked then exchanged looks with Shampoo, who smiled in return and said, "Shampoo go with Airen, see what Japanese school is like. Maybe is no so different from Amazon village if students good fighters."

"Could be," Ranma said, then sighed, "We'd better get going if we're gonna catch up with those two. They know the way to their school and we sure don't..."

As the two young girls took their leave of the back porch, Genma sidled up alongside his friend and the two of them watched with mutual expressions of deep concern that were oddly similar in spite of the difference in their current species.

"Those two are very close to one another, aren't they?" Soun asked with particular emphasis, to which the Saotome elder could only nod and hold up a sign reading, "We have to do something about that..."

"Those two idiots are still at it," Ukyo sighed in exasperation.

"Aiyaa," Shampoo agreed, "If anyone but those two, Shampoo actually be worried."

"C'mon, let's follow the gang on their way to Furinkan," Ukyo remarked as she dropped from the high tree branch where she had been perching, while Shampoo followed suite with great ease.

"You think fathers try something on way?" Shampoo asked as they began racing along the rooftops, keeping their distance from Ranma and the others.

"Not immediately," Ukyo replied, "Anything they do would need planning, something the two of them are notoriously short on providing. I just want to see what happens when your younger self and Ranma reach the High School. I've heard stories about this first meeting, and you know what happens when they get there?"

"Aiyaa!" Shampoo exclaimed, "Stupid stick boy, Kuno?"

"You got it, Sugar," Ukyo agreed as the two of them increased their paces...

"You there!" the tall boy pointed his bokken towards Ranma and Shampoo, "What visions of loveliness are manifested before these humbled eyes?"

"Who, us?" Ranma asked as she turned a glance back at Akane, "Friend of yours?"

"Butt out of this," Akane said tensely, adopting a fighting posture as she faced against the newly arrived Kendo artist, "Kuno's my business..."

"Sure, no problem for me," Ranma responded with indifference, turning to regard the handsome boy, instinctively disliking the arrogance that he saw in his expression, "Just seems like you've got a lot of admirers for a Tomboy."

"Aiyaa," Shampoo agreed, surveying the litter of bodies that decorated the school grounds, "Is almost like being back in China, except boys no follow proper rules for challenging womans fighter."

"I asked a question," the boy said with a faint hint of annoyance, "Can it be that you are struck speechless by my very presence? No matter, proper courtesy demands that I be the one who first gives introduction. My name strikes fear into the hearts of my enemies, my very being unmans the stoutest warriors in all Japan. They call me the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High School!"

He raised his wooden sword for emphasis, and thunder rolled off the hills as a bolt of lighting was seen in the background.

"Kuno Tatewaki," the boy resumed in the rumble that followed this meteorological display, "Age seventeen."

"Whoah," Ranma commented, "Nice effect."

"Aiyaa," Shampoo agreed in mutual disbelief, "Is boy really best in Japan?"

"He thinks he is," Akane replied, "But he's just a blowhard."

"Did he just call himself Blue Thunder?" one of Nabiki's friends asked from where they stood perched on the third story railing.

"I thought he was calling himself Shooting Star," responded another of Nabiki's confederates.

"Whatever," Nabiki responded with indifference, leaning over the rail with an intense curiosity in her expression, wanting to see what would happen next when the duo of Shampoo and Ranma actually got to know the real Kuno.

Though she preferred to give little evidence of it, in fact she was more than a little intrigued with the possibilities opened up by the arrival of these two in Nerima, not least for which was their obvious superiority to Akane in the martial arts, and the inevitable effect a pair of beauties such as them would have on the male population of their campus. Just seeing the two of them walk along the fence on the way to class was enough to suggest all sorts of interesting things to her fertile imagination...

"Whatever," Ranma shrugged in response to Kuno's challenge, uncannily mimicking the older Tendo girl, "If your beef's with Akane, then don't let me and Shampoo stop you."

"I told you I could handle it," Akane said as she resumed her fighting crouch, "Kuno, if you want to challenge me then I'm ready to meet you."

"Nay, be not in haste, Tendo Akane," the tall boy replied, "Allow me but a moment to bask in the warming glow of your beauteous companions. Such a sight to behold...three such visions of loveliness that mortal eyes have but rarely witnessed."

"Hey, leave us out of this, guy," Ranma frowned, not liking the way that the overly melodramatic guy was looking at her...and ESPECIALLY the way he included Shampoo in his sweeping gaze of interest.

"My, but I sense a feisty spirit in the pig-tailed one," the tall boy said with approval, "You say that your companion is named Shampoo...but what name are you given?"

"Ranma," the redheaded girl replied, "Saotome Ranma."

"Saotome Ranma," Tatewaki pronounced with great delight, "A name as elegant and refined as any noble house of Samurai. A wild Mare of the Rice Plucking Women, indeed...how curiously well-suiting of such a fiery apparition. Mayhaps once I have won the hand of the beauteous Akane, mayhap you would care to do me the honor of dating me..."

"Huh?" Ranma, Shampoo and Akane reacted in chorus, the Amazon wondering if her shaky grasp of Japanese were more faulty than even she had reckoned.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Akane blurted out, "Even for you that's twisted, Kuno!"

"Shampoo agree," Shampoo sniffed, "Boy talk big, but Shampoo no think him good enough for Amazon date, and no good enough to defeat Ailen."

"Oh, I would not think to neglect such a rare and exotic flower of womanhood as yourself, gentle maiden," Kuno informed them, "Only the basest of cads would leave an obviously foreign born guest of your quality without a manly escort. I would be negligent in my duties as the heir to a noble house to permit you to walk around without my manly protection."

This time Shampoo was convinced that she did understand every word that the buffoon was uttering to her, even in spite of the barrier of language that left some words beyond translation. It was a speech that could have been delivered by someone else of notoriety with her, leaving her to wonder if that boy and this one might somehow be closely related.

But before she could give vent to her annoyance at the boy for his impertinence, Ranma took a step forward, and she could literally feel the anger radiating from her Airen as Ranma assumed a stance of challenge and said, "Don't even think it, Buster. You leave me and Shampoo out of your sick fantasies or you're gonna get hurt!"

"Ranma?" Akane asked, wondering what her new friend was going to do in response to Kuno and his perversities, "I told you to butt out! He's my problem, don't get involved here."

"Not a chance," Ranma said, "This guy's history! Nobody talks that way about me, and especially not Shampoo! Kuno...prepare to get pounded!"

"Very well," Kuno raised his bokken, "I accept your challenge. If you defeat me you may date with me...however, you should know that I am prepared to lose."

The would-be Samurai took a step forward and made a mighty downward slash, which same utterly missed his opponent. Kuno blinked his eyes and suddenly found the redheaded girl perched on the end of his bokken, taking a step forward as she cried, "Who's want to date with you anyway?!"

The next thing Kuno knew was that his vision was obscured by her foot, and then all he saw after that were stars, pinwheels and planets...

"Well, that was Anti-climatic," Ukyo remarked from where she and Shampoo were perched atop of the school building, "I always knew that Kuno guy was a creep, but looks like he's consistent no matter what other changes we make in the timeline. Good luck he's no real threat to our plans, eh?"

Shampoo nodded her head in agreement, a happy thought occurring to her as she smiled and added, "See how Ranma defend Shampoo honor? Is very angry he see pervert wood-stick boy put moves on Shampoo."

"Looks like he's got it bad for you all right," Ukyo agreed, "Too bad he's the wrong sex at the moment to do anything about it..."

"That what you say, Spatula girl," Shampoo smirked, "Shampoo no think that very big problem, if Ranma is willing."

"Huh?" Ukyo blinked, then unexpectedly blushed at the suggestive smile the Amazon was wearing, and decided she did not want a full elaboration to that comment, "Eh...whatever..."

"Is good that Shampoo is getting along with Ranma," Shampoo turned to her companion with a more serious expression, "But what of Ukyo? You no get anything out of seeing Shampoo make nice-nice with Ranma?"

"Ah, not to worry on that count, Sugar," Ukyo smiled lopsidedly, "In fact I was just going to go see someone on that score who can take care of that particular angle. Think you can hold the fort here for a while and see to it those two Oafish fools don't try to screw things up in the meantime?"

"Ah-huh," Shampoo readily acknowledged, "But who you go see to help out?"

"My younger self, of course," Ukyo replied as she turned away with a smirk, "Who else did you think, Sugar?"

Ukyo could almost hear Shampoo's blink, and then she did hear the anticipated response, "But...won't Spatula Girl...I mean, Ukyo of this time recognize self from future?"

Ukyo was impressed, Shampoo had actually use a personal pronoun on herself. She was finally learning. In response she held up a small envelope-sized package in one hand and said, "Not to worry, I 'borrowed' a few of these from your Great Grandmother. She seemed to think they might come in handy."

Shampoo recognized the label on that distinctive package, "Instant Nanniichuan? Spatula girl...want be boy for real?"

"Hey, it's only temporary," Ukyo replied with some embarrassment at the suggestion, "I doubt anybody will recognize me if I really am a boy instead of just pretending to look like one...and it's only until I convince my other self not to be a problem for later."

As Ukyo started to turn away she felt the Amazon's eyes following her, but thankfully was too far away to hear Shampoo's soft murmur, "Oh so? Shampoo wonder..."

Meanwhile down below a triumphant Ranma turned her gaze up towards the roof of the building, wondering why her instincts had drawn her attention there since there was no one in evidence. She shrugged her shoulders and decided to dismiss the thought for now, and besides...it was only a feeling. Now that he and Shampoo had seen the Tendo girls off to class she had more pressing matters to concern herself with, such as finding that magical Bucket that could restore her to boy status...

The bell on the door to the Kuonji Okonomiyaki shop chimed as it was slid to one side, prompting the youth behind the counter to turn around with a casual glance, expecting to see a lone customer during one of the off-hours of the day, when business was slow and her Aunt's Restaurant was more than a little boring. She actually was welcoming the idea of serving up a customer while her Aunt was away taking care of other business. It would be her chance to demonstrate once and for all that she could run her own restaurant, as her father had promised she could do when she turned sixteen and moved to the outskirts of the Tokyo region.

Much to her surprise, though, there was no one standing in the doorway, but as she was just starting to react to this a figure appeared by the counter with such suddenness that he might as well have been invisible to her eyes until that very instant.

"Ah," Ukyo took the fellow in at a glance...very tall and incredible handsome looking in a brown leather vest wearing mirrored sunshades that blocked her attempt at eye contact. His hair was the same color as her own, and pulled back in much the same style to form a pony tail down his broad-shouldered back, but other than this he was a complete stranger to her vision. In an attempt to cover for her brief surprise at his sudden appearance, she asked in as level a voice as she could manage, "Uh...can I help you, Mister...?"

The man inclined his head forward in the barest of polite nods before replying in a softly roughened voice, "You are Kuonji Ukyo, are you not?"

"Yeah?" she was instantly on her guard, measuring the amount of time it would take for her to unsling the battle spatula that her Aunt had given her, which was hidden behind the counter, "What of it?"

"The name's Kuonji Toshiro," the young man replied in that same roughened voice, "I was told that I could find you here in your Aunt's place."

Ukyo's eyes narrowed slightly, "Are you from the clan? Who sent you?"

"Unimportant," the older fellow responded, "Other than that we do share the same clan, and I once knew your grandfather. A good man, his loss is missed by House Kuonji."

Ukyo barely relaxed by a fraction as she continued to study what she could make out of that handsome face before her, then with a note of hesitation she asked, "Have we...met someplace? You look kinda familiar..."

The other quirked a slight smile at that and said, "In a way you could say that we've passed each other in the night. I came to deliver something that you might find of interest," and with that the tall man put his hand on the counter and pulled it away, leaving a folded piece of paper, which practically vanished as Ukyo snatched it up without hardly seeming to move from her side of the counter.

Ukyo promptly glanced around before unfolding the slip of paper, which same caused her eyes to bug out as she read the name and address enclosed there, then scanned the palm-sized photos that came with it. Her fist balled up and she crushed the note in one hand while staring at the photos with whitened knuckles, looking up again to study the handsome man's face with the worlds growled out, "You found them?"

The other Kuonji nodded, "The two you seek are in the Nerima ward, where I believe you are about to open a restaurant in a few more months as per an agreement you have with your father. However, clandestine research has turned up some extenuating information that might be of interest to you if you still plan to avenge yourself for past transgressions."

"Okay Sugar," Ukyo growled, "I'll bite. What do I owe you for the info?"

"Not a thing," the man said as he regarded her over the rim of his glasses, "Except your promise to hear me out and not go rushing off seeking vengeance. There's a lot more going on here than you realize at the present."

"What's there to realize?" Ukyo shook her fists and glared with all the fierceness of a raging she-wolf, "The old man and his punk kid dumped me on the side of the road and took off with my Dad's okonomiyaki cart..."

"Which was your dowry as per a marriage agreement with one Saotome Ranma," the man continued for her, "I know the whole story, Sugar...are you gonna listen?"

Ukyo did not relax by the slightest fraction but glared at the man with the barest acknowledgement of his statement, "Talk, Sugar...it's your five yen piece."

The tall man lowered his eye shades and smiled at her, "You remind me of somebody else I know, but the important thing to know is that we are Kinsmen and, as such, there is no reason for me to deceive you. At the behest of your late grandfather, I made some inquiries into the activities of the Saotome men, both father and son, and I must say it makes for quite a long telling...the short version of it is that Saotome Genma is indeed every bit the rogue that you believe him to be, having bartered and broken more agreements than you could shake a sauce pan at. The man lives to cause others suffering, and he never thinks about the consequences of his actions, which means you are far from his only victim."

Ukyo blew a laugh, "You're not telling me anything I don't already know. I've actually met some of the people he's walked all over, and that Ranma...!"

"Is oblivious to at least half of his father's crimes," her elder continued for her, "The boy is...very unusual for several reasons, not least of which is that he's managed to somehow maintain a shred of decency in spite of his upbringing. His father has moved the both of them around a lot so as to prevent Ranma from forming attachments or roots anywhere, and as a consequence the boy has very few friends, if any. His life revolves around martial arts, and he is very good...superior, in fact, to Kuonji teaching."

"How can you know that?" Ukyo frowned suspiciously, "Have you fought him?"

"Let's just say I know he's good and leave it at that," the tall man smiled lopsidedly, "You could never defeat him at your current level of training. His speed is unbelievable, and his reflexes would put shame to a cat. However...there is the fact that his life is solely rooted in the Martial Arts. In order to be the best of the best he has learned little else beyond what is necessary for survival. Indeed, a good part of his training is trying to escape the messes he gets into thanks to his idiot father."

There was just the slightest fraction of hesitation in Ukyo's voice before she asked, "How...what is he like these days? If you've met him...?"

"Ranma?" the tall man became unusually wistful, "Well, he's got an Ego the size of Tokyo, and his confidence in his own abilities is literally boundless, but other than that he's a pretty lonely guy, almost an outsider to the normal rules of society. He never backs down from a challenge, he never gives an inch in a fight, and he never surrenders. It's all or nothing with him, and he'll do just about whatever it takes to win, except actual cheating, because cheating would be like admitting he was a coward."

"That's not what I've heard about the guy," Ukyo expression grew hard again, "One guy I ran into claimed he'd backed out on a fight..."

"You mean Hibiki Ryoga?" the young man replied, "I wouldn't go too much on what he's told you, Sugar. The boy's as clueless as he is lacking in a sense of directions. It was his fault for being late to that fight...Ranma waited three days to meet him, only Ryoga showed up on the fourth day and accused Ranma of running away."

"FOUR DAYS?" Ukyo's surprise was so great that she lost part of the edge to her anger, "That is clueless! I guess maybe he's wrong about Ranma on the other things..."

"You mean the bread fight?" the taller man replied, "Naw, that actually happened. Rancha-ah...Saotome has a bottomless pit for a stomach, mainly because he has to fight for every morsel he can get away from his father. Which brings me back to Saotome Genma, the real cause for your problems and Ranma's."

"Him," Ukyo scowled the more deeply, imagining her hands on her baker's peal with the elder Saotome male within striking distance.

"He's the real cause for dumping you on the side of the road, Sugar," the tall man informed her, "Ranma never even knew about the marriage agreement between your fathers...he doesn't even know that you're female. He thinks of you as just some boy he used to play with."

"A BOY?" Ukyo reacted, but then a moment of reflection caused her to backtrack, "Uh...well, I guess I did kind of dress and act like a boy back then...but I can't believe Ranchan could be so dense!"

"Why?" the taller man replied, "The boy doesn't even know that much about women. He's only recently picked up a girlfriend...well, technically anyway...but by the rules of her society they're actually married."

"MARRIED?" Ukyo gripped the counter on the non-grill side and the wood there actually splintered.

"You gonna hear me out?" the older man inquired, "It's quite a long story, and if you're still interested in revenge, I may have a more creative suggestion than having you bash in young Saotome's head, though I wouldn't fault you for doing it to his father."

"I'm listening," Ukyo growled, "Let's have all of the details."

The older Ukyo smiled, satisfied that "his" disguise was indeed foolproof, as his younger counterpart could hardly be expected to penetrate the effective mask of masculinity in which he was presently surrounded. The mere fact that there was a Kuonji Toshiro-a very distant relation on her father and Aunt's side of the family-only made his disguise all the more foolproof, and now that he had aroused the passions in his younger counterpart it would be relatively easy to manipulate her into doing what the older Ukyo wanted. A few words of encouragement and she would be rushing off to join the fun happening in Nerima, and if-as Ukyo suspected-her Aunt Yumi decided to tag along and met up with Tendo Soun...the results should be an effective checkmate to any plans that the two fathers might hatch up between them.

In a way she regretted using her younger self this way, but she consoled herself with the knowledge that it was all for the best, and she had promised Shampoo that she would not interfere with her marriage to Ranma on this timeline. Her turn would come the next time around, when Shampoo would be assisting her in arranging it so that Ukyo could have her Ranchan. This timeline's Ukyo would be liberated from her years of shame and humiliation and visit her vengeance upon Genma but would repair her tattered friendship with her childhood sparring partner. Becoming friend to Ranma and Shampoo would be a good way of insuring that this Ukyo did not go on to be alone and friendless.

Of course convincing her younger self about things like Cursed Springs and magical buckets would take some doing, but her memories of times spent in the Jubaan area would make it all the more easy. After all, how much more improbable than Sex-Changing splashes of water were random encounters with Youma?

She briefly wondered what her old friend Makoto was doing at the moment, then dismissed the thought as a needless distraction. This was another Ukyo's timeline, and the older Ukyo was determined to see that her chance for a new life without bitterness was insured in at least one lifetime.

The next turn around, however, would be hers to claim, and Ukyo was resolved to see it happen. If Shampoo could be insured a life of happiness with Ranma, then so could she, and no one-not fathers or rival fianc es-were going to stand in the way of achieving that future!

She only hoped Shampoo would carry through on her half of the agreement, but for some strange reason she was finding it harder these days to suspect her companion in mischief of harboring such unfriendly motives. There was something different about Shampoo that Ukyo had been noticing recently, and she had yet to decide for a fact if it was a change for good or ill, though privately she found she was starting to grow mighty fond of the Purple haired wonder...and she had no idea at all what that might portend for their own mutual future.

If only this male body she was presently wearing did not react so uncomfortably when her mind turned in Shampoo's direction. Thank the Kami it was only temporary, though, the effects of Instant Nanniichuan water, though it did cause her to wonder exactly why Cologne had insisted on giving Ukyo more than just one package...

She dismissed the idea. Surely the curse could not affect her the extent that she would actually change inside as well as out? Ranma had always been a guy in spite of his curse...though there were times when he acted in such a way that it prompted Ukyo to wonder, which made her very eager to conclude her business and get home in time for a dash of restorative hot water. Imagine being trapped as a guy forever? That would sure cause changes in her outlook!

Thus resolved to continue with her plans, she carefully worded her outlining of Ranma's past history to her younger self, emphasizing words that she hoped would steer the other Ukyo in the right direction, thus insuring that everything would turn out for the better. Any other thoughts beyond this were better left shelved for the future to resolve. She had given her word to help Shampoo out this time around, and as a Kuonji, she was bound and determined to fulfill the terms of her giri...

Regardless of any personal consequences...

Continued.

Comments/Criticism/Welcome to the New Millennium: shadowmane

Has it been another thousand years already? Well, sorry about the long delay, but I finally have this chapter where it's ready for submission. Next time around we see what plans the two Kuonji's hatch together, while Ukyo and Shampoo continue to observe the timeline that they have made unfold, but will it spell ultimate happiness for Shampoo and Ranma? That's for the future to determine...so please kindly be there for the resolution of this half of the saga!

Jim R. Bader

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