Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of JK Rowling.


Just Catting Around

The first time she set sight on him she was lost. He was a proud half-breed with green eyes and glorious long orange and white hair. He was the size of a Pekingese with longer legs. When he walked the halls of the castle, he knew he was king. He lived with the nosy girl with bushy brown hair in the Gryffindor Tower, but he slept where he wanted to. When he went to the Deputy Headmistress' Office she was jealous. Couldn't he see she was a wonderful tabby cat, too?

Then there was the time when he went off chasing that stupid rat. That rat had been a boy when he was at Hogwarts, but then he became a rat. (Cats know these things.) She was wanted the big orange tom cat to bring her the rat for a gift. What a feast that would be!

She was jealous when the big orange tom cat would go and play with the black dog. The black dog had been a boy, too. He had been a handsome boy with smoky gray eyes and wonderful long black hair. The girls all liked him. He was more like a tom cat.

Then one day when she had snuck outside and away from Mr. Filch's Office, he had come up to her and asked where she was going. "I don't know," she mewed. "I have to stay inside and help Mr. Filch spy on the children."

"I am going to Hagrid's to see Fluffy," he answered.

"I don't think I've ever met Fluffy."

"He's a big, black dog. Only thing is that he is a coward."

"Why do you go visit him?"

"Because Hagrid gives him fresh meat and he shares it with me. Do you want to meet Fluffy?"

"Why not?" she replied. "Why do they call you Crookshanks?"

"Because it is my name," he answered. "Do you have any other name except Mrs. Norris?"

"No, but Filch calls me his lovey, pussy sometimes."

"Can I just call you Lovey?" he offered.

She purred, "Only if I may call you Crooks."

The friendship between the half-kneasle and the ancient tabby was one that most of the residents of the castle were unaware of.


One day Mr. Filch carried Mrs. Norris out to see Hagrid. "I don't know what is wrong with her. My beauty. She is always eating and she is putting on weight, but she doesn't seem to have any energy."

"Has she been outside your rooms?" the Care of Magical Beasts Professor asked.

"Only around the castle," Argus answered, "but not so much lately. I bet those wretched children have cursed her."

"No, I don't think that is her problem." Hagrid went on with his examination. "Does she have a gentleman caller?"

"Only that wretched orange menace that belongs to the Granger girl."

"Well, at her age, it is usually unheard of, but I think you cat is with kitten."

"NO! How could that TOM have had his way with my precious baby!"

"Well, you see," Hagrid started, "when a girl cat goes into heat …."

"I know how they conceive. It is just that I don't understand why she would allow that satan's spawn touch one hair on her head."

"I don't think the hair on her head was where he was touching, Argus. I mean they have to go for the other end."

Filch picked up his banjo-shaped familiar and strode as quickly out of Hagrid's hut as he could shuffle. (You know like a chuffing, hurrying pace where you don't pick up your feet.) He went to see the Headmaster as quick as he could.

Dumbledore was not surprised to see the pregnant Mrs. Norris and the angry Mr. Filch wending their way to his office. He opened the door to the pair. He already had a cup of calming tea for the caretaker and a saucer of warm milk for the mother-to-be. "Argus, take a seat," Dumbledore said. His blue eyes were twinkling and he was grinning with approval at the cat, "And please set Mrs. Norris down by her beverage."

"What are we to do?" Argus asked. "We just can't have her sitting around an unwed mother and all. It is a bad example for the students."

"I hardly think that we can force them to marry. You did know that cats are not monogamous, didn't you?"

"But, the kittens," Argus said, "who will care for them?"

"Oh, Argus, that won't be a problem." Albus smirked as he watched the cat stealthily move toward the door that was ajar. "The castle always has room for more little ones."


"Crooks, where are you?" Lovey purred as she crept down the stairs toward the kitchens.

"I was waiting for you," he replied. "Did you let your person know?"

"He is in a dither and talking with the Headmaster."

"Dobby says he will take us to the hospital wing. There is a nice closet with linens in it that is dark. We can knock a few to the floor and wait for the arrivals there tonight."


"Argus Filch," Madam Pomfrey called as she entered the Great Hall just before dinner, "you and Miss Granger need to come with me."

Hermione lifted her hands, palms up and shrugged her shoulders as if to silently say, "I haven't a clue." She followed Mr. Filch and the Mediwitch toward the Hospital Wing. Headmaster Dumbledore whispered to his deputy that he was going to see what was going on and for her to keep the peace.

When they arrived at the Hospital Wing, Poppy led the group to a linen closed at the back of the room. She opened the door just a crack and lit the space with a dim lumos spell. There on a clean towel on the floor lay the proud Mrs. Norris with one orange, long-haired kitten, one gray, short-haired tabby, and one calico, medium-haired kitten. They were hungrily eating. An aloof half-kneasel sat to one side with a smirk on his face that said, "Look what I did!"


Hogwarts School Arithmancy Class Assignment #8

Task: Write about the strangest pairing you can think of.

Optional Prompts: boot, dog, fire, Ravenclaw and students. Prompts in bold were used in the story.

Word Count: 400 min, no max. My word count 1038.