That night, I wake about 6 times from night terrors. My face and pillow is wet from tears, my throat is dry and scratchy from screaming, and my nightgown is damp from sweat. After I catch my breath and wipe away this sticky hair that has stuck itself to my face and neck, I walk to my window with a glass of water and gaze at Peeta's house. The lights upstairs are still on. This worries me since he was so tired after his episode. The breeze blows through my curtains and I make up my mind that I have to be stronger in front of Peeta and not burden him with my guilt. Doesn't he already have enough to deal with? Yes, I will not be selfish anymore. I finally find a restless sleep just as the sky begins to lighten on the horizon.

When I wake, I judge by the absurd brightness of the sun coming through my window that it's midday. I shower to get the saltiness of sweat off of my skin, and avoid the mirrors while I dress in pants and a dark cotton long-sleeved shirt. I decide to go hunting even though it's late. When I get downstairs I see the remains of breakfast. Greasy Sae made some eggs and Peeta brought over more bread. Both are wrapped on the counter. I cut a slice of the bread that smells sweet like fruit and wrap it in a cloth for later in the woods. I then slip on my boots and leave my Father's coat behind. Judging by the breeze coming through my window, it was a warm spring day. I sling my quiver and my game bag over my shoulder and grab my bow and practically jump off of my porch out the door.

As I stride through Victor's Village, I hear Haymich cursing at his geese. I see one waddle across the walkway ahead. I groan to myself and catch up to it. I grab the honking bird and hold it at arms length as I quickly walk around Haymich's house to the back while it wiggles itself in a ridiculous circular motion trying to get free.

"Haymich! Take this bird before I shoot it." I announce loudly as Haymich catches sight of me.

"Well, if it isn't Miss Everdeen." Haymich stumbles only once and has a light sway to his step so I figure he's in the beginning stages of his drunken cycle. I grow impatient waiting for him to take the bird so I throw it over the fence. It flaps around until it rights itself and tries to nip at my feet through the fence.

"You break it, you buy it!" Haymich yells. I roll my eyes and turn to walk away. He acts like he doesn't care about these geese, but the fact is that he wouldn't take care of them if he didn't want to. "I'll bring you back a squirrel if you're that upset about it." I say over my shoulder as I start to walk away.

"Katniss!"

I stop suddenly sensing the change in mood. He hardly ever uses my first name. I don't, however, walk back towards him because I am sure this is a trick. Haymich hobbles to the edge of the fence and narrows his eyes at me. He waits a little while just looking at me and then finally sighs.

"Good to see you out." Immediately, he lowers his eyes and he turns his back to me and walks back towards his house. I watch as he tosses the geese the rest of their food over his shoulder and they all form into a single mound of jiggling feathers around the pile. I turn to start walking back to the woods and I catch a glimpse out of the corner of my eye as he plops down on the rocking chair on the back porch and takes a long pull on a liquor bottle, never casting another glance my way. I also set my eyes ahead and walk towards the entrance if Victor's Village. Compliments make him uncomfortable and he knows that it makes me uncomfortable as well.

When I get to the woods, the heat of spring brings life in smell and in sound. I'm nearly deaf from the birds chirping, the various insects and frogs singing, and the rustle of wind through the trees. Everything smells fresh like green grass and budding flowers which makes me think of Peeta. My dandelion in the spring. How appropriate for him to come back into my life now just as spring fills my senses and breathes warmth into the dark cold winter of my mind. I feel guilty that I should allow the warmth in, because I know I don't deserve it.

However, somewhere deep down in my heart where Prim still is alive, I know she wants me to do this. I know this like I know the color of her eyes and how she smiles when buttercup plays with mom's yarn. I know she wants this because I know her and that trumps what I or anyone else thinks I do or don't deserve. I make up my mind right then that I will live the rest of my life the way that Prim would want. For her. As I silently make that vow, I feel like a huge weight is lifted from me. I sigh and breathe in the fresh air. Though I'm not ready to believe all of Peeta's words from last night yet, about not me being responsible for everything and for things being better now, I feel like im closer to that frame of mind.

After a few quiet moments, I catch a springing white tail dart off in the distance. I grip my bow and set my mind to catch something for Greasy Sae. Regardless of the reason why she's looking after me, it is the least I could do. I creep quietly through the trees on my hunters feet and manage to shoot 2 rabbits and 3 squirrels. 1 rabbit I got through the eye and I gave a yelp of happiness when I noticed. I clean my kills and head out of the woods. I've been hunting a few times, but I've never come back with much of a haul like this one.

When I get to town, I try to keep my head down and mentally try to melt into my game bag I have slung over my shoulder. I only look up to scan the area for Sae and catch a few gaping people who apparently think watching me walk through town is more interesting than whatever they were doing. It's different now than it was after the first games and even in thirteen. The war changed everything and everyone. Now I'm not one of them anymore. I'm something else that starts wars and kills ally leaders and has mental breakdowns. I want to just yell at them to go watch the footage of the games or the war. That I don't know what they are waiting for. But, I decide to leave it alone. Peeta would tell me to leave them alone.

When I find Sae, she sees me and does a double-take with a dramatic gasp and presses her hand to her chest. I've never seen so much emotion out of her before so I stop and wait to see what she does. Quickly, she finds her herself. "Girl it's been so long since I seen you walkin around here like that, I thought I was seein' a ghost!"

"Well, I guess it's more likely you'd see a ghost, anyway." I say matter-of-factly referring to the mass grave which happens to be close by. I drop my game bag from my shoulder and hold it out to her. "Here."

"About time." She unceremoniously takes my game bag and empties it of its contents. Then, she hands me back my game bag and she turns to prepare the meat for stew or storage. I turn and walk away in a different direction from the center of town to get home. Even if it is longer, I'll do anything to avoid people gawking at me. After a while, a tired jelly feeling settles in my legs and arms from the days hunt and walk. Also from the satisfying feeling of settling debt you owe.

When I finally get to the entrance of Victor's Village, I judge by the low orange glow coming from the sun that it is close to supper time. I try to not think about how much I want to see Peeta. But, as if my mind summoned him, I see him sitting on my porch as I get closer. He's sitting on my top step and his head is low in his hands. I watch him and when he doesn't move for a good 10 seconds I begin to think something is wrong.

"Peeta!" I shout and start to sprint towards him. His head jerks up and he leans on the railing, away from his bad leg, to get to a stand. I slow as I get close because I see that he isn't having an episode. He's looking at me and processing what I'm doing. "Peeta, are you alright?" He looks at me hard for a second like he's waging a war with himself in his mind. I take in his red eyes and wrinkled clothing. No, something is not right. Finally, he let's out a chuckle to himself and shakes his head as he looks up at the sky. I feel my brows pinch together in concern. I slowly take the first step on the porch and then the next trying to get closer to him like the proximity to him will yield clarity. He sighs and looks at me.

"I thought something was wrong. I thought I did something to offend you." I stare at him trying to understand. Did he have an episode and now is confused? We are inches apart and I'm standing on the step directly under him now as he leans on the railing on the top step. I normally would feel uncomfortable this close to someone, but it's Peeta, so I don't. If I'm being honest with myself, his closeness is comforting. He straightens up which makes him lean even closer to me. I make myself not flinch or move.

"You ran out when we had dinner last night and then you didn't come down for breakfast, so I thought..." he bites his bottom lip and looks away. It dawns on me in a flash what I must have seemed like to him from my actions. I'm so selfish, I keep surprising even myself.

"No, Peeta. I was upset with myself not you. Last night, I just kept making things worse." My eyes focus on a point in the distance while I relive some of the images in my mind. Suddenly, I feel his warm fingers gently take my chin and tilt my head up. My eyes meet his penetrating gaze. I always feel like he can see straight through every one of my barriers to the selfish, terrified girl underneath.

"Katniss, how could you think that you could make things worse? I'm going to have episodes with or without you. I want to be around you no matter how you are." He still grips my chin to hold my eyes while his words sink in. Didn't he say something like that last night too? Does that mean he still cares about me like the way he used to? My heart begins to beat faster and my eyes travel to his lips. They look so soft and I think about how they felt on the beach during the quell. I unconsciously lick my lips. I have kissed those lips so many times, and now it's all I can think about. Do I actually want to kiss him right now? Peeta releases my chin and then runs his finger down my jaw line. I sigh and close my eyes at his caressing touch without thinking, still reliving our kisses in my mind. Though this transports me back to troubling memories-which will undoubtedly play a part in my nightmares tonight-Peeta was always my lighthouse in the dark who made me feel safe. Being close to Peeta makes the vast emptiness inside me feel not as lonely. I open my eyes to meet Peeta's again. My breath is coming out in short, soft pants. Why am I reacting this way?

Then, I first notice his dilated pupils. After that, I see his pulse in his neck from his elevated heartbeat. I gasp and grab his other hand while I straighten up and search his eyes for other signs of an episode. But, to my embarrassment, Peeta is not having an episode. Peeta looks at me curiously and then smiles. "Katniss, you're still so pure." I growl and throw his hand down. I try to shove him out of the way, so that I can march into my house, but fail and end up just pressing my hands against his hard chest which ends up making me more flustered. My depressed state weakened my strength and I could barely make him budge to begin with. He laughs and moves out of my way to let me pass. The last thing I hear before I shut the door on this embarrassing encounter is Peeta's voice, smooth as silk, say "See you at supper, Katniss."

After I get inside, I slump into a chair and watch Peeta make his way back into his house from the window. Then, for the next hour, I think of every scenario I can to avoid future embarrassment. I can't believe I let myself get so caught up. I must have looked like such a fool to him. Peeta made the promise of supper, but I don't know where. I think of the various possibilities and must've been so focused I don't hear the door open. By the time I hear his heavy steps, it's too late and he's standing there looking at me when I crane my neck to see him holding some containers of food.

"It's just some leftovers." he says and he walks to my kitchen to start unpacking. I audibly groan and force myself to be useful. I'm not hungry, and I'd rather be left alone to think after that encounter I just had with Peeta. I start to cross my foyer and suddenly I'm almost knocked down by Haymich barreling through the door.

"Oh, hey Sweetheart, I wouldn't stand behind doors. People sometimes have a habit of coming through them." he says seeing my annoyance written all over my face. "People also sometimes have a habit of knocking before they come through doors that aren't theirs." I bite back.

"Oh! Is that right?" He questions, dripping with sarcasm as he glides to the dining table and bites one of my cheese buns in half. "Well, I'll have to remember that the next time you pay uncle Haymich a visit." He plops into a chair and grins at me.

"It doesn't count when your host is always comatose and wouldn't answer the door. Also, judging by the state of your house, I think any manners would be out of place." I cut back.

"Oh, Katniss. I invited Haymich over. I hope that's ok." Peeta softly says to me as he comes in with the warmed food and plates. He shoots me an apologetic look.

"Oh? I hadn't even noticed." I say with as much venom I can muster. Peeta looks back and forth at Haymich and I. I know I shouldn't be so hateful about this because this inevitably means that Peeta found Haymich in a state where he had not eaten actual food for days, but I'm not in a place to put up with Haymich right now. This day has been too long already.

"Well I hope you do notice I'm here before you two have another little flirty moment. Next time you should take it inside before you just stand on your steps and stare at each other and just spare me the awkward teenage romance visual."

When I confirm and reconfirm in my mind exactly what Haymich said, my brain instantly boils with embarrassment, anger, fear, denial, and then hope in the span of a half second. I stand up so quickly the chair almost topples over behind me. "I'm not hungry." I announce and sprint up the stairs to my room where I strip off my clothes, and jump in the shower to try and scrub away the day. Once the water starts to run cold, I dress in a long nightgown and sit in the chair in my room that I pulled up to the window to watch the night. I hear some shuffling around downstairs and then see Haymich make his way towards his house. He stops in the street and peers up to my window. He must have seen me sitting here often enough before. He waves at me spitefully and I give him my middle finger. He laughs loudly and then strides to his house, I'm sure ready to kill one of his liquor bottles.

Then, I hear a gentle knock on my door. Peeta. "Come in," I say, but instantly regret it. I'd rather not talk about what happened earlier, on the steps or at the table. Then I remember I'm only in my nightgown which, although long, happens to be remarkably thin. He softly glides in like someone would when they are trying not to wake a sleeping baby. He has my plate of food in his hand.

"Keep this up and I'll start thinking you actually hate my cooking." He smiles sheepishly at me and makes to the center of my room. I smile back and guide him to my bed where we sit and I take the plate and put it in my lap. He threw some extra cheese buns on the plate for me. I stuff one in my mouth so I don't have to talk.

I eat in silence as Peeta sits beside me and takes in my room, occasionally sneaking glances at me. Once, I see him sweep his eyes over my form when he thinks I'm not looking, his eyes lingering at my chest. I look down and realize that the cooling breeze through the cracked window has chilled me and made my breasts come to hard points under my thin nightgown. I've always been small, and from what I heard, it's better to have a large chest, so I ignore Peeta's looks because I can't imagine why he would look at me for that reason. I never thought I was actually desirable in that kind of way. Even while in Cinna's beautiful dresses, I thought the only possibility of being pretty was because his amazing gowns might have made me so. Like a well-tailored mannequin. Never desirable. As I think about Cinna I sigh and sink lower into the bed.

"What is it?" I look up at Peeta and his head is slightly cocked to the side with a concerned look written on his face. "Cinna." I say quietly as I look back to my plate while I finish up the last little pile of food on my plate. I'm not hungry anymore, but I want to make Peeta happy, so I finish anyway.

"Hm." Peeta nods in understanding. He's the only person that can understand me this way. "Sometimes I think about that morphling that died to save me in the Quell," Peeta says, "I guess I know now that it was for the rebellion, but I can't shake that she did that. I see her face right before she died flash behind my eyes all the time." Betraying his calm demeanor, his eyes shift away to a distant place as he undoubtedly recollects that horrible memory. I hate to see his face in pain like this. Hasn't he been through enough? I know all too well about the gruesome flashes that come to you at random. Prim dissolving into flames is a popular scene in my mind. I often thought that if I only could take a picture of what I saw and destroy it, or maybe keep it, I would finally be free of it.

"Peeta, do you still paint?" I ask placing my empty plate on the bed behind me.

"Yeah. Though it's been more drawing than painting since the hijacking. Why?" So, he remembers from before.

"Have you ever tried painting your visions or nightmares? Maybe it would help you." Peeta looks down at the floor and then up at the ceiling. His blond hair is growing out and is falling over his ears. The top looks like he's been sweeping or tossing it to the side. I decide that it's very becoming on him and that this hair is my favorite. I resist a strange urge to touch it.

"I used to paint memories from our first games, real or not real?" He asks but sounds confident like he knows the answer.

"Real," I respond without hesitation. Maybe even a little too eager. "That was your hobby that was shown after the games."

He nods slightly. "I thought so."

"What about you?" he asks. I look up at him and he scoots closer to me. "What do you do to help with the visions and nightmares?" I give a chuckle, but he still waits for a response.

"Dwell. Wallow. Hide in closets," I say. I smile to myself at the thought. I'm just like my mother. I feel a shift in the mattress and Peeta's strong arms wrap around me and squeeze me to his chest. I wasn't overly upset, so this is an embrace that Peeta wanted. I sigh and rest my head against his beating heart and breathe in his sweet masculine smell. I'm enjoying this too much. He rests his chin on the top of my head.

"Maybe I could draw or paint for you. I can paint what I remember. I was there for most of it and I can always just paint someone's likeness if you want it."

I pull away and look up at him. "Like the plant book! But, for our memories. Peeta, that's a great idea!" Peeta grins at my response. "I want to start with Cinna. I've been thinking of him a lot recently. Can you draw Cinna?"

Peeta nods and takes my hand and kisses the top. It's a simple gesture. Not as intimate as our embrace we just broke, but somehow that gesture feels important. "I'll start on it now and come over for supper tomorrow and show you what I have." With that, he gets up and walks to my door, gently closing it as he casts one last happy look my way.

Maybe we can fix ourselves and heal. Is it possible to move on after so much destruction and have a life at all that belongs to you? If that's true, what would happen to my life? As I'm pondering, I realize after some time that Peeta is in every one of my possibilities of a future. I need him to move on and I need him to be happy. I don't like being dependant on anyone, but I relent that it might be necessary after a person has lived through so much horror. Perhaps, after Peeta and I fix ourselves, then we go our separate ways and pretend like the games and the war never happened. Right as I finish that thought my mind flashes to my memory of Peeta telling me he didn't want to forget after our first games. My heart aches even at my memory of his hurt face of the boy that means so much to me. He meant everything to me even then, but I spent so much time trying to run from the games, so I put him in that box as well.

No. I'll not do that again. I'll let Peeta decide this time. He's welcome to leave or stay for as long as he wants. I know that my life is here and it'll only be this, but I will never have children and probably never marry and I know peeta wants both of those things. I can't and won't deny him the chance to find another life that will provide that without me. Peeta can stay or leave, I owe him that much at least. I hope he leaves soon because the longer he stays, the harder it will be to put myself together. But deeper still, I wish more that he stays with me and chooses to live the rest of his life with me. I guess this means that I really do have feelings for Peeta, as more than just friends. My dandelion in the spring. Prim was right.

The next day Peeta brings over a leather folder with drawings of Cinna. After supper, I light a fire in the fireplace and Peeta makes us tea. When I'm done with the fire I sit on the couch and open the folder and peer into the contents. I hear the ting ting of stirring spoons in a mug, so I know peeta will be along shortly. When I first see the impression of Cinna, I feel my eyes fill up and my vision get blurry. My Peeta has perfectly captured Cinna's beautiful smile. This is the first time I've seen him since he was beaten in front of me before the quell. I'm overwhelmed with the sadness of his death. His youth, rare warmth, and incredible talent squished like an annoying bug under snow's disgusting foot as if it were nothing.

Peeta comes to the living room and sets our two mugs on the coffee table. He then sits down next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulders as my tears slide down my face freely. I place my hand on the drawing wishing I could touch Cinna's face.

"It's so good, Peeta." I whisper. "Thank you." I finally look up at him and he smiles at me and brushes away my tears from my cheek with his thumb.

"There are more. Tell me what you think and I'll do a final one for our book."

I slide into the floor and spread out the pages. I drink in every detail and memories start to come back that I had forgotten. I look up at Peeta and Buttercup sits on his lap while he absently pets him, watching me. I ask Peeta to hand me some paper and I start to write down the memories of Cinna that bubble up from my depths of my mind. I should be sad, but I feel free of my sorrow. It's as if dredging up these memories and writing them down makes them permanent, and therefore makes Cinna more alive.

"His eyes are more like this one, but not like this." I tell Peeta pointing to the drawing. He nods seriously at me. "And the way he smiles here is exactly how he would look at me during my interviews with Caesar."

Peeta grins. "I know. He would look at you like that whenever you did something that people didn't expect." It takes me a second to process what peeta just said. When I realize that he just mentioned something he remembered about me, I'm shocked and stare at Peeta.

"Peeta? You remember?"

Peeta looks at me and our eyes lock. "Yes." he says.

"How?" I ask in total disbelief.

"Well, I don't know everything. I'm sure I'm still missing pieces of things. But, I've been able to recover a lot of memories...real ones...from almost every significant experience I had."

"Peeta." I get kicked with the feeling like I'm finally getting the reunion I wanted when they brought Peeta in from the Capitol. I jump up off of the floor, fling Buttercup off the couch where he lands with a hiss, and curl into Peeta's lap. I sit on his lap and hang my legs off the side and wrap my arms around his neck. He circles his arms around me and I bury my head in his neck.

"I've missed you so much." I tell him. Peeta gives a long sigh like he's releasing a breath he has been holding.

"I missed you too, Katniss."

We hold each other for a long time. Clinging to each other afraid that if we let go someone will rip us apart again. I feel so familiar with him that his skin almost feels like its my own. His smell brings me comfort and the steady movement from his breathing soothes the darkness that consumes me.

After a while I feel something move underneath my bottom. I have felt this before when Peeta and I slept together. A few times on the train, I would wake up first, before Peeta could move away, and I would feel it pressing against me. Once, when I was sure he was asleep, I pressed my leg against it back curiously and it twitched. Then, he sighed and hugged me tighter to him, protectively and affectionately. The experience made me confused, but I never forgot it. I replay that memory at night in my head sometimes when I can't sleep.

I feel a little cramped in my back, so I use the opportunity to stretch, deliberately arching my back and pressing my bottom on top of his hardness that I feel underneath me. I feel another pulse in response to my movements underneath me. Then I feel Peeta's hand spasm, slide down my side to my hip, and squeeze. His thumb is on my hip bone and his skilled hand is wrapped around the fleshy part of my hip that is really filling out now. His squeeze is slow and forceful, like it's releasing and also fueling something. This fills my stomach with a feeling of anticipation and excitement that starts in my chest and pulses out into my limbs to then bounce back to the spot between my legs. I sigh into his shoulder.

Suddenly, he tries to start to stand up. Embarrassed, I clamber off of his lap and try not to notice how cold I suddenly feel. Peeta starts to gather the sketches he did of Cinna, and leaves the notes of my memories.

"We should try to sleep." He says finally. I conclude that I have made him uncomfortable. I am an idiot for thinking we could go back to the way we were, or rather further than before. I feel mortified and disappointed.

"Katniss. What's wrong." I look up at him as he stands above me. He has a look of concern and a tense stance like he's trying to hold something in. Probably because he's trying to hide his disgust.

"Nothing. You're right. You should sleep." I say with finality and stand to collect the rest of our things and put them away. I just want this encounter to end as gracefully as it can if that's even possible. Obviously I was wrong to think that Peeta could still have feelings for me like he used to. Wrong to think that we could enjoy each other like we used to, even if it was for the cameras. I had gotten accustomed to Peeta's affection and when he was kidnapped by snow I came to realize that I missed it and I took him for granted. That's what I get for being selfish. I need to let him go. Peeta slowly walks towards the door watching me.

"I'll work on a final drawing of Cinna for our memory book. Thank you for giving me your thoughts. They were very helpful "

"You're welcome." I say as I neatly put my papers away in a drawer. We are just friends. This is how friends act.

"Katniss?" I stop and look at him. His hair is falling to the side and his clothes are rumpled from where I was sitting on him.

"I'm right next door, OK? If you need me ...or if you just don't want to be alone."

I hold back the urge to ask him to stay. I'm not wounded or about to die. There's no reason for it anymore. Some night terrors are hardly a reason to selfishly ask someone to stay when I'm perfectly safe in my own bed.

"OK peeta. Thank you." And go back to my straightening. I have to let him go. I have to accept my fate and allow peeta to find a life without me. A better life. I hear the soft click of peeta closing the door behind him down the hall.

The next week continues as it should. Peeta comes over for breakfast, I hunt, he draws and bakes, we eat supper and work on the memory book. We keep each other at a distance like an invisible wall. On the last day of the week Peeta and I are washing dishes after supper. I look at him every time he hands me something to dry. His red eyes are back and he has a hunched depressed air about him. His head hangs lower than normal and his shoulders are rounded in. Once we are done, I start to walk towards the living room to light a fire, but he is slow and stops at the kitchen table.

"Katniss..." He starts. I whirl around to face him. His breathing is heavy and getting heavier. He puts both of his hands on the table and hangs his head.

"Peeta?" I ask and walk towards him. He looks up at me when I get closer and I watch as his beautiful blue eyes disappear and his pupils dilate completely and then rapidly shrink to a small point.

"Peeta!"

I run to him and embrace him from behind and wrap my arms around his middle. My head rests on his upper back which bobs up and down from his erratic breathing. This isn't working. I circle around to his front and pry his hands away from the table by getting underneath him and try to straighten him up. Peeta starts to tremble and gasp. Before I know what's happening, Peeta and I start to fall backwards and I wrap my arms to the back of his head just in time for him to smack into the floor with me on top of him. My arms hurt from being a cushion to his head from the fall, but I ignore it.

"Peeta! Can you hear me?" I straddle him and lean down to put my face in front of his. His eyes are darting around like he's in another world with something to be afraid of in every corner. "Not real, Peeta!" I shout, but he doesn't respond. He's lost in his mind and I have to find a way to pull him out. I think back to the only thing that worked before.

Without hesitation, I press my mouth to his. At first he starts to shake harder and make noises in between my kiss and I have to press my lips against his hard. I don't stop, determined to pull him out if this. After a few moments, the trembling stops and his breathing starts to slow. I look into his eyes and his pupils go back to normal. Then, I start to feel his lips purse and kiss me back. I pull away and break the kiss to look at him. Peeta looks around taking in that he's on the floor and I'm on top of him. He takes a long sweeping look at me straddling him. He then sits up so that his face is only a few inches from mine. He searches my eyes, but doesn't say or do anything else. I start to feel uncomfortable because I know Peeta probably doesn't want me to be sitting on him this way like last time. What if he's upset and I just made things worse.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do." I say looking away and shifting my weight on my right leg so I can swing off of him. Suddenly, he grabs my arm.

"Wait." He says. I slowly sit back down on him reluctantly. I look away and wait for him to continue, but he doesn't. He releases my arm and reaches his hand up under my chin and gently turns my head to look at him like he did on the porch. He looks in my eyes again. I feel his other hand slide to my thigh and hold me against him. I must have a look of confusion on my face because Peeta just smiles at me. Then, the hand under my chin caresses its way under my ear and starts pulling my face towards his and he starts moving toward me to meet me. I have a moment of panic, but the instant that our noses touch, the familiarity of this boy and the memory of the comfort and friendship we have shared wins out. I close my eyes and feel his lips meet mine.

Finally, I feel like I am where I should be. Ever since I lost peeta after the quell I felt like I've been floating in an abyss, struggling to find the surface. But right now, with Peeta, this kiss feels like the gulp of air that I've been looking for. Its a slow and tender kiss, none like we had ever shared before, because this one is full of love, pain, and healing. We kiss each other gently like a promise. After a while, slowly, we pull away and rest our foreheads against each other.

"Katniss," Peeta whispers. "Do you really think I don't want you?" I open my eyes and find his so close. Searching. Of course he knew what I was thinking. He doesn't even try to ask me too many questions anymore. He just searches my eyes and watches me and somehow knows. I want to tell him that I already know. He doesn't want me and he doesn't have to hide it anymore.

"Of course I do. When we were on the couch after you first drew Cinna and I was on your lap..." Peeta pulls away to look at me suddenly. His blonde eyebrows pinch together and his blue eyes pierce through me like he is trying to make sense of something.

"You... did that on purpose?" He asks slowly with disbelief. Both of us know we're are talking about the stretch. I feel the hot bright red color that surely covers every inch of my skin, and I turn and try to get up off of him, but he holds me down by gripping my thighs even tighter now.

"Katniss, tell me. Is that why you've been distant towards me?"

I sigh and nod at the floor. He would find out anyway somehow. There is no use lying to Peeta. He always said I was a bad liar. Peeta takes a breath that sounds like a sigh and a gasp.

"Katniss, I left because I didn't think you knew the effect you were having on me and if I had stayed much longer I would have lost all the self-control that I had. Besides, I thought you stretched because you were getting tired."

"Oh." Is all I can manage. I can't quite wrap my head around anyone, let alone Peeta, wanting me in that way. I look back at Peeta who chuckles and shakes his head.

We both get up off of the floor. As he is helping me up, he sees my arms which are red and starting to bruise.

"Katniss! What happened did I do this!?" Peeta asks in a rush.

"No! We started to fall backwards so I used my arms to protect your head from hitting the floor too hard."

He looks at me and kisses the redness on the inside of my arms. "Next time just let me fall. Katniss, this looks painful." He looks at my arms sadly.

"Its what we do." I say simply. Peeta squeezes his eyes closed and nods. "We protect each other." He finishes with a smile.