A few weeks go by, and the consistent afternoon summer storms make us both tense. I jump at every loud noise, only thinking the worst at first. Flashes of blood and fire display themselves in my vision, and each time it takes me twice as long to calm down. Peeta hasn't laughed in days. The effort to keep up appearances is weighing heavy in the muscles around his eyes. The storms have made us overly sensitive. Even a slight tapping of light rain is enough to make Peeta cling to furniture and me want to dive into the cabinet. At night, before we manage to sleep the few torturous moments before we wake each other with our thrashing and screams, I think about how we are so haunted. Even in thirteen, real threats were still around every corner. But now that we are supposed to be safe, it's harder to relax. As if our enemy is more clever now, and has learned to hide where we won't expect them, making us paranoid. When you grow up with the games and starvation all climaxing into two games and a war, you can't understand how there can't be something waiting to kill you. Something lurking around the door or in the rain. I know Peeta feels this too.
Peeta is worse. I almost feel like I did in the months before Peeta came back to Twelve. Lost and alone. Peeta is just a warm body that mutters an occasional useless greeting or mundane question whenever he breaks through his own storm enough to force something out. My loneliness is slowly taken over by determination as the days stretch on and I want bring Peeta back to me. When I try to hold his hand he squeezes hard erratically and then let's go quickly like he's being burned. He's afraid he'll hurt me. I think it's ridiculous that he thinks he could ever hurt me. Deep down I know the weather is more than the quell to him. I know something about this reminds him of when he was captured and hijacked, but when I try to ask him about it, he gives only curt answers and ends the conversation.
There was one day where there were no dark clouds, rain, or lightening. I hunted and Peeta baked. I saw him smile and a playful spark return in the shadows of his eyes. Where his eyes were turning into a pale blue-gray, like they were after he was rescued, they were becoming bluer and brighter again that day. By the end of the day, he kissed my lips before bed and we slept long and hard from exhaustion.
The next morning was still clear and I went into the woods to get more game and Peeta went into town to see how the clean up crews were doing and if they needed help. The morning provided to be productive and I had a full game bag before noon. I took the time to walk to the lake and take in its fullness from the extra rain.
Over the mountain across the lake, I see the puffy white tops of thunder clouds expanding and moving this way. I huff in frustration and kick the dirt. I glare at the clouds which bring misery to my life for a long minute, grunt as I sling my game bag over my shoulder, and begin the hike back to town. It's normal for district twelve to get storms in the summer, but occasionally we have ones that go on for weeks. Sometimes they come in the form of thick windy snow in the winter. In school, they taught us that this was because of pollution that built up in the old days. Now we have unpredictable and often harsh weather.
When I get to town everyone is out enjoying the break of sunshine. I quickly dart through the streets with my head down to get to Sae's. I register in the back of my mind that soon I'll have to get used to this and so will the new citizens of district twelve, but that will only take time. Just like everything else about the horrors of what happened to all of us. When I get to Greasy Sae's, I keep more than usual in case the storms continue their assault and I can't make it to the woods. I also buy two bowls of her stew that looks like beans and some other vegetables she had stored and promise to bring back her bowls. When the storm rolls in Peeta should not worry about cooking. Maybe if I make everything easy for him he won't disappear into his mind. I know it's a naive thought, but I want to try it anyway.
By the time Peeta comes home, I have cleaned and prepared all of the meat for storage or cooking and the clouds are creeping in. I warm up the stew on the stove and set it on the table. Peeta looks tired, but still present. After supper, we clean up and climb the stairs to his bedroom. The storm has intensified and this is the worst one yet. The thunder shakes the house the wind makes the walls creak. I take a shower first and when I get out Peeta is clenching and unclenching his fists and staring at the window. He wordlessly steps into the bathroom and starts his own shower.
I can't lose him again, I have to try to get him to stay with me. I slowly change into a light and soft shirt and shorts that I've been sleeping in and wait for Peeta. I rack my brain trying to think of things that would make him connect and stay in this world, memories or things he enjoys, but by the time he steps out of the shower, I've thought of none.
Peeta offers me a warm, but tense smile. He moves stiffly and quickly like he has to force himself to move. We both climb into bed and he turns off the light. I turn on my side and wait for him to kiss me. He leans up and presses his lips to mine swiftly and falls back down in the mattress, his mind occupied. I sigh and lay down. He is the first to fall asleep and twitches from nightmares. Mine follow soon after.
I'm in the quell and the wire has snapped and I'm back at the tree. Peeta isn't here and my heart is in my throat. I hear the rumbling of thunder and rain in the distance that is the tell of the lighting strike that is about to happen. I look in my hands and I'm holding the arrow with the wire wrapped around it ready on my bow. I frantically look around.
"Peeta!" I scream. I wait for a response. Nothing.
"Peeta!" I yell louder uncaring about who will hear me. I look at my hands again and I'm pointing the arrow at the sky. I know this story. I've left Peeta and I have to find him. I have to find him before something happens to him.
I struggle to break from this spell, and manage to lower my bow and after a minute throw it on the ground. Something about this freedom registers in the shadows of my mind that I've never done this before. Without wanting to waste more time I take off running back into the woods. I scream Peeta's name over and over while I crash through bushes and branches. Finally, when I've made my way halfway to the beach I hear him.
Its soft but urgent. Like a whisper amplified and in the shape of my name. I yell for Peeta louder and then quiet myself trying to find the direction of Peeta's voice. His voice sounds broken and sad and I panic starting to wonder what happened to him since I left with Joanna. I keep hunting Peeta's voice and it grows louder but I don't see any other sign of him. No crunching of leaves and twigs. No breathing. My vision blurs and tears start to stream down my face. Am I too late? I hear the others yelling for me to come back to the tree and finish the plan, but I don't care about them or their plan. I only want Peeta and now I've lost him.
I sink to the ground and make gasping sobs while hopelessly trying to call for him. I feel sick. His voice is still calling to me but it dawns on me that it's probably the same trick they did with Prim. They've taken Peeta and replaced him with a jabberjay. The other voices call to me more urgently from the tree but I lay on the ground and cry for Peeta. I hear the charge of electricity in the air for the Lightning to hit the tree and wait for the strike. When it does happen, the sound is so close and loud and so blindingly bright that I jump two feet of the ground.
I wake up as I bolt up out of bed gasping. The covers are bunched up at the end of the bed and the real storm outside is raging on. I wipe the wet tears off my face and look to Peeta who is deep in his nightmare. He's balling up the bed sheet under us in his hands and struggling like he's being held down. He's whimpering and saying my name in pain and desperation. I realize that I was hearing his voice in my dream and the lightning from the storm outside must have brought me out of it.
My Peeta. I look at him and finally put the pieces together.
I have the quell dream regularly on the film strip of fears and horrors that play while I sleep, but it's never played out that way. The only person that could ever make me abandon everything that I know is right and make me want to set fire to the world was Prim... until now.
Or has it always been this way?
I look at him whispering my name and wonder how it is that I've come to deserve this. Deserve him. I feel warmth pool in my chest as I gently touch his face, brush his golden hair from his eyes, stroke my thumb across his jaw. His eyes flutter and his hand covers mine as he starts to calm.
He was taken from me, tortured and ruined. Somehow, against impossible odds, he turned it around and even came back to me. Even though I left him. Even though I lied to him. Even though I tried to ignore it. Peeta's eyes open and lock on mine. I feel my head roll to the side as I stare in awe at everything that is this boy with the bread to saved me a lifetime ago. He sighs and waits to see what I will do. Always waiting, protecting, and nurturing me.
I am in love with Peeta.
My hand cradles the line of his jaw and I watch as my thumb travels to his lips and I relish in their softness that presses across the pad of my thumb. Peeta exhales through his nose and looks up at me. I'm propped up beside him on my elbow and lift my leg to slide over the cool hard feel of his prosthetic leg.
"Katniss? Did you have a nightmare?" He asks. True to form, Peeta is worried about me first while he's grappling through his own demons and nightmares. It doesn't even cross my mind to answer him. I let my eyes wander to his bare chest and my hand follows my eyes as I pluck the edge of our thin blanket and pull it down to his thighs, leaving his torso exposed to me in just his undershorts. My hand travels back up his stomach to his chest, and I slowly map the delicious curves of his muscles.
Peetas eyebrows furrow in confusion and he audibly gulps. I don't want just calm Peeta anymore. I want passionate Peeta too. I shift my weight and slide my leg over him more and straddle him. I sit myself on his hips and fold my legs so that my shins rest on the bed on his sides. I lean down slowly, watching him try to puzzle out what is happening here in our reality while he pushes back the shiny world that still is trying to force its way through in his mind. When my lips finally meet his, it's soft but strong. I move slowly and patient, coercing Peeta deeper into our reality. At first Peeta barely responds, but just like his flashbacks, he slowly begins to press his lips up to my own. After several minutes, our lips sweetly begin to dance in the way that is so familiar to us. Now that my wall is broken, and I know that the truth of my feelings for Peeta is real, I know that this will not be enough for me.
Peeta breaks away and gazes at me about to ask about my nightmares again, but I don't let him because I lower my head to kiss his cheek, jaw, then neck. I think about the times when Peeta's breath scooted across my ear, sending warm thrills down my spine, so I lean up and give his ear lobe a tentative lick. Peeta gasps and tries to sit up, but I grip his shoulders and push him back down. His mouth hangs open, as he stares at me. I lower myself back to his ear and trace the shell of his ear with my tongue. Peeta nearly arches off of the bed and grips my arms firmly pulling me back up.
"Katniss. Tell me what's wrong." I smile at him and flatten my hand over his heart and look back at him. He waits for me to explain.
"Peeta, nothing's wrong. I just want to... be close... to you." I say honestly, unsure of how to put my thoughts into words. He tips his head to the side and stays silent indicating that I need to explain more. When I don't and gaze at his eyes, then his lips, then his chest, he tries again.
"Is this because of the storm? Because of your nightmares? Or because of mine?" I shake my head no in answer immediately and Peeta purses his lips like when he's trying to figure out a difficult recipe.
"I need you Peeta." I say finally. His grip tightens on my arms, holding me in place as if I would flee at my admission. In answer, I shift my legs tight by his sides, squeeze them together, and hold him in place as well. His eyebrows lift up slightly in surprise. I feel the familiar wave of emotion crest in my mind that happens whenever I'm about to say something. It's the thing that many people said helped fuel the revolution and make me the mockingjay. I take a deep breath and open my mouth to allow what I know is about to change everything, for better or worse.
"I need all of you. Every minute of every day I just want to be closer to you, but I've always focused instead on all the reasons why I shouldn't. Even since our first games I've been lying to myself, refusing to acknowledge what everyone else saw. When I got on that train after our first reaping, I would have stopped at nothing to make my way back to Prim, to make sure she's safe. But at the end of the games I had the berries for us because I knew that either we would both live or I would die with you. I couldn't leave you no matter how hard I wanted to try, even though I am supposed to care for my family. But I chose you, I always chose you, even if I didn't know that myself."
Peetas mouth falls open and a soft gasp escapes as he exhales slowly, like someone has just told him the meaning of life. I don't wait, deciding that he will want to talk about it and I have had enough talking. I press my lips to his and lick his bottom lip lightly asking for admittance. Still stunned, he does part his lips absently and I turn my head so that my tongue can sweep softly across his. He tastes like he smells and I quickly feel like I can't get enough of him. I want Peeta to fill up all of my senses.
Slowly, he starts to mimic my tongue's movements and then starts to initiate it himself. Without warning, I feel him shift underneath me and he sits up, pulling me to sit up with him. I'm still sitting on him, straddling his hips and he sits under me with his chest flush against mine. He pulls apart from our kiss and locks his eyes with me searching for more affirmation. He circles an arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him roughly while he involuntarily thrusts his hips up and I feel the beginnings of his excitement-his excitement that I caused and my heart leaps in pleasure. I smile at his questioning gaze and lovingly rub my nose against his and then place a light kiss to the tip. I look back at him and he looks at me in wonder. Then, I finally see his walls break down and a fire of intensity burn behind his gaze that had been suffocated for longer than I could ever truly know.
He attacks my mouth and holds me to him tightly with one arm around my waist while the other hand tangles in my hair. I barely register the storm going on outside, and it seems so far away from us. Not threatening anymore. All I can feel is Peeta and my nerves shutter with anticipation of being consumed by him. Our tongues dance against each other and I instinctively roll my hips forward against his hardness. He growls deep in his throat and thrusts against me again. Slowly, he breaks our kiss and places both of his hands on the sides of my face while he presses his forehead against mine, breathing heavily and trying to catch his breath.
I put my hand on top of his on my face and pull it down to my neck. I slide his hand over my shoulder, my collar bone, and keep pulling it down. Peeta pulls back and looks at me eyes wide. I continue the journey of our hands and his hand caresses over my breast and I hear Peeta's breath hitch. I pull his hand to cup my entire breast and give it a squeeze and Peeta exhales forcefully. I let go of his hand and lean back as his other hand glides up and cups my other breast. Peeta closes his eyes and his mouth falls open. His strong hands on me makes my chest vibrate with electricity and I feel the peaks instantly harden. Peeta rubs one of his thumbs across to circle one of the hard tips and I whimper, rocking against his hardness again.
Peetas eyes open and burn into mine. His pupils are completely dilated to such a wide circle, I've only seen them like this when he's having an episode. Though, instead of hate and fear, this time pure desire fills them. As we thrust our hips against each other again, his hardness presses against a sensitive spot between my legs and I gasp and arch against him. Peeta growls and rips my shirt up and off of me in a split second, and immediately throws it across room. In an instant my top half is completely bare to him, the tips of my breasts already pebbled from Peeta's touch. Peetas eyes sweep agonizingly slow across my chest and before I have time to remember my embarrassment over my scars, he slides his hands across my stomach, up to my breasts and caresses them lightly with the tips of his fingers. Goosebumps prickle over my whole body and he takes his time kneading and weighing them. I begin to feel restless for relief, squirming against him when he lightly pinches one of the hard tips. The feeling sends a jolt of fire down to my core and I moan, utterly swept away from his touch.
Peeta looks up to me again and he has a twinkle in his eye that he gets whenever he thinks of an idea. Before I process what's happening, Peeta dives his head into the middle of chest. He starts to pepper light kisses across my skin and he inches towards my left nipple. I feel so overwhelmed by the feeling I grab on to Peeta's head, weaving my hands through his blond curly hair as he travels. When he reaches the tip I feel the wet warmth of his tongue slide around it in a circle and if feels so intense and foreign I can't help but let out a quiet moan. Peeta then latches on to the peak with his whole mouth and sucks while he brings his other hand up to pinch and rub the other.
I get lost in a tidal wave of sensation between his mouth and his skillful hands as he switches from one side to the other. I don't realize the the rhythmic gasps and light moans that come from my mouth as I continue to rub myself against Peeta's hardness. I slowly come back to myself as Peeta slows his exploration of my chest and I become very aware of how hard Peeta has become. The heat permeates through his undershorts and he feels like stone.
Without a second thought I lift myself off of Peetas hips and mouth and sit farther back on his thighs. Peeta frowns and I smile at him. I snake my hands out of his hair and slide them down his body to the the bulge in his shorts and caress a hand lightly against his excitement. I start out gentle, and then think of how roughly we were smashing our hips into each other and boldly press a little harder. Peetas head falls back and he lets out a whimpering sound of a powerful thing no longer in control. I take both of my hands and start to feel the shape of him through his shorts.
I know what men look like without clothes due to my mother's trade, but in feeling Peeta's private area and in this aroused state, I am in unexplored territory. I roll my hand low and feel the round and soft parts at the bottom. I grip the base of the hardness and run my hands up to the top and rub my thumbs across the ridge that separates the top from the rest in exploration. Peeta is making desperate low and gasping noises. I circle my thumbs over the tip and back down to the ridge curiously. It's then that I notice that Peeta is shaking. I look up at him and his eyes are locked on me and his whole body is trembling. For a moment I fear that I've brought on an episode, but one look in his eyes and I know that he's swept up in desire and our closeness and nothing else.
"Peeta. Are you ok?" I ask more breathily than I thought I would sound. Peeta gulps and nods his head eagerly. I smile but then wait, unsure.
"It's ok. I've imagined this for so long, Katniss. It's... really intense." He says gasping. He then sits up and seals his lips to mine. I relax against him and bring my arms around his neck. We part our lips at the same time and our tongues slide against each other. His shaking is lighter now and comes in bursts. I think that I should possibly be alarmed by his shaking because of his mental instabilities, but instead I feel empowered that I can make him feel such powerful sensations that clearly disarm him and also that he clearly wants me that much.
Motivated by his reaction, once more I let my hands drop to his shorts, but this time I tuck my fingers inside the waist of his shorts against his warm skin. Peetas eyes fly open. His mouth slacks open and his breath comes out in pants. I dip one hand in and I immediately meet his hardness. It's hot and hard and silky to the touch. The tip is soft and I pass my thumb over the top where there is a small opening with a drip of slick liquid begging me to continue. Peeta falls back, laying down with his head on the pillow. I allow my hand to move down and wrap it around the long shaft. It's big and though I try to reach my middle finger and thumb around, they don't touch. I feel a chill of nervousness run through my body at the idea of something this size inside of me, but I look at Peeta, who is now gripping the bedding under him, and know that this boy won't hurt me. I slide my hand down to the base and back up again to feel his length in my hand and caresses my thumb over the ridge and the top. Peeta makes a deep sound in his throat like a combination of a moan and a growl.
I pull his shorts away from him and down so that they bunch at his thighs and truly look at him for the first time. He's perfect and masculine and I'm not sure why I denied myself this opportunity during our first games. I gaze at him and watch how he pulses straight up against his belly. I flatten my hand against him and rub up and down once more. Peeta is looking at me intensely, watching my face. I think of how he seemed to enjoy the friction during my exploration of him and am overcome with the need to give him more, but the dryness of my hand prevents me to keep exploring him continuously like I want to. I think for a minute, and I bring my palm to my mouth and lick it, coating my hand. Then, I bring my hand back down, wrap it around him and glide my hand up and down. Peetas eyes roll back in his head and pushes his hips up into my hand. Taking this as a sign of success, I bring my hand back to my mouth and coat it a few more times between gyrations.
It's not enough. I need something smoother. I think for another minute, and without hesitation I dip my hand into my underwear and scoop up some of my own slippery wetness. Peeta groans and sighs and a wave of trembles hits him again. I bring my hand back to him and begin to pump up and down faster, swirling my hand over the top, enjoying the softness of Peeta's shape. Peeta starts gasping for air and moves his mouth like he's try to say something. I squeeze him more and pump faster, curious to see what I can make him do. He grows impossibly harder.
"Katniss..." He chokes out. All at once he tenses and his muscles under me give a shudder. A hot white liquid shoots out of the tip and on to my breasts.
"Ah... Ah..." Peeta moans as the liquid spurts out of him and onto me as he keeps pushing up into my hand. He writhes in pleasure, contracting and relaxing. I feel a wave of wetness flow through me in my core, as I watch Peeta lose himself and I slowly finish rubbing him. Once my breasts and belly have a good coating of his release, all of his muscles relax and he sighs low and deep. I look down at myself covered with him and I can't understand how I ever thought I could deny myself this kind of connection with Peeta. To be able to bring him so much pleasure gave me fulfillment and it was very exciting to see him in this way. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. After a time he pushes up on his elbows. He locks eyes with me and there's a happy fullness in his face.
"Wow." He says breathlessly. "Katniss, you have no idea how many times I've thought about you doing that to me." He says.
"I hope I didn't disappoint." I say feeling my lips curl up in a smile.
"That's not possible." He says without hesitation. I gaze at his flushed face and feel so much love for him. His eyes drift down to my bare chest, covered in him and the corner of his mouth quirks up in a smirk.
"Your turn." He announces and suddenly slides his arm under my left leg, pulls it up, and flips me so my back is against the bed and he's in between my legs hovering above me. I gasp at the sudden change and the strength of his dominance, remembering his wrestling days in school before our reaping. I tense nervously, because of my immediate vulnerability, but relax when I look up at Peeta's handsome face looking ethereal bathed in the little bit of light coming through my window. His face is right above mine and smiles at me. His lips crash into mine and his tongue soothes my nerves.
When he eventually breaks free, he begins to place soft and slow kisses to my ear which trail to my jaw, neck, shoulder, chest. He flicks his tongue over my nipple and then sucks it into his mouth. I involuntarily gasp and arch. Too soon he lets go and continues the trail of kisses down to my ribs, then my stomach. He kisses my hip bone and slides his tongue from there across my lower belly to the other hipbone. His wet tongue feels so sensual being so close to my throbbing and soaking center. My heart thumps so hard in my chest I'm sure he can hear it, and I feel like I can't catch my breath. Although very aware of how exposed I am, I can't help my reactions to Peeta's touch and how it only fuels my desire to be touched by him more.
He sits up on his knees and runs his hands down my thighs, staring at my lower body. He stops at my knees and looks up to meet his eyes with mine. The boy who has saved my life many times. I take a deep breath and exhale, wishing my heart to stop thundering in my chest, when he sides his hands under my knees and pulls my legs farther apart and slightly up towards my belly. This position totally exposes the area between my thighs to him. I know that he can tell how wet I am through my underwear because the cloth feels cold against my flesh from the side that's even more exposed to the air now. The underwear I have on is old and thin, and the material becomes dark and clings to anything when wet. He probably can also make out the delicate creases of my body.
Peeta hungrily drinks in the sight of me and I try not to hyperventilate. I can't help but also be taken by the sight of him as well, on his knees between my legs, chest and arms flexed holding my legs apart to expose my most private area to him. He slides down on the bed becoming closer to my core and kisses the inside of my thigh. I tense and prop myself up on my elbows. He moves closer to my center and looks up to me as he places another kiss farther up the inside of my thigh. He eyes sweep lower and look across my breasts which are still wet and glistening with him. He then let's go of my left leg and brings his hand down. He traces the leg-opening edge of my underwear down in between my legs. The feeling of his fingers is overwhelming and makes me feel like I'm slipping away from reality into a foreign world where only these sensations and Peeta exists. He brings his hand back up to the waist top of my underwear and slowly runs it down to the indention of the crease of my most private area. He passes his finger over a sensitive nub towards the beginning that makes me arch right off bed and sit up as he slides his finger the rest of the way down.
Peeta smiles and presses his hand on my belly to lay back down. I return to my elbows, not able to relinquish that much control and also not wanting to lose the view of him doing these things to me. He runs his finger back up and over the sensitive nub again, but stays there. He begins to rub back and forth and side to side, experimenting and watching me. The feeling of his touch starts to merge into one feeling of pleasure that is building and all I know, think, or feel, is that I want more. This is a hunger that far surpasses any need of food or any kiss in a cave or on a beach. My hips lift off the bed to push harder into his finger and I hear myself moan. Peeta briefly sits up, grabs the sides of my underwear, and quickly slides them down my legs and on the the floor to join my shirt.
When he looks back at me, now completely nude and spread wide, he make a deep humming noise in his throat. He lowers himself back down to his previous position and I find that my nervousness has disappeared. All I feel is the desire for Peeta to keep touching me. He lightly traces his finger along my crease again, and on the second pass, dips his finger inside. He finds my sensitive nub again and I moan once more from the delicious feeling of direct contact. He spreads open my folds and begins to rub in circles. I tense and suck in a breath from the onslaught of pleasure. The pleasure keeps building as Peeta keeps rubbing, and I exhale as a moan. I am lost in a forest of sensation and pleasure when I feel his finger slide lower to find my opening. My eyes fly open and I'm about to beg for more when I see that his face his only inches from my flesh and he is opening his mouth. His tongue darts out and licks the underside of my sensitive nub. The texture of his tongue along with it's hot wetness makes me cry out.
His eyes find mine again and smolder when they find me flushed and breathless. Peeta starts to move his tongue against me like he touched me earlier and I sink to the bed completely, collapsing off of my elbows. The pleasure quickly builds like a wave you watch in the distance grow larger and travel towards you. Peeta sucks the nub into his mouth and flicks his tongue across the tip softly. His finger travels lower and finds my wet opening. One finger dips in a little and then slides back out. Then, he dips it in deeper and slides it back out again. Peeta continues until he's sure I'm ok and starts to move his finger in and out of me faster. It doesn't feel uncomfortable. In fact, the light friction of his finger inside of me coupled with the intense feeling of his tongue makes my pleasure crest even faster. Right before I'm swept up by it, I feel my whole body tense and shudder and I hold my breath. Finally, it breaks and I start to writhe in pleasure, twisting and thrusting.
"Peeta!" I yell and moan in exhale, swept up by my own climax. Peeta releases me from his mouth and lazily slides his tongue over me, slows his finger, and looks up to watch me fall apart. I feel the explosions of pleasure that Peeta built ripple through my body as I convulse. When I come back to reality, Peeta has stopped his movements and begins to climb up my body in between my legs. When he gets to my face, he kisses me sweetly and his hips collapse flush in between mine. I taste the tangy flavor of what must be myself in his mouth and he pulls away to meet my eyes.
"I've seen you do a lot of incredible things, things no one else but you is capable of, but that was by far the most amazing thing I've ever seen you do." He says with sincerity.
I feel my cheeks blush to Peeta's words, always saying the things that can affect me the most. He leans down and kisses me again slowly. As we part our lips for a deeper kiss, I feel that he's hard again and its pulsing against my own sex. The slippery wetness that's pooled against me allows him to coat himself and slide easily in the creases of my hot flesh. Our kiss gains heat and we begin to rub ourselves against each other, relishing in the natural and comfortable feeling. Our thrusting picks up and all at once, I pull my hips back and he pulls away which makes the tip of his hardness slide down lower and dip into my entrance.
We both freeze and Peeta pulls away to lock his eyes with mine. We stare at each other for a moment, understanding what this means. As I look into his eyes, I only feel love. Our history of ensuring the protection and survival of one another has accumulated to this moment, the ultimate symbol of trust and unity and there's nothing more I want than to feel him inside me. I push up towards him and he slides inside me farther, but meets a barrier that stops us. Peeta's throat bobs in a gulp.
"Katniss...," he whispers, as if trying to begin a more serious statement. I feel wetness flow through me as a response to him being at my opening.
"Yes, Peeta." I say as a half moan in affirmation and writhe against him in want. "Yes." I whisper again. Peeta trembles for a moment, in realization, then props himself up on his elbows. He trusts forward gently and my barrier holds, stopping him again. Peeta exhales a slow shaky breath that skits across the skin of my breasts. He adjusts himself slightly and I feel more pressure below.
"Katniss, I don't want to hurt you." He says solemnly.
"That's not possible." I tell him, repeating his comforting words. Peeta sucks in a breath and nods. He pushes in again and still my wall holds. Frustrated, I lift my legs up to bend them around him and align my center to him. I wrap my hands around his back and glide them down to his bottom. I widen my legs even more and pull him to me urging him. Peeta exhales forcefully and leans in for a kiss. As our lips meet Peeta thrusts hard and I feel a pop inside of me as he slides the rest of the way in.
I gasp in surprise and Peeta groans. It takes a moment for my body to expand to accommodate him, but it doesn't hurt or feel uncomfortable as I had often heard. Maybe my perception of pain is different from others now, or maybe I love and trust Peeta too much to feel pain from a beautiful moment like this one. The thought of him being inside me in this way is making my insides stir with pleasure. To be so close to him. I hum out a sound of approval and roll my hips up to him. Peeta is tense and shaking slightly with the exertion to control himself.
"You feel so good." He whispers after several big breaths. I look up at him and reach up to capture his lips as I roll my hips up again. Peeta hums low in his throat and gently pulls himself out a little and slowly glides back in. His movement makes warmth spread through my whole body, and when he does it again, he presses against something inside of me that feels incredibly good. I moan and Peeta takes this as a good sign and starts to pick up the pace. Continuously, he hits the same spot inside when he pushes in and I start to make short rhythmic moans to the motion of his body.
We continue for some unknown amount of time and the pleasure keeps building inside of me until I'm not totally in control of myself. I suspect Peeta is feeling the same from the way he is gasping, sighing, and squeezing his eyes shut like he's trying to hold something back.
"More," I plead and then softly moan into a thrust. Peeta groans deeply and hooks his arms under my knees to lift my lower half up to him and he sits up on his knees more. From this position, I'm aligned so that Peeta can enter me deeply and he can hit that spot inside me that feels so good even stronger. Peeta thrusts harder and faster and I hear myself moan with him as I watch his muscles in his arms, chest, and stomach tense and flex as he continuously slams into me, and the ecstasy inside me builds. He starts to tremble harder and his mouth falls open. He releases my legs and falls back on to his elbows stopping his movement.
"No, keep going!" I urge thrusting up against him.
"Katniss, I'm going to lose it again," he says.
"Yes, do it!" I say. I want to feel him lose himself in my body more than anything in that moment. I thrust up again against him wanting desperately to make him lose his composure. Unable to control himself any longer, he crashes into me hard over and over and his his whole body tenses so that every muscle is bulging out visibly. The force of his attack makes me yell out in ecstasy with every motion in and I arch my back.
"Ah! Ah! Katniss!" He shouts and then his eyes squeeze shut and his movements become soft and delicate. I can feel him pulsing inside of me. After a moment, he collapses on top of me utterly breathless and I feel more complete than I ever have. My lower regions are sensitive and throbbing, but I intensely don't want to break my connection with Peeta. Once we regain our breath and Peeta has softened, he props himself up on his elbows and looks at me. My limbs feel like jelly and I feel myself succumbing to my own sleepiness. His eyes are the same as they were before our experience, but now there's a renewed life in them that's I've never seen before. He takes a deep breath and hesitates like he wants to say something. He thinks for a moment and then leans down and kisses me lovingly and then leans back to look at me with renewed confidence.
"You love me, real or not real?"
"Real." I tell him.
