Schroeder…

Schroeder, Schroeder, Schroeder…

Fluffy blonde hair… cute button nose… soft spotless skin… he's not missing anything.

So elegant… So graceful… So disappointing!

Everyone else is ugly, stupid, and irritating, but they are always willing to hang out with me, and with each other. However, the one guy who I can stand is the one guy who never leaves his house or talks to anyone! The quiet one just had to be Schroeder!

All Schroeder is interested in is his piano. Every single day of his life since before he could even walk, he has spent hours on it! HOURS! And he still doesn't do anything else except listen to music, which is so he can learn it on that stupid piano! How do you do that? How do you just sit there pressing buttons all day!? My rival is an inanimate object And it's the basket he put all of his eggs in! He hasn't shown interest in ANYTHING else.

Oh, wait. I almost forgot about baseball. He's the catcher in our neighbourhood baseball team. But like most people on the team, myself included (I'm only on the team because he is!), he's awful at what he does and he only suffers while he's there. Poor, sweet baby.

All in all, if you wanna see Schroeder, you won't be finding him outdoors, you'll be finding him indoors. You've gotta go to him, because he won't come to you. One problem. He'll be on his piano. He'll be in his "zone", and he won't want to talk, and woe betide anyone who tries to do just that.

It's funny. He'll let you be there, but nothing good will come out of talking to him, no matter what you say. I remember when I fell in love with him years ago. I saw him smiling at his first piano, putting his all into getting his piece right, and golly, was he just so cute! I just wanted to smother him with kisses! All the other boys? I just want to smother them full stop, and nothing has changed since. Schroeder is the only person I know who I don't want to throw off a bridge and watch the pool of blood from their smashed skull grow! He's just… too perfect to ruin! I want him unharmed. I want him pure! I want him to love me to pieces! I have only ever treated him with kindness. I have given him every complement in the book, and how does Schroeder respond?

With nothing but insults and growls. Each, and every time.

Sometimes, it gets physical, too! Whenever I'm leaning on that piano, he'll yank it away and send the back of my head to the ground. Once, I was facing him while he did this, so I landed on my chin and broke a tooth. Did he care? Is the sky blue!? He just hates me! It's as if it's hardwired in his brain to hate me! Even though I've never hurt him before in my life!

Well, I've smashed a few Beethoven busts and destroyed one or two pianos, but he's been treating me like garbage even before all that! Every time I go in that house, I leave in some kind of pain. I don't know what he's like with others, but I can only assume he's the same! I suppose I should hate him back! I suppose I should beat him to death and forget all about him!

But I can't even forget about him for a minute, day or night. I'm not kidding, he's absolutely stunning. To declare him my enemy could be a huge opportunity wasted, and then I would have nobody I could be around without the urge to punch a baby (Linus). And so… here I am. Outside his house once again, about to pay him another unwelcome visit. If I can just… form a peace treaty, you know? If only I can convince him to change his mind about me, to love me... I can't begin to imagine how happy I would be if he was as obsessed with me as I am with him!

It won't be so simple getting in this time. I haven't been inside his house in two weeks. His mother would always let me in, thinking Schroeder needs a friend, especially a girl! But she's recently banned me from coming in because I always upset him. Finally, though, after a fortnight of waiting, there's a perfect opportunity for me to try again. Not only did that ol' crow drive off a few minutes ago, but that there kitchen window is as wide open as the hug I'll be greeting Schroedy with!

I clung on to the window's handle and pulled my legs onto the sill. I leaned back and let my weight open her up s'more. I could hear that stupid piano from here, so I didn't bother being quiet, he couldn't hear a howler monkey with a smoke alarm nailed to its foot. After awkwardly squeezing myself in and landing with a metallic thud on the kitchen sink, I began to follow the sound of music. As always, Orpheus was in the living room, facing down on the keys of his little red piano.

Oh, how my heart melts at the sight of him! Two weeks is way too long to go without seeing this. There you are! One glimpse of Schroeder, and the day hasn't been wasted.

Feeling rather romantic, I snuck behind him, creeped up, and greeted him with a biiiiig hug!

He must've known that only I would break into his house and snuggle him.

"L-Lucy!?"

"Who else? Hee hee hee! Did you miss me, my little-"

"GET OFFA ME!"

I was about to caress his jaw, but he shot up and flung his arms out, breaking my cuddle and knocking me to the carpet. He whipped around and saw me, smiling up at him. He glared back. I smiled wider!

"How did you get in here!?"

"If I told you that, you wouldn't make the same happy little accident again!"

"YOUR NOT ALLOWED IN HERE ANYMORE!"

"Wanna go outside, then? My house, maybe?"

"You… UUURRGGHH! What will it take!? What could I possibly do to show you that I wouldn't care if I never saw you again? Is five years of total neglect not enough? Is a ban from my doorstep not enough to show that I HATE you?"

"Hate me? HATE me!? How can you hate me? You've never done anything with me! You have never actually given yourself the opportunity to get to know me, and you've never let me have the chance to show you!"

The muscles in Schroeder's face relaxed just a little. He looked a little bewildered.

"Maybe you'll really like me! Maybe we'll have a lot more in common than you might think! Maybe you'll love me to bits! What if you love me to bits, Schroeder? What if we have a great potential future, where you and I get married, and get a house, and get- "

"Carried away with our 'what if' stories?", he interrupted. Nice to know his beloved sarcasm was still there.

"Hey, you don't know! All that could happen! And aren't you curious? Have you never asked yourself 'Hey, what if I stop pushing Lucy aside all the time and insulting her with every reply, and see if we can actually be great friends?' at any point in your life? I might be the woman of your dreams! I am most certainly willing to be! I'd be the best wife-um-girlfriend ever! Come on! Just give me a chance! Let's do something, why, we could watch T.V. together, or we could play cards, or marbles, or cook something, or anything! Anything! Why do you hate me so much!?"

Just give me one little chance. Please…"

Schroeder crossed his arms and sighed. His droopy eyes looked around; like they do when you're thinking deeply. He's making his decision! 'Better stay quiet and smile innocently while he does. How I wonder what's going on in that perky little head of his. I have to admit, I'm a little anxious.

Then… he looked back at me… and… smiled!

He relaxed his arms at his sides, and approached without breaking eye contact…

… And he gently laid his hands above my waist, and pulled me closer.

There were a ton of things I wanted to do, but I stayed still and let him do what he wanted. This is awesome! This is… URGH! YES! I DID IT!

He moves his arms further behind my back, turning his clutch into a cuddle.

Without any lack of confidence, he closed his eyes, and moved his lips closer. He was half an inch away from a kiss…

And then he violently pushed me away towards the wall, where the very edge of the living room window sill dug into my back. The same sill struck the back of my head as I fell down.

"You wanna know why I hate you so much? Cut out the act, and I'll be more than happy to tell you.

You're a sick, manipulative, selfish little COW! You think I don't know what sort of things you do to everyone else? You are way beyond a common bully; you toy with everyone's anxieties, depression, and obsessions! You deliberately build up trust and dreams just to smash them down! You're perfectly aware of your own brother's mental health issues and you psychologically torture him every day! You leave my best friends MOTIONLESS and BLOODSOAKED on the ground, scarred and injured, and you love every second of it! We wake up crying because of you! You have RUINED my childhood, and everyone else's! The best thing you could ever do is find a way to simply disappear, WITHOUT EVEN LEAVING A STINKING CORPSE BEHIND! I WOULDN'T BURN IT TO KEEP THE HOMELESS WARM!

JUST GET OUT OF MY LIFE!"

There was more disgust, and more fury, in Schroeder's face then there ever was before. I stood back up, and sighed.

"Well… rats. It seems like I'll never convince you to love me."

I looked back at him, and as I did, my face quickly turned back into the beam it was a minute ago.

"In that case, you're gonna have to convince me to hate you!"

Schroeder was shaking with unbridled rage. His clenched fists were a dark red. His gritted teeth looked like they were going to shatter under the pressure of his jaw. He looked like he was ready to squeeze all the blood from my body.

And he has never looked more handsome!

"Why do you even like me? No matter what I do to you, no matter what I say, you keep coming back to me. Why can't you leave me?"

"Y'know, I've always wondered that, too. I mean, you were always cute, but it never ended there. There was always something else that separated you from everyone else. And now? I know.

Oh, everyone around here is so WEAK! They're all just so EASY to torture! You can crush them like little grapes, and then just do it again the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that, and so on!

EVERYONE! Except you. It was only ever you who fought back against me! And boy, you fight back HARD! That anger and fire and toughness and aggression and HATRED! HA HA HA HA HA! IT'S SO GORGEOUS! Oh, here we are, baby! In our true colors!"

"You're crazy!"

"For you!"

"Get. Out."

"Make. Me."

He launched himself at me, with a flurry of kicks to my exposed shins. I grabbed his shirt and forced him down to the floor, his head smacking against the window sill on the way down.

He remained on the floor, but I climbed onto my knees. There was a radiator underneath that sill, and it was burning, so I lifted him up and pressed his face against it. Hard.

He screamed so load, it disoriented me. He had to press his hand on the radiator to force his face away. I tried grabbing him again, but as my hands reached out, he caught them and he bent my fingers as far back as they could go without breaking. Then, square in the nose, he headbutted me.

I fell back, and felt cold fluid filling up in my throat. I managed to pull myself together and swallow it all, and I sat up, sending a river of blood out of my nostrils and onto my dress. I was forced to breath out of my mouth, inside of which I could feel dozens of thick, bloody bubbles.

I licked my lips, which painted my mouth red. I glanced at the man of my dreams, and gave him a smile through crimson teeth. He looked a little stunned, which left him wide open. I gave him a swift kick in the gut, which made him lean forwards in pain, allowing me to reach his face with another kick. I got him in the forehead, ever so close to his eyes, and as he stumbled back a little, I was able to get back on my feet and approach him.

"Aww, would you just look at us!", I said, before I grabbed his incoming fist. "Aren't you getting a rush from this? I bet you are, aren't you?

We do have something in common…"

I let blood build up in my mouth a little, and spat it all over his face. I grabbed his collar, and ruthlessly struck at his ribs, before biting his right hand and cutting deep into his fingers. I then threw him to the floor.

As he lay down on his back, I knelt down beside him, and stole a few kisses. They were bloody and numb, but it was much better than nothing. Schroeder forced his face to one side and away from mine, and started gagging.

I was about to attack again, but before I could, he suddenly threw an incredible punch to my gut. Snarling loudly, He rose up, and he clutched my hair and dragged me to the corner of the room. I saw one of those small, decorative tables, and it was made of metal. He lifted my head up and threw my forehead down at the table's edge.

He lifted me back up with his blood-soaked hands only to fling me down at the table again.

I was dropped onto the floor. He knelt down, and he beat me several more times. He was tired, and they were weak beatings, but they were full of fortitude. That table really did my head in, and I was too vulnerable. He gave me no time to recover. He won.

With that…

he lifted me up…

he carried me outside…

and he lowered me on the porch, hiding me using the outdoor bench.

"Tell anyone what you like", he said. "Just don't come back."

He turned around, went back inside, and locked the door.

I had never felt so much pain before. Not even close.

My body was warm with bruises, and drenched with sweat and blood. Every cut felt so wide open, and every motion burned me with a powerful ache.

It was… more fun than I've ever had. It was amazing. I love him now… more than ever.

Eventually, I got up. I saw the blood on myself, and on the porch, and I washed it away with the hose of theirs. I, for one, won't be leaving evidence about what's happened today. Maybe then, I can do it all over again.

I staggered home, wondering how I could hide all these marks.