Plucking Daisy
Chapter Chunk
Retrospect
It's silent now; completely and totally quiet.
There are no distant screams.
There are no cries for help.
Only the silent rustling of my clothes brushing on the floor as I tremble.
"Daisy," I call out. The sudden shattering of the silence makes me shiver, but it quickly returns. "Daisy," I say again, this time more softly, and then I wait.
She's here, I know she is, I heard her lay next to me, but I don't want to look at her. I'm afraid of what I'll see.
We lay there together in silence for a long while before I finally open my eyes. She's laying on her side facing me, her arms crossed and her lips in a tight line, but this guarded posture isn't exactly what catches my breath in my throat.
It's her eyes. They're wide. Wide with worry and fear. I can see the conflict in her. She's scared of me.
I close my eyes again, tightly, and hold back the emotion that is now thick in my throat. The hatred that is building up, threatening to cut off my breathing at any moment, and sadly, it would be welcomed. This is my punishment.
I open my eyes again and look at her, taking it in. Just when it feels like all my emotion will pour out I catch it in my throat. I hold it there as long as I can, my lungs screaming for air, until I just can't anymore.
"I'm sorry," the words fall from my mouth like vomit, and I suck in a large sob of air before I continue this expulsion of emotion and hatred, "I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for scaring you, for doing this, for starting all of this. I was lonely and I was scared and now I've taken the one thing I love and I just…just…" a sob escapes between my lips before I can catch it. "I'm a monster."
I'm gasping for air now, coughing when I can't get it out quick enough before I try to inhale; choking myself. I pull my hands up to my face and my knees to my chest, letting the sobs rock my whole body as I try to tighten myself out of existence.
Then I feel something warm on my face and open my eyes quickly. She's right here, right in front of me, her hand laying gently on my cheek. I let another sob rock through me as I reach out to her and she pulls me into her arms, my head pressed onto her chest. She runs her fingers through my hair and presses my head to her as if we will become the same person and I just sob.
Her lips are all over me. On my hair, my forehead, my ears, my cheeks, until they finally reach my lips. She kisses me with light little pecks and my sobbing slows to a deep breathing, and she holds me close again, holds me until I fall asleep.
