PROPINQUITY
CHAPTER ELEVEN


Kate paced outside the New York Ledger building the next day, phone in hand, Castle's contact information on the screen. She'd almost called him half a dozen times, but he'd ignored her call the previous day, so she didn't have high hopes that he'd answer. He was probably still mad, but…maybe he'd answer. Maybe he'd be more receptive.

Her call went straight to voicemail. Or not.

"Castle, hey, it's me. I know you're mad, I completely understand. I'm meeting with the reporter in a few minutes. Hopefully I can get to the bottom of this. I just…" She sighed. "I hope you believe me when I say I had nothing to do with the story. I wouldn't...I like you, Rick," she admitted on another sigh. "I would never do that to you." She looked up and saw the receptionist waving her over. "I gotta go. I'll talk to you later, I hope."

"Ms. Beckett? Donna's waiting for you," the receptionist announced, waving her arm towards the bank of elevators on the other side of the lobby. "She's on the twelfth floor."

"Thanks." She slid her phone in her purse and tugged at the hem of her blouse, to give her hands something to do as the elevator ascended. She'd spoken to reporters, of course; her job was essentially working with the media. She'd even worked with this one before. But this time, it was different. This time, it wasn't just her job.

It was personal.

"Kate, hi," Donna greeted her as soon as the doors opened, hand extended. "Good to see you."

"Yeah, you too." Kate followed Donna to her desk and pulled up a chair across from her. "You know why I'm here, right?"

Donna nodded. "I'm not going to tell you my source, Kate. You know that."

"Look, it's not just an article, not this time. I don't want to go after this person. But her medical records were confidential-"

"And details of her medical condition were not disclosed," Donna interrupted. "The article is completely legal, Kate." When Kate opened her mouth to argue, she continued. "And no, it's not slander, or character defamation. It does nothing but make people more empathetic to him. Kid dies in infancy, the resulting divorce, his partying as a coping mechanism? The recent turnaround? The story writes itself."

Kate leaned back in her chair, arms crossed, tempted to argue, but the words wouldn't come. Donna was right; the article, essentially an expose on the tragedy he suffered, wasn't untrue, or negative to him at all. But it also hadn't been authorized. "The fact is," she finally said, "you should have called. You should have come to me to verify the story, to request an interview, something."

"Like you wouldn't run with it too? Come on, Kate. You know that if he'd told you about it that you would have called me in minutes." Donna raised her eyebrows at Kate's silence. "He did tell you. And you didn't publicize it? Why not?"

"Because I promised him I wouldn't." Kate leaned forward again. "He told me in confidence."

"You like him."

"What? No." She scrunched her nose, feigning disgust, but Donna just smirked at her. "As his publicist, it's my job to not only control his public persona and image, but to earn his trust so he'll let me do just that. I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone about his daughter, but then you published your article, and he fired me because he thinks I'm your source. He thinks I betrayed his trust. But if I can tell him who actually did talk to you-"

"Not gonna happen, Kate." Donna stood and started walking towards the elevator, and Kate had no choice but to follow. "I'm sorry, I am. But you're not the only one with a job to do."


Kate almost didn't go to the hospital the following week. Castle still wasn't taking her calls, and Gina and Paula also weren't speaking to her. Not that she could blame them; if the roles were reversed, she'd probably do the same thing.

But it still hurt.

She'd made the arrangements for this photo op weeks before, though. The photographer was a friend, and part of her felt obliged. The other part, the part that remembered what Castle was like during the other visits she'd accompanied him on, wanted to see him. She wanted to watch him with the kids, the parents, even the staff. So she went. She wasn't going to stay, just watch him from the shadows for a few minutes, then leave.

Well, that had been the plan.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Kate winced at the hushed question, the anger bleeding through, and turned to see the object of her thoughts glaring at her from just a few feet away. "Nothing," she replied, turning to face him square on. "I just came to see the kids."

"Bullshit," Castle spat, leaning forward, glancing around. "I told you I didn't want to see you."

"Yeah, well, I didn't come here for you." Kate turned from him, but before she could take a step she felt his hand on her arm, and she was facing him once again. "What do you want, Castle?"

Castle scoffed. "What do I want? I want you gone. I want you out of my life."

"I swear to you, I didn't-"

"Leak the story. Yeah, I heard you the first twelve times." Castle crossed his arms over his chest. "Stop calling me, Beckett. We're done."

Kate opened her mouth to protest, to insist the truth, but his steely glare and set jaw told her that no matter what, he wasn't going to believe her. Any feelings he may have had were gone, outweighed by the betrayal he obviously felt. Nothing she could say would make it better, so she just gave him a small nod, turned on her heel, and left.


She woke the next morning with the sun in her eyes and a splitting headache; groaning, she rolled over to go back to sleep…

And promptly fell on the floor.

What the fuck?

She pushed herself off the ground, and when she looked around she realized she was in her living room. Oh...right…

Kate did drink, but it was mostly social. A drink or two with dinner, the occasional night out with Lanie and other girlfriends. But rarely did she drink emotionally or to cope with something, not after going through what she did with her dad. And never at home, alone.

But she did the previous night, and she was paying for it. One glass of wine while waiting for takeout to arrive had turned into two, and then three, and when the bottle was empty she'd switched to vodka.

She dragged herself to the bathroom, where she managed to get in the shower without being sick, and just stood there for several minutes before grabbing her shampoo.

By the time she finished getting ready and drank a few glasses of water she was starting to feel human again; she grabbed her phone from under the coffee table, where she'd evidently dropped it the night before, and checked for messages, both incoming and outgoing.

She'd always been able to hold her liquor, but the one thing she'd never been able to stop completely was drunk texting. A quick check to her sent messages eased her fears: no drunk texts to Castle. A few to Lanie about him, sure, but none directly to him.

Oh thank God.

The knock on her door came an hour later as she was cleaning up from breakfast and the night before; assuming it was Lanie checking up on her, she didn't bother looking through the peephole. As soon as she opened the door, though, she wished she had.

Castle was standing on the other side, hands in the pockets of well-worn jeans, his hair ruffled and shoulders slumped. He looked at her with sad eyes, his face serious. "Hi," he said, his voice rough. He cleared his throat. "Can we talk?"

Kate crossed her arms, mirroring his pose from the previous day at the hospital. "I thought we were done," she snapped, her voice cold. "I thought you wanted me out of your life."

Castle nodded, his eyes downcast. "I'm sorry for what I said. I was angry, I felt betrayed. Hurt. But it doesn't excuse me, doesn't excuse the fact that I refused to listen to you." He sighed and brought his gaze to meet hers. "It was Gina," he admitted after a long moment. "Gina called the Ledger."

Kate could only blink. "Are you serious?" His own publisher? "How do you know?"

"She told me." Castle shrugged. "After you left the hospital yesterday, I got to thinking. It didn't make sense to me that you'd come if you'd been the one to leak the story. So, I stopped by Black Pawn on my way home. Gina was there, drawing up contract termination papers for you, and she seemed happy. Too happy."

"So what, you just asked her?"

"Pretty much," Castle confirmed with a nod.

They stood in silence for a few long moments, Kate watching him for any sign that he was lying, but she didn't find any. Finally, she took a deep breath. "What happened?"

"I walked out." He shrugged. "She did it to get rid of you. I don't know why, and I don't care. It was immoral and unprofessional, and I'm done working with her. Either they'll get me someone else to work with, or I'm finding a new publisher."

Kate just stared at him for a few long moments, an argument with herself in full swing. She wanted to let him in; she felt the familiar heat in her blood at his proximity, her fingers itching to brush his hair off his forehead and run along his scruff. But, physical lust aside, she hesitated. She understood where he was coming from,but he still shut her out, refused to even listen to her. Ignored her calls.

He could have at least pretended to listen to her side.

"Anyway," Castle continued at her silence, "I just wanted to let you know. I can't even begin to express how sorry I am at how I reacted, how I treated you. I just…" He trailed off with a sigh. "It doesn't matter. I just need you to know that I'm sorry, and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

She watched as he nodded in resignation before turning and walking down the hall. It wasn't until the elevator pinged its arrival at her floor that she made up her mind. "Rick, wait," she called after him, letting the door shut behind her as she followed him. When he turned back to her, one eyebrow lifted in question, she sighed and continued. "Have you eaten breakfast?"


"This is great," Castle complimented her around a mouthful of French toast. "I didn't know you could cook."

Kate smiled into her coffee mug. "It's my job to learn about you, not the other way around." She saw his face fall at her words, and she set her mug on the table with a soft thud. "Well, it was my job, anyway."

Castle leaned forward and held his hand out, but when she just leaned back in her chair, he withdrew his arm. "I'm sorry, Kate. I should have at least let you explain. I was just so mad, so hurt…"

"Rick. It's okay, I get it. Honestly, I probably would have reacted the same way." She shook her head. "I can't believe it was Gina. Why the hell would she do that? Just to get me fired?"

Castle shrugged. "Probably. I know she doesn't like you. She's never been the jealous type, but this…" He shifted the food on his plate with his fork. "Can we not talk about it anymore?"

"Sure," Kate agreed with a nod. "What do you want to talk about instead?"

"Us."

"Us?"

"Yeah. Paula wants me to hire you back. I told her no."

"What? Why would you do that? If you think you don't need a PR consultant anymore-"

"It's not that," Castle interrupted, following her when she took her plate into the kitchen. "Kate." He grabbed her elbow and turned her to face him. "I don't want you to be my PR consultant anymore. I don't want you to work for me."

"No?" Kate took a step back, until she was stopped by the sharp edge of the counter. "So what do you want?"

"You." His hand slid down her arm to grasp her fingers, his thumb brushing across her knuckles. "I want a relationship with you. One that doesn't consist of us sneaking in and out of each other's buildings in the middle of the night. One where you can come with me to a function without using your job as an excuse."

Okay, this was definitely not the Rick Castle that Kate was used to seeing. She was used to the playboy, the man who flirted with any woman he could. Who reminisced openly about his sexual exploits. Until he'd admitted that she'd been the only person he'd slept with since their first time, until he shared about his daughter, she assumed he had no desire to be in a relationship.

But the question was, did she want this? A relationship with Castle? He was definitely different than what the public seemed to see; she did enjoy being with him, had missed him over the previous week. And the sex was off the charts. She liked him...fuck, she really liked him.

She curled her fingers around his and tugged him into her, then let go so she could loop her arms around his neck. "You sure?"

Castle grinned and dusted his lips across hers. "I'm sure."

"Good." She listed into him, their lips meeting again, moaning when his hands found her thighs and lifted her onto the counter. Her hips rolled of their own volition and she pulled off his sweater, hands brushing along his torso. God, she'd missed this. His skin under her hands, his hands and mouth on her, his - oh shit - okay, they needed to get to her a soft surface.

"Rick," she moaned, legs around his waist, ankles locked at the small of his back. "Bedroom."

Castle pulled her into his arms and started walking them down the hall. "Your wish is my command."

"Shit, Kate," Castle breathed, collapsing on his back. "That was amazing."

Kate chuckled from on top of him. "What, you think I'd already shown you all my tricks?" she teased, her chin on his chest. "Not even close."

Castle echoed her chuckle and ran his fingers along her shoulders, and she sighed and settled into his chest. "You sure about this?" he eventually asked, and Kate started against him.

"About what?"

"This. Us."

Kate pushed herself off him and leaned on her elbow so she could see his face. His brows were furrowed, concern lacing his features, and she couldn't help but trace her fingers along the lines on his forehead. "Why wouldn't I be?" she asked after a few long moments.

Castle shrugged a shoulder. "I'm a mess, Kate. You know that. Tragic past, bad reputation, the works. All I need is a leather jacket and motorcycle and you got yourself the stereotypical bad boy image. I'm not exactly the kind of guy you take home to meet Mom."

Kate smiled. "Actually, you're exactly the kind of man my mom would want to meet," she admitted, and when he just stared, she continued. "My mom's kind of a fan."

Castle shifted to his side so they were facing each other. "Oh? And is she the only Beckett who's a fan?"

Kate felt her cheeks flush and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "Shut up," she muttered.

Castle covered her hand with his, then traced it down the line of her body, over her shoulder, her waist, until he reached her hip and squeezed. "Make me."

Kate narrowed her eyes. "Oh, I'll make you all right." She leaned into him, letting him slip his thigh between hers, but when he tried to roll onto her she slipped out of his grasp. She giggled when he just stared at her, gaze following her to her door. "Nuh uh, stay there," she instructed when he started to get out of bed. "I'll be back in a minute."

"Where are you going?"

Kate gave him a slow wink. "To get some ice cubes." His loud groan of oh, fuck followed her all the way to the kitchen.


A/N: I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am so sorry for the wait. I had a major block with this chapter. Thanks to Callie for all of her encouragement, any mistakes are mine, feedback welcome!