The hospital room never changed, no matter how many times Asahi visited it. It still had the same bleak white walls and the same bed was never moved from its spot by the tinted window. The same wooden table held the same glass vase with the fresh bunch of flowers he brought her every week. The room still smelled like disinfectant that stung his nose each time he entered, even if there weren't any tools out to clean.
The only sound besides his breathing was the steady beat of the heart monitor placed beside the hospital bed, the only proof that the girl lying in that bed was still alive at all. Her body was still, her chest barely moving from shallow inhales that were only possible through the tubes around her nose and hanging over her head. She looked peaceful enough, simply lying there with nothing around to bother her. Her face and body were thin from remaining bedridden all this time.
He sat down on a stool by her bed, his hand reaching out to grasp her smaller one that was limp by her side. Every time he made contact, he still felt the guilt, even after three months with slow signs of recovery. She still couldn't wake up, she couldn't eat or even breathe on her own. He couldn't bring himself to face her family, not after what he had done to their daughter.
Asahi let go of the girl's hand after a few moments, sighing out the tears that had become dry after the first month of his visits. There was nothing he could do except wait, but sometimes waiting was the hardest part of it all. As long as she remained, he would still visit her. He had already made that promise to himself some time ago as a personal amend for the wrong he caused.
He stood up slowly, pushing himself up by his knees before he stood and paused at the sound of the door. He wasn't expecting another visitor so early in the morning, not when her mother and father's visits were in the evenings. He turned, the prediction that he would see an older woman in scrubs coming in to give the girl her daily check-up.
What he found instead was a man of short stature and styled hair, his sharp eyes unusually soft and staring right at him. Asahi's grief was suddenly turned into fatigue, the man's body slouched from mental exertion. He wasn't stable enough to deal with him right now.
Nishinoya didn't say anything at first; he simply kept quiet and walked forward two steps until he was a comfortable distance away from his friend. "Asahi," he addressed his name with nothing short of desperation, "I... We need you to come back."
"Nishinoya, please..."
"Aoba Johsai attacked us earlier this week and it doesn't feel right to just sit back and do nothing. I know how you feel about it, but I wouldn't be asking you now if I didn't mean it." He licked his lips, taking one quick breath and holding his arms at his sides. "That fight with Date-"
"Almost cost the life of an innocent girl," Asahi finished with a bite to his words, "I want no part in Karasuno anymore. I don't want to be a murderer and I don't want any more people to die because of something as stupid as false pride." He narrowed his eyes at his former boss. "If Aoba Johsai wants to pick a fight, so be it; but I won't be supporting your decision to go to war. I've spent a year thinking about my career and it's time I quit for good."
Nishinoya looked taken aback, his mouth pulled down in a scowl that matched Asahi's. His hands clenched into fists and he kept his feet still instead of approaching the man. "You coward." He waited for Asahi to talk back and defend himself, to give him something to argue with, but nothing came. "You're not a person who would just turn your back on us- I know you!" He didn't keep his voice down, having no courtesy to remember that they were in a hospital. "I know you, and I know the real Asahi would stand and fight for what was his. Even if he was putting his life on the line, he would still be standing!"
Nishinoya gave up on his self control long enough to make three long strides towards Asahi, gripping his shirt and pulling him forward until their feet were touching. "So don't you dare tell me that you're backing out on Daichi, or me, or anyone else that you've fought beside because it isn't fair to any of us, dammit! We're family and I'll be damned if I let you just walk away like we're nothing to you! I know you hated fighting and it wasn't right for me to push you, just give me the real reason why!" His voice cracked with the last word, tears pricking at the edges of his eyes from all the yelling and anger that had seemed to build up for so long. His body slacked eventually after no direct answer, his hand softening the grip it had on Asahi's shirt before it dropped back down to his side. He looked down at his chest instead, and his glare still remained even after he let go. "Why did you decide to quit on us after so many years?" His question was only a whisper now, Nishinoya not trusting himself with anything louder.
Asahi remained quiet for another minute, the taller staring down at him, though his glower was slipping until there was nothing left but a look of dejection. "If this continues on any longer, there's no telling what could happen. I don't want to see my friends die, Nishinoya." He pulled his own hand away when he attempted to clasp his shoulder, realizing too late that he couldn't comfort him with a simple touch. "I don't want to see you die." He didn't have any more to say, Asahi silently pushing past him and walking towards the door before closing it behind him.
Asahi couldn't sleep that night while his head filled with thoughts of Karasuno and Date. Images flashed behind his eyelids and he would turn to his side and bury his face into his pillow, trying to block out what was poisoning his mind and forcing himself to sleep before he resorted to pills again.
The scene of a busy street was filled with sounds of gunshots coming from every direction, cars suddenly turning and driving away from the war raging in the public area and bystanders screaming for help in buildings and on sidewalks. Men in green suits were hidden behind brick walls as bullets were cutting into cement and flesh by those who were unlucky enough to be caught in the line of sight.
The memory seemed too clear for it to have happened months ago, but Asahi couldn't stop thinking about what he could have done to prevent that fight. Maybe forcing Nishinoya to avoid conflict with one of the Date members before the shootout happened would have been best.
He remembered hiding behind an abandoned car while he held an M16 in his hands. Dachi was to his left but he couldn't see where anyone else was in the mess. He didn't dare stick his body out too far for fear of getting shot.
"Asahi!" It was Dachi, the dark haired man reloading his empty magazine before popping it back in and taking aim at the men in green. "You either shoot or get shot. Get your ass in gear and help before I pop a cap in you myself!" He wasn't angry, the man far too concentrated on the task at hand to give him any looks but his voice said it all.
Asahi straightened up and breathed out slowly, setting his rifle on top of the hood of the car before pulling the trigger. His sight was partially blocked by the angle and the buildings around them, but he managed to catch someone's leg.
He retreated behind the car again when they opened fire, his head barely dodging the bullet that came in his direction before he settled back against the tire. He waited until the shots quieted down on his side before he sat up and fired again without properly seeing his target. He was simply aiming in the general direction of his enemies, but he ceased fire when he got a full view of what he hit.
One of his bullets went into a nearby shop window, the scream of a woman ringing out from the building like an alarm. It seemed to startle everyone in the fight, including the members of Date. They were already down two men and they took that opportunity to scramble out of their hiding spot and take off in their own cars that were damaged from the shootout.
The rest from Karasuno were barely getting to their feet when Suga came to Asahi's side, trying to pull him away so they could leave before the police arrived. He shook him off, Asahi running into the shop to confirm his suspicion and finding the unconscious body of a girl in her mother's arms, the people inside yelling and backing away while the supposed father stood in between Asahi and his family. "Don't come any closer!"
He didn't, the man standing just a few feet away and looking down at the girl who's brown hair and face were blotched in red from her wound. She was bleeding out just behind her left ear, the other side of her face tucked into her mother's chest. She was still and Asahi feared the worst, hoping that someone had called an ambulance that would make it there in time.
People outside were calling for him, Tanaka yelling from the inside of his truck before Dachi came in and pulled him out. He nearly threw him into the back of the truck when Tanaka started the vehicle, all of them leaving the scene of the crime in silence.
He remembered when Nishinoya yelled at him when they got back to the warehouse, the shorter man questioning his actions and storming into his office when he found that their one-sided argument wasn't getting any answers from him. No one spoke to Asahi for the remainder of the day and he eventually went home early and never came back.
He never saw any of the members for that first month until Suga had bothered to break in and question the brown-haired man in secret, but he never pushed him for answers and only offered his condolences before leaving him alone. In the end, he never gave any of them a real answer, but Nishinoya was the most persistent and he couldn't just ignore the thorn in his side forever.
He was glad to have finally faced his ex-boss in person, if only to explain himself, but it didn't seem right. He couldn't just remain a coward forever and pretend that he could fix the past by disregarding his mistakes and sweeping it under the carpet. Buying flowers for a girl who couldn't even be awake to see them was a waste of his time and it wasn't doing anything to ease his conscience.
In a fit of frustration, Asahi turned to his side and reached for the bottle of pills that were placed on his night stand, unscrewing the top and swallowing two pills without water. He knew he gave in again, but he was too weak to handle his thoughts alone in the dark. He kept running from his past, never owning up to his actions and drowning in his self pity.
"I don't want to see my friends die, Nishinoya." The words rang in his head as he laid back down, pulling the sheets all the way up to his neck and squeezing his eyes shut. "Aoba Johsai attacked us..."
"I don't care." Asahi mumbled to himself, curling his hands into his pillow and shutting out the noises of cars outside his window.
"I don't want to see you die."
Hinata waited outside of his dorm room with his phone in his hands, his thumbs texting away at the screen as he leaned against the wall. His backpack was left in his room since he didn't need it after his classes were finished and he didn't need to show up to the warehouse today, so he decided to wait outside in the hall for his new neighbor to show.
Kageyama's name was already inserted in the slot on the door, making his move in official. Hinata was lucky enough to have his old classmate move out just a few weeks before, giving Kageyama the chance to live in his very own dorm room for the rest of his college years.
He heard shuffling from down the hall and he pocketed his phone when Kageyama appeared with two boxes stacked in his arms, his head barely visible behind the load. "Hey," Hinata pushed himself from the wall at the word, moving towards him to help take the bigger box from his hands.
After a moment of struggling, Kageyama finally dug out his key from his pocket and swung the door open, the two of them setting the boxes down on his new bed. Hinata sighed after dropping it, sending Kageyama a look. "What the hell do you have in there? It's heavy."
Kageyama closed the door and locked it, the action making Hinata suspicious. The taller man reached to open his box and he took out the books and clothes that he had stored, as well as several wads of cash that were underneath the rest of his things.
Hinata gawked, leaning his head down to see the amount of money that Kageyama had put in with the rest of his belongings. "Where did you get all that money from? Don't tell me you robbed someone?"
"Idiot," Kageyama stuffed the cash inside one of his jackets, hiding some of the money in the inner breast pocket. "I saved up my pay in case something like this happened. It'll help keep me fed for awhile and I don't have to worry about going broke until I get promoted in Karasuno."
Hinata continued to stare until he crossed his arms and sat down on his bed, sighing. "And here I thought you were going to be completely helpless with no place to stay. Must be nice to be rich and secure all the time."
The other only made a noise of aknowledgment before he folded his clothes on his bed and hid all of his cash away safely. "When you live on the streets long enough, you learn to hate it after a while."
The shorter student paused after his comment, deciding that his question should be saved for another day. More importantly... "What's in here?" Hinata opened the flaps on the box he was carrying earlier, peering inside and grasping something cold and metal before he retracted his hands and pushed the box away in surprise. "How did you sneak that in?! You're going to get in so much trouble!"
Kageyama pulled the box towards him and glared, reaching in and pulling out a few pieces of a rifle that had been taken apart, his fingers curling around them protectively. "They don't check you for weapons on campus, dumbass. That's why you can carry your bombs on you, right?" He watched as Hinata flickered his eyes down to his own shirt for a moment before his cheeks colored from being found out. "And don't touch my things without my permission, especially this."
"What, is it your girlfriend, or something?"
"It's my gun and I don't want you touching it!" Kageyama held the parts to his chest and took the rest of the pieces out, spreading them on his bed and putting it back together again. He took special care by locking the places in gently, making sure it wasn't damaged or scratched from the trip to his dorm.
Kageyama saw the curious look Hinata was giving him and he loaded the full magazine in before tucking the gun under his bed for safe keeping. "It's an SR-15, meaning it's a semi-automatic sniper rifle. It was my very first gun given to me and I don't feel comfortable with other people getting their hands on it."
Hinata waved off his explanation and leaned back on his hands, the bomber tempted to lay completely back and stay there until his colleague in crime kicked him out. "So you have a boner for guns, that's cool."
The raven's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to protest. "I don't-"
"Your heart races and you have this rush of excitement that you can't dull until you get what you want, and even then that isn't enough sometimes. Your hands shake and you feel light-headed just thinking about firing that round of ammo or polishing your rifle. You're like a weapon junky, or something like that." Hinata smiled wide and gave him a shrug. "I'm the same way with bombs, okay?"
His confession made Kageyama relax just enough for him to give a shallow nod in agreement, his eyes looking down at his pile of clothes he left on his bed. He turned to look at him when a hand was presented, Hinata seeming nonchalant about it.
"At least we have something in common now. I want to work together with you and the rest of Karasuno, regardless of what happened in the past." His eyes gave no indication of anything false, his tone even and bright with honesty. The purity of his expression was too blinding for Kageyama to ignore, and he hoped that this wasn't just some trap for the student to lure him into a regretful truce. "Let's be friends."
