Second Installment

2 weeks later:

Sitting there, lounging on the couch, bourbon in hand, Kurt couldn't stand listening to another minute of daytime television. He's been back in New York for two days and cannot stomach the idea of sitting around his apartment.

After he left the hospital that night, he proceeded to the office to give his statement to Internal Affairs. He was in and out in under two hours, which was a record for him. From there he caught a flight out to Portland to visit Sarah and Sawyer. They- well, Sarah- had been stunned to silence when they saw him on their doorstep that evening. Sawyer squealed with delight when his uncle walked through the door. That just made Kurt's heart clench with pain. The thought of wanting that each night to come home to coursing through his veins. Kurt rushed in to chase after Sawyer, not that he had to go far. Sawyer ran to jump into his arms. It was a healing and heartbreaking moment.

He spent hours playing games and goofing off with Sawyer. Sarah even let Sawyer play hooky from school one day so that he and Kurt could spend the day together wandering around Portland.

It was moments like these where Kurt wishes that he had a normal nine to five job. One where he could actually schedule vacations and trips, instead of spontaneous ones.

Even the night times were better than being alone. Sarah was good company when he needed a distraction, that is once she pried the information she wanted first.

After a couple nights there, once Sawyer had reluctantly succumb to sleep, Sarah handed Kurt a beer. "Kurt…" She tentatively started, "Do I need to be worried that you're here?" Her voice on edge.

Kurt flopped down onto the couch, processing her question. After a few swigs of beer, he looked across at Sarah who had grabbed a seat. "Depends." He shrugged.

Her mouth, slightly agape.

"I was at the hospital after a mission and-"

"Hospital?" Sarah's voice hitched as she interrupted him.

"I'm fine. It wasn't for me directly." His hands fidgeting with the bottle in his hands. "But I thought that it was time to take some time off. Naz agreed with me, so I caught a flight."

Sarah just stared at him, eyes squinting at him. "What aren't you telling me? Did something happen with Jane?"

Kurt just shook his head, sinking deeper into the couch. He drained his beer and placed the empty bottle on the coffee table between them. He tilted his head back at the rush of emotions that were trying to crawl out.

A couple of minutes had passed, with his hands roughly rubbing his face when Sarah finally snapped. "Stop being so stoic, let it out and let me in, Kurt."

His fists clenched by his side. "Allie was pregnant."

The silence was deafening to Kurt's ears. It was the first time he vocalized those statements. The life that it could have been but was cut too short. All wrapped in one loaded statement. Constant silence surrounded him, to the point where he swears his ears were ringing a deafening tone. Allie was pregnant. The words replayed in his head, he felt pricks in his eyes are tears started to collect. He felt the couch sag under the pressure of Sarah moving next to him. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it without saying anything.

Tears started to seep out from under his eyelids. "'Kurt…" Sarah started, "What happened?"

"She was insistent in coming out into the field even though she was aware of the pregnancy. She knew the risks, but she went anyways." His breathing was ragged, but he continued. "She was partnered with Jane in the stairwell as Naz and I went up in the elevator." His voice caught and only proceeded when he felt Sarah's thumb stroking the back of his hand. "Naz and I were exchanging fire with some adversaries upstairs, when there were two in the stairwell. I don't know exactly what happened in the stairwell. But Allie was shot, twice. One was blocked by the vest, but the other slipped under the vest into her abdomen. I didn't stay at the office to find out more about the incident, at that point I knew that she had lost the baby, and I needed to get out."

"Kurt, I'm so sorry." Sarah expressed, the hands gripping his one.

"The surgeon informed me that she lost the baby. There was too much internal damage and blood loss for it to survive. No matter how quickly the response, it was unlikely to survive." His voice started to sound robotic, detached from his body, personality, and person.

"How is she doing?" Sarah inquired.

Kurt's body completely tensed. "She's fine, I guess."

Sarah sense the tension rolling off of his body, she broke the contact and meandered into the kitchen, grabbing the scotch and two glasses. Bringing the items back over to the coffee table, she rested them in front of Kurt. "I know that you need this."

She watched as he grabbed the bottle without hesitation and poured them each a glass. She didn't even reach for hers before he had slugged back his share.

They sat in amicable silence for who knows how long. The bottle was about halfway gone, thanks to Kurt, when Sarah became brazen. "Maybe it happened for a reason, maybe it wasn't meant to be."

Kurt's arm, which was lifting his 4th glass to his mouth, froze. Next thing she knew, it was shattered against the coffee table, his booming voice carrying through the apartment, "How could you say that?!"

She flinched at the volume and tone. Shocked by the intensity. But she didn't back down. "I know that this is something that you wanted, and have wanted for a long time. But maybe this happened because it wasn't... " her voice started to trail off, but when he was looking at her expectantly, she meekly finished. "...because it wasn't with the right person."

He just stared at her, his face contorting as the information pieced together and processed.

"I'm just saying, I've seen you and Allie together. Yes, you two get along and have fun. But compare that to the chemistry I see between you and Jane…" The fierceness in her eyes daring him to challenge her. "I've seen the way that you look at her, the fondness on your face, the concern that oozes out of you when she's in harm's way. If it was Jane in the hospital right now, you would not be here. So my opinions still stand, maybe it is a good thing."

After her diatribe, Kurt stood, turned and walked to the spare room in her apartment, slamming the door to erect that physical barrier between them.

Sarah lingered on the couch. She knew that he was hurting. She knew that she was essentially kicking a person while they were already down. But she felt as though her brother needed to hear that, maybe it would help him open his eyes.

After she cleaned the living room of all the empties and broken glass, she crashed into bed. Noticing her phone on the nightstand. She reached for it and scrolled through her contacts. She had yet to actually use this number, but she felt as though someone needed to reach out. She knew the team was having trouble with coping with whatever resulted after the Jane isn't Taylor debacle. Pulling up Jane's number, she wrote: I hope that you are okay after today. If you need someone to talk to, I'm just a call away. Satisfied with the message, she sent it, then closed out her lights to fall asleep.

Now Kurt was at his apartment, day drinking and attempting to find something to keep his mind preoccupied. Without much success. His mind kept going between the baby, Jane, and the idea of a family. Maybe Sarah was right, he thought. Shaking his head to wipe that thought away. He got off the couch and strode into the bathroom. It was time to get back to the office.

After making himself presentable, with a freshly pressed suit, he left his apartment and took his normal route to the office.

The feeling of peace starting to seep into him and calm his muscles as he stepped off the elevator into the bullpen. He stood there, observing the chaotic hustle and bustle of the FBI New York Office. People milling about, talking on the phone, delivering files, consulting on cases. This is where he belonged right now. This is where he can find serenity. He took a deep breath and started on his trek to find Naz and his team.

After walking through the offices for twenty minutes, he found them huddled around a computer screen in Patterson's domain. He stood back listening to Patterson give information off on what sounded like a new tattoo case.

"There's no explicit tattoo for that though. This circle on her back, is an old symbol that represents a calendar. There's no direct indication of the date of occurrence, but it could be hidden like the ultraviolet light tattoo on her face when she went into the screening room for the CDC."

"So how do we figure this out then, if we don't have an exact date? We need to know when that drop is going to happen." Zapata stressed.

"The techs and I are going through a series of lighting techniques to see if we can figure it out. I'm sorry, but that's the best we can do under the circumstances."

"That's-" Naz started to speak, but was interrupted.

"Under what circumstances?" Kurt's voice filled the lab, catching everyone off guard. His posture becoming tense as he looks from one member to another and suddenly realizing who isn't there. His fists clenching at his sides, as his heart was slowly cracking with the realization.

Naz stepped forward, "Let's go into your office and talk." She continued forward, meeting his piercing gaze with one of her own.

"Where is she?" His voice as tense as his body. His eyes meeting his team with the same piercing gaze.

"We don't know exactly." Patterson stated, her head tilted down.

A/N: I hope you all liked this second one. I know it was a wee bit emotional. Let me know what you think. :)