Sherlock. Emotionless. Non-human. High functioning sociopath.
Clearly, if you didn't know him, you would think that this is all he was- an emotionless, non-human lunatic.
But if you got close to him- well, he was still that but a bit less-so. A bit less emotionless, still pretty non-human, and yes, still a lunatic.
Every time something terrible, catastrophic, or heart-wrenching happened, Sherlock would take it all in his stride.
But unknown to everyone else, Molly, Mrs Hudson, even John, each of these events felt like a knife cutting ever deeper into his heart. The great Sherlock Holmes was not totally emotionless, despite what the world thinks.
Sometimes it might show in the tiniest of things; playing a jaunty tune on the violin a bit slower than normal, hesitating before grabbing a chemical on an experiment on eyes and what-not, or acting in ways that John passed off as boredom.
I don't understand. He's dead.
It felt like someone had put me between two blocks and was pushing. I couldn't breathe from the pressure on my chest, pressing me down to the ground, trying with all it's might to break me.
I could feel the tears pricking the back of my eyes, but they wouldn't fall. No, they wouldn't even well up.
I'm sorry, they had said. We can't save him- then I'd cut the doctor off and run to him. He was dying, and there was nothing anyone could do- nothing I could do- to save him.
"John," I said, despair swallowing me, "I swear that if you die-"
I broke off. I couldn't say it. For once I was lost for words.
"Sherlock," he said weakly. "I think you already know what I'm going to say- bloody hell, you've probably known it since day one- but I'm going to say it anyways.
"I love you."
He'd died within the hour, leaving me alone.
Rushing like a train, my mind conjured thoughts.
What's wrong with me? The only one I've ever loved- truly loved- has just died and I'm not crying. Am I so screwed up that I can't even shed a tear for John?
*Stares* Wow, I didn't think this would go this far... XD
