Dimitri sat perfectly still in his desk chair as my words hung in the air.

"About…us?" He asked cautiously.

"Yes." I stated, sneaking another glance at him, "Specifically about how I used to feel…towards you."

It was almost like Dimitri had turned into a statue.

"Feelings." He stated flatly, "Towards me."

"Yes. Old feelings, though." I blurted out. Good God, I was digging myself a hole, "Not current feelings. I feel nothing towards you, just to be clear."

Dimitri's eyebrows raised, "Nothing?"

"Well, aside from anger towards that macho bullshit you pulled earlier, nothing." I made a face after I realized what I had said and looked at him apologetically, "Sorry. You just…really pissed me off earlier."

Dimitri opened his mouth to speak, but I held up my hand, "I mean, you were right about the protocol we had set up, but you just really went about it the wrong way. I thought we were beyond that."

"I know." Dimitri sighed, "I should not have said what I did to you, but Rose, you have to understand…it is difficult for me. To see you with him."

This time I became the statue.

"I meant what I've said before. I am happy you are happy. You deserve to be happy, especially after…everything that I put you through in Siberia. I felt so guilty, Rose. I felt so horrible after all I had done."

"Why wouldn't you talk to me?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper, "You never talked to me after Lissa…you shut me out. After you had promised to never keep anything from me again."

"I watched you jump off a bridge, Rose!" Dimitri yelled.

I jumped at the sudden loudness of his voice. He hadn't yelled out of anger. At least, it wasn't anger directed towards me.

"You would have rather died—taken your own life—than to let me turn you. Than to be with what I had become. When Vasilissa saved me…the weight of what I had done…what I had forced you to do…"

I listened to him struggle to formulate his words, my heart breaking—but not breaking at the same time. I felt sadness, loss, indifference all at once…it was almost as my emotions were waging a war within me. Remembering everything I had experienced in Siberia. Remembering how I had felt, but then feeling nothing as I remembered.

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts as Dimitri continued.

"You have no idea how much it hurt me to see you still looking at me with…hope. Like there was still redemption out there for me after everything I had done. It was too much, Rose. It hurt less to shut you out. To push you away. There was so much sadness and despair…I truly thought that I would only be able to feel those feelings the rest of my life—would be consumed by them forever. That I no longer had the capacity to love you or anyone else."

A single tear fell down the right side of my face and Dimitri slowly moved his hand up to wipe it away.

"But on the night of the Guardian Ball, I realized that I was wrong."

The room was painfully quiet, but I could hear a roaring in my ears.

That was the night I had told Adrian that I loved him. And Dimitri had overheard.

And…realized that he still loved me?

Suddenly, it felt like fireworks were going off in my brain.

I screamed, clutching my hands to my temples as I fell forward and off the bed. I felt Dimitri grab a hold of me, slowly lowering my down to the floor as he crouched, breaking my fall.

I heard him repeat my name, but he sounded so far away. There was movement at the door of his room, and three blurry figures rushed into the room. I frantically looked around, panicking when my eyes failed to focus on my surroundings.

Suddenly a different set of hands gripped me and a difference voice was calling out my name.

Adrian.

"Rose? Rose. I need you to look at me, Rose. Look into my eyes."

I looked at the blurry outline of his face and slowly his features came into focus. His piercing green eyes came into focus and they instantly filled with relief.

"What is wrong with me?" I whispered, tears freely flowing from my eyes. I found that I couldn't move my arms or my legs. The only reason I wasn't on the floor was because Adrian and Dimitri were currently propping me up.

"Something I should have never agreed to." He whispered back, his voice filled with pain.

He leaned down, pressing his lips against my forehead before he whispered, "Sti."

My world instantly went black.


Author's Note: Sorry for the short chapter, but this just seemed like the place to end it. What, oh what, will happen once Rose wakes up...