The next morning, Rae was struggling to keep her eyes open as she tied a pale purple ribbon in Nikki's hair before pushing her own hair into a messy bun. She pulled on a black long sleeve shirt she had borrowed from Mandy before slipping on the same worn out pair of black skinny jeans that she'd been wearing for the last week.

"What's a nu-er-al?" Nikki sounded out, looking at her sister with wary eyes.
"Funeral," Rae corrected half-heartedly, her voice thick and raspy. She knelt down and placed a kiss on the top of the toddler's head. Mandy looked up from her perch in front of the mirror, catching the exhausted tone in her friend's voice. "It's where people say goodbye to someone for the last time."
"Okay," Nikki nodded. She seemed to sense her sister wasn't in the mood for questions.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Mandy asked softly, watching as Rae slipped a thick coat around Nikki's body. Rae said nothing, just simply bobbed her head.
"It's not like I can just skip it," Rae muttered, silently admitting that the thought had crossed her mind. She wasn't a funeral person – funerals made her hate life just a little bit more. She knew if she didn't show up, she'd be giving her mother one more thing to use against her.
"Mickey said he'll come. You know, in case shit turns south again," Mandy said, offering a sympathetic smile that Rae didn't see. Rae bobbed her head again, looking at her youngest sister with a half-hearted smile. She pulled the little girl in for a tight hug, her heart heavy in her chest.
"Once this is over, I'm going to get so damn drunk I forget anyone ever existed," she muttered to herself. Debbie had already agreed to take Nikki overnight for Rae so she could have a night to get herself together. She made a mental note to thank Fiona a million times for letting her sister sit for her. Rae knew how Fiona felt about Debbie watching kids overnight, but she also knew Fiona had a heart of gold, despite her badass demeanor.

Mandy watched her friend finish getting ready quietly. She was worried. She'd never seen Rae look so awful, so pale and broken before. Even when they were kids and Rae was trying to keep all the little ones safe, she never looked so damn worn out. Mandy worried that her friend might finally be breaking under the pressure of everything that had happened.

Once the three girls were dressed, they made their way into the living room, where they found Mickey fumbling with a tie. Without saying anything, Rae walked up to him and tied it for him with ease. Mickey muttered something incoherent under his breath, but Rae paid him no mind.

She shoved Nikki out of the front door, towards the van. Mickey and Mandy would take the beater, since they better than to try and say anything to Rae when she was in a mood. Once the pair were safely in the car, Mandy turned to Mickey with troubled eyes.

"She's going to snap," she said, her voice steady though her hands balled into fists. "I've never seen her like this before."
"I know," Mickey grumbled, thumbing at his lip, a habit that annoyed the hell out of his younger sister. "I still don't get how we got mixed up in all her shit."
"She's practically family, Mick," Mandy reminded him coldly. Sometimes Mickey really got under her skin. "Besides, it's not like you had shit else to do today."

Mickey couldn't argue with that. He'd have just spent the day drinking himself numb if he wasn't playing security at Rae's kid sister's damn funeral.

They approached the church a little while later, not the least bit surprised to see Rae standing alone near the bushes, Nikki locked her in arms, a cigarette dangling from her lips. Once parked, they joined her, both remaining silent as Rae looked back towards the church.

"I didn't even know we knew this many people," she scoffed as she motioned towards the crowd of people walking into the church, all clad in black and grey clothing. "I swear, half of Chicago showed up."
"Maybe that's a good thing?" Mandy offered helplessly. She could see the conflict in Rae's eyes. "C'mon."

Rae followed Mandy into the church, Nikki still locked in her arms as they made their way down the crowded aisle, towards the front of the church where Lizzy's closest friends and family were seated. Rae felt eyes on her as she passed her mother without saying a single word to her.

"Why is she here?" she heard someone hiss bitterly. Rae turned in time to see Beth glaring at her, her eyes showing nothing but hate. Rae felt her insides churn as she sat down next to Mandy, only the slightest bit aware when Mickey sat down next to her, scrubbing his face with his hands.

Rae stared towards the front as the funeral direction read something from the note cards in front of him, not at all taking in anything he had said. What seemed like an eternity later, he invited family and friends to speak.

Rae sat silently while her siblings began filing towards the pedestal, one at a time, each with red rimmed eyes. They shared happy memories of Lizzy. How her smile could light up a room, how she would give the shirt off her back to a perfect stranger, how her laugh was like able to cheer even the angriest person up. As each sibling said their goodbyes, Rae started to rise, but Melody rose faster, shooting a bitter glare at her oldest daughter.

"My sweet, sweet Elizabeth, from the moment she was laid in my arms, I knew she was special. All of my littles were special, but Elizabeth…Elizabeth was the perfect child. She was strong and smart and beautiful in ways words cannot describe. Despite everything she went through, she always wore a smile, always saw the good in people and in life. It truly is a shame, that the one person who was supposed to be protecting her, looking out for her, keeping her safe, wasn't there when she needed her to be most," her mother rattled off, her voice sending waves of nausea through Rae's stomach. "My biggest regret is having trusted my oldest daughter to keep Elizabeth safe," Melody continued. Rae felt her stomach turn to a brick of ice. Without warning, she pushed Nikki into Mandy's lap, her hand clamped over her mouth as she shoved Mickey out of the way. She didn't pay attention to the startled gasped and angry whispers that followed her as she ran from the church, only narrowly making it to the bushes in time to discard what little was in her stomach. The icy breeze eased the heat that rushed to her face as bitter tears rolled down her cheeks, her shoulders heaving as another wave hit her. Moments later, she felt a hand on the small of her back, causing her to stumble forward.

"Whoa, hey," a soft voice soothed. Rae turned slightly, her vision blurry. Her eyes traced the face only inches from hers and after a few desperate moments, she realized it was Lip. "You okay?" Rae shook her head, not trusting herself to talk. She didn't know any of the Gallagher's were coming to the funeral, but it shouldn't have surprised her considering Debbie was picking Nikki up straight after the service.

Lip gently led Rae towards the bench a few feet away before shrugging off the jacket he was wearing, pulling it loosely around Rae's thin frame. He had to admit, she looked like absolute shit. He hesitated for a moment, before reaching around to the pocket of the jacket, retrieving a flask from within.

"Drink?" he offered softly. Rae nodded gratefully and took a long sip, letting the warm, bitter liquid burn away the sour taste in her mouth. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice gentle, almost as if he were talking to a wounded animal.
"For what?" Rae asked, her voice thick, raspy, like she hadn't had a sip of water in months. "What the fuck are you sorry for?"

Lip didn't know how to respond. Just as he was trying to find words, he saw Mickey approaching, a disgusted look on his face.

"Your mother is a fucking cunt," he grumbled as he sat down next to Rae, his hands quickly scrubbing at his face. He spared a glance at Lip but didn't really acknowledge him. Mickey couldn't stand Ian's pretentious prick of an older brother. "You good?"
"Nope," Rae deadpanned, her eyes glistening against the pale sunlight. "Not even a little."
"Want to get out of here?" Mickey offered. Lip was about to object, but decided against it. He cleared his throat, his hand lingering on Rae's shoulder.
"Could always cool off at my place," he offered, giving Mickey a reassuring look that he could come too, since he felt the need to play bodyguard.
"No," Rae said softly. She snatched the flask back from Lip without thinking and took a long sip, letting the liquid give her the courage she needed to walk back into that church. As the numb began to wash over her, she tossed Lip his jacket back before storming back into the church, her hands curled into fists.

"Fucking aye," Mickey groaned as he rushed after her, not sure if she was going to do something stupid. He froze when he saw Rae make her way towards the pedestal, Nikki now hitched recklessly on her hip. Mandy shot him a worried look, but Mickey wasn't sure what he could do at that point.

"Lizzy was my rock," Rae said, her voice even raspier than before. "Lizzy, she could come up with a plan on a whim and run with it. She was brave and brilliant and a hell of a lot nicer than anyone else I know," she continued, her eyes settling on her mother who was pretending to cry on Mitch's shoulders. "When Melody abandoned us for the last time, dropping this beautiful, bright little girl in my lap, Lizzy was right there to help me figure out how the hell we were going to raise a newborn in our crazy, chaotic world," she hugged Nikki closer to her body. "Lizzy was forgiving to a fault. She'd forgive anyone who ever did her wrong and that is why we're saying goodbye today. We're saying goodbye because instead of Melody keeping her fucking kids safe, instead of leaving the bastard who hurt her precious littles time and time again, she left us to pick up the pieces and Lizzy, being Lizzy, give him another chance to do just that. I gave up everything to keep these kids safe, every single last one of them. But instead of thanking me, Melody blamed me for something I had zero control over. Lizzy, I loved you from the moment Melody dropped you in my lap, but god help me, you were too fucking soft for this fucked up world. I can only hope you're able to rain some sunshine down on this godforsaken place from wherever the hell you are now."

Rae's eyes filled with tears as she scanned the faces of her siblings one at a time, before stepping down, walking right up to Melody, her face grim.

"Nikola is you're youngest, remember? The tiny baby you left at a fucking truck stop?" she growled, kneeling down so she was level with her mother's face. Mickey tensed, not sure if things were about to turn ugly. "Time to step up, mommy dearest. They're all your problem now."

Without another word, Rae dropped Nikki into Melody's lap, a broken expression on her face. Mandy gasped from where she sat, her hand flying to her mouth. Nikki let out a shrill cry, her hands gripping at Rae's shirt. Rae pulled away roughly, her face paler than Mandy had ever seen before. Mickey thumbed his lip, staring at Rae awkwardly. He knew how much she loved that kid. He couldn't wrap his head around why he just watched her hand the baby off like she meant nothing to her. When Rae rose, he could see her hands trembling as she rushed down the aisle, pushing past him bitterly, sending his back against the wall. All eyes were wide as everyone witnessed what had just happened. No one said anything, no one made a move. Except one person. One person had been able to break from their daze and follow after Rae, just in time to see her break into a sprint in the general direction of the nearest bar.