Four months pass. Four. Freaking. Months.
It takes me a few weeks to come to terms with what happened. At first, I was elated. Then reality set in. I go through all the stages. Shock, denial, anger, bargaining with the universe to tell me it was all in my head, and finally acceptance. About a month and a half after I meet the Doctor, I finally start to settle down. I don't know what to think or feel about what is likely to happen to me though. A part of me thinks that nothing will ever come of it. But most of me thinks something is definitely going to happen.
Since I have no idea what this flickering thing is, how or why it starts, or when, I try to keep myself prepared. I have a navy blue backpack (Couldn't find TARDIS blue sadly) that I've filled with emergency supplies, even a spare fully charged phone. I sleep with the bag. Not even exaggerating. If I get swished off into another universe in the middle of the night, I wanna be prepared! I keep it slung over my shoulder when I'm out, and I get some questions sometimes about why I refuse to put it down.
Four months. It's been four, and I've nearly stopped counting. Maybe nothing really will happen. That's what I started to think last month. What if it doesn't happen for years? Or at all? I've continued my life. Sort of. It's difficult.
I met a guy a while ago. He asked me out recently, but I've stalled him. The thing is...I don't know what's gonna happen. What if I get closer to him and fall in love and end up away for weeks or longer in that other universe? Then he'll be abandoned by me and I'll feel terrible. I can't do that to him or myself. So I've been keeping my distance. I don't have it in me to reject him completely though, which makes me feel terrible. Like I'm keeping him dangling on a string for me. I really think I could fall for this guy. He's so kind, so sweet and smart and caring and normal. Yeah, I know he's no Doctor, but I'm not in love with the Doctor. I'm infatuated with the Doctor as in he's absolutely my hero, but I don't feel that way about him. It's like Rose said, he's better than that. He's beyond that. I don't need to stick him under a romantic relationship with me to love(platonically) and appreciate him.
In any event, I continue on, trying to stall my life where I can, but move it along when possible. I start to think nothing will ever happen. I start to wonder if maybe putting things off is a mistake on my part. How long should I put my life on hold for the Doctor? I won't become an Amy Pond and wait my life away for him, becoming mentally unstable. Maybe I would have, had I met him as a child like she did. Don't get me wrong, I sympathize with her. She was a victim in that sense, but I'm an adult and am not gonna let that happen to me.
One particular night, the last thing on my mind is the Doctor. Lately he's just not the most present thing for me. He's slowly drifting away from me. Given a couple more months and he'll barely be on my radar. Like a dream that maybe wasn't as real as I once swore it to be.
I finish a wonderfully warm steam shower and change into my oversized powder blue nearly knee long night shirt that says,"I know Karate, & 37 other dangerous words!" across the front. I brush out my hair, pull on some matching light blue socks and climb into bed. The backpack is off to the side, half forgotten. I text a few people on my phone, and read a bit online before setting it on my nightstand, turning out the light, and sinking down into my comfy bed covers. Nothing feels much better to me, well not more comforting, than being snuggled down in a warm bed after a nice shower, tucked away under the covers on a cold night. I don't think I'm the only one who feels nice and safe and happy like this. Maybe it dates back to the days of being an infant swaddled up in a blanket, and a child, tucked in by my mom, but whatever the reason, it's a very safe and relaxed feeling. It makes drifting off to sleep that much easier.
"Wake up, Kitten."
A voice is in my ear, whispering to me in a very alluring way. Nobody has ever called me that name before though. I try to place the voice, but fail in this context. My eyes pop open. I find myself staring into the face of someone who shouldn't exist. The problem is that it's the wrong someone this time. The very wrong someone.
"But...But you can't do that!" I yelp and try to sit up, only to be lightly pushed back down by said person. "Hey!" I stare, too shocked to be angry. "What's even happening…"
The man smiles placatingly. "Oh, you know who I am, so you can guess that I'm here for a reason. That reason being to give you a chance to set a couple of things right in a universe you know all too well, even if it's not your own. A chance to meet your hero, to travel with him." He chuckles. "I know you want to."
There are three thoughts that strike me pretty much at the same time. First, this is the freaking Master hovering above me. Yet another fictional character that is far too real to ignore. He's real, and in my bedroom. Secondly, he's offering me something any and every Whovian in existence would want. But wasn't I supposed to go to the Doctor's universe anyway? This can't be the way that happens. Right? Thirdly, there is no way in hell he's offering me something this magical out of the kindness of his hearts.
"Why?" I demand coolly, narrowing my gaze on him while desperately trying not to reveal the terror I feel gripping my heart.
This is pre-Time Lords Returning Master. This is Harold Saxon Master. Somehow. How he's here is beyond me. Shouldn't he be in another universe, or not in existence at all, and you know, dead, and, or regenerated into Missy, or again, dead, by now? Timey Wimey I suppose.
His smile brightens. He has a nice smile and sure can sound friendly when he wants to. It's just too bad he's insane and murderous, viewing the human race as nothing more than animals that are beneath him and uncaring of respect to life. He reaches out and pats my head. Like a dog. Or, well, a kitten. Apparently. It annoys me to no end even though his touch is gentle, but I don't dare say anything. This IS the Master, after all.
It's kind of ridiculous, but after having already confirmed that the TARDIS, the Doctor, Amy and Rory are real, I have no other choice, but to believe what's right before my eyes. Even if I hadn't already met the Doctor (A thing that apparently the Master isn't aware of, and I'm sure not gonna mention it to him!), I couldn't have believed the actor known as John Simm would pop up in my bedroom in the middle of the night anyway. In any event, I let him treat me as he pleases because I don't think angering the Master is in any way a good idea. Pretty much in any universe. In ever.
"I need you to do something for me. I know those yearnings you have to travel around with the Doctor. I'll let you take care of those, if you take care of this one little thing for me."
He's offering me a boatload of awesome right now, but again, this is the MASTER we're talking about. It can't be a good thing that he's here and asking a favor of me. And why me? How does he even know me? My no longer sleepy eyes fix on his face. "And what's that?" I question, frowning.
"Deliver a message for me, Kitten." He requests simply.
I have a name. I think irritably, but again, this is the Master and I don't really feel like antagonizing him. "To whom?" I wonder why he's not letting me sit up. Probably so he can literally lord over me, seeing as he likes that kind of position.
"To me. To me in my future." He explains with a shrug.
Okay.
I don't like where this is going. But..."What message?" I can't help but be curious.
He smirks and bends down much too close for my liking, his breath once again caressing my ear.
"You're welcome."
I shiver. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I stare at him worriedly. Somehow...No. Every how, I'm not liking this. Red warning flags are flying up at me from every direction. "Why? Why are you saying that to your own self in the future?"
The Master laughs cheerfully. "Why wouldn't I? I'm superb!" He holds his arms open wide, showing himself off to me. "I'm deserving of worship, what's a little thank you now and again?" I want to cringe and crawl away, but I don't dare move. "So, what do you say?"
"Why me?" I demand quietly, staring at him as if he's insane. Well…He really, really is, so if the shoe fits...
"Why not you? You've got enough talent to accomplish the task. And I can't do it myself. It'll be more poetic coming from you." Poetic? What the...And what is he even doing in my universe? I'm so overwhelmed, I don't really think to ask. "Would you like to?" He asks, smiling brightly at me.
That smile alone makes goosebumps break out across my arms. I feel the hairs rise on the back of my neck. I want desperately to get away from this man. Instinctively, everything about him and this situation is screaming at me to get away, to run, to hide. But there is no way I can. He's leaning over my body. He could easily pin me back down to the bed if he wished. Plus, have I mentioned? He's the freaking Master.
I know, too, that no matter how badly I wish it, nobody is going to come save me. This isn't some fictional story where a hero will swoop in at the last minute. Even if the Master IS here, I can't expect that the Doctor will suddenly show up. This isn't his universe. It isn't natural for either of them to be here. He has no idea the Master is even alive half the time, much less that he would come to my universe. So there's just no way. There's nobody in my universe who could handle him. Plus, I'm the only one who knows he's here. Nobody is coming to help me. I'm on my own.
I realize this entire situation is beyond insanity. It's certainly beyond me. I need to focus on what's going on here.
I know the Master can't be up to anything good and I don't think a message like that is really important, so what's his real motive here? I think that not taking him up on the offer would be the wiser choice in spite of how much I so badly want to see the Doctor again and travel with him in the TARDIS. I'd do almost anything to get that chance. But the Master wouldn't just hand over an opportunity to a random nobody like me without a plan and that plan is always going to be bad. Maybe refusing will create a paradox. I don't know. But I can't worry about that right now. I have got to do the right thing here.
"I...I think I'll pass. But thank you very much for the opportunity." I finally say. My voice has never sounded so small to my own ears. Please don't let him decide to liquify my insides or something for refusing him.
He reaches down and plucks my hand up from where I've been clutching my blanket painfully tightly without even realizing it until now. He kisses the back of it while his eyes never leave mine. "I was just being...Not polite, but entertained. Wanting your reactions. But I'm not actually giving you a choice here."
Of course not. How could I have not realized that instantly? The Master isn't one to take no for an answer. Did I honestly think he'd be cool with it and just walk away? I guess I didn't think that one through too well. My stomach feels like it's in knots.
"Close your eyes, Kitten." Like I'm gonna go along willingly. I stare at him defiantly. He could squish me dead without a thought, but all the same, I'm not gonna be a party to a plan by an evil mastermind. Even if I didn't mind the evil, which I do, I know what road that leads down. A path that the Oncoming Storm would obliterate full stop. And I'm not really in a hurry to be on his hit list. Even more so than I don't want to be on the Master's bad side. I mean, let's be honest. The Doctor always wins in the end when it comes to the Master and his horrific plans. Whose side am I gonna be on? The winner's, that's who. But even if that wasn't the case, I'm not evil and don't want to do anything bad to help the Master out anyway. Hell no.
His smile brightens. It's eerie to see. I swallow around a sudden lump in my throat. I feel an odd lightheadedness as I stare at him. I seem to have forgotten something. I know I have, but I can't place what it is just now. I feel a light pressure in my head and I blink wearily. Why is the Master staring me down? And I think he's saying stuff, but I'm not sure what. Something about obeying him. What the hell is he on about? Yet I find my mouth opening and speaking of it's own volition.
"Yes, Master."
Wait…
What the hell am I saying?! I know it's wrong, yet emotionally it feels right and normal. Like it's the only thing I can do. I don't understand. I'm not sure what's going on.
"You," The Master drones on, his words hitting somewhere in my subconscious even though I'm no longer fully comprehending his words on a conscious level. "Will leech onto his timeline. You will make changes with your forbidden knowledge. You, Maddison Elizabeth Darling, will obey your Master!"
I feel myself nodding without any thought other than I know what I must do. "Yes, Master. I will." I know I must. It isn't something that can't be done. It's something that must be done, therefore it will be done. It's all I know. He moves closer. I feel something warm on either side of my head.
"Sleep." He commands. I slip into unconsciousness.
The next chapter should be up some time next week. Please leave a review! Thank you! I hope you enjoyed this so far.
