Rae woke hours later, her head throbbing worse than anything she had ever felt before. She groaned and buried her face into the blankets that were carelessly thrown over her, fighting back the urge to puke. She heard something shuffle to her right and forced her eyes open just a crack. Through blurry eyes, she saw someone slowly approach her, their fingers attentively brushing her hair from her face. She flinched away from the touch, completely unaware of where she was.

"Easy," a soft tone reminded her she was safe. She opened her eyes a little more and saw Mandy staring down at her, her face softening as soon as she saw her friend open her eyes. "Welcome back."
"Mmm," Rae moaned, snapping her eyes shut again. A moment later, she felt a different set of hands sit her up against her will. She tried to struggle but it was pointless. She felt like she got hit by a bus ten times over.
"Take these," A gruff voice instructed, pressing two pills into her hand. She glanced up and saw Mickey scratching the back of his neck, standing a slight ways away, his eyes tracing her features. "fuck, Rae," he murmured. He was going to lay in on her for being so stupid, but the broken expression on her face stopped him dead in his tracks. He swore under his breath and walked out of the room, shaking his head bitterly.

"He's worried," Mandy said softly, sitting down next to Rae, pressing a glass of water into her hand. "We both are. Svetlana is pissed you passed out in his bed."
"Mickey doesn't worry about anyone but himself," Rae snorted coolly. "And Svetlana can go fuck herself." She swallowed the pills and took a long sip of water. As soon as the cool liquid hit her stomach, she felt like she was going to be sick again. She fought the urge to puke for a few minutes, before slowly rising to her feet and pulling on her shoes.
"Where are you going?" Mandy asked, her tone warning her not to try anything stupid.
"To find a fucking job," Rae mumbled irritably. "Then I'm going to go to school and see if I can a midterm with a hangover from fucking hell."
"I thought you dropped out?" Mandy asked hesitantly.
"Not formally. If I can somehow score a decent mark on my midterms, maybe I stand a chance after all," she shrugged, though she didn't believe a word of what she was saying. She knew she was fucked, but she had nothing else to lose. She had no house, no family, and the friends that she did have were questionable at best. Despite how awful she felt, she couldn't sit around throwing a pity party for herself. It just wasn't who she was.

Rae nodded her thanks at Mickey before hurrying out of the Milkovich house. She was almost down the steps when someone grabbed her thinly clad arm roughly.
"For fucks sake, here," Mickey sputtered, throwing his worn, but warm, jacket to her. "And don't make me hunt your ass down again, clear?"
"Thanks," she murmured as she shrugged the jacket on, letting the warmth of it ease the ache in her back. "I'll be back by 6," she added, shoving her hands into the coat pockets. Mickey watched as she stumbled away, silently wondering how the hell that crazy woman made him feel anything other than rage.

On a normal day, Mickey wouldn't have given two shits what she did. He wasn't her keeper and despite Mandy's pleas, he would have told her to fuck off. But given everything he'd seen Rae go through that week, he couldn't help but feel sorry for her. He always thought no one's parents were worse than Terry, the cold, heartless man who had no problem having his kids do his dirty work, who had no problems fucking up his kids' lives and beating them senseless for stepping out of line. He never realized how wrong he could be. He took a long drag of the cigarette in his hand, really wishing Ian was around. Ian always took his mind off the bad shit.

Undenounced to Mickey, Rae had a feeling she knew where she could find the red-headed Gallagher. She walked for a long time, until she finally reached Boystown, and sucked in a shaking breath. She wandered from one bar to another, until she found someone she recognized, the same person she had been giving her bits of information for months. Normally she only used the faggot for information about her oldest brother's whereabouts, but after she overheard Lip asking Mickey if he knew anything about Ian at the funeral when they thought she went straight back inside, she sent out a call before she allowed herself to get piss drunk.

"Ruby," Rae called as she weaved in and out of the crowd. She never felt so out of place in her entire life.
"Lynnie!" the scrawny man squealed with delight. "Heard you were dead!"
"Wrong sister," Rae shrugged, hating the damn nickname. "You see a ginger twink 'round here lately?"
"Hmm, only a few times, red-heads aren't my type. Curtis I think it was," he bobbed his head. Rae could tell by the glossy look in his eyes that he was hopped up on something, as was usual for the spunky, overbearing guy. "Goes home with some old dude most nights. Saw him at White Swallow a few times, haven't seen him for about a week though, his ol' man either. Think they mighta had a problem."
"Listen, the kids just a kid, okay? You see him, you call me?" Rae said bitterly. She found herself worrying about him. Ian was a good kid who actually had a solid plan to get out of the godforsaken hood. She couldn't figure out why he would have left all that behind to give out cheap lap dances and head when he had a family who actually cared about him. "Tell 'im he's got people worried about him."
"Will do," Ruby nodded his head. "Not askin' about Matty anymore?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Why bother? Matty made his choices," she shrugged. "He's still kicking, right?"
"More than that, he's getting married!" Ruby sang, his voice full of excitement. "Real cute guy too."
"Spare me the details," Rae scoffed. "Keep me posted."
"Will do," he nodded, holding out his hand. Rae sighed and slapped a hundred-dollar bill into his outstretched hand. "Stay safe," he called over his shoulder as he disappeared into the rush of people who were crowding around the stage. Rae hurried out of the crowded club and quickly made her way to the train station, fully intent on getting to the damn college in time to take her Lit midterm.

With just seconds to spare, Rae ran into the lecture hall, breathless, with a headache that made her vision swim. She slid into a seat and sighed, wondering how in the world she expected to pass the damn thing when she couldn't even see straight enough to write her name.


A couple weeks later, Rae was sitting on Mandy's front porch when she saw Mitch approaching. She had been couch surfing for weeks, but always seemed to end up back at the Milkovich house, much to Mickey's whore's dismay. Svetlana, who was unfortunately the mother of Mickey's unborn child, made her point clear with Rae when she threw her against the wall, a knife to her throat, telling her if she so much as thought about fucking Mickey, she'd slit her throat in her sleep. Rae didn't care, she had zero attraction to Mickey and found it amusing that Svetlana actually thought there was something there between them. Mickey was in love with Ian, no matter how much he denied it. Since finding Ruby weeks earlier, she hadn't heard anything else about Ian's whereabouts, but she still kept her line of communication open, in hopes of finding the kid and getting him home where he belonged.

It was late, nearly ten, and Mitch had no reason to be walking in that part of down. Running really. Rae was about to turn and go inside when he called out, his voice broken, afraid.

"Raelyn, it's Lukas, Luke's hurt," he rattled out, his face ashen, his hair a mess. Rae turned, her heart dropping. Since Lizzy's funeral, Lukas had been the only one who bothered to check in on Rae from time to time, keeping her up to date on how things were at the house.
"What happened?" Rae demanded. She flicked her cigarette aside and reached inside the front door, grabbing her keys to the van and the jacket she'd been borrowing before closing the door softly to avoid waking anyone up. "How hurt?"
"He was shot, Rae," Mitch said, his eyes brimming with tears. "He was fucking shot."

They made it to the hospital in record time, neither saying a single word the entire way there. As soon as Rae ran into the emergency room waiting room, she found herself overwhelmed with too many arms in her face at once.

"Wha-" she stopped when she noticed that they weren't the only ones in the waiting room. Across the row of chairs, she spotted Kev and V quietly talking, behind them, the Gallagher's sitting in a tight circle, each wearing troubled expressions.

"What happened? How was he shot?" Rae asked, turning her attention back to her family before Lip could catch her staring. "Who?"
"Mom made him move some product," Beth said hoarsely. "I was about to catch a train to New York to spend some time with Matty when Mitch called me."
"Fucking Melody!" Rae growled, her hands balling into fists. "Where the fuck is she anyway?"
"Probably still at the house," Mitch said with a wary expression. "We told her to keep Nik and Jay there…no point in scaring them…"
"You left a five year old and a two year old, with someone who has no problem letting her fourteen year old push drugs for her?" Rae snapped, causing people to turn around, giving her an angry glare. "How 'bout you use that head of yours and go get them, huh?" Mitch and Beth shared a wary look before both rising, unsure what to do. "Now?" Al hugged at Rae's waist. Rae put a protective hand on Al's shoulder. "I've got Al, and I'll stay here."
"Fine, yeah, okay," the pair sputtered. They hurried off, no doubt kicking themselves for being so fucking stupid.

After Rae watched them leave, she sat down heavily, Alanna crawling into her lap.

"Rae, things are bad now," she said softly. "Luke only did the run 'cause the heat got turned off."
"Jesus Christ," Rae murmured. She spared a glance over at the Gallagher's and caught Lip staring at her with wary eyes. "C'mon, I'm gonna see if Debs can keep an eye on you so I can check on Luke, okay?" Al nodded her head and slid off Rae's lap, running towards the tired looking girl. Debbie pulled her into an embrace, shooting a look at Rae in the process.

"Why are you guys here?" Debbie blurted out, eyeing Rae hesitantly. She hadn't seen much of the Quinn kids since the funeral disaster.
"Luke," Rae said simply, not wanting to drag the teen into her family's mess. "Better question is why are you guys here?"
"Liam got into Fiona's coke," she deadpanned. Rae sputtered, a shocked expression washing over her face.
"Fucking Christ, is he okay?" she sputtered, turning quickly to look at Lip, who looked like he got kicked in the balls. "Lip?"
"He's…we don't know yet," Lip said softly, his eyes brimming with tears. "We don't know."
"Fiona got arrested," Carl said bluntly, looking both concerned and furious. "It sucks."
"Know the feeling kid," Rae sighed. She glanced back at Debbie, who was hugging Al tightly.
"Can I leave her with you for five minutes? I need to see if they'll give me an update."
"Yeah, sure," Debbie nodded into Al's hair. Debbie felt better having the little girl in her lap. It made her feel like she was doing something useful. Rae looked at Kev, who was giving her a strange look.
"Spit it out," she said, irritated because she couldn't place his expression.
"Just surprised to see you upright today," he deadpanned. "Mickey had to carry you outta the bar last night."
"Yeah, well, time doesn't stand still for no one," Rae huffed before heading towards the nurses station. After arguing with the nurse for several painstakingly long minutes, she was finally allowed back to see her brother. As she stepped into the room, her heart sank. Luke looked so much younger than fourteen, wires coming out of his arms, his right shoulder bandaged, the steady beeping of the monitors making Rae's head hurt even more. She coughed softly, hoping to see him open his eyes. He blinked once before turning, a scared smile crossing his lips.

"Rae!" he squeaked. His voice sounded so scared.
"Jesus Christ, Lukas," she breathed. She hurried to his side, planting a kiss on the top of his head. "You okay, kid?"
"Mhm," he purred. Rae noted that he must have been hooked to a morphine drip, judging by the sleepy smile that played on his lips.
"Who did this, Luke? Where were you?" Rae demanded.
"Underpass," he murmured. He reached up with his good hand and held her tightly, tears creeping in his eyes. "I fucked up. I didn't…I wasn't…" suddenly tears fell from his eyes, a choking sob stopping him in his tracks.
"Listen to me, I'll get the boys on this, you hear me? Ain't no one gonna hurt you again," she said reassuringly. "I promise."
"No," Luke croaked. "Can't. They'll k-kill me. They'll k-k-," he broke down in bitter tears.
"No way," Rae said softly, stroking his messy, curly hair. "No one takes a shot at my kid brother and lives to talk about it," Rae said, her tone strong, determined. "No one."

After a few more minutes, the nurse gently told Rae that it was time for her to go, that she could wait in the waiting room for the night if she wanted to. Rae nodded and slowly made her way back over to where she had left Al, not the least bit surprised to see that most of the Gallagher's were gone.

"Kev and V took the kids back to their place," Lip said softly, shifting a now sleeping Al in his lap. "I…I didn't know what you wanted to do about her," he looked down at the sleeping girl in his lap.
"I'm going to take her home, I guess," Rae sighed sadly. "Apparently my fucked up family can't make sense of nothing," she added with a hateful growl. She scooped up Alanna, the weight unfamiliar, causing her to shift painfully. "Are you staying here tonight?"
"Yeah…they won't let me stay with Liam but I wanna be close, you know?" he said. Rae nodded and rested a hand on his shoulder.
"I'll be back around soon. Need anything?" she offered. This wasn't her first time sleeping in a waiting room waiting for updates. "A book? Charger? Coffee?"
Lip shook his head, his gaze falling to his feet. "No, naw, I'm okay."
"Okay," Rae said, even though she knew she was going to bring him stuff anyway. She slowly made her way through the busy hallway, the icy air biting at her skin as she loaded a sleeping Alanna into the backseat. She was about to pull off when she saw Mitch approaching her, a worried look on his face.

"I'll take her," he said softly. "Everyone else is asleep. Mom got hauled in, guess Luke had no problem ratting her out."
"How're you getting her home?" Rae asked, her tone bitter.
"Mom's car," he shrugged. "The heat's back on," he added in spite of himself. "Luke managed to get the cash before he got shot."
"Glad that makes you so goddamned happy," Rae muttered.
"Listen…I know you're pissed, but you're not going to call state, are you? I…we've got this under control…" Mitch scratched at the back of his neck, giving her a pleading look. "I…I know you said you weren't picking up the pieces again…but we're okay, really."
"Lukas could have died, Mitchel. He could have fucking died. Why didn't you just call me for fucks sake? I could have gotten the damn money myself!" Rae was furious.
"You said you were done!" Mitch shot back. "You haven't called, you haven't stopped by! When I asked around about you, everyone said you were drunker than Frank Gallagher most days! I figured you didn't need us anymore!"
"You fucking idiot!" Rae screamed, shoving Mitch with all her strength. "Family fucking first! I would have fucking came through if it meant keeping that fucking kid safe! You know that!"
"I don't know anything anymore Raelyn! You left! You left and I fucked up, okay? I fucked up!" Hot tears rolled down his cheeks as he snatched Al out of the backseat of the van, his glare so fierce it could have cut glass. "I…We…"
"Save it," Rae growled. "You made your bed, now lay in it!"

Rae climbed into the van and pulled out of the busy parking lot, her knuckles white from how tightly she gripped the steering wheel. She flew down the streets, breaking several traffic laws in the process. She didn't stop until she pulled up in front of the Milkovich house, her hands trembling as she pushed open the front door.

She ignored the whores who stared at her with angry glares as she shoved her way into the kitchen where she found Iggy and Colin sharing beers and passing weed back and forth.

"Where's your ol' man?" she demanded. Iggy nodded towards the living room. Rae found him sprawled out on the couch, a beer in one hand, the remote in the other.
"I need a favor," she said, her tone rough. "Need you and the boys to take out a the thug who shot my brother."
"Not interested," Terry growled, giving her a dirty look.
"Scumbag shot a kid. I've got a thousand in cash and can have another two by Friday," she said quickly, tossing an envelope into the old man's lap. "Please."

"Boys!" Terry's voice boomed over the low murmur of voices coming from the other room. Iggy and Colin approached, their eyes locking on the envelope in Terry's hand. "Find your fucking faggot ass brother and tell him we've got a job to do."
"Underpass just past 48th," she said carefully, giving Terry a knowing look. They knew the area well. "Luke said it was two guys, one black, the other white. Mid-twenties maybe."
"We've dealt with them before," Terry nodded, giving her an angry glare. "Which kid?"
"Luke, the younger one," she sighed. "The one who helped you and the boys last summer when Iggy got hauled off."
"Shit, sorry bitch, we'll take care of it," Terry rubbed the back of his hand over his mouth. As much as Rae hated to admit it, being closely associated with the Milkovich clan had its upside. "He okay?"
"He'll live," Rae nodded. "But he's just a fucking kid. He's not cut out for street life, he ain't like your boys."
"Shit, that's cause your ol' man was never around to teach 'em the ways," he scoffed. Rae forced herself to keep her comments to herself as Terry rose, ushering the boys into the kitchen to formulate a plan. Before turning to leave, Rae felt someone grab her arm, causing her to freeze. Svetlana glared at her with an uneasy expression.
"Mikhailo won't get hurt?" she asked warily.
"Naw. Mickey's just the brains of the operation," Rae forced a sad smile. She knew Mickey knew how to take care of himself. He was one of his father's pitbulls, he never really was in any danger on any of his father's jobs. "He'll be good."
"Better be. Or I kill you," Svetlana growled. Rae tensed but didn't say anything, just shrugged past the angry, pregnant whore and hurried back to her van so she could get back to the hospital as soon as possible.

As she walked back through the double doors, she found Lip slumped uncomfortably in one of the hard plastic seats. She sighed and gently nudged him, motioning towards the wall.

"C'mon, your back's gonna be killing you if you don't move," she said softly. Lip grumbled something incoherently, but followed her anyway. Rae slipped off her coat and tossed it over Lip's lap as he settled in next to her, his eyes foggy with sleep.
"You came back," he murmured, tiredly forgetting that her brother was sitting in a hospital room.
"Yeah, yeah I did," she sighed softly. Moments later, she felt his head fall onto her shoulder. She spared a glance at him before stretching out her legs, knowing she was in for a long night. She thought about everything that had happened those last few months and couldn't help but wonder if in some way, it was all part of something bigger. Like it was meant to happen somehow. She watched as people came and went in the waiting room for a while, before her own exhaustion caused her eyes to shut, despite her best effort to stay awake.


A/n - First off, I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed, followed and faved this story so far! I truly appreciate it and it's given me the fuel to keep going! Second off, i just wanted to point out that from the beginning, this was meant to be a slow-burn between Lip and Rae. I needed them to face similar struggles, but in different situations to blend their stories together! Let me know what you all think so far!