~4~
Lulu isn't sure what wakes her until she notices the distinct lack of arms around her. Johnny's not in bed with her anymore. But the sleep fogging her mind doesn't prevent her from catching his voice not too far away.
"...done this. You were so clear on how you wanted us to be honest with each other, and already, before things have even had a chance to really start been us, I've been lyin' to you."
She had been planning to get up and figure out what was going on until those words freeze the very blood in her veins. Johnny's talking to me, the realization drags slowly before bubbling into fury. And using me as a supposed sleeping confessional! She maintains her cover though in order to hear all of what he has to say.
"Lulu, what I've kept from you is worse than my involvement with Michael's shooting." He takes a breath here and each word that comes next is rawer than the last as if he's swallowing glass repeatedly, gratefully, in hopes of repentance. "I guess you could say I did snap and went after my father... My grandfather. But instead that innocent man and little girl paid the price."
Lulu's heart splinters and cracks as she listens to Johnny struggle to breathe around his silent sobs that barely make a dent in the quiet strangling the room. She's not even certain if she's ever seen him cry before let alone heard him and wants nothing more than to hold him despite the horror spiking through her blood. Johnny was responsible... and obviously it's shredding apart his haggard soul.
He clears his throat imperceptibly and his words come out thick, "There's not a day that doesn't go by where I don't feel sick seeing a man and his daughter together—where I don't hate myself, Lu. If only the horror show ended there."
Lulu fights with herself not to make a stray sound or out of place motion that can give her away especially since from the direction of his voice he's probably watching her... Maybe even using her image as a source of courage.
"My fa-grandfather tried to kill me," he tells her after a sniffle. "But he ended up shot instead. I could've gotten him help, Lu, but after everything... After everything he's done, I killed him instead."
Lulu's fingers curl in the sheets as she feels a little woozy despite lying down. Anthony is not missed by any means, but Johnny being the one to do it had to destroy something inside of him no matter how much he hated the old man. Anthony was the only father Johnny ever knew... However even through all the anguish she feels for Johnny there's a grain of burning fury. He let her dad take the blame for Anthony's murder and tried to make her doubt own father.
Through her internal conflicts she almost misses his whispered words, "I've seen his ghost a few times, haunting me for the things I've done. I never did believe the Zaccharas were a bedrock for sanity."
Lulu's lips press harshly together as she feels her face warm and her throat become horribly scratchy and tight.
"I know it's just the guilt getting to me and after what happened between us and what you said... I've decided to go to the PCPD and confess." The sound of his shoes over the smooth ground grow in sound as he draws near. "I'd rather not risk a repeat of before. Honesty is the best policy, right?" He tries to joke but his tone is too flat, bleak, and he winds up just sighing.
When she feels his hand rest on her hair gentle and warm her already frantic heartbeat nearly forces her anger and sorrow outward in salty rivers. His lips grace her forehead, lingering for so long, she can almost trick herself into believing this is some kind of nightmare she'll wake up from. But then he pulls away and rests his forehead against hers and says for only her to hear, "I love you, Lulu. And if I could have things my way... we'd run off to someplace where all this could be left behind. No violence, no regrets. Just whatever we could build together."
And then his warmth falls away from her and his footfalls start to retreat. That's all it really takes for Lulu to open her mouth in a quiet act of defiance. "So what? I was supposed to just wake up in the morning thinking you were out to get us some breakfast, and, come to find out, you were sentenced to twenty or more years in prison!" Her eyes hone in on his prone figure like infuriated missiles.
Johnny can't even turn to look at her. "Lulu..."
She sits up, tugging the blanket around her bare chest with a derisive laugh. "I've thought of you as a lot of things, but never a coward, Johnny."
"I didn't want you to hate me!" His explosion resounds around the room, but what's more impactful is the tear tracks down his cheeks when he faces her, still making their decent.
"I don't hate you," she responds, in contrast, quieter while pushing from the bed, wrapped in sheets. "Disappointed, angry, hurt for you... The list goes on. Hating you isn't on it, Johnny," she says honestly while Johnny covers his mouth, shoulders shaking as he continues to cry. It rends her heart into a broken mess causing her to fold him in her arms and be the comfort for him for once. He holds onto her as if she's the only reason he hasn't slipped away.
After a while he seems to gain control and his hold is no longer constricting, but appreciative. She rubs her hands up and down his back while listening to his heart pitter patter away in his chest, having used the time to settle some of her battling thoughts. Pulling back, Lulu smoothes the lingering tears on his cheeks away with her thumbs and asks, "Were you serious about running away? I mean, we could go to Switzerland and start fresh there."
The moonlight glints off the hope creeping in his eyes. She feels the way his hands curl around her arms with a slack grip as if she's not even there, her words seemingly unreal to him. "You're... serious?" He breathes.
"You ran away with me once, didn't you?" She lifts an eyebrow.
His smile is breathtaking in its elated joy and almost extinguishes her sole grievance with him. That is until he leans down with intentions of a kiss and her hand comes up to cover his mouth, halting him in place.
She ignores the flash of shock that travels through his eyes as her frown sets in place. "Before any of that can happen though, you need to use whatever connections you have to get the PCPD's sights off my dad. I can't believe you were willing to let him take the fall!"
Johnny takes her wrist in hand and places a delicate kiss to her fingers then palm as remorse roughens his tone, "I'm sorry, Lulu. And you're right. He's your father. I know how much you love him." He exhales and the honesty in his eyes tempers her simmering feelings. "I'll make a few calls and see what I can pull together... But after this we'll most likely have to disappear."
She shoves him lightly towards the door with a smile tucked in her cheeks. "Then go get everything ready then! Pack us a getaway bag so we can go see the Swiss Alps already." Despite the lopsided grin that overtakes his lips, his eyes still question her certainty proving to her that she's making the right decision. Johnny will always put her needs above his own. "It's okay. I can always come back here to visit. And who knows? By then we might be married so I wouldn't even be able to testify against you if this case is still even a thing," she waves her hand nonchalantly, dropping her head to hide the sudden rush of heat in her cheeks from voicing that thought aloud.
Johnny doesn't have any of her hiding though as she finds before she can even breathe he's crushed her to his chest and locked her lips with his in a flurry of passion. Standing, breathing, thoughts they're all useless in the face of his mouth pouring his love, slow, deep, and unforgettable into her soul. No other man can connect so beautifully with her the way Johnny does and she holds onto the wondrous sensation as he pulls away with panting breaths.
"I'm gonna go get things started for the rest of our lives," he peppers her cheeks in little excited kisses and she giggles around his name until he leans away to peer into her eyes. His love for her is hopelessly on the surface and she feels her own for him well up right along with it. "I'll see you in a bit, okay?"
She nods a few times stepping out of his hold to brace her hands against a dresser as if to silently shoo him. Lulu waits until Johnny leaves before searching through the drawers for something suitable to wear. The least she can do is freshen up before they make their getaway. Her hand encircles around a silky light blue slip as things really begin to dawn on her. "I am going to miss my friends and family... But this life with Johnny... I don't want to give it up."
Boom!
She jumps as a noise shakes the foundation of the boat for an instant only to let all the tension coiling through her muscles out in a breath when she realizes it's thunder. Curling blond hair behind her ear she notices how darkness has seemingly swallowed up the room and recognizing objects other than the full slip in her hand will be nearly impossible. She turns in hopes of maybe finding her phone for the flashlight.
BOOM! BOOM!
Lulu holds still and more rigid than any statue, not even taking a breath. And then like a snap of lightning her body jumps in quivers as the noise replays over and over in her mind. That wasn't thunder. That was...
She's gulping down air and none of it seems to stay as her hands quake in removing the covers wrapping her. The straps are nearly torn on the slip as she throws it on in haste. And then she's walking from the room and through the darkened halls with the grace of a zombie, her thudding heartbeat her only company. Slow jumbled footsteps turn into a staccato walk which morphs into a full pounding sprint. Everything crashes to a halt, pieces flying and lost never to be found again, when she reaches the center of the Haunted Star.
Dante stands soaked, gun hanging in his hand at his side to the far side of the room, his eyes jumping up to her wide with shock. But that hardly matters to her at the sight of Johnny on the ground, limp as crimson pools from two places in his torso.
There's a stomach curdling, lung punching sound that scratches at her ears suddenly. It shocks her that it's her own screams when her throat starts to burn and tear. She can't seem to stop making them though as she falls to Johnny's side and lifts a shaking hand to his ashen face before throwing her head around in every direction for something, anything to make this not be real... And landing on Dante.
"Help him! Call an ambulance!"
His phone is already to his ear and he ends it right after her shrieks. By now she's on the verge of hyperventilating because Johnny has only looked so pale when he was really unwell and he hasn't responded to her touch and there's so much blood... Dante's hands appear with two balled up cloths, pressing them to the spot near Johnny's heart and lower on his stomach.
Lulu chokes on her breath as she forces all the horror, the fright, and sickness to hideaway for a bit so she can be strong for Johnny. Sniffing, she runs her thumb over the smudge of crimson on the corner of his lip, hiding it away too as she promises thickly, "You're gonna be fine, Johnny. You have so much to live for. Remember what we just talked about? You have... Y-you have no reason to give up just yet." The sound of thudding footsteps entering the boat and calls for location don't bring her attention away as Dante responds anyway. Instead she places a chaste kiss on Johnny's forehead as tears drip down her cheeks. "Don't leave me okay?"
The paramedics sweep in and immediately get him on a gurney to take to the ambulance. Lulu follows right behind not even acknowledging Dante's presence, because right now there's a thin thread pulling inside of her attached to Johnny's life. She has no idea what she'll do if it snaps.
~.~
She doesn't feel the chill from the rain that soaked her to the bone. The jacket one of the EMTs gave her isn't the reason for that either. She simply can't feel anything besides the warmth of the limp hand in hers, nor can she hear anything besides the heart monitor as the ambulance pulls up at General Hospital. The heart rate monitor flat lined twice along the way and at this point Lulu is certain she doesn't want to know what it would be like to live without Johnny. Twice was too much.
The EMTs deliver a bunch of medical jargon that fly over her head as she trails behind them solemn, broken and empty, watching the part that can fill and mend her be carted away from her useless touch. Regardless she continues to march after them, keeping her tunnel vision on what she can see of Johnny until he disappears behind a blue curtain. She intends to follow until hands go around her shoulders preventing her from doing so.
"Oh my god, honey, what is going on? Dante left me a message saying I should get down here and that Johnny was shot?" Her hands run over Lulu's hair soothingly, "You are so wet. We need to get you a towel." The concern is prevalent in the woman's voice—Carly, her mind mentally provides while her floral scent tries to cut through the antiseptic smell that is the hospital.
Lulu almost gives into the urge to buck the hands holding her back as the curtain remains in place like a slowly constricting rope around her ribs. Elizabeth Webber, brunet sheeny hair and soft sympathetic doe eyes, passes before her view with said towels though and Lulu is rubbed down by people that only care about her, not the man who could be dying. "I don't care about me. I care about Johnny," she croaks desperately on the verge of losing her resolve to be the strong one.
Carly who's kneeling at her feet clicks her tongue. "You walked here in no shoes, Lulu? You probably have—"
"Stop!" Her heart hasn't stopped hurting from the small curled up place in her chest it's made itself and tears run hot down her cheeks. She spies them all. Elizabeth, Carly, and Maxie, Spinelli, Jason, and Dante off to the side. They do nothing but make her feel as if she's caged and being slowly submerged underwater because none of them are who she wants to see right now. "I don't need help right now! He does."
Carly straightens up and fixes her with a look reason—as if being rational is what she needs right now. "The doctors are doing what they can to stabilize him for surgery—"
A cacophony of noises blare through the air like an omen.
No one sees her dart forward like a bullet, her reaction is so swift. This is her belief until leather clad arms ensnare her, lifting her from the ground as she tries to throw her weight around and break free. Her heart claws at her ribs as she shrieks Johnny's name again and again. The machines don't let up an unending nightmare and Jason is a stone wall keeping her from the blue barrier that could end it all.
The cacophony abruptly ceases.
Lulu rattles in Jason's arms as he holds her on her feet but doesn't allow her freedom while she sucks in her terrified sounds. The machines stopping has to be a good sign. It has to be.
The doctor—smooth dark hair, grave faced, Dr. Finn—squeezes from between the curtains and says the one thing he shouldn't have.
"We did everything we could."
Lulu's meaning all but fades away.
She must cause a hell of a commotion as her world falls to oblivion at her feet, because a prick is soon felt in her arm and the world, the agony, all dissolve away. Lulu likes to think that this way, in the numb quiet of darkness, she gets to go be with Johnny like they both planned all along.
I hope to have time to finish this one day! It certainly has General Hospital potential! Thanks for reading!
