With the help of Butters, the new kid managed to get to Craig's house without getting hurt. Yes, they got attacked by a few Drow Elves but it was rather easy when you had a kid that would bash you in the face with a hammer. The sweet boy didn't care that he made the others kids bleed due to broken noses, he thought he was doing the right thing so long as it was for his King.

They reached number 1010, Craig's house. It was a pale brown colour with a garage. Why are all the houses exactly the same design? Did someone get bored when they drew them?

The new kid knocked on the door and stared silently at the chubby ginger that opened the door. He looked down at the blonde girl and realized her outfit was similar to his sons "Ya lookin' for Craig? Well, he can't play. He's in detention. Something about flippin' off the principal." Without waiting for a reply, the ginger slammed the door.

"We better get to the other guys first" Butters called out "taking on the school is dangerous, we'll need back up."

Once again they were off on another journey. Turns out, everyone bullies Butters, even Jimmy who the knew kid found out was a cripple. She decided that the sweet dumbass was now her ward, and it would be her duty to make sure he no longer got wet willies and noogies. All the idiot wanted was friends and to be included, so that's what she would do.

They stopped outside the fanciest house in South Park. Apparently, this was where their companion, Token Black lived. Getting to the house was easy, getting inside, however, looked troubling. A retarded looking security guard stood at the only entrance. The moment the new kid walked up he sprayed her eyes with mace. She screamed - which she never does - and floundered around, trying with all her might to stop the agonizing pain. Butters raced over and pulled her away from the horrid man whilst he spoke threateningly "if you try again, I will pepper spray you back to the Stone Age." At least the man is not racist, most security guards will only mace black people. The guy must not get laid.

"We should go to Tweek's coffee shop and get you some water buddy," Butter said soothingly, the girl couldn't open her eyes so he led her to the shop.

Inside, Mr. Tweak took one look at the new kids puffy eyes and brought out a small expresso cup and filled it with water "the guard spray you too huh? Don't worry, the water will help" he said soothingly "would you like some coffee? Our coffee is made with ingredients supplied by local organic suppliers. It's local coffee. Brewed locally" He raised his hand to his mouth and shouted, "TWEEK?! TWEEEEK!"

"AAGGGHH!" a boys voice screamed in reply. The new kid was finally able to open her eyes without feeling like she was looking at the sun, they just felt heavy now.

"Have you picked up the fresh local ingredients?!"

"AAHGHGH NOT YET DAD! I'M STILL TRYING TO DO ALL MY CHORES!"

"Well hurry up, son. The family business is relying on you!"

"AAHGHGHG!" realizing that whoever was in the storage room was their next member, they snuck past the parents and went inside.

"Hey, Tweek!" Butters called out happily.

The kid before them was incredibly twitchy and jerky. Even 2 seconds the kid would move a muscle. The new kid guessed he was forced to drink a lot of coffee by his parents, that or he just liked it. "Hey Butters, is that the new kid?" Tweek asked "what ACK! What does she want?" the new kid pulled out a piece of paper and gave it to Tweek who freaked out "What's this! AHGHGHGH! NOW?! The guys need me now?! Oh, there's no way man! I have WAY too much to do!" Tweek grabbed the new kid and shook her "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ALL THIS?! Wait- YOU!" he stepped back once he realized the girl was freaking out "could you go get the four o'clock delivery for me?! If you do I can finish here and then – and then I'll still have time to play! PLEASE! Would you?! It's at Kenny's house – like always! Y-you, give them THIS" he grabbed a closed envelope "they'll give you the delivery."

The new kid nodded and left the shop with Butters dutifully trailing beside her "oh boy! Our first real mission as partners!" Butters cheered with a little jump.

So the delivery was at Kenny's house as Tweek saod, well actually it was in their garage but the fact that this wasn't a legal delivery was great. When she gets older, the new kid was going to drink at Tweek's coffee every day, they put dugs in that shit!

After they attacked the meth heads because they thought she was a cop, they rushed back to Tweek and gained an ally.

Later on, they bought a gas mask from Jimbo's guns and got passed the security guard. It wasn't that hard, he was a lazy fat slob that they could outrun easily. He would no doubt lose his job after his boss finds out that he got beaten up by two kids. They got Token and used Timmy's wheelchair cart to get to the Kupa Keep faster than walking.

"ALL SOLDIERS REPORTING FOR DUTY, GRAND WIZARD!" the fat asshole stepped outside and nodded at the new kid.

"Nice work, Douchebag. Now all my men are here and ready to fight for the – wait a minute, where is Feldspar? Where's my level twelve thief?"

"Hey yes, where's Craig?" How the fuck has Butters forgotten so quickly, he was right next to the new kid when she talked to Craig's dad.

Tweek spoke up "He flipped off the Principal, so he's in detention again."

Everyone fell silent "oh my god…if they've locked away our thief in detention we have no hope of getting back the Stick of Truth. We have to break him out!"

"Agh! No way man, last time we broke Craig out of detention we ALL got in trouble!" Tweek screeched.

"Getting into trouble is a risk that Douchebag is willing to take!" Cartman looked at the new kid "you have to break out our thief, Douchebag. But don't worry, I will not let you go unprepared. I am going to teach you how to use magic. Follow me to the training barracks. It's time for you to learn Dragonshout" what? Dragonshout? What was this Elder Scrolls Skyrim? Deciding to go along with it, the new kid followed the Wizard King to the training ground "you fight well, Douchebag, but to truly succeed in combat you must learn to harness the power…of your farts. Farting on an opponent at precisely the right time is key to battle. I shall show you how it's done, but FIRST, you must take the Gentlemen's oath" the new kid frowned and cocked her head to the side "I know you're a girl but since you're playing with boys I need to make sure you uphold our most sacred oath. You must promise to NEVER, EVER fart on anyone's balls, okay? Farting on an opponent is necessary, but farting on someone's balls is NOT COOL. Do you understand?" she nodded "all right, then let's begin your training."

The Wizard King motioned to the training dummies "to conjure Dragonshout, you must first clear your mind and take in a deep breath…through your butthole. Like so" he clenched his eyes shut and shook his body, no doubt sucking up the air around him. The new kid was afraid that the Wizard King would suck so hard he would create a black hole. "Then….let it rumble inside you…and…DRAGONSHOUT!" he pushed out and let his fart attack the dummy. The new kid nodded, impressed with the force of the boy's shout. She has always had strong and deadly farts, perhaps she has known Dragonshout all her life. "Now you" the Wizard King moved so the new kid could take her turn. "ready? Dragonshout"

The new kid was not worried about failing, this was second nature to her. Though she has never tried to let a fart stew within her body, what power could she create if she did so? Deciding to find out, she sucked in as much air as she could, so much that she felt she could suck her self into her butt. The rumble within her body was strong, overpowering. Such power should never be contained, it wanted to be free, to flow through the world like a strong gust of wind. Feeling that the time was right, she used all the strength her rectum contained to roar like a dragon…through her butt. The dummy shook and nearly snapped in half from the force of her mighty fart.

Cartman stayed silent, staring at her in awe and wonder "my god that was…incredible. A man could live a hundred years and never again witness a spell so…boisterous. A girl with such power has never been heard of before…could it be that the prophecies are true? Could it be that the Dragonborn has come at last in our hour of need?" fuckin' really fatass, you can't think of something original so you turn shouting into super farting? This kid is a retard. "Now let us try your skill on a REAL opponent" he snickered softly "hey, hey, Princess Kenny, could you come here a sec?" the new kid glared at him, she didn't want to fart on such a beauty. "shhh! Don't tell him. Okay, just real quick" The Princess glided over like an ethereal goddess, when she saw the new kid she giggled and twirled a lock of golden hair, hoping to catch the girls attention. "Princess Kenny, Lady Douchebag wants to show you something. All right, you two – SPAR!" realizing that she had to fight the new kid, Princess Kenny got ready "Lady Douchebag, show Princess Kenny the magical powers I have taught you."

The new kid nodded and walked over to the Princess so they were standing close, she frowned and patted the Princesses shoulder in silent apology. Taking action, she sucked up all the air around her, even the air blessed with the Princess aroma, a sweet perfume of roses and apples. She let it rumble within before roaring. The Princess screamed and waved her hands and arms around her crazily in the hopes of removing the disgusting and powerful smell. Cartman cackled madly "THAT WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS! HA HA AHAHAHA! DUDE THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! O-okay, good job, Lady Douchebag, that was sweet. Thanks, Princess Kenny. That's all for now."

The maiden glared at the Wizard King before storming off, well, not before getting an apology kiss on the cheek by her attacker. She glared at Lady Douchebag before sighing and nodding her head, accepting the apology. The new kid smiled and turned back to the fatass. "HA hahahaha! Okay, but dude, seriously remember, don't EVER do that on someone's balls. Okay, seriously. You have mastered Dragonshout, from now it will be easier for you. Now, we need to save Craig from detention. Kenny will assist you in your quest, Douchebag. Now go get Craig while I rest and relax upon my throne."

The new kid sighed deeply and walked over to Kenny who looked at her "mhph?" she motioned to the back door where Butters was waiting inside "mmm mhm" she nodded and grabbed the Dragonborn's hand and dragged her off.

Kenny, Butters, and the new kid peered through the detention window to see what they were up against. Inside were 7 kids and a teacher with a really large head that the new kid learned was called Mr. Mackey "Craig…Craig this is DETENTION Mkay, stop looking at your watch because you are here for THREE HOURS, BUDDY! Mkay!"

"Whatever" the thief replied uncaringly, he knew he was getting out. His King needed him.

"Don't think your friends are gonna come bust you out this time, Craig!"

"My name is Feldspar and I'm a level six thief and the humans will soon rescue me from this tower."

Mr. Mackey glared at him "no, your name is fuckin' CRAIG TUCKER and you're in DETENTION! Start doing your homework! Mkay, I've got all the doors SEALED and I've got hallway monitors working overtime – nobody is gonna save your ass today, Craig, Mkay?!" the trio walked away and turned to each other.

"Mr. Mackey's got all the hall monitors working" Butters commented grimly "The Wizard King told me all monitors are evil gingers that want to steal our souls" the new kid sighed deeply, Cartman is a fucking idiot…and so is Butters, but he was more of a naïve idiot than a retardic idiot like Cartman.

"Mph mph mpmhm!" Kenny said determinedly, she wasn't afraid of gingers.

"You're right Princess Kenny, we need Craig" Butters swung the doors opened and the trio prepared to fight.

Within the school, a short, pale ginger kid with freckles galore stopped them "Excuse me but school is OUT and no students are allowed on the premises until tomorrow at 7:30 AM." The boy replied nerdily. The new kid rolled her eyes in irritation, she just wanted to get Craig and get back the Stick of Truth, maybe even flirt with the Princess. With that in mind, she stepped forward and punched the ginger in the face, hard and strongly. The kid yelped and fell to the floor, hitting it with his skull and falling unconscious.

"Oh wow," Butters said in awe "remind me to never make you angry" Kenny giggle and agreed, watching the girl punch that kid out was hot. They continued on through the hallway, none of the gingers were playing fantasy so they did not possess any powers. That and they were gingers so they were weak, all Kenny had to do was flash her beautiful breast and they became drooling lechers. She truly was a beauty, even if she had no tits. All their enemies easy to defeat except for…the ginger sixth grader.

The deadly boss was dangerous, his ginger touch was disgusting and poisoned anyone who touched them. His mace nearly broke their bones, they were lucky that they had healing potions. It took all of the new kids rectal powers to down the beast. She needed to train more, her butthole felt strained from overuse.

They kicked the ginger boss one more time before they opened the dungeon and freed all the prisoners from the overlord. The prisoners cheered and threw the torture tools into the air. Pens, pencils, paper, and books rained down like confetti.

"DAMN YOU CRAAAAAAAAAAAIIIGG!" Mr. Mackey shouted as he tried to capture the thief.

"Thanks for busting me out, kid. Who are you?" the new kid remained silent "what's your name?"

"W-we don't know her name" Butters replied, "The Wizard King called her Lady Douchebag The Rogue."

"Nice to meet you Douchebag. Oh well, I'm heading to Kupa Keep. We can all walk there together I guess" the group nodded and walked to their Kingdom. Finally, the greatest warriors reunited.

"Gentlemen, thanks to the new kid, our entire army is assembled!" This was their entire army? The Drow Elves have almost the entire boy population in the 3rd and 4th grade. "It is my belief, that the new kid deserves to rank up in level. To honor her efforts, she will no longer be called 'Lady Douchebag.' New kid, I hereby dub thee – Madam Douchebag! Congratulations" now she sounded like a dominatrix. Actually, that sounds pretty cool, to be honest. "But now it is time for us to take back that which is rightfully ours. A carrier Raven has come with news that the Stick of Truth has not yet been taken to the Elven forest. It is in the possession of…the Bard." Everyone but the new kid gasped in fear.

"The Bard!"

"Oh god, not the Bard!"

Butters noticed the new kids confusion "The Bard is a level ten Drow Elf who can use music to enchant and destroy his enemies!"

Cartman nodded "and that is why you need to prepare and become stronger. Are you ready to continue your training?" she nodded and followed the fatty to the training area.

"I'm going to teach you how to use RANGED magic attacks" Cartman continued "it's not easy, but being able to cup-a-spell from a distance can save you in battle. Allow me to demonstrate" he once again sucked in all the air around him, and using lightning-fast reflexes he managed to grab the fart with his bare hands and throw it at the dummy. "you see how it works? Now you try. Way back from where you're standing. Cup the magic, throw it at your opponent."

She did as she was told and threw her fart, only this time it was so strong that the Dummy unplanted itself from the snow and fell to the floor "Yes! YES! But, now let us see how you fare against a REAL OPPONENT! Hey, hey, Malkinson! Malkinson, could you come help us with something? Shh, Shh! Don't tell him – this is gonna be sweet" the diabetic ranger waddled over.

"Yes?"

"Oh hey Scott, could you um, spar with Douchebag real quick? He's gonna try out a new move."

"En garde!" Malkinson shouted, the new kid felt sorry for him.

The same thing happened to Scott as it did Kenny, the smell was revolting and powerful. "HAA! HA AHA AHA AHAA! Dude, that was sweet! You threw that shit RIGHT in Scott's face! HAahaha! All right, Scott, back to your post. Thank you, hehehehe." Scott stormed off angrily "Use it wisely in battle, Douchebag. And never on a man's balls. Now, go take a break before we head to our next mission. I will call when we are ready." The new kid nodded and walked away and over to Kenny who sat on the other side of the Kingdom.

She strode over and stood before the fair maiden that looked up at her curiously, no one was near them, they were all preparing for the upcoming battle "mphm mph mmh mpmh mhh?" she asked, the new kid didn't reply. They were both silent, the Princess was deciding something. When she made up her mind she patted the floor beside her. The new kid nodded and sat next to her. "mph mpmhmm mpy mmmmi mm mmp mpmm?" the new kid peered at the Princess with narrowed eyes, wondering if she should agree to Kenny's deal. Deciding that she liked the Princess she nodded.

Kenny smiled and pulled his hood and wig off. He was pretty handsome for a fourth-year student. He had messy blonde hair and kissable lips. "so what's your name?" the Princess asked, she had a nice voice.

The new kid was silent, her voice was no doubt rough from lack of use. Deciding that it was harmless, she leaned in and whispered her name. She wanted it to be a secret for now, at least until school. That and her parents told her not to tell anyone. Not even the teachers are allowed to say it to anyone. "That's a nice name. Your voice is pretty too" she smiled and blushed at his flirt. "hey, do you read Playboy?" she shook her head. The Princesses eyes widened and a smile grew. He was excited at the prospect of corrupting the new kid "let me show you!" he pulled out a magazine and flipped it open, the new kid's eyes widened as she stared at the beautiful women in lingerie and other skimpy clothing and there were even some women wearing nothing at all. They both remained silent as they stared at the sexy women, sometimes they commented on a photo they liked or giggled at the innuendos the magazine made or they made.

That was how their strange friendship started…through porn.