Disclaimer: Not one Elf.
Author's Note: So here this is… Later than expected, I know. I'd like to promise that the next update will be quicker but all I can say is I'll do my best.
Enjoy this chapter!
One Week Later: Saeldur
It is well past midnight when there is a knock on Saeldur's door. He cannot pretend he is not relieved. He has not been able to find pleasant dreams since Míron's death, and he has little more than a passing interest in the book whose pages he has been idly turning. Any distraction is welcome.
Saeldur's feeling of relief vanishes when he sees Arahael, dressed in the dark robes of mourning.
There is a moment of awkward silence. Saeldur's emotions are in a whirlpool of guilt and anger and sorrow. He cannot trust himself to speak.
At last he steps back from the door. Arahael strides into the room without a word.
They stare at each other until the silence grows too oppressive to bear. Saeldur bursts out, "What?"
"I want to know who killed my father."
Arahael's voice trembles with suppressed grief. Saeldur's stomach writhes with guilt, even as he feels a flash of frustration. He never asked to be put in this position. He did not incite Míron to sedition. He did not tell Melda to poison the Prince. He did his duty, a duty he does not regret for a moment.
All the same…
"I do not know." Saeldur does not know if he feels worse about the lie or the lack of sympathy in his tone. "Legolas has said nothing to me." That, at least, is true.
"Then ask him." Arahael grips the top of a chair, turning away from Saeldur. "The fool tells you everything. He told you what he remembers of the night Lindariel died. I did not understand then, but now I know his mother's death must have been far more disturbing than an attempt on his own life. Ask him and he will tell you who killed my father. I must know!"
"Why must you know?" Saeldur's tone is almost harsh now. It is the only way he can keep from giving himself away. "What will you gain from the knowledge? Your father was killed in defence of the life of the Prince. He had a knife to Legolas' throat. Whoever did it is guilty of no crime."
"The King may say so," Arahael says, low and fierce. "The council may say so. All the Woodland Realm may say so. But I will never believe it."
"Your father was trying to kill Legolas. It was an act of treason."
"For the good of the realm!" Arahael hisses. He draws several deep breaths before he goes on in a more normal voice, "Everything my father did, he did for the benefit of the Sindar who dwell here. I must know the truth, Saeldur. And you… You owe me that much."
"I owe you nothing."
"If you had only kept silent – kept silent, that was all – this would not have happened."
"No, Legolas would have died instead."
"It would have been worthwhile! You claim to be a warrior, Saeldur! I knew you had a soft corner for Legolas, but it never occurred to me that your courage would fail you!" Arahael glares a moment more, and then his face softens. "I will say this… I understand, a little. I did not earlier, but now… after my father…" He shudders.
"I know it is difficult," Saeldur tells him. "Do not make it worse for yourself, Arahael. If you understand so much now, you must also see that the only way to heal your heart is to relinquish your anger."
"You expect me to forgive my father's death?" Arahael snaps. "Would you?" Before Saeldur can say anything, he goes on, "We are… his… my father's funeral. Tomorrow."
"Yes."
"Legolas told you?" Arahael asks sharply.
"He did. And he said –"
"My mother told Legolas that she and I do not want to see him there, or anyone who claims to be his friend. Yes. That is true. It is tomorrow, at dusk."
"Surely you do not expect me to come?"
"Of course I do," Arahael says impatiently.
"Legolas is my –"
"Legolas is what?" Arahael snaps. "Your friend? Your commanding officer? Your brother in arms, as you are so fond of saying? Whatever he is, that did not prevent you from betraying all his secrets to my father. Was it truly affection for him that motivated you to save his life? Perhaps you were simply trying to save yourself from the consequences if anyone discovered your role in our plans."
Saeldur feels heat flood his face. "Do you think I was afraid?"
"Only a fool would not have been afraid of Thranduil's reaction. And I know you are no fool." Arahael's eyes harden. "I also know you are enough of a fool to be more afraid of Legolas' disappointment than Thranduil's justice. This, then, is your choice, Saeldur: you will come, and let everyone in the realm see where your allegiance lies, or I will go to Legolas and tell him everything."
Saeldur cannot suppress his sigh of relief when the guard at the entrance to the royal quarters tells him Legolas is in his room. He hurries down the corridor and knocks at Legolas' door, barely waiting for a response before opening it.
Legolas is by the sitting-room window. "You look worried," he comments, putting aside the letter he is reading by lamplight. "Is something wrong?"
Saeldur pours himself a cup of wine and perches on the window sill. "Míron's funeral is tomorrow."
Legolas nods.
Bile burns in Saeldur's throat. He takes a swallow of the wine to settle his stomach.
"Arahael wants me to attend the funeral." When Legolas simply looks at him as though waiting for him to continue, Saeldur bursts out, "He wants me to attend – when he has made it clear that he wants to see only those who supported Míron's sedition."
"Nobody could possibly imagine you supported Míron's sedition. You should go."
"I would not want you to think –"
"Saeldur." Legolas sounds faintly exasperated. "Do you truly expect I would hold it against you? Arahael is your friend. He has suffered a terrible loss. Regardless of what Míron intended or Arahael wants, that is true."
Saeldur feels relief. And shame. He knew what Legolas would say; he has not been Legolas' second for centuries, and his friend for longer, without knowing his generosity of spirit. It feels like betrayal to take advantage of it. Yet he cannot bring himself to confess, not so soon after Melda… after Thorontur. Even Legolas' capacity to forgive has limits.
"It is not just that," he says slowly. "Arahael does not know that it was I who killed… I cannot tell him."
"You do not have to tell him. Do you want me to speak to him? Is that it?"
"No, no, I did not mean… How did you find the courage, Legolas? After Candnaur died, when you came to my mother to tell her?"
Legolas' blue eyes grow troubled, enough to make Saeldur almost, almost regret his question. At last he says, "It was my duty, Saeldur. I have delivered the news personally to the family of every archer who has fallen under my command. Candnaur deserved no less. And I could hardly let you tell her alone… I will tell him if you wish, Saeldur. As your commanding officer it is my duty."
"Lord Thorontur spoke to me this morning."
If Legolas is startled by the abrupt change of subject, he does not show it. "The King has not yet decided what to do about him. He is an excellent Archery Master, but… if he is Archery Master, he will sit on the War Council. My father has not yet forgiven him enough for that. I do not know if he ever will."
"Will you?"
Legolas shrugs. "That hardly matters."
"You know that is not true. Your archers will look to you for guidance, no matter what your father says. If you do not forgive him… He can scarcely be Archery Master if the finest archers of the realm will not accept him."
"You want me to forgive him," Legolas says. Saeldur should not be surprised. After all, Legolas knows him as well as he knows Legolas. "Why?"
"Because he cares for you, and he acted without thinking… I am certain he blames himself far more than you possibly could. At least speak to him, Legolas."
"I will consider it."
With that Saeldur has to be content.
Míron's funeral is as difficult as Saeldur thought it would be. His parents are not there, of course. He does not want to think of what they would say if they knew he attended, with or without Legolas' blessing.
No member of court is there, save Míron's brother. Míron's family and a scattering of Arahael's friends stand by the graveside. They stare unabashedly at Saeldur, some with interest, some with suspicion. Saeldur makes note of their faces, but he is quite certain that anyone who was truly a part of Míron's scheming would take care not to be present.
He leaves as soon as he can. He wants nothing more than to return to his room unseen, go to bed, and pretend that the past weeks never happened. So it is not in the least surprising that he encounters Rochendilwen as soon as he enters the warriors' quarters.
"Where have you been?" she asks. "Lord Thorontur has been having some difficulty on the archery ranges."
Her eyes darken dangerously as she speaks his name. She, like most of the archers, has not forgiven Thorontur. It makes Saeldur wonder, again, if Legolas ever will. He thinks Legolas does not know the answer to that himself. If he cannot…
Saeldur turns away quickly before Rochendilwen can see his change of expression.
"Legolas says the King has not yet made up his mind," he says.
"It is not the King's judgement that concerns me at this moment. It is not –" She cuts herself off abruptly, probably having remembered that they are in the corridor and anybody might overhear. "In any case, he was searching for you."
Saeldur shrugs, uncomfortable. "I was occupied."
"You were…" Rochendilwen's eyes widen. She is far too perceptive. "No."
Without another word, she seizes his arm and drags him to her room, which is nearest. She pulls him inside and shuts the door.
"You were at Míron's funeral."
It is not a question.
Saeldur feels his face heat. "What if I was?"
"After everything he did? He tried to kill Legolas! And Arahael said –"
"Arahael was grieving and said more than he meant." Saeldur tries to keep his voice even, but he knows he is failing. "He is not the only one who has made that mistake."
"Do you take me for a fool? Arahael has no love for Legolas. His grief only made him admit it aloud. Was he happy to see you there?"
"Happy? At a time like this?"
"You know what I mean," she snaps. "The Elf who said he would allow no friend of Legolas' to cross his threshold allowed you to cross it. Why?"
Saeldur elects to tell a partial truth. "He thought I could tell him who… who killed his father."
Then he regrets it, as Rochendilwen's eyes meet his. The truth of what happened has been revealed to nobody from whom it could be kept. She does not know, she cannot know, but…
"Arahael thought you could answer that question for him?" is all Rochendilwen asks.
"If he did, he was disappointed. I know nothing."
Rochendilwen's mouth tightens. "You need not lie to me. I am not asking. But you had best be careful. You are playing a dangerous game, Saeldur."
"Legolas had no objection to my going to the funeral. I do not see that it is any business of yours."
Rochendilwen's face darkens for a moment, before she shakes herself and says, voice much more even, "Saeldur, I am not looking for an argument. You are as much my friend as Legolas is. I do not want you to lose yourself – and you will lose yourself. You think you are loyal to Legolas above all others, and so it does not matter what you do with Arahael because your friendship for Legolas cannot be shaken by anything. But Arahael's words are as poisonous as his father's actions. If you are not careful that poison will enter your soul."
What did you think? Good? Bad? Please review!
