"THE KEY TO HAVING NO FEAR IS HAVING NOTHING TO LOSE."
Season 2 Ep 19 Hail and Farewell CODA #MALEC
He can still remember the morning they had that conversation. He tried to laugh it off by saying "acid wash jeans", but Alec wasn't having it.
Looking at the young Shadowhunter lying next to him, arms holding him tight around his waist while he slept peacefully; Magnus had to fight the tears that's threatening to spill.
Old as he might be, but he was none the wiser when it came to love.
He'd been too careless, offering his heart so recklessly. For the first time in 100 years he thought it was worth it to have his heart broken again. What he didn't expect was that Alec would heal it. He was so addicted to the young Shadowhunter that he didn't think clearly.
Silently the warlock removed himself from the warmth of his partner, his lover; and as bad as he wanted to kiss those lips once more, he couldn't. It might just as well break his resolve.
Only after he closed the bedroom door did he dare to lean into the door, hands lingering on the doorframe whispering; "Goodbye, Alexander."
It wasn't until he had closed the door to his own apartment that he finally broke down, fingers clutching the omamori charm: "I'm sorry, Alexander," his shaking voice screaming into the air, again and again.
*
The Seelie Queen smiled widely at the fire message as it disappeared.
Speaking out loud, without really addressing anyone in particular in court; "a wise choice warlock. I'd really hate it if I had to hurt the young Shadowhunter, but lucky for you I didn't have to."
"But then I met you."; was his last thought as Magnus passed out after his twentieth drink.
He never wanted this pain upon Alec. Inevitably, love in their world had only but one outcome; and never happily ever after.
