Mischief Mage: Halloooo everybody. Finally i got some writing done. My exams have been eating my creative brain. Well here's the next chapter and it doesn't matter if you don't like it 'cause it was so much fun to write. So ...enjoy?

Note: The opinions of characters i express in this chapter or in any chapter don't necessarily reflect the way i see them or the way my game went. It was just useful for the plot.


The sunlight was rolling through the spotless windows at such a low angle that you could almost have played photon pool on it. It also signalled the beginning of the sun's slow set on the castle of Frelia where the Royal youths of Magvel were gathered in diplomatic peace talk, civilly cutting up the land confiscated from Grado like a cake. Actually, more like a chewy, badly cooked steak as, no matter what, it just didn't seem to want to divide in a way that pleased everyone.

Eirika pulled a thin lock of hair behind her ear wearily, just for it to swing forward again. Her thighs were numb on the wooden stool which she had been sitting on for four hours and counting. She held out a porcelain teapot that was decorated with delightfully free Pegasi that galloped around its base in an annoyingly cheerful way.

'Tea, Joshua?'

The ball of soft scarlet spikes lifted itself from the table to shake itself in a sleepy, 'No' before replacing itself on the polished oak.

Desperate to find herself some form of occupation, the Queen of Frelia motioned to one of the servants that was standing erect, back parallel to the wall with eyes that told her that this particular young man had a doctorate in the art of sleeping with your eyes open. She asked him quietly once he was beside her, 'How is Cormag?'

'Fine now, milady' came the answer

From beneath the curtain of red locks that was Joshua's head, came the words 'lucky bastard'

Sir Cormag, the one representative of Grado who had been called to be present simply so that the residents of the confiscated land could know which country's banner to buy as soon as possible, was a man of the battlefield who didn't know the King Ephraim or King Innes as well as Sir Duessel did (this in fact being the reason why he had been sent rather than the Obsidian General himself).

Unable to handle the … lengthy discussions of who should get which province, Cormag had taken to drinking whole pots of tea in a go and then taking large breaks to go to the bathroom. However, this tactic backfired as his hosts thought it impolite to continue the discussion without him. After the third hour, the urges for action that welled up within the man had overwhelmed him and he had cracked the refilled teapot full of scalding green tea over his head; cutting himself rather nastily and making his skin turn a nasty, bacon-y colour and texture. He was sent to a doctor and given leave to remain there. No doubt he was now gallivanting happily up and down the infirmary with his head heavily bandaged, knocking over bottles and important looking instruments.

Eirika looked up and down the table, taking in the dozing leaders and ducking just in time to avoid a small porcelain figure that shot in her direction from the two leaders who weren't asleep. She heard the white figure hit the floor and heard its various body-parts skitter in all directions along the stone. Within seconds, the pieces were being swept up by some glassy eyed servants. She peered over the edge to see whose little head was being swept up by a roughly bristled brush; because these weren't just figures, they were figurines.

Naturally, when a band of largely young men and women with designer hair colours saves the world from a nicely purely evil Demon King, within three months of the end of the war, the rights to the story are bought and the merchandise is to the bazaars. Eirika had been greatly amused and had bought a 'Silver Knight' plushie with large button eyes and horse with opposable legs and tail. Meanwhile, Innes had sued the producers of the 'Prince Innes; he talks, he screams, he gesticulates (MSTs (Magic Source Tubes (wow, brackets within brackets within brackets)) not included).' Anyway this miniature Dozla that had smashed into tiny iddy biddy pieces was part of a War of the Stones set. Kids could also buy boards that were divided up into grids in which you could conduct little battles with anonymous red enemy units. Rather silly really.

The 'discussion' had commenced with Innes and Ephraim 'civilly' explaining why their own nation was most deserving for the confiscated land. Innes had then called Ephraim foolish using a large number of words and using, for the first time in Eirika's experience, the word 'biscuit' in a insulting way. They had taken a Cormag-needs-to-go-pee-really-really-bad break and recommenced with another 'civil' discussion, Ephraim growing slowly redder and redder with frustration, finally telling L'arachel to keep her goody-good fuzz head out of matters that happened in the real world. If Innes had not been envious for not thinking that one up himself, he would have given Ephraim a pat on the back. They had broken up for lunch then, partly because their table had broken down the middle thanks to L'Arachel. Finally, they had brought in a new table and Innes and Ephraim had, after three more hours of 'discussion', had brought in the miniature models and were now working out which nation had provided more units to the conquering war party.

'Look, Innes' said an exasperated Ephraim for the umpteenth time, 'I'm telling you that if you are going to decide this by how many warriors each nation produced then Renais is the obvious victor'

Innes leaned back on his chair, saying in a dangerous voice, 'Is that so?'

Ephraim impatiently seized a handful of porcelain figures and placed them firmly on the table as he listed their names, making a faint 'donk' sound as they hit the polished wood.

'Look. Seth, Franz, Lute, Artur, Ross, Colm, Neimi, Forde, Ky-'

'That's cheating Ephraim!' Innes cut in like a well aimed knife.

'What!?'

Innes stood and leant over the table, snapping up the little figures of Forde, Kyle and Eirika.

'At the end of the war, Forde became engaged to Vanessa, Kyle to Syrene and Eirika to…' he paused a moment, he probably hadn't thought much about their marriage so far, 'me. As a result, they moved into Frelia and took up commissions and royal titles in the service of Frelia. Not to mention,' he added, 'Ewan is now my personal slave'

He finished with a smug look on his face. Ephraim just gawked.

But eventually the King of Renais composed himself and, having given up trying to make Innes see reason, he pulled mini-Tana and Amelia across to his side.

'Well Tana became Queen of Renais and Amelia lives with Franz now in Renais'

Innes scowled and seized another.

'Well I get Cormag, he swore allegiance to Frelia'

'Well Myrrh is basically allied with Renais. Plus, she's part-dragon that must be worth something!'

'No way Ephraim, one body, one count; no matter the size or species.'

'Hey!' Ephraim cried out, snatching away a small model on a horse, 'L'Arachel isn't from Frelia! She has her own nation to represent'

'Well she doesn't really seem to care about the land in this instance' Innes retorted, gesturing down towards the other end of the table where she was swirling the dregs of her tea around in the saucer.

'So?'

'So I claim her as she was closer to me than she was to you. I also get all of her warriors.'

'Well I get Dussel and Knoll!'

'Pfft. A grape general gone to seed and a string bean in a raincoat; big deal. I get Saleh as he did train my current slave and- Oh!' an idea struck him, 'I also get Joshua and the inhabitants of Jehanna.' And so, using his arms like a snow plough, he pulled a large pile of models towards him, a smug smirk plastered on his usually scowling face.

But Ephraim had other ideas.

'Oh no you don't!' he roared, leaning right over the table and pulling as many of the Jehanna models back to his side. 'Joshua joined Eirika long before you were on the scene'

'Eirika is with Frelia, you moron!'

'Hey don't call me a moron! Besides, Eirika acted at that time on behalf Renais!'

'I'll call you a moron if I want! Anyway, what kind of relationship did you have with Joshua!? At least I talked to him'

'Losing your retirement savings in games of head or tails hardly counts as a friendly relationship-' Ephraim paused for a minute, mouth screwed uncomfortably as it battled with his calm demeanour to pronounce the word 'loser'

'I can prove we're friends!' Innes spat.

He hurried down to Eirika's side of the table and yanked Joshua's head up from the tabletop by his shoulders. The King blinked groggily.

'Fsssttiph?'

'Joshua, you're my best friend aren't you?' Innes asked in a voice that indicated the only non-fatal answer would be 'yessiree my bestest, bestest buddy!'

But Joshua took a gamble and adopted a look of mild mortification.

'Innes, stop that!' Ephraim smacked the King's arms and pulled poor Joshua from his grasp.

'There now' he said, brushing his friend down whilst Innes sulked, 'Innes can be like that, but we'll always be friends won't we?'

Joshua tried to nod but couldn't as Innes had wrapped both his arms around his head, holding him still.

'But my dear friend, Joshua' he said with a vampiric smile (very white and very dangerous), 'Think about that game we played together. What was it you made from it? Five grand maybe? Not that I mind, mind you' he added, grinning meaningfully at the head he held in his arm.

Ephraim shoved Innes roughly, forcing him to loosen his grip around Joshua's angular jaw.

'You snake, bribery won't get us anywhere! Besides,' he said, turning and smiling in a familiar way to the now thoroughly shaken red head, 'Joshua has far too much integrity to kneel before the treachery of a tyrant, isn't that right? By the way, Joshua you were interested in purchasing some land in Renais, well there is a lovely patch that oversees the lake not five kilometres from the castle. I would be honoured to gift it to you, free of charge.'

Rolling his eyes, Innes pushed Ephraim out of the way to kneel before Joshua's chair.

'Don't be ridiculous Ephraim, Joshua is tired, and we've been talking for hours. He needs a break, a sleep. Would you like your room upgraded? There's a much more spacious room on the second floor with an ensuite bathroom. I could have Ewan attend you if you lik-'

'How about a night out on the town?' Ephraim panted as Innes was knocked over, 'The seafood here is exquisite and the wine is just as-'

'A new Pegasus foal has been born recently, it could be well utilised on the Jehanna landscape'

'I employ the greatest blacksmith and blade dealer on Magevel, I could get a new edge made for you if you like'

'How about a tour around Frelia in the flying coach?'

'A new suit'

'A banquet'

'Dancing girls!'

'Wine'

'Gold'

'Myrrh'

'Frankincense'

'Other general worldly pleasures!'

'Horses!'

'Land!'

'Castles!'

'Ships!'

'My solar brace'

'My teddy bear!'

'Hey you nong! That's my teddy bear!'

'Nah-uhh! My mother gave it to me for my birthday when I was ten'

'No, you shot that one into the lake while you were playing with nidhogg. I'm telling you that that's mine!'

'I'm telling you, you berk, it's my bear and if you want it, you're going to have to take it by force'

'I can go with that, shrimp'

'Bring it on toerag'

Joshua viewed the growing cloud of fists, feet and teeth with wide-eyed calmness. After deciding that he had seen enough, he lay his head back down on the polished oak but not before looking across at Eirika again.

'Yeah, I could go for some tea.'


Mischief Mage: You can expect the next chapter sooner than this one took...but not too soon. I gotta have some summertime don't i?