I couldn't leave that poor huntress like that! Love and Hate part 2!


Love and Hate: Mending

Two years have passed and I feel empty. I feel empty because you stole my heart. Do you keep count of the days since you left me? I count the days and I count the hours, but you know what? I haven't thought about you in three months until now. I think I can go on with my life finally. Who knew that you would have such a hold on me.

Now I sit here in Prontera, watching the fountain in the center of the city. I came here before any place to see if I could find you. I never did. A priest in the church told me how they found you before death could claim you. He also told me that you left as soon as you were healed.

After I left the church that day, I wandered around doing odd jobs with whomever I found. None of them could replace you. As time goes on, I wonder why I love you when it's plain to see that you wanted nothing to do with me. I guess the world doesn't always make sense.

I think I'll always love you no matter what, but I found someone else. Someone who loves me back. You know what the amusing thing is? He's the same priest that told me that you left. He led me out of my maze of despair. I'm not sure if it's love or not, but he cares for me. He would never hurt me.

"Sweetheart, I'm glad you could make it," he says as he approachs. He is so kind, so gentle and loving. Not like you at all. I stood and turned to see him, a smile on my lips. I might care for him, but I still love you. I've come to the conclusion that you cannot love two people the same way so it's possible to love more than one person. I fall into his embrace, thoughts of you leaving me.

Thankfully, you are becoming nothing more than a memory these days. I'm so glad.

"How could I miss a day to spend with you?" I laugh, looking up into his eyes. As he lets me go, we turn to walk through the crowd, hand in hand.

As we all should know, but tend to forget, happiness never lasts forever. I have to stop walking because my knees will buckle and give out if I continue. Why do you do this to me? Tell me how I can feel such love for you and hate you equally as much?

You stand there, glaring at us like we're doing something wrong. You who I thought I would never see again. "Nathan…go away. Just leave me alone," I mumble weakly. You shake your head and turn your gaze next to me. You seem appalled that a fellow priest is with me. "What do you want?"

"Come with me," you order. I know something terrible is happening.

"Don't go," my dear priest next to me pleads. I think he knows that I'll fall back into my old ways with you if I leave. I look at him sorrowfully and ease my hand out of his.

Love is stronger than anything I've ever encountered. The fact that I intend to leave someone who cares about me for you, is positively insane. "I'm sorry…" I whisper to him as I leave his side. Taking slow steps toward you, I tremble with anticipation, fear, and sadness. These emotions should never walk hand in hand with love.

You grab my arm and lead me through the streets, but I just can't take this. I plant my feet and refuse to move anymore. "Nathan, please! Just tell me what you want so I can go, okay?"

You turn to me, grabbing both my arms and pull me up to to you. Just a few more inches and we would be touching. You scare me so much with that look of your. Cold, angry eyes bore into me. "Stupid woman. Why would you go off with some other priest?"

"I don't understand why you're so mad! You left Prontera two years ago so you obviously saw no reason to stay. Besides, why would you care what I do now anyway? You...you left. Not me."

"Are you blind?" you ask, your grip tightening a bit.

"Blind to what? I try to overlook the fact that you hate me so if that's what you mean by bl—"

Your expression changes into something like hurt. It looks strange on your face. "You are blind…" I still don't understand what you meant by that and I think you can tell. "Do you think I would have kept you around all that time if I hated you?"

"What was I supposed to think? How many times did I tell you that I love you? How many times did you ignore me? Did you ever stop to think that you were ripping my heart into pieces! Did you ever think that it would hurt me so badly?" There's no hiding the tears in my eyes. Being with you brings up old memories.

"I…" you seem at a loss for words. With a little strength and no resistance from you, I wrench my arms from your grasp and stare. I bring my hand up and slap you. You merely touch your reddened cheek and watch as I start to walk away. "You said—you said love in present tense…" I hear you say. I stop walking but I just can't bring myself to turn around.

"Yeah, I know." Please don't make me go through this again.

"So does that mean…?"

"Yeah, for some godforsaken reason I still love you after all this time." I sigh in defeat.

"I didn't know what to say or do back then, you know?" I don't have time for excuses. You can say anything you want, but I'm going to leave. I can't deal with this anymore. We both have fallen silent and only the murmurs of the Prontera crowds fill the air.

"You were always so forgiving so why can't you forgive me now?" I was forgiving. Now I want to shove one of my arrows into your heart to see if you like how it feels. I can hear you stepping closer to me and I don't want you to, but I can't bring myself to move.

"Audrey, look at me damn it." You forcibly turn me around, your face hovering just in front of mine. "I can't get rid of you no matter how hard I try. You make me feel things that I don't want to and I can't get rid of it. It's just...completely foreign to me." As soon as you stop talking, you press your lips to mine.

Why was my life so ridiculous sometimes? If I could pull myself away, I would. Unfortunately, I like this far too greatly, even if I can't seem to reciprocate the kiss. "Sorry…" you murmur on my lips.

"You had better make me believe that you're sorry." I'm thinking this is too good to be true. It would be a cruel trick, but I wouldn't put it past you.

"Before I left, remember what I told you to tell me? I wanted to hear it one last time if I didn't make it back alive. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't have asked you to say that. If I didn't love you, I would never have told you to travel with me. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't have been jealous to see you with another man…"

I push you away gently and shrug. You would not be getting away with this that easily. "We'll see if you can make all the hurt go away and all the sadness you caused disappear. Maybe I'll forgive you then." You nod, knowing that you have a lot to make up for. As I begin walking through the crowd, you fall into step next to me.

Know what the funny thing is? I'm smiling and you're smiling. You, the stupid smiling priest, and I, the no longer broken huntress.