You loyal readers should know by now that I'm a fan of angst and angst I shall write! It's just the way I am. No fluff here just pure, devastating angst. Read on :3

The song is Swimming Upstream by Ra. They're so awesome. I heart them :D


Rain

The sun disappeared right before my eyes

My heart turned and walked away

I gave you the keys to an open door,

And you threw them right back at me…

She had been so cold and unforgiving with him. She was the epitome of assassins and the example that all others should follow. Cold, distant and ruthless perfectly described her. To her, there was no room love and warmth and it was the one thing he could offer that she did not have. He had found her alone on a rooftop in town after they had finished their job. It was simple and quick and of course, there were no mistakes. With this assassin, making a mistake was death to you. She did not care if you were a fellow assassin or not. She always disappeared after the jobs and left him to finish his own work of disposing the body. Once his job was finished, he looked up at the overcast night sky. It would probably rain tomorrow.

"Sahara?" He asked softly, as he reached the rooftop she had taken. She remained silent and continued to stare down into the empty streets. He took a few steps closer but kept his distance as she had a volatile temper. He waited a few minutes until she decided to acknowledge him. She turned her head slowly, the faint winds tousling her shining black hair.

"What is it, Demetrius?" She waited patiently for a reply, which surprised most people. Her temperament was explosive at times but her training in the ways of the assassin would teach anyone to have an immeasurable amount of patience. Sometimes it was necessary to watch a target and wait for hours. Her glassy midnight eyes watched him with a ferocity that never seemed to dim.

"There's just something I want to say to you." He said quietly. The two of them were like day and night, people would commonly say. Demetrius was different from her is just about every way. He was an assassin, yes, but unlike her, he felt things. He was a ruthless killer but he did feel remorse for the unfortunate victims. He was not as serious as she always was. He did everything in his power to keep her in her calm state, as keeping her calm was the same as keeping her happy. This was all that mattered to him. His own happiness could be put on hold if he could make her life as easy and simple as possible. "For so long I just wanted to make you happy. It seems that I do this out of love for you and I just wanted you to know that. If ever you—"

"Be quiet. I don't need anything from you. Especially not your love. What a stupid notion." She turned away from him and looked back out to the empty street. Demetrius turned his gaze down to the shingled roof. What had he done? "Never speak another word of this as long as we are working together." Sahara then stood and promptly disappeared off the roof without another word. He didn't know why he loved her but he did. The world works in strange ways sometimes and most of the time, it hurts. What was he really expecting from her? He should have expected the wrenching in his chest but he could never have prepared for it.

Once again, I'm alone with a pain in my chest

So sad, so sad, so low…

The clouds start to gather, here comes the rain

You meant more than you could know…

The sad thing was that they would be working together for a long time to come. Demetrius felt a drop of rain fall lightly on his cheek. A few more soon followed, dappling his dark clothes. What fitting weather for the situation. She never gave him a real reason for the rejection. She only gave a standard, though harsh reply. Now, he could never tell her he loved her again. What was it that she detested so strongly about him?

I can't say I miss you

You're always around

I can't say I love you cuz you'll cut me down

I'm wounded and hurt,

And that's my fault

But I made my decision with my back to the wall

And I gotta move on from here…

He knew in the back of his mind that she would react the way she did but he also knew that if he did not tell her then, he never would. He could not risk anyone else to take her and he could not risk not telling her for his own sake. Now he would have to face her every day, knowing that she hated him even more. Why did it hurt so much? The rain had begun to fall harder, the pattering on the rooftops increasing.

I've done all that I can do

Yeah I gotta move on from here

I've been swimming upstream for you…

Of course it was a losing battle but he had to move on. The only thing that stopped him was the irreparable tear in his heart. It would not heal as time went by. Month after month, he felt the same. The same hurt and the same realization that there was something wrong with him. What did she hate him so much? He could not be near her for fear that her hate would grow more.

As time passes by, I can't explain

It's hard to be next to you

Is it my face or is it everything

That you're not attracted to?

Day by day, he knew what she felt and there was never any question about it since she had brushed off his confession. He tried to forget, he truly did, but something would not let him. Perhaps it was only because she was always around and therefore she always reminded him. They grew further and further away with time. He stayed with her and they took care of their targets and went about life as they always had. Only, unseen distance grew between.

I'm so lost and confused when I look at you

Your eyes your lips so soft,

And when you see me I turn away

Cuz I know that I turn you off

I can't say I miss you

You're always around

I can't say I love you cuz you'll cut me down

I'm wounded and hurt

But that's my fault

I made my decision with my back to the wall

I've been swimming upstream...for you…

They continued until one night he never returned when their task was finished. She never cared that he did not come back. She never cared that he had offered her his love. He watched her leave that night mixed feelings running through his mind. She would be gone and he would be free of her. Wasn't that what he wanted…? No more could he fight upstream and no more could he hope. His heart merely shut down and left him alone in the rain that night.


A/N: Yep! Angst is just torturous, isn't? XD I love it! Btw, yes I used "cuz" because it's part of the lyrics. I would never use it otherwise. Lol!