Another part! I felt like Love and Hate was unfinished so I added another edition. The priest that Audrey left for Nathan has a story of course ;D I think I really like the way this came out but I may add another final part after this one.


Love and Hate: Reverie

Audrey…I miss her touch, her voice. I see her and him sometimes in Prontera and it makes me angry. I don't know what to do. When she left me that day in the streets of Prontera, I feared for her and I still do. I try not to think of her but she invades my thoughts.

As I walked through the church courtyard, I tried to think about the church and the acolytes studying around. I love being a priest but I'm beginning to regret being here. I never thought something like this would happen. "Brother Misael!" I heard a few young acolytes calling me. I walked over, smiling as best I could. These three are the youngest in the church, but they have a bright future. "Can you help us?" they asked in unison.

"Of course." As I recited verses from the bible and askd them questions, my mind wasn't there. I'm thinking of her again. She didn't mean to hurt me the way she did, but it happened. She was doing so well with me and healing slowly but surely. I remembered the day I first saw her.

--

She had rushed into the church, moving frantically. She looked terrible with the bruises and scrapes and blood stained hunters garb but she was still so pretty. She was looking for someone. I went to her and spoke gently, trying to calm her. She was looking for a wounded priest and I knew exactly who she must have been looking for.

When she said his name was Nathan, I nodded and said he had come here at deaths door. She started to cry and asked if he was alive over her sobs. She clung to me, crying on my shoulder. It was apparent that she was exhausted and worried sick, so I told her that he was alive and well but not here. He had immediately left when he was healed. We told him that he should rest, but he resisted vehemently. He told us that he had to leave. We couldn't really stop him. He had always been stubborn like that.

She thanked me, but still cried. I had no idea what had happened or why she was still upset, but I didn't press the matter. I let her cry to her hearts discontent on my shoulder, healing her minor wounds while she was there. We sat on the steps near the altar for a long time but I didn't mind. I stroked her hair and murmured comforting words and it seemed to help. I received a few sympathetic looks from passing priests. They had seen how upset she was.

When the crying stopped and she was relatively calm, she heaved a sigh and looked up at me. She still looked distraught so I asked why. She seemed reluctant to tell me, but she did. She told me what had transpired with her and Nathan and how he had been mortally wounded. She thought he was going to die. I realized, before she even told me, that she loved him. Much to her despair, he didn't love her back.

She had hoped with her whole, broken heart that he would be here, but no, he left. If he did love her, he would still be here, I told her. She nodded though it hurt her to hear it. She then thanked me for healing her and letting her use me to cry on. I said it was all right and she was welcome to do so anytime.

I could tell that she was hopelessly devoted to a man that couldn't stand her. She graced me with a small smile before she stood to leave. As she began to walk away, I told her to come back after she was rested. I wanted to see that she would be okay. She blushed a little and said she would come back. She needed someone to heal the wounds left by Nathan. I could do that for her at the very least.

--

"Brother Misael? Are you okay?" the little dark haired girl asked me suddenly. I snapped out of my reverie momentarily and smiled. I'm sure that I'm not showing anything other than my normal self, but she seems to sense my inner turmoil.

"I'm fine, Darsea. Let's get back on track, shall we?" I continued the lesson and fell back into my memories.

--

The next day, I was tending the gardens in the churchyard when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see a refreshed huntress dawning a fake smile. She was trying to be happy, I could tell, but she wasn't really.

"I'm glad you came by," I said to her. She came up and hugged me, thanking me profusely for helping her yesterday because not everyone would have stayed with her. I felt I had to be honest with her after that. I told her that she should forget Nathan. He didn't deserve her. She helped me with the gardens that day but she didn't say anything during our time together. There was no need; we understood one another. When she left, I fell asleep thinking of her. I didn't think she would come back, but I still wanted to make her smile a genuine smile.

The next morning, I ventured out to the acolytes and gave a lecture to some of the older ones about the values a priest or priestess should follow. As I explained, I saw her. She had come back again. She sat amongst the acolytes and listened as I taught.

I couldn't help but be happy that she had returned. There was something about her that was inexplicably wonderful. I didn't know what it was that drew me to her but I wanted her to stay with me forever. I was never one to believe in the whole "love at first sight" deal because it seemed unrealistic, but with her…it was the only explanation. When the lesson was finished and the acolytes left for lunch, she walked over to me and smiled. I hadn't done anything, but here she was smiling and it was real. "Misael?"

"Yes?"

"Do you make everyone feel this way?" she asked.

I was a little puzzled. "What way do you mean?"

"Do you make everyone feel so important? Like a strangers troubles truly matter to you?"

"I think everyone matters. No one should feel badly."

She nodded and gazed across the courtyard to where the acolytes were laughing and eating lunch. "Thank you for everything. I'm going to try to move on. I want to move on so your kindness won't have been in vain."

She was wrong in what she said. I put a hand on her shoulder and sighed. "I don't want you to move on for me. I want you to move on for yourself. I can't bear to see you, or evern anyone else like this."

"You and Nathan are so different." I frowned at her words. I didn't like Nathan before and I really didn't like him now. He was selfish and stupid to have hurt someone so kind. I knew she still loved him with her whole being and I couldn't change that, but I could help her heal. "Do you…do you want to go into town with me for a while?" she asked.

I said yes, of course, and followed her. We walked around the bustling streets of Prontera, talking quietly about nothing of importance. It didn't matter what we said, it only mattered what we felt. When we arrived back at the church at dusk, she stopped outside the doors. Her eyes were welling with tears and I wasn't sure why.

I asked her what was wrong and she said told me everything about her life. All the good and all the bad. She told me of her feelings for Nathan and how horribly he had scarred her heart. I held her close and wiped away her tears. I wanted to take all of the hurt from her and make it go away forever.

She hugged me tightly and said she felt safe with me. She felt safe and loved. She said that the things I was making her feel were so foreign but wonderful. It seemed as though she had forgotten what it felt like to be cared for. Night had fallen and I still held her. I didn't want her to go but when she pulled away, she smiled and said she would be back tomorrow. I knew she would be back but still…I wondered if it was really possible to love someone with your whole heart and soul after just three days.

She arrived as promised the next day while I was teaching another lesson. She sat and listened while I spoke. After the lesson, she came up to me and said she felt lighter, like a huge weight had been lifted from her. I was only too happy to help. She asked if I wanted to go to town again and I said yes. We had lunch and I bought a jade rosary necklace for her and told her to keep it close to her heart if she ever felt sad.

She told me that she would think of me when she was sad. I was elated, though I kept it to myself. From that day, she was always near me. She had her good days and bad, but little by little, she grew stronger. I wanted to tell her just how much she meant to me as the days went by but I knew that I would only harm her progress. Being with her was enough.

Just over a year later, she surprised me one morning. She didn't greet me with her normal hug. Instead, she kissed me. It was soft and shy but it was plain to see that she did feel something for me. I put my arms around her and kissed her cheek. We stood for a short time in the courtyard, holding each other.

I had prayed for her and I had prayed that she would return my feelings. I had never pushed her into it and I would never have imposed myself on her. I only wished for her to feel the same and she must have. Things moved slowly from there but I didn't mind waiting. Everything was perfect until we went for our usual walk around Prontera.

She suddenly stopped walking and as I followed he fearful gaze, I saw him. Nathan was there before us. I held her hand tighter, praying to God that she would stay by my side. Nathan glared at me, obviously not liking the fact that I had taken her from him. "Nathan…go away. Just leave me alone," she said softly. He shook his head and refused to move. I could see the war of emotions rage within her. She was confused and didn't know what to do. "What do you want?"

"Come with me," he ordered. My heart beat faster and faster in my chest, realizing that she was indeed debating on going with him.

"Don't go," I pleaded with her. I didn't want her to fall into her old routine again, getting her heart shattered once more. She stared at me, her eyes full of sorrow. I knew what she was going to say...

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she eased her hand out of mine.

I watched him take hold of her arm and pull her away. I was frozen in place, my world crumbling around me. She looked back at me once, a look of regret on her face. I walked numbly back to the church and sat on a pew in the chapel. I buried my face in my hands and sat for hours. What would I do now? I know my fellow priests were concerned but were unsure of what had happened.

Finally, one of my good friends sat next to me. "Misael, what happened?" he asked. I couldn't bring myself to tell him because it would only make it more real to me. "You can tell me. We're really worried about you. Is everything okay with Audrey?" He must have noticed the way I winced at her name. "Tell me what happened."

"Nathan came back. She...she went back to him." He was the only person I had told everything to. Everything about her and I and her situation with Nathan.

"I'm sorry, Misael. I know how much she meant to you. Give yourself time to heal and I'm sure you'll come out okay. I'm positive that you'll find someone else. If anyone knows that you deserve someone to make you happy, it's God. Just have faith."

"I hope you're right…" I sighed.

The thing was…I wasn't okay. I gave myself time and I still wasn't okay. I kept telling myself that she didn't mean to hurt me and she honestly didn't. She told me once that you couldn't love two people the same way, so it comforts me that might still love me. It isn't wrong to hope.

All I could do was try to keep myself busy and not think about it. It works fairly well but sometimes, when I lay awake at night, I can't help but think of my time with her. It makes me a little happier knowing that I helped her at least. I know I'm not the first man in history to save a girl, love and lose her but damn it hurts. As is in my nature as a priest, I was grateful for the time I did have with her. Her love was selfless and warm and I couldn't help but love her back. I guess as more time goes by, it'll ache less and less but I'll never forget.

--

"See you later, Brother Misael!" the three acolytes called as they waved. With their lesson finished, I remained where I was. Then, I heard the worst thing I could possibly hear. "Brother Nathan! We haven't seen you in such a long time!" The little acolytes are too young to understand what kind of person Nathan is.

As I look over to them, my breath catches. Audrey is with him. She looks the same as ever and always so pretty. After a moment, she looked in my direction and the smile faded from her face. She looks away quickly. Just two tiny gestures hurt me more than I can say. As Nathan busied himself with another priest, Audrey looked at me again but this time she mouths a few silent words.

"I still love you."

I'm not sure how I feel now. I love her and forgave her long ago but I still long to kiss her and to hold her again. Then again, I'm still angry and maybe a little jealous that she went back to him. I want to talk to her, but I can't ask the things I want with Nathan there.

I left to work on my assigned chores around the church, trying not to think about anything by my task at hand. The floor needs swept. Yes, Misael, think of the floors. Audrey, why did you come back with him? Damn it, Misael, think about the floors, not her! I can only wonder…

"Misael…?" She was standing in the doorway of the chapel, a soft but sad smile on her face. As much as I wanted to look at her, I couldn't. "Please, I want to talk to you." Her voice was a little strained, maybe from worry. I stopped moving my broom and turn to look at her slowly. I just want to scoop her up and steal her away forever. "I've wanted to apologize for a long time now. I'm so sorry! I didn't--"

"I know how you felt. I know how compelled you felt to go back to him if it's anything like I'm feeling now. I think love is a wonderful and horrible thing."

She seemed at a loss for words. She just walks over and puts her arms around me, laying her head on my chest. "I won't stop loving you. I can't stop but…I love him. I'm happy. I just wanted him to love me for so long and now he does."

"I know." She let go of me and walks away, out of the room. She does love me. I just wish things were different. As dusk falls, I finish my remaining chore only to find Nathan still working on his. I walk slowly to him and say just a few words. "The day you screw up is the day I take her back."