This is a fun little cross over collab between Halcyon Clouds and me! Luzien and Angela belong to me and Yure and Hiroki belong to Sal. Enjoy!
12/15/06 NOTE: I'm cleaning up my stuff and moving a few things around. My Luz/Hiro torture fics have also been added to Stories of Ragnarok.
Trans-Dimensional Meeting of Doom!
Luzien lounged into the church's main hall one day, not knowing why. Angela was called to her own paladin businesses and he had nothing to do. There was not a soul in sight...well...almost not a soul in sight. Except for that person napping on one of the long benches.
From the looks of her attire, she was a scholar. Her long sky-blue hair draped over her shoulders as she slept with her excessively sleeved arms folded across her chest...her chest...her...chest.
He stared, nice breasts.
Her arms were blocking him from a better view though. Blue eyes traveled over the body of the snoozing scholar, undressing her in his mind. Oh yes, he had a good imagination. Very good indeed. He looked down the hall in both directions and saw no one. With a mischievous and rather lecherous smile, he stood and walked quietly over to the blue haired woman. Boldly, he reached out and touched her arms, meaning to uncross them. She would never be the wiser if he had a little feel, right?
Thus with his predatory outstretched hands, he gently took hold of her arms, intending to cop a feel...when...Her eyes opened wide, instantly and fixed upon him. "EEP!" Luzien was startled and he dropped her arms. It was strange, her eyes seemed to look at him, yet they seemed to look...through him?
"Uh...Hi there." He tried to make the situation just a little lighter. There was no telling what women would do...but he was, after all, devastatingly attractive and he had never met this scholar before so she wouldn't know about his...erm, hobbies, would she?
"Ahem...what's a gorgeous scholar like you doing in a place like this?" He managed to say while putting on his most charming smile. He thought it was a good line. She stared for a moment before her eyes narrowed slightly.
"You had every intention of groping me, did you not, sir?!" She leapt from the bench and approached him with a finger pointing at him accusingly. "I am NOT here for your perverse pleasures despite my dancing abilities! I have half a mind to whip you senseless!"
Luzien took a step back, taking in the situation. Did she say whip, he wondered excitedly? Wait--did she say dancing? Wasn't she a scholar...? Now he was confused. From somewhere behind her, swish! The scholar flung out the long, leathery weapon known as the whip. Clack! One of her high heels found their way onto the church bench. Luzien bent down for a better look, damn that thin piece of brown cloth that was in the way!
"My whip shows no mercy, my good sir!" She warned, completely oblivious to the fact that he was trying to look up her skirt. "And there will be no 'stop' word!"
Luzien was excited but at the same time frightened. Where did that whip even come from?! Disappointed that he wasn't able to see much, he stood and turned in the opposite direction to formulate a quick plan of action. His plan: Seduce!
Before he turned, he felt a firm object hit his rear followed by a sharp stinging. "Turn around while I punish you! You may bow at my feet and take your whipping!"
"More please!" He said, a lecherous grin spreading across his lips as he faced her and dropped to his knees.
When the whip was just about to land on Luzien's eagerly awaiting form. Someone burst loudly into the church hall. It was another high priest, black hair unruly but certainly not falling out of the department of looks when compared to Luzien. He saw the scene before him, and froze in shock.
"Wh-what are you doing, Yure!" He cried at the scholar, who currently blinked at him with the whip held high above her head. The other high priest kneeling in front of her groaned, his fun was ruined!
"Come back in five minutes, okay?" Luzien said, hoping to deter the "interruption". His fun was always ruined! The scholar he now knew as Yure, glanced at the other high priest blankly. "The lady is about to give me my punishment."
"Yes, I am! Are you looking for punishment as well?" She asked as she pointed the whip at the other man.
"N-No!" He hated that whip. He could never figure out where she kept the damned thing! He groaned as he realized what had happened. Yure was not actually awake.
"You don't understand! You're in perilous danger!" The black-haired priest came running up to Luzien. "She's not like this...usually!"
"Who is she to you anyway?" The taller priest barked, annoyed that the other man would not leave him alone.
"She's my...uh...special someone." He blushed a bit and answered. "And in any case! Get away from her!"
"ARE YOU TWO QUITE DONE TALKING AND READY FOR WHIPPING?"
"NO!" "YES!" The shorter and taller priest answered, respectively.
Luzien grabbed the other priest and pulled him down. "Proceed, oh sexy one!" The shorter priest straggled to get up but he was held firmly in place. Yure raised the whip again and as she was about to swing, yet another voice and interruption entered the hallway.
"I don't even WANT to know what's going on here." Said an exasperated blond paladin. All she knew was that there was a scholar with a whip about to beat the living daylights out of two priests on the ground. One of which had a stupid grin on his face and she wasn't at all surprised.
Never mind the scholar, there was something even more disturbing. "MY husband, pinning down another man?!" She exclaimed.
It was then that Luzien realised something very very horrible. In his attempt to pull down the black-haired priest, they had...inadvertently ended up in a compromising position on the floor. In the church. The scholar seemed to suddenly feel drowsy as she teeter tottered and slumped down, sleeping soundly and innocently.
"GAH! GET OFF ME!" The oriental high priest flailed and protested, Luzien jumped up as if he was electrocuted.
"I...I can explain!"
"I didn't know...you li--" She started to say but was silenced by Luzien.
"ANGELA! I do NOT like men that way! I can't say whether HE does but I don't!" He managed to say as they scrambled to their feet. The paladin looked back and forth between the high priests suspiciously.
"Then what were you doing?"
Luzien's eyes widened as he ran through his mental list of non-perverted excuses. "Hehehe...I was, um, well you see-"
"Taking advantage of my Yure is what you were doing! Pervert!" The dark haired priest shouted accusingly. Angela arched a quizzical brow in Luzien's direction.
"Taking advantage?!" Luzien shouted back, "Angela, you saw didn't you! That scholar had a whip! Me? Taking advantage?! Absurd!"
"Yaaawwwwnnn...Hiroki...what took you so long?" Said scholar gave a large yawn and woke up. "What? Why are people staring at me?"
"You uh...where's the whip?" Angela studied the mage class, the blue-haired woman seemed normal enough.
"Yure! Are you hurt? Did that priest do anything to you?" The black-haired high priest asked worriedly. "The church is full of old perverts these days..."
"Hey watch it!" Luzien retorted. Him? Old pervert? (Well...pervert part is right...)
Angela shook her head. "It looked to me like you were taking advantage of the situation...and enjoying it." She added, a displeased tone in her voice.
"So uh, what's going on?" Yure asked with a puzzled expression. "And what whip are you talking about?"
"Nothing!" Luzien then turned to Hiroki and glared at him. "I'm not old either and you-OWWWW! Angela! I'm not five years old and you're not my mother!" He whined as the paladin grabbed his ear and pulled him close to her.
"What exactly happened here anyway?" Angela asked Hiroki. Surely she would get a better answer from him rather than her dimwitted husband.
"Uh...well...uh...Yure has...an interesting...um...personality..." The high priest stuttered, Angela raised an eyebrow, what has that got to do with anything?
"Well...she was supposed to be waiting for me here...but she must've fallen asleep...and...HE! He must've woken her up! With nasty intentions in mind!"
"I uh—NEVER!" Luzien denied all guilty charges, "You were irresponsible by leaving her here to sleep and catch a cold while you go do about your business! I was just being a gentleman! Yea, that's right!"
"Hmm." The paladin said. "Somehow I fail to believe that. I'll bet you were trying to feel her up while she was sleeping.
"What?! I would never! Ah, one question...is she a scholar or a dancer? Or both?" Luzien asked. He really wasn't sure which by what he had seen thus far.
"I'm a scholar. Obviously." Yure pointed out. Couldn't they tell by her attire?
"But you were just..." Luzien was even more baffled.
"Ah, you must be talking about Ulyssea..." Yure the scholar put a finger to her chin and mused.
"She has a name?!" Hiroki backed a step; this was new to him.
"Yes," The scholar answered, "She is a vengeful dancer who committed suicide because she couldn't stand being an icon of sex in the eyes of men anymore. I guess she likes me. But she's harmless; she would never possess me while I'm conscious."
"HARMLESS?!" Both priests nearly yelled. The dancer, Ulyssea, was about to whip them into oblivion for LUZIEN'S lechery. She called that harmless?! Hiroki sighed, he would never get used to that.
"That's...really strange." Angela laughed.
"Huh. It's kinda hard NOT to see a dancer as a sex icon though. They're sexy in those skimpy outfits!" Luzien was practically salivating at the thought until he received firm smack to the back of his head. His dear wife was rough sometimes.
"So...uh, if you'll excuse me. I think we'll be going before Rein- I mean, the Pope sees me again..." Hiroki looked shifty as he took Yuresia's hand and started to leave.
"Aaaahhh...Hiroki Muramasa...there you are...I was wondering...if you could give another lesson--" A voice came from the altar.
"No! You're hallucinating! I don't exist!" The black-haired high priest dashed out without looking back.
"That was...even stranger..." Angela muttered, what a weirdo couple.
"Oh this is troubling..." The Pope remarked pleasantly to himself, but turned to the other high priest present in the room. "In that case...would you replace him?"
"Doing what?" Luzien asked, oblivious.
"Give a lesson...about sex."
A/N: Look out for my upcoming one-shot, Forbidden Topics...Not So Forbidden! You've read what happens when an innocent priest gives a lesson on sex but soon, a far less innocent and more perverted priest will teach! You should go read Sal's Forbidden Topics and her other stuff if you haven't!
