Title: Pets troubles

Warnings: OOC, out-of –character, no relevance with the Naruto timeline (like the first two chapters) and hopefully, humour.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

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"JIRAIYA!" the screech resounded throughout the apartment. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SNAKES!"

The white-haired book writer sighed and stood up from his perverted-writing-inspiring perch to lumber to the door and go find out what the prissy princess was screeching about. He found that he need not go far for as soon as he took a step forward, his bedroom door was slammed open and a furious and almost hyperventilating Orochimaru stalked up to him.

He looked down. Orochimaru glared up at him before waving two snakes under his nose and screeched again. This time the screech blasted through Jiraiya's eardrums because it was delivered at a close range.

"LOOK AT THEM! THEY ARE IN KNOTS! FRIGGIN' KNOTS! THEY COULD HAVE DIED! YOU…you SADISTIC BASTARD!"

Jiraiya would have raised an eyebrow at the term Orochimaru used to call him, it being something that reminded him of the idiom involving a black pot and a black kettle, if he was not so busy squeezing his eyes shut and plugging his ears to preventblood-vessels-bursting from being at close proximity to something akin to a radio that was adjusted to the loudest volume.

Suddenly, there was silence. Jiraiya opened his eyes and looked at the pale face of his apartment-mate and teammate, to find himself intercepting a sword that was swung in his direction. After a few minutes of dodging and some hair-raising close calls to losing his potency, (Orochimaru seems to have developed a penchant to targeting THAT place) Jiraiya managed to capture and hold the sword, which liked him castrated, in his custody.

Another few minutes was spent on catching breaths for both sides. Being the one with more stamina, Jiraiya recovered his breath faster and was privy to the first word uttered, which he did.

"What did I do anyway?"

Orochimaru raised his head, which was previously bowed for panting purposes, to look at Jiraiya in the eyes, stabbed a finger in the direction of a pile of what looked like two tangled snakes with swirled eyes instead of their usual piercing ones and made the stabbing motion again for good measure before gritting out in a restrained voice.

"See this? Does this look familiar?"

Jiraiya jostled his memory and remembered. It was his work. After all, nobody could tie such magnificent knots like he could as they do not know bondage like he did- he was the notorious writer of Itcha Itcha Paradise which was rated as the top five perverted novels in the Konoha Magazine.

Oh, he could go on and on about his wonderful novels, about how they were so good that they were even made into movies, how statistics had shown that about one fifth of the Konoha population owned the novels and how he was receiving fan letters from even people outside of Konoha or so says his manager.

He would actually go on and on about them if it were not for the fact that Orochimaru was still spotting a murderous expression on his face which was unlike his typical evil expression. Evil was alright because it was Orochimaru's nature but murderous was not, even if it was sometimes part of Orochimaru's character, because it usually meant that Jiraiya's potency was if danger. With that in mind, Jiraiya veered his thoughts back to the topic and gave his answer in a placating tone.

"I…see…but it is not my fault. They were trying to eat my toad."

"Who asked your toad to cross them in the first place!"

"Hey! It was just harmlessly hopping along and minding its own business when your snakes tried to make it their lunch!"

Orochimaru sneered. "For your information, snakes are cold-blooded so they sleep during the day and would not wake up until something disturbs them. Also, if you had known that snakes eat toads, why did you even have one here in the first place?"

Jiraiya frowned. "I like toads just as you like snakes. It would be unfair of you to tell me not to keep them."

"It is my house." Orochimaru stated.

"We are teammates."

"When have I been team-oriented?"

"I offered to pay rent but you refused even though you knew I could afford it."

"I did not, and still do not,want to take money from the likes of you."

Jiraiya hesitated in his reply. He would have asked why Orochimaru agreed to take him in but not asking said question was a condition that Orochimaru had stated to allow him his stay and he did not really want to be kicked out so he decided to change the topic back to the pet problem.

"We could come up with a compromise."

"My snakes are still having the free reign of the house."

Jiraiya sighed. "My toad will stay in my room?"

"Alright. It is a deal."

"Are there anything more, princess?"

The sword that Jiraiya was holding in his hands suddenly disappeared and reappeared with its sharp tip nudging between his thighs. An instant analysis of the situation showed that there was no time to sweat out beads of perspiration so Jiraiya awaken his shinobi reflexes, stilled his lower body and rapidly made a few hand seals. In the next moment, he was gone from his room with a puff of smoke in his place-a remnant of a teleportation jutsu.

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Author's notes: Compared to the first two chapters, this is just a drabble. Next, you would be wondering, how this chapter with more words, could be a drabble whereas the first two, which are shorter, are considered to actual stories (for me anyway). Well, I had the first two thoroughly planned out before writing them but this was only based on the ideas of both having pets, which are predator and prey.

The top and bottom parts are written on separate days.

(If you look carefully, you can spot a little shonen-ai going on. At least, I did.)

Anyway, may you have a giggle after reading this and the usual stuff that makes people look at you weirdly.

Also, read and review please.