This story is in answer to the Batcave challenge:

Write a short conversation between Tank and Ranger about our girl, Steph.

A big shout out to the wonderful ladies over at the Batcave!

As usual, I don't own anything and I'm not making any money off of it.

A Conversation

Rangeman Office, 10:25 PM

"Everything go okay today?"

"Sure, Boss, no trouble. You all right? You look tired."

"I'm fine."

"If you say so…"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Hey man, none of my business. I just heard the conversation earlier, is all I'm saying."

"You're damn right it's none of your business. What conversation? Don't give me that look, what conversation?"

"The one that ended with you slamming the receiver down? I know, since you're king of the emotional outbreaks it's nothing special, but…"

"It slipped out of my hand."

"Uh huh. I'm sure it did."

"God. How is it that a tiny girl can have so much power over a man?"

"Last time I checked, power had nothing to do with height or weight."

"You know what I mean!"

"Yeah, I do. Do you? Does she?…Didn't think so."

"Look, it's complicated, okay?"

"Surviving in the desert without water is complicated. Talking to a girl just takes guts."

"You saying I'm a coward?"

"Don't narrow your eyes at me, Ranger, that doesn't work with me. Yes, I'm saying you're a coward when it comes to Stephanie Plum."

"It's…"
"Complicated, I know. Jeesh! What are we, in fifth grade here? You want her. She wants you. Go tell her!"

"How do you know she wants me?"
"Everybody knows that. And as soon as you get your head out of your ass you'll admit that you want her too."

"I've killed men for less, Tank, watch out."

"Ooooh, I'm scared now. I'll meet you in the ring if you want to, it's not gonna change the facts."

"What are the facts, oh omnipotent one?"

"You want to be with her. Plain and simple."

"I don't do relationships."

"No, you just give cars and advice and help do every chick who asks."

"I'm her mentor."

"Good one. That's one you can hide behind every time someone accuses you of having a relationship with her."

"I'm not hiding. It's the truth."

"Nice growl. I'm still not buying. Look, I don't have enough fingers to count off the ways you two have a relationship. All I know is, I've known you half my life and you've never had a non-relationship like you have with her."

"She's with Morelli."

"Oh so now it's not complicated anymore, now she's with another man. I see. And God knows you're so honorable you've never wanted a woman that's already with another. Stop growling, it'll give you wrinkles!"

"When did the situation change from it not being your business?"

"I'm making it my business. Her best friend is my girlfriend. I'm tired of hearing you two whine!"

"I don't whine!"

"Neither does Lula, but it's all the same. She and I can see it, you two can't. And you're making us sick."

"You're free to leave whenever you want to. Leave your badge and your gun."

"Hey look, I admire your stoic demeanor. It's you. But this is me, you don't have to pretend you don't have feelings with me! Go talk to her!"

"Will that get you off my back?"
"Sure will!"

"Calling her right now."

"I'll leave you to it then. But I'll be back if you're not gone and on your way over to her house within five."

"Babe, are you home? I need to talk to you…"