AN: Apparently has PMT and chapter 3 won't work for some people, so i've uploaded it again for those that haven't been able to access it :o)
fingers and toes crossed it works
Chapter 3
"We never understand how little we need in this world until we know the loss of it"
As the week slowly passed, and the sessions with the Doc seemed to roll into one, he'd finally made up his mind to go and see what Rodney was up to. It had been nearly 3 days since he'd sent him packing and was only now starting to feel a bit guilty. Getting bored with his own company, he decided that self imposed isolation just wasn't his thing…not this time anyway, and that even fighting with Rodney was better than being by himself for another day. He didn't know why McKay was avoiding him, but if he didn't speak to him soon, he knew it would only get harder. However, the only hard thing at the moment was actually finding McKay to apologize. Eventually after searching the lower decks for the last half an hour, he finally found him huddled underneath one of the ancient consoles, working furiously on the crystal colored circuitry. Watching from a distance, all he could hear was McKay talking to himself.
The room he was standing in seemed to be similar to that of the chamber they had found a few months ago, filled with devices that they hadn't yet initialised. The glass stained windows looked out towards the north tower of the control room, and for the first time in several days he lost himself in the crashing of the waves that echoed in the chamber. It was peaceful. He stood memorized for a few minutes before remembering the reason why he was there in the first place.
"What are you doing?" Sheppard finally asked aloud, startling his friend out his concentrated efforts.
"Ow!" McKay shouted sitting up quickly at the sound of the unexpected voice, and in doing so banging his head in the process. A long drawn out nasally whine followed from the area where McKay was working. Rubbing his head he frowned in annoyance, "The least you could've done was warned me that you were standing there."
"Sorry. Did you know you sound like a mad scientist when you work?" Sheppard asked, curious to know if he realised it or not.
"It helps with the thinking process." McKay answered appearing to sound uninterested. Ignoring his friend once more, he returned his attention to the console. "Anyway, what are you doing down here?"
"Looking for you actually," he told him truthfully, squatting down to see what McKay was working on.
"Why? Did Elizabeth kick you out of her office again?" McKay questioned absently, pulling out what looked to be a burnt crystal from the unit, and eyeing it suspiciously.
"No. And for the record that was only the once," the indignant reply came as John shuffled his feet to get in a better position.
"Where did you learn to count? You do know that I've been talking to Zelenka don't you?"
"Fine it was twice."
"What about when you…"
"All right, so it was three times. It's not like you've never been kicked out before," John finished with a hint of annoyance. This wasn't getting him anywhere.
"So what do you want?" McKay asked distracted at something he found.
"I came to apologize if you must know."
Putting his tools down, he sighed. Great! Just what I need right now on top of everything else I'm working on. "What did you break this time?"
John was getting frustrated with him. "Nothing. And would you stop fiddling with that damn thing and at least look interested when I'm trying to apologize."
Sliding out from the under the consol, he wiped his dusty hands on his overall, and then cutting to the chase asked, "So if you didn't break anything, why are you apologizing?"
That's what he liked about Rodney, direct as always. "About the other day. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to piss you off, I was just…out of sorts so to speak." There, he'd said it, and it actually came out easier than he expected.
"Oh that? I didn't even notice." Rodney replied offhand, and then taking a moment for his thoughts to catch up, carried on. "You know you really need to learn to not be so sensitive, it's not a great leadership quality."
"Thanks, I'll remember that for future missions." John retorted with a hint of sarcasm, the likes of such appearing to be totally wasted on his friend.
And that was that. Apology accepted, whether it was warranted or not, at last they were back on speaking terms. But still he needed to know. "So why have you been ignoring me if you weren't upset?"
"It's called 'working'." McKay stated doing his head bob action as he normally did when emphasising a point, "You remember the concept don't you? I know it's been a while, but…"
"McKay." It was a plea for him to just shut up and spit it out.
"Well, if you must know I was working on a surprise for you."
"A surprise? For me?" Shocked at the kind gesture, he smiled at his friend. Then waited for him to explain what the surprise was, but after a minute of waiting patiently for an answer and getting no response from his otherwise occupied friend he continued, "Well?"
"Well what?" Completely sidetracked by the whirring of the ancient device, he completely forgot Sheppard was standing there waiting for an answer.
Rolling his eyes, he thought the whole conversation was getting ridiculous. "My surprise."
"Oh that. It's not finished yet."
"So I don't even get a hint?" Sheppard asked hoping that if he bugged him enough McKay would just give in and tell him anyway.
"No you don't." McKay smiled as the large brick red console finally came to life. Ignoring his friend once more he turned his attention back to the machine he'd been working on for the last few days. Turning around to Sheppard he asked, "Are you still here?"
"Fine, I know when I'm not wanted," he replied indifferently, trying to get a better perspective on what McKay was working on, and getting no joy. "Call me when your finished on whatever it is your doing."
"Yes, yes, yes," he waved dismissively, shoving him out of the chamber when he wouldn't budge. "Go and annoy Elizabeth some more. I need to concentrate, and you're in my way." McKay finished bluntly, finally getting rid of his annoying distraction.
Satisfied that he'd at least sorted out one friendship, he knew that there was only one other person he needed to talk to: Ronon. John wasn't under any illusion whatsoever that the conversation with him was going to be as easy as it had been with McKay, far from it. Fully aware of Ronon's feelings surrounding the Wraith, and with his own actions that day, he trudged down the corridors of Atlantis to find him. Knowing full well where his friend would be, and had been for the past few days. A sense of dread built up inside and his stomach churned. This was definitely one conversation he didn't relish having.
With all the down time his team were having as he 'recuperated', as Doctor Beckett liked to put it, everyone seemed to have gone their own way within the last few days. Ronon had spent most of his off time sparring in the gym with Teyla, of which he honestly believed was his unconscious way of venting his frustrations at the world, but mostly at him. And if he were being honest with himself, if their roles were reversed, he would probably feel the same.
Watching his colleagues sparring was impressive. Their carefully crafted actions as they each evaded the other's weapon was, to say the least, mesmerising to watch. He doubted he would ever be as good as Teyla, partly because he didn't think he had the discipline in him to train, but also because as he once told Ronon, he was just naturally lazy.
"Hey!"
Distracted by the voice, Teyla lowered her guard and consequentially, Ronon took the advantage throwing her hard across the floor.
Oops. His timing was definitely off today. "Sorry," he told her sheepishly walking towards her and picking her up off the floor. "I didn't mean to distract you."
Grabbing his hand, John hoisted her up. "Don't worry, colonel. We were almost done anyway, weren't we Ronon?" She told him, before diverting her gaze to the man who had just knocked her on her butt. Her eyes silently conveying to him that this was the perfect opportunity for them to deal with their issues.
Completely ignoring her question, he simply picked up his things, replying, "I'm done." Ronon stated brusquely, before staring at John intensely with a look that John thought could potentially rival Medusas'.
"Ronon, give him a chance." It was a heartfelt request from her. Teyla knew they needed to talk it out, but ultimately she knew how stubborn Ronon could be. Sighing, she watched as Ronon ignored the colonel, and then stomped towards the exit, not giving either one of them a second glance. With her attention now directed towards Colonel Sheppard, she watched as he stared after him. "I'm sure he will come round, colonel. He is…just angry about the situation. I am certain that when he calms down, that you will be able to talk it through."
"I know." John replied solemnly as he stared at the now vacant doorway, where his friend had once been, sincerely hoping that their friendship hadn't been irrevocably damaged by the choices he had made. "Thanks for trying anyway."
As he got up to leave, she placed a hand on his forearm. "I'm here for you if you ever want to talk"
John nodded in understanding leaving her alone with her thoughts, it was going to be a long week.
