Chapter 5
"Angry people are those who are most afraid"
He'd tried calling him on the radio, but to no avail. Either the radios were on the fritz, which he doubted, or Rodney was definitely avoiding him this time. After searching for the last 45 minutes, his mood hadn't improved. But it didn't matter now; after searching everywhere he could think of, he had an idea where he might be hiding out, and why.
Eventually he found him with Ronon and Teyla, hiding out in his lab. "I've been calling you for the last half an hour, why the hell didn't you answer your radio?" The words spat out before he had a chance to calm down.
"I know you have. Why do you think I'm hiding in here with my bodyguards?" He told his friend simply and honestly moving nearer towards the tall Satedan as if gaining a place of safety..
"Colonel, Rodney told us about the 'gate addresses." Teyla told him calmly, not quite sure how he would take the news.
And from all accounts, not well.
"Oh he did, did he?" His bloodshot, sleepless eyes remained firm on McKay while he tried to reign in his temper.
"Well I didn't exactly say it was a secret, and after what Elizabeth said…." His voice trailed into nothingness. Hello foot, this is mouth…The last thing he wanted was for his friend to know that he'd been talking about him behind his back, but it was too late.
"After Elizabeth said what, Rodney?" His face grew redder as his attempts at controlling his blood pressure fell by the wayside.
Ronon interjected, "Look Sheppard, we have an idea of what you're planning. McKay said…"
Sheppard cut Ronon off. "McKay has a big mouth!"
The words cut through Rodney like a knife; his friend thought he had betrayed him.
The harshness in Sheppard's voice was now clearly aimed at Ronon, who had obviously decided that now was definitely not the time to keep his mouth shut. "And, I thought you weren't talking to me?" It didn't matter that Sheppard's plans were to seek Ronon out later on and apologize - now he was on the defensive, and his friend was right in the middle of the firing line. "Rodney, I want those 'gate addresses." It wasn't a request.
"No." McKay stood firm; he wasn't going to let his friend go off and do something stupid. His whole plan for helping his friend had backfired. The idea was that they would all help him. But he'd heard Sheppard in the control room, and heard the shouts loud and clear – he'd never put his team at risk, which only meant one thing, whatever his plans were; he was going it alone.
Sheppard moved within an inch of his friend, his face burned with fury. "Give me the damn 'gate addresses, Rodney."
"Colonel, please." She tried to intervene, but he refused to look at her. Her commanding officer's attention was firmly placed on Rodney; and it seemed as if an unforeseen battle of wills was taking place between them. "We understand your frustrations, but Rodney is only saying 'no' out of concern for you. We want to help you."
Finally his eyes met hers. He pointed his finger aggressively at her - warning her to keep her distance. It was between him and McKay. "Stay out of this Teyla, it's got nothing to do with you."
"That's enough." Ronon's voice was firm and authoritative as he took his stance in between them. This was getting out of hand.
"Ronon, it is okay," she told him softly placing her hand on his chest in an effort to calm him down, and let him know that she could handle things herself.
"I thought you were my friends," Sheppard spat vehemently facing each of them in turn, "But friends don't go sneaking around behind each other's backs."
Pulling a face at his friend's absurd statement, Rodney couldn't help himself and jumped right back into the firing line. "Don't be stupid, of course we're your friends"
McKay's words fell on deaf ears; he was beyond being reasonable at this point. "You know what? Forget it!" Each word was enunciated as he made his last point loud and clear. "I don't want your help!" With that, he left his friends reeling at his harsh words. Nothing they said was going to make him change his mind about going after Kolya.
It was pointless trying to stop him now, when ultimately they knew the only choice they had was to keep him safe and make sure he didn't do anything stupid. Thankfully he wasn't cleared for duty yet, which for all intense and purposes was their safety net for the time being.
"This is all my fault."
"Don't blame yourself, Rodney. You had no way of knowing that he would react like this." She tried to reassure him, but her skills didn't seem to be working very well lately.
"I'll go talk to him." Ronon said staring into nothingness, ashamed that his own actions may have contributed to his friend's unhappiness.
Nodding in compliance, each of them felt in some way responsible. It didn't matter that they had no reason to; it was just that their friend was hurting, and they felt helpless.
He couldn't believe that Rodney had flatly refused to help him, so much for friendship. But it didn't matter, he'd get his answers one way or another and he didn't need McKay's help to do it.
Within seconds Ronon had caught up with him, John could feel the soft vibrations under his feet getting stronger.
"Sheppard." He called out, quickening his pace until he caught up.
Stopping dead in his tracks, his eyes burning with anger, he turned to face the tall Satedan man standing casually as if nothing Sheppard said could phase him. He didn't really need to say the words, his body language said it all, but he couldn't keep his harsh words in check any longer, "What do you want, Ronon, because I am not in the mood."
"I can see that." There was no anger or animosity now in his baritone voice; it simply reflected that he was concerned.
He knew the only reason Ronon had followed him was to talk him out of it. Ronon had been through a similar ordeal, and as a result understood what normally motivated him - but not this time. "If you've got something to say, spit it out, or don't waste my time."
He cut to the chase. "You're crazy if you think you can get Kolya this way. You know that don't you?" He waited for his friend to speak, but received nothing but stony silence. He baited him in the hopes of getting his friend to open up. And if anger was all he was going to get, then he'd take it in a heartbeat. "Do you really think he's out there rushing into setting up another trap after what just happened? Like any good leader, he'll regroup his forces and wait until the time is right. It's a good lesson." He told him with a note of finality, incorporating a subliminal warning to his friend to back off, or risk serious consequence.
Sheppard clenched his fists in frustration; no matter what he did he couldn't get anyone to understand. His voice grew in volume as he tried once more to get his point across. But it was a futile gesture; everyone seemed oblivious to the danger that lay ahead. "He's out there planning his next strike against us, and I seem to be the only one who gives a damn."
Whether he agreed with Doctor Weir or not, it was irrelevant. He always followed the chain of command; it had to be that way, or people died. And living on Atlantis had shown him that they respected the same values he did, and he wasn't about to cross that line - even if it was to help a friend. "You have no choice."
"Don't bet on it!" All rational behaviour had gone out the window, and he walked away resolute in his plan to do whatever it took - even if it meant disobeying Elizabeth.
Although night had settled in Atlantis, and most people were in bed, John found he couldn't sleep; too much dark imagery assaulted his mind. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Kolya laughing at him, urging him to take vengeance. The skeleton staff shuffled around the base of operations, not that it was really necessary; Atlantis was like a well-oiled machine. His eyes were blood shot from lack of sleep, the shadows under his eyes were becoming more pronounced as the days passed slowly; he was living on pure adrenaline. He needed access to the database, but after several failed attempts at finding the 'gate addresses of the Genii outposts he had almost given up finding them. The only way this could happen would be if someone had deliberately buried the information. He clenched his fists in frustration.
"Colonel, can I help you with anything?"
Zelenka!
"Doc, your timing couldn't be more perfect." The blonde haired Czech smiled at being wanted. "I need some information, but I can't access it. Any chance you can give me a hand?"
"What is it that you are looking for?" Zelenka enquired skimming his hands over the ancient database.
"McKay said he had uploaded some information regarding the Genii, but I can't access it. Can you do a search for Genii outposts, or Genii history? I'm looking for anything that shows a 'gate address."
"Of course." Within only a few seconds, the scientist realised what the problem was. The confusion with what he was reading made him lapse into his native tongue, "Tato does ne mít smysl?" he said out loud, and not to anyone in particular, as his eyes scanned the information on the readout.
"What?" He really needed to get himself a Czech dictionary.
"Sorry, this makes no sense."
He peered over the small man to gain a better perspective. "What's the matter?"
"I don't understand. The information is encrypted. Why would someone do that?" Zelenka scratched his head in confusion, before trying an alternate method to extrapolate the information.
McKay!"Can you override it?" John asked knowing full well what the answer was going to be.
Zelenka seemed doubtful; he looked up to see a dejected man standing before him, and wished he could come up with a solution. "It looks as if someone has input their personal code to block the data stream. I'm sorry, colonel, without access to that, it could take a few days."
Damn him!He'd never seen the colonel so despondent before. Fully aware of what the young man had gone through, it pained to see him like this. "What about Sora? She would probably be aware of at least some of the history involving the Genii, maybe she can help?"
Sora! Of course, why hadn't he thought of it before, she worked with Kolya, and had trained with him for some time before the seize on Atlantis. She had to know. "I owe you one, Doc."
He smiled; pleased he could, even if it was in a small way. "Glad to know I can be of help."
"More than you know, Doc. Believe me." And then he was gone again, running off into the slightly illuminated corridors of the Lantean city.
As the night drew to a close, John watched from his quarters to see the sun starting to rise in the distance. Running his hands over his face, he could feel the puffiness around his eyes from lack of sleep, that and the massive headache, which bored into his skill showed just how tired he was. His normally kempt appearance was marred by stubble, which had far exceeded his normal 5 o'clock shadow. He'd never allowed Kolya to get to him this way in the past, but this time it was different.
Sarcasm and wit had always been inherent in him when he went up against Kolya, and he'd never lost sight of that, until now. Whether it was from the fact that the Genii commander had surpassed a level of inhumanity that had taken Sheppard by surprise, or the fact that he'd learned that Kolya had deliberately and purposely carried out experiments with the Wraith, and on innocent people in an effort to attain his goal. He honestly didn't know. But it wasn't just that. Something else had taken place on that planet; he knew it instinctively. He could feel it driving him forward. With each passing day it grew stronger. And today was the day it was going to be silenced once and for all. The pain and suffering Kolya had inflicted on him was nothing compared to what he was going to do. There was no way in hell he could risk Kolya doing that to any member of his team…his family. And he had to be stopped.
He allowed his hands to flow through his rakish hair and let out a slow releasing breath. He was beyond tired, that much was too apparent. Walking over to the mirror, the reflection in front of him appeared to be that of a stranger. His usual tanned appearance now looked sallow. The sparkle he usually held in his eyes had long ago disappeared, and all that was left standing before him was a broken man searching for justice.
Consequences be damned. He had to do this. Not just because he believed what he'd told Elizabeth that day in her office, but because he couldn't live with himself knowing that Kolya was still out there. Each day it tore at his soul. He knew he was being irrational – he wasn't that far gone, but when he weighed it up against what he would lose if he didn't go, there was no comparison. And so it had to be this way.
Staring out of the window, dawn was breaking; people would be waking soon. He had to hurry. He couldn't take the chance that they would try and stop him. The early morning clouds parted to allow the sun to rise across the ocean and he knew it was time to go. He'd already gotten all the information he needed from Sora and now he was as ready as he was ever going to get. Glancing back across to the ocean one last time, the echoes of the words he told Teyla reverberated in his head, I'd do anything for any one of you. If I had to give my life the way Ronon was going to, I would. This was his family; the only one he'd ever known, and he was damn well going to protect them - no matter what the personal cost might be.
His backpack felt heavy as it nestled between his shoulder blades, with his P-90 fully loaded Colonel John Sheppard prepared to head off into the unknown. Not that, that wasn't uncommon since he arrived in Atlantis, but this time though, it heralded a certain amount of finality as he climbed into the jumper that had brought him at one time or another to hell and back. It had saved him many a time in the past, and hoped against all the odds that it wouldn't fail him now.
Peering over to the other shuttles in the jumper bay, he wondered if he would ever see this place again. And even if he did succeed with his mission, what the future held for him in Atlantis. He was disobeying a direct order; there was no taking away from that fact. Ultimately it could mean the end for his stay in Atlantis, or worse - his career in the Air Force. Shaking his head, he had to get rid of those thoughts, because they were liable to get him killed; he couldn't have any doubts or hesitations. Without any more delay he started up the engines. With already disabling the communiqué from the jumper to the control room, he knew he had the element of surprise on his side. As the craft powered up, his fingers deftly worked their magic on the layout in front of him, and within seconds he had manoeuvred himself into position.
As soon as the doors opened he descended towards the 'gate room. He knew he would only have a few minutes before the klaxons began sounding, but he was ready. His adrenaline kicked in one more time as the ship lowered in front of the 'gate. He dialled the address that Sora had given him as the alarm bells rang around him. It wouldn't be long now before they had found out where he had gone. Time was running out – in more ways than one. He ignored Radek's shouts of warning to him, and as the 'gate came to life. The security teams had now made their way to the 'gate room; their weapons aimed directly at him. He murmured an apology and sped through the vortex to his awaiting destination; he'd done it.
End of part V
AN: I hope I got the czech translation right. If not 1000 apologies and I hope it wasn't too big a cock up, lol.
