Inside the castle, SpongeBob was in a large bath tub playing with some bubbles, since he loved bubbles so much. Then Danny Fenton dumped a bucket of water on SpongeBob's head.
"Washed up from a shipwreck, huh?" He said to SpongeBob. "That's terrible, but we'll make you feel better." Danny picked up SpongeBob's outfit and looked at it. "I'll just get this washed for you."
Gary poked his two eyes out of the pocket. Before he knew it Danny threw the outfit into the tub. Frankie washed the clothes and talked to the other laundry maids.
"Well, you must've at least heard about this guy."
"No." Trixie said, "He shows up in rags and doesn't speak. Not my idea of a prince."
Gary was being washed by the maids without being noticed. Then he was hidden in a shirt's pocket and put on a hanger being taken to a different room.
Frankie continued to talk. "If Sandy's looking for her man, I know a couple of highly available ones right here."
Gary jumped through a window and saw dead fish that have been axed, boiled, and empty snail shells. He fainted at the sight of it.
Meanwhile Bernie, Corneil, and Sandy were in the dining room table.
"Oh come on, Sandy, get real. Great looking guys just don't swim around rescuing people in the middle of the ocean. If that were true, I'd change my career to a lifeguard." Bernie said.
Sandy was looking out the window wearing a pretty pink dress and said, "I'm tellin' ya Bernie, he was real. I'm gonna find him and I'm gonna marry him."
Then they all saw Danny taking SpongeBob into the room. "Come on. Don't be nervous." Danny said encouraging SpongeBob.
SpongeBob came out wearing a black tuxedo, a red bow tie, and shiny black shoes.
Bernie walked up to Sandy and said, "He cleans up good, doesn't he, Sandy?"
"Wow, you look…great." Sandy said, not knowing what to say.
SpongeBob blushed a little.
"Come, come. You must be starving. Let me help you." Corneil said helping SpongeBob into his chair. Bernie helped Sandy into her's.
"Not often we have such a great looking dinner guest, huh Sandy?" Bernie said.
SpongeBob noticed a fork in front of him. Remembering what Patrick said, he brushed it onto Corneil's fur. Corneil felt weird, but after a while it felt nice. Sandy and Bernie raised their eyebrows in confusion. SpongeBob immediately put the fork down. The Bernie was lighting up a match.
"Bernie what have I told you about smoking that pipe." Corneil said
"What? It makes me look manly." Bernie noticed SpongeBob staring at him. "See, he thinks so." He gave SpongeBob the pipe and since SpongeBob thought it was for making music, he blew into it and black dirt was all over Bernie's face. Sandy and Corneil laughed, and then Sandy coughed, "I'm so sorry, Bernie." Danny walked up to Sandy and said, "Hey Sandy, you're smiling again for the first time in weeks."
Bernie was wiping his face, "Yeah, yeah. Hey Danny, what's for dinner?"
"Something you're gonna like. Chef's making his specialty: escargot."
Gary peeked over and saw a little blue creature in a chief outfit. It was Blooregard, singing a tune in a French accent as he was cooking.
Blooregard: Le poissons
Le poissons
How I love le poissons
Love to chop
And serve little fish
First I cut off their heads
Then I pull out their bones
Ah mais oui
Ca c' est toujours delish
Le poissons
Le poissons
Hee hee hee
Hah hah hah
With clever, I hack them in two
I pull out what's inside
And I serve it up fried
God, I love little fishes
Don't you?
Gary hid under a piece of lettuce.
Blooregard: Here's something for tempting the palate
Prepared in the classic technique
First you pound the fish flat with a mallet
Then you slash through the skin
Give their belly a slice
Then you rub some salt in
Cause that makes it taste nice
Blooregard noticed a moving piece of lettuce. He picked it up and saw Gary.
"Zut alors, I have missed one!" He said as he picked up Gary.
Blooregard: Sacre bleu
What is this?
How on earth could I miss
Such a sweet little succulent snail?
Quel dommage
What a loss
Here we go in the sauce
He threw Gary in a bowl of sauce.
Blooregard: Now some flower, I think
Just a dab
Blooregard threw some flour on top of Gary, causing him to sneeze.
Blooregard: Now I stuff you with bread
He stuffed bread inside his shell.
Blooregard: It don't hurt 'cause you're dead
And you're certainly lucky you are
'Cause it's gonna be hot
In my big silver pot
Toodle loo mon poisson
Au revoir!
Blooregard threw Gary toward his pot. But when he looked back Gary was sitting on the table inside his shell.
He picked him up with a fork and stared at him. "What the heck is this?" He wondered. The Gary poked his head out of his shell and bit Blooregard. "Ow!" He cried out in pain as he dropped Gary. Gary made a run for it, the angry Blooregard saw him on the counter but touched the stove instead. When Gary was slithering on the floor, Blooregard grabbed his cooking knife and jumped after Gary, crashing into a bunch of stuff.
In the dining room, Danny heard a lot of crashing. "Uh, I think I better see what Blooregard is up to." Danny said worried as he made a dash to the kitchen. The place was a mess made by Blooregard looking for Gary. "Come out, you pipsqueak and fight like a man!" Blooregard yelled out to Gary, but he was long gone.
"Blooregard!" Danny yelled out annoyed and angry. "What the heck are you doing?!"
"I was just…uh…snail and, uh." Blooregard stuttered trying to tell Danny what happened, but he knew he wouldn't believe him. "Never mind."
Danny just grabbed the plates, rolled his eyes, and walked out.
Bernie was talking to Sandy in the dining room. "Y'know, I was thinking maybe our guest would like to see more of our kingdom, like a tour."
Sandy wasn't listening. She and SpongeBob were staring at each other. "I'm sorry, Bernie, did you say somethin'?"
"You can't just stay here waiting for your mystery man." While they were talking, Bernie lifted up his lid a bit and SpongeBob was surprised to see Gary on his plate. "You have to do something more active like you use to do." While no one was looking, SpongeBob opened up his lid and signaled Gary to come onto his plate. No one noticed Gary slither all the way to SpongeBob's plate. Corneil saw but didn't say anything. "Course I will, if he's interested." SpongeBob immediately put his lid down and Sandy asked him, "So, would y'all like to come on a tour of my kingdom tomorrow?"
SpongeBob nodded happily.
"Great." Bernie said. "Now let's eat before this snail slithers off my plate."
But it already did. Corneil snickered quietly.
At night, SpongeBob was looking out his balcony watching Sandy practice karate. Sandy saw SpongeBob and smiled at him. SpongeBob noticed her looking and nervously waved. He went back inside and walked passed Squidward and Gary. Squidward was cleaning up Gary from his hard day.
"Do you see what we go through for you, SquarePants? I hope you're happy." Squidward told SpongeBob, who was jumping up and down on the bed.
"Allow me to come in." A voice called out. It was actually Corneil standing in front of the door. Squidward looked surprised.
"Uh oh." Squidward said knowing Corneil knew their plan. "Hey, you can talk?"
"Of course I can." Corneil said walking past Squidward. "A squirrel and an octopus can talk, but a dog can't."
"Anyway, what are you doing here and how long until you call the guards?" Squidward asked, thinking he'll tell everyone everything they were planning.
"I am here to lend my services into helping SpongeBob get a kiss from Sandy."
"Meow?" Gary asked.
"The starfish told me everything. SpongeBob gave his voice to breathe air and the only way he can permanently breathe air is to kiss Sandy. And you two work at the Krusty Krab." Corneil pointed to Squidward and SpongeBob. "Which means I'll have to pay Bernie five bucks?"
"This is great!" Squidward said excited. "You can tell Sandy who SpongeBob is and she'll kiss him." Squidward said as he put his arm around an excited SpongeBob.
"No!" Corneil said to the surprise of Squidward and SpongeBob. "Love cannot work that way. If SpongeBob wants Sandy to fall in love with him, he has to do it on his own. Oh and you're going on a ride with Sandy tomorrow, better get some sleep. See you in the morning." Corneil said as he left.
"I think this is turning out better than expected. Right, SpongeBob?"
But SpongeBob was already asleep and so was Gary. Squidward shut off the light and went into SpongeBob's bed. "You are completely hopeless."
Back in Bikini Bottom, a cop stops by the Krusty Krab.
"Any sign of them?" Mr. Krabs asked the cop.
"Negative, there have been no reports of the whereabouts of SpongeBob SquarePants or Squidward Tentacles." The cop said.
"Well, keep looking, find them before I lose all me customers."
"Yes sir." The cop said as he drove away in his car.
"Oh what have I done?" Mr. Krabs said upset.
The next day Bernie and Danny waved goodbye to SpongeBob and Sandy as they left in a carriage. SpongeBob looked around him staring at the amazing sites and to Sandy's surprise he even looked below, staring at the horses feet gallop. When they were in town, Squidward tried to get SpongeBob's attention, but SpongeBob just waved. Squidward asked, "Has she kissed him yet?"
Gary shook his head.
In town SpongeBob saw a puppet show and took one of the puppets off the confused puppeteer's hand. Then SpongeBob and Sandy danced in the plaza.
"Hey Squidward, any kissing?" Patrick asked.
"No, not yet." Squidward said sadly.
"Oh." Pauses. "How about now?"
"Those two better get a move on." Corneil said.
SpongeBob and Sandy rode in the carriage again, this time Sandy let SpongeBob drive. While he was driving, he went very fast, almost crashing due to the fact he never got his driver's license. Aside from almost crashing off a cliff, Sandy had a great time.
At night, SpongeBob and Sandy were in a rowboat on a lake.
"I can't see." Patrick whispered loudly.
"Stop pushing me, Patrick!" Corneil shouted out.
"Will both of you stop it?" Squidward told both of them. "Nothing's even happening. He's only got one day left and after that, game over." Squidward took out his clarinet. "This calls for a little 'romantic simulation'." Squidward got close without being seen, and then he started playing a romantic song on his clarinet.
When Gary heard, he hid in his shell to drown out the sound.
Sandy heard and said, "Someone should find that poor feller and put it out of its misery."
SpongeBob weakly smiled and was a bit embarrassed, he knew Squidward was making things worse than making it better.
Corneil had had it and took Squidward's clarinet and threw it aside.
"Squidward that is not what I call romantic music. Watch and you'll see the correct way." Corneil grabbed a stick. "First you got to create the mood, percussion." Ducks started drumming on turtles' backs. "Strings," Crickets started chirping. "Winds," The wind started blowing. "Words."
Corneil: There you see him
Sitting there across the way
He don't got a lot to say
But there's something about him
And you don't know why
But you're dying to try
He wants to kiss the girl
"Did y'all hear something?" Sandy asked.
SpongeBob smiled and shrugged.
Corneil: Yes, you want him
Look at him, you know you do
Possible he wants you too
There is one way to ask him
It don't take a word
Not a single word
Go on kid, kiss the girl
"Sing with me now."
Corneil and Squidward: Sha la la la la la
My oh my
Look at the girl too shy
He ain't gonna kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Corneil: Ain't that sad?
Ain't it a shame?
Too bad, he gonna miss the girl
"You know, it's a darn shame I don't even know your name." Sandy said to SpongeBob. "Maybe I can guess. It's Milton."
SpongeBob made a disgusted face.
Sandy laughed, "Okay no, um how about Tom?" SpongeBob shook his head. "Bill?" SpongeBob shook his head again.
"SpongeBob, his name is SpongeBob." Squidward whispered to Sandy.
"SpongeBob?" Sandy wondered.
SpongeBob nodded happily.
"SpongeBob?!" SpongeBob nodded again. "That's a nice name. Okay, SpongeBob."
Corneil: Now's your moment (yeah yeah)
Floating in a goo lagoon (yeah yeah)
Boy you better do it soon
No time will be better (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Corneil and Squidward: He don't say a word
And he won't say word
Until he kiss the girl
A lot of lake animals gathered around and started singing along.
Corneil, Squidward and Gary: Sha la la la la la
Don't be scared
You got the mood prepared
Go on and kiss the girl
Some fish (and Patrick) made a fountain around SpongeBob and Sandy.
Corneil, Squidward, Gary and Patrick: Sha la la la la la
Don't stop now
Don't try to hide it now
He wants to kiss the girl
Squidward played some more notes on his clarinet, but some birds quiet him up.
Corneil, Gary and Patrick: Sha la la la la la
Float along
And listen to the song
The song say kiss the girl
SpongeBob and Sandy stared deep into each others eyes.
Sha la la la la la
The music play
Do what the music say
He's gotta kiss the girl
SpongeBob and Sandy leaned forward to kiss.
He's got to kiss the girl
Everyone rooted them on.
He's got to kiss the girl
He wanna kiss the girl
They got closer and closer
You've gotta kiss the girl
Corneil and Squidward: Go on and kiss the girl
Just when they were about to kiss, the boat tipped over causing them to miss their chance.
"No!" Squidward yelled out in annoyance.
"Hang on, y'all, I gotcha." Sandy said as she helped SpongeBob onto his feet.
But the boat was actually tipped over by Manray and the Dirty Bubble, to stop them from kissing.
"Nice work, boys." Plankton said watching everything from his computer at the Chum Bucket. "That doofus is better than I thought."
Plankton jumped from his computer to the floor. "At this rate, she'll be kissing him by sunset."
Plankton started throwing things in his cauldron. "I think it's time Plankton took matters into his own hands. Krabs' fry cook will be mine and then I'll make him wrive, I'll see him wriggle like a worm on a hook!"
Then Plankton started to change along with his voice.
