OH MY FRICKIN' GOD! I CAN NOT BELIEVE I DIDN'T FINISH THIS! Thank You Wild Fantasy, for getting my ass in gear! I completely for got about this story, it was so old and no one was reviewing! I KNOW THERE ARE SOME OF YOU OUT THERE WHO READ THIS AND DON'T REVIEW...IF YOU DON'T REVIEW THIS TIME... I WON'T LOVE YOU FOREVER! But if you do I will!!
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Holly wack! I did that on accident! That's swopper! But I'm such a lazy ginker that I won't go to all the trouble to underline my spacers.
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"Got any ideas yet?" Eiko asked. The two had been sitting there for quite awhile now.
"Do you?" Zidane countered.
"No."
"No."
"I said no." Eiko snapped.
"So did I." Zidane countered again.
"This isn't a contest, dill head."
"I ain't a dill head. Irvine's the dill head!" Zidane was about to go on about the difference between a dill head and a bumbass when Loz walked by. "There! That's a dumbass!"
Loz didn't look up. He was doubled over, clutching his stomach. "Oh…that stupid egg made me sick." Suddenly, his eyes got wide, he fell back, his stomach began bulging and…the egg popped out. "Damn." Loz died. How many people have died in this series so far anyway?"
"Freedom at last!" The egg announced.
"Hey!" Zidane picked up the egg. "You can talk." He was holding it by the smaller end, up in the air.
"Hey! I don't like to be man handled!" The egg shouted defiantly. But Zidane didn't pay any attention to it, do to its squeaky little voice. "Put me down or I'll shoot you in your dad gum eye!"
"You don't make a very convincing 'Geddiya'," Eiko said, rolling her eyes. "Tell you what, Zidane will let you go once you answer our question. What came first, the ch—"
"Yeah yeah yeah." The egg interrupted. "You humans…er, well, humans HAVE been asking that question since the beginning of time." The egg would have rolled its eyes, if it had any. "The answer is 42."
"What? But that's what Odine's crazy machine said." Eiko said, slapping Zidane who was trying to cut through the egg's shell with a pipe-cleaner.
"No wonder you made Loz sick, he didn't take off your shell! I'll do it for him." Zidane offered.
"No!" The egg wiggled away. "If you do that, all my juicy innards will fall out and splash on you!"
"Oh, we certainly can't have that!" Eiko said. "My shoes are brand new!" (does she even wear shoes?)
"Yeah, and on top of that, the egg will die." Zidane agreed.
"My shoes are more important."
"No they're not."
"Yes they are."
"Nu uh."
"Uh huh."
"Nope."
"Yup."
"NI!"
"IT!"
"AGH!"
"IT IT IT!"
"Okay okay okay!" Zidane shrugged. "Your stupid shoes are more important."
"Thank you. Now, Mr. Egg, can you tell us why you said 42?"
"It's my lucky number. And besides that it can never be a wrong answer." The egg explained. "Now, will you let me go?"
"What. Came. First. The. Chicken. Or. The. Egg?" Eiko asked through gritted teeth.
"Uh…Cloud knows." The egg said.
"Really?" Zidane's eyes brightened. He chucked the egg over his shoulder. "Well, let's go find unicorn hair…boy…thing…" He laughed like a moron when he heard the egg smash on the ground.
"yes…let's…" Eiko's eyes flashed angrily. "You are such a dip head. If I didn't love you so much I'd beat the crap out of you."
"you can do that any way." Zidane offered. Then he realized what he just said. "I, uh…I retract my earlier statement."
"Too late." Eiko said.
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"So…" Cloud looked up from paperwork he was pretending to do so he wouldn't have to help Tifa do God knows what. "The egg told you I can answer your question?"
"Uh huh." Zidane nodded. He kept on nodding…and nodding…and pretty soon his head popped off and rolled away. "Ow!" It yelled when it hit the floor. "Damn it! Wahhhhh!" The head began crying uncontrollably as the body began searching for it.
Eiko and Cloud ignored that though, they were used to it.
"So, what came first, the chicken or the egg?" Eiko asked, taking notes on how cute Zin-kun was when he was being stupid on her notetakingboardthatisstapledtotheclipboardboard.
Cloud leaned back in his chair, his eyes closed. After a few minutes of thought, and repeated crashing as Zidane's headless body ran into the wall trying to get out, the spiky haird ex-Soldier said. "Neither. The first thing that came was a turkey. It mated with a…chicken, no, a salamander. Then the salamander mated with…a…what? A catipillar? Whatever, then the catipillar mated with a bluebird, which produced an egg which hatched into a chicken." He opened his eyes. "So I guess you can say that the egg came first."
"How do you know that?" Zidane's head had found its way into Cloud's lap. It was looking up at him in awe.
"My ancestors told me so." Cloud nodded.
"Your ancestors?" Eiko put seven and three together. "That means…you're a…chicken?"
Cloud nodded. "What, did you think my hair was hair? This spike is just a big, long, feather! HAHAHA—" the hahahaing changed to brawkbrawkbrawking "—BRAWKBRAWKBRAWK!...BRAWK!"
O.o;Eiko
: pZidane
"WHAT THE HELL!?" The three, well, including Zidane's body it was four, turned to see Kadaj in the doorway. "LOZ! YAZOO! THIS IS THE BIGGEST DAMN CHICKEN I'VE EVER SEEN! COME ON! LET'S TAKE IT DOWN!" Then, without waiting for his brothers, he tackled Cloud, who pecked him on the top of his head. Cloud cringed and grabbed his nose. Kadaf winced and held his head. "That's a frickin' sharp beak!"
"That's a friggin sharp head!" Cloud countered, he was sprouting feathers now, and sorta' looked like a chocobo.
"Are you calling me a pinhead!?"
"AM I!?"
Then Loz and Yazoo came in and together the three ate Cloud. "Hm…taste like chicken." Loz announced. "Kinda' like Teriyaki, though."
"You mean," Yazoo snapped, "Teriyukki." He shook his head. "I don't like teriyaki."
"Well, now what?" Eiko asked Zidane, who had gotten his head back on…though it was all twisted around.
"Now, we go report to Irvine…" Zidane said.
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Well, there you go. I plan on one more chapter, but first I need another question. It has to be a slightly stupid one, though, and you need to let me know, soon. So please review!
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And 'swopper' and 'ginker' are words from Andy, a half insane (or so we think) fifteen year old from my story 'Roke' that I plan on putting on Fictionpress when it's done.
See you soon!
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Sorry, no side story today. Have you read a final fantasy weekend, Wild Fantasy?
That one's sort of like 'Powerless Night', though it has an unlikely hero…
