Here's the 2nd installment.
Disclaimer: I still don't own. Don't sue me.
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ACT 2
Scene 1: Enter the Scarecrow
Kurama: (humming to himself) I'm of to see the wizard! The wonderful wizard of Oz!!
Puu: (in same tune) puu puu puu puu puu puu puuuuuuuuu. . .. puu puu puu puu puu puu puu!
Voice: Hey!
Kurama: Who said that?
Voice: I did! Over here!
Kurama: Over where?
Voice: Over here! The scareccrow, dammit!
Kurama: (looks at scarecrow) Are you. . . talking?!
Scarecrow: Wha's the matter? Never seen a talkin' scarecrow before? Help me off this pole, please!
Kurama: Actually, no. I haven't seen a talking scarecrow before. (Lifts down from pole) Do you have a name?
Scarecrow: Name's Yusuke. Pleased ta meatcher, I'm sure. (Pouts)
Kurama: What's wrong, Mr. Yusuke?
Yusuke: I don't have a brain. . .
Kurama: Oh. Well, Puu and I are going to Spirit World to see if the Wizard of Oz can send us back home to Japan. Maybe he could give you a brain, too?
Yusuke: Really? Awsome, I'm in! (Tries to walk, but falls flat on his face) Eheh.. Maybe I'd better learn how to walk first. . .
Kurama: Why, it's simple! Put one foot in front of the other, and follow the yellow brick road!!
(They link arms and skip on down the road)
Yusuke and Kurama: Weeeeeee're off to see the wizard! The wonderful wizard of Oz!
Puu: Puu!
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Scene 2: Enter the Tin Man
(Kurama and Yusuke continue to skip down the yellow-brick road, singing). . . beeeeeecause of the wonderful things he does!!
Voice: Hn. Will you two morons shut up?
(Kurama and Yusuke freeze)
Kurama: Wha-what was that?
Yusuke: It came from over there! (points)
Kurama: What d'you suppose we should do?
Yusuke: (turns around) Go over here!
Kurama: No! (grabs his arm) Let's go see who it is!
(they follow the sound of the voice until they reach a clearing)
Yusuke: Look! Over there!
Tin man: (Rusted in place) Oh, great. It's Dumb and Dumber.
Kurama: (huffs) Well that wasn't very nice!
Yusuke: It's a talking tin can! What's this world coming to!?
Tin man: (Glares) Look who's calling the kettle black, scarecrow!
Kurama: (interupts) Mr. Tin man, why are you just standing there?
Tin man: Because I got caught out in the rain and rusted here. What, did you think I liked standing here all day? And my name is Hiei, not 'Mr Tin man'.
Kurama: Well, um, Hiei, if you tell us how, I'm sure we can help you.
Hiei: Hn. I don't need your help. You two fools would only make it worse!
Yusuke: Well, in that case, let's go, Kurama.
Kurama: Wait. If you're made of tin, then that means oil will unrust you. (spots a house) Is that your house over there, Mr. Hiei?
Hiei: Wouldn't you like to know? And don't call me 'Mr'.
Kurama: (Goes into house and fetches the oil can.) Hold still.
Hiei: Very funny. I told you, I don't need your help!!
Kurama: (finishes oiling) You're not a very nice person, are you, Mr. Hiei?
Hiei: (flexing his limbs) I have no heart. How can I be nice!!
Kurama: How come you don't have a heart?
Hiei: (Rolls his eyes) Because I'm made out of tin, you fool.
Kurama: Why?
Hiei: Long story.
Kurama: Lies down in the grass and props his head on his hands) Oh I love a good story! Do tell!
Hiei: Fine. I was-and still am- the best swordsman in all of Oz. I had a heart, and I was engaged to the most beautiful woman in the world. I loved her dearly. But then one day I accidentally killed one of the Wicked Witch of the West's precious Trace Eyes, and that bastard put a curse on me. The next time I sparred, my sword slipped and cut off my left leg. Fortunately, my sparring partner was an expert tinsmith and immediatly replaced it with tin. But then, my sword slipped again and cut off my right leg. I had that replaced wit tin as well. And so it continued: every time I drew my sword, I lost one body part. But when my chest was lost, the tinsmith could find no way to give me a heart. So I turned into who I am now, and my fiance left, saying she'd return once I could love again.
Kurama: (eyes are tearing) Oh, Mr. Hiei! What a sad tale!!
Hiei: DON'T CALL ME 'MISTER'!!
Kurama: Why don't youcome with us to the wizard of Oz? He might be able to give you a heart!
Hiei: (raises an eyebrow) You two buffoons are going to Spirit World? Well, I'd better go with you, then. You'll be wolf meat in no time without someone who can fight.
Yusuke: Haha! I have a heart and you don't!!
Hiei: Yes, but you're also a brainless oaf.
Yusuke: Oh, yeah. I forgot about that!
Kurama: Care to join us, Hiei?
Hiei: Join you in what, exactly?
Kurama and Yusuke: Weeeeee're off to see the wizard!
Hiei: (Rolls eyes and says flatly) The wonderful Wizard of Oz.
Puu: Puu!!
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Scene 3: Enter the Cowardly Lion
Kurama: (humming)
Hiei: Shut up, you dolt. You'll attract unwanted attention.
Yusuke: Relax. What's gonna attack us? A lion? A tiger? Or maybe a bear!!
Hiei: Actually, any one of those three could. We're arriving at the forest, where many dangerous beasts lurk in the shadows, waiting to prey on innocent travelers.
Kurama: Lions. . . and tigers. . .and bears!! Oh my!
Yusuke: Lions and tigers and bears! Oh my!
Kurama: Lions 'n' tigers 'n' bears!! Oh my!!
Yusuke: Lionsntigersnbears!! Oh my!
Kurama and Yusuke: Lionsntigersnbearsohmy! Lionsntigersnbearsohmy! Lionsntigersnbearsohmy!! Lionsn-
Hiei: Shut UP! God damn!!
(The three adventures hear a growl and freeze)
Yusuke: Wha-what was that?
Kurama: A lion? A tiger? A bear? Oh my?
(Growl is heard again)
Hiei: (draws sword) Whatever you are, come here and fight!
(Big reddish blur springs out from bushes and lunges at Puu) WROOOOOAAAAR!!
Puu: Puuuuuuuu! (flies frantically around Kurama's waist. Orange thing follows)
Kurama: (grabs Puu and sticks out his foot. The beast trips. It is revealed to be a big lion)
You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Mr. Lion!! Attacking a small defenceless Spirit Beast like Puu! What did he ever do to you!? (Slaps lion across face) You coward!!
Lion: (Starts to cry) WAAAHHHH!! Make her stop!! Make the mean little girl stop!! She hurt meeee!! WAAAHH!!
Kurama: Oh you big baby!! Stop crying and look at me. LOOK AT ME!!
Lion: meep. . .yes sir!!
Kurama: Now. Explain yourself.
Lion: I'm Kuwabara the Cowardly Lion. I'm sorry. I was just trying to scare you. . .
Hiei: Hn. That much is obvious.
Kuwabara: Hey shut up, shorty!!
Hiei: (brandishes sword) Wanna say that again, pussy cat?
Kuwabara: (Hides behind Kurama) No. . .
Hiei: Hn. That's what I thought!
Kuwabara: Why are you three in these woods? They're dangerous!! The Wicked Witch of the West's minions all live here, you know?
Yusuke: Minions? You mean like lions? And tigers? And bears?
Kuwabara: No. . .more like Trace Eyes and Mad Bombs and Random Exploding Objects.
Kurama: Oh my!!
Kuwabara: (has scared himself with descriptions of the minions) Now I'm scared. . .can I come with you? Please?
Hiei: Absolutely not.
Kuwabara: (drops to his knees and begs Kurama) Please oh please don't leave me here all alone in these big scary woods!! Please let me come with you!!! I promise I'll be good!!
Kurama: Oh all right. Just leave Puu alone, you hear?
Kuwabara: Yes! Oh yes! Thank you!! (kisses Kurama's feet)
Yusuke: Alright that's enough. Let's go, big guy. (Hauls Kuwabara to his feet) We're going to see the wizard, by the way. Who knows, maybe he can give you some courage.
Kuwabara: Gee, you think so? Golly, I'm sure glad I met up with you people!!
All: (singing) Weeee're off to see the wizard! The wonderful wizard of Oz!! We hear he is a wonderful wizard as ever a wiz there was, as ever a wonderful wiz there was because because because because becaaaauuuse. . .beeeeecause of the wonderful things he does!! Oh we're off to see the wizaaaard! The wonderful Wizard of Ooozzzzz!!
