"Honey?" Lorelai called timidly.
Her house seemed more menacing. More dark.
"Chris? Hon?" the words echoed through her mind.
Where was he? "Oh, sorry Lor, I'm over here." She heard his voice from the kitchen.
She closed her eyes, and breathed. She tried to convince herself that she loved him. But the thoughts of him seemed empty, and seeing him never brought her joy. It didn't bring her joy like it did when she saw Luke. Luke. She decided not to think of him. He only brought her desire and longing. Feelings she couldn't have towards him. She was married, for Christ's sakes. Seeing Chris was almost a trophy of what she had lost. And she had lost everything when she married him.
"Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to give your husband a kiss?" Christopher said.
Lorelai wasn't sure if it was a joke or if he was really angry. Please God, don't let him be angry. She had gone a couple weeks without getting him mad.
"Sorry, Chris." She quickly kissed him, and then put her purse down.
"Mind getting me my jacket… holy shit, it's cold in here."
Lorelai nodded, and promptly went towards the closet, wanting to please him. It seemed that she could never please him.
"Lor, mind if I borrow some money, we've ran out of milk."
He always said that, but it took him a couple hours to come back. Without letting her respond, she heard the zippering of her purse. Her heart stopped. Oh, God, no. No, no, no, no, no.
"What the hell is this?!"
Lorelai was trembling. Her heart felt like it was beating frantically inside her stomach, and she bit her lower lip. Oh, God, no. Please don't be mad. Please don't be mad. Please-
"A coffee cup from Luke's?!" His voice was quivering with anger, and Lorelai was quivering with dread and terror.
"I'm sorry, I wanted coffee, and…" Lorelai wanted to cry, but she couldn't. Her entire body had gone dry.
"God damn it, Lorelai, I thought I never told you to go back there again!" he stood up, and leaned in towards her face.
His breath smelled of whiskey. Lorelai didn't dare breath. He shoved her into the lamp, shattering it. Lorelai didn't care. Just get me out of here, get me out of here.
"That man has got some nerve…" he mumbled.
"I…" Lorelai croaked. She wanted to apologize, she wanted to save herself. Please don't let him hurt me, she pleaded to God. A red-faced Christopher spun around and slapped her across the face.
Lorelai felt a burning, prickling sensation on her left cheek as she crumbled to the floor. Her hands were pressed to the ground, and she soon realized that they began bleeding because of the shattered glass from the lamp. Her heart was racing and Lorelai couldn't keep up with it. She sucked in the cold air in heaving, broken breaths, holding the tears inside. She tried to convince herself that she loved Chris. She couldn't. Her mind and her heart were to weary and bruised.
"I'll be out." Chris said loudly, slipping on his jacket. "And don't wait up for me, Lor."
Before he slammed the screen door, he added unconvincingly, "Love you," Lorelai didn't respond, because she didn't return his feelings. She couldn't hide it anymore. He had hurt her too much for her to love him back. That was when the epiphany and the tears came.
"I love Luke," she said suddenly. She was realizing it fully for the first time. She loved him. She loved Luke. She almost couldn't digest it.
Without thinking, she stood up and wiped the blood off of her hands, Luke Danes' face still fresh in her mind. Her heart moving her, she opened the screen door and dazedly went into her car. She was going to see Luke. She had to see Luke.
