Chapter 2

After Hannah got Sam ready for school she sat at her kitchen table for a long time. Her conversation with Eddie a few months back haunted her thoughts. "There's one thing you've never been Hannah and that's accountable….So stop acting like little Miss Virtuous, because you and I both know that couldn't be further from the truth."

Maybe these dreams and Eddie's voice and Ray asking to adopt Sam were all signs. It was time to confess, come clean. What would everyone think when they found out? Eddie didn't even know the whole story. Ray would more than likely break up with her and Janet and Nick might not ever speak to her again. On top of that, poor Sam; he might just hate her forever. Maybe that's why she felt so bad for Ikey, he was an outcast and she was sure to follow. Hannah stood up, looking out her kitchen window. It looked like such a beautiful day, too bad for her, it was bound to be one of the worst of her life. She picked up her phone and called Janet. She would start with Janet; she just prayed her friend would not judge her too harshly.

Hannah had asked Janet if she could come by on her break at 3. Realizing that it wasn't the right time or place, Hannah called Janet back and asked if they could get together after work instead. Maybe she could come over to Janet's place where they could talk in private? Janet agreed and told Hannah she had some news of her own to tell her so not to be late.

She was tired. Hannah was tired of the lies and the cover-ups. She was ready to tell Nick everything. Eddie was right, he had a right to know. More importantly, so did Sam. She had already opened that Pandora's box when she went to see the lawyer, then again, when she told Ray he could adopt Sam! What a desperate move. Pitiful. Janet knew that Gavin wasn't the father and now the house of cards would crumble. Better to do it herself than watch it fall in front of her eyes outside of her control. Janet would help her… she prayed to God she would.

………………………………….

When she pulled up to Janet's place at 7 it was already dusk. It was a beautiful day. Sam had a good day at school and they had a nice family dinner just the two of them. Ray called saying he was going to work late so not to keep dinner for him. All in all, it was a pretty normal day for Hannah, but she knew, in a few moments, it was all going to change. She took Sam over to her neighbors promising to be back by 9 or so and left for Janet's place. Now she was sitting outside in her car, debating about whether or not it was necessary to tell Janet about her and Eddie. She was afraid Janet would be mad at her for not mentioning it sooner, but it was something she just never talked about. Resigned, Hannah got out of the car and walked to Janet's front door. She knocked and immediately was greeted by Janet, with a hesitant smile on her face.

"Hey, come in. I just took a lasagna out of the oven; I'm starved. You hungry?"

"No, Sam and I already had dinner."

"You mind if I eat? I kinda worked through lunch and got… uhm.. sidetracked during my break today."

"No, I don't mind. You mind if I talk while you eat?"

"No, not at all. Oh, Eddie is stopping by in a little bit. I hope you don't mind."

"Oh, really?" Hannah was not ready to face Eddie yet. He would yell and get angry when he found out about Nick. But, she decided, it was better to get it over with.

"Well Janet, it all has to do with what I told you a few months ago, about Gavin not being Sam's dad? You see that summer when Nick left…" Hannah was cut off when she heard the front door open. She looked up and saw not only Eddie but Nick. He looked at her in surprise, as if he hadn't expected to see her there.

"Hey babe. Sorry I'm late. I had to pick up Nicky since he didn't know where you lived exactly."

"Hey Janet, Hey Hannah. Sorry, Eddie invited me over for dinner. Something about the best meal I will ever have." Nick looked a little uncomfortable. He was sure he had not been invited as Eddie insisted.

"Uh, Janet, I didn't know you where having company for dinner, maybe I should just do this another time…" Hannah got up to leave. Eddie walked over to her and gently pushed her back in the seat.

"Hannah, please, it's time. It's okay. Everyone here cares about you. Just talk, talk to all of us. Please, let's just end this now." Hannah started to cry. She didn't know how to begin. She looked over at Nick and he looked like he was going to be sick to his stomach.

"Hannah? Hannah Jane? What's going on? What's everyone so worked up about?" Nick had walked across the room and crouched down next to her, he put his arms around her and held her.

Eddie decided to take charge of the situation.

"Well Nicky..." He blew out a long breath.

"That summer you left? When you left, Hannah was in a real bad way. She was drinking and partying real hard. She was a mess. You know, they guys, we tried to look out for her, but she kinda distanced herself from us as well. It was like, I don't know, we reminded her of you too. Anyway, you sent her those flowers, remember? On her birthday? Around that same time, Stacy gave me the heisman and moved to New York. Anyway…Hannah came to me, the flowers we dying and she was crying. She said 'Eddie, the last thing I ever thought Nick would do is leave me like this? How could he have done this?' And she started crying. She was talking about feeling worthless and cast aside and not good enough and damned if I didn't feel the same way. I told her she was beautiful. And I meant it. I really did Hannah. I was just trying to make you feel better." Eddie turned and looked at Hannah. He had a pained and guilty expression on his face.

"Anyway, we started kissing and one thing lead to another and we're you know… having sex and then she calls out your name, 'Nick, Nick!' and it just made the both of us stop mid-way. You know?" At this point, Eddie looks over at Janet. She was still looking at him. She wasn't throwing him out the door. He walked over to her and held out his hand. She took it, and he continued.

"We vowed never to talk about it, ever."

"So, let me get this straight. You two slept with each other and that's the big secret? It's not that it doesn't bother me, but I lost all rights to be angry at anything you did back then Hannah. I am so sorry that you went through all of that back then. I wish I could take it all back, I do." Nick was rubbing her back in slow circles.

"Hannah, isn't there more to the story, more you'd like to add?" Eddie looked over at her.

"Okay, I'm ready." She turned to Nick and held his face in her hands. She pulled him in for a short kiss on the lips. It might be the last time he would ever want to be near her after he heard the whole story. "I'm so sorry Nick. I'm so sorry I lied. Sam's your son. He, we, conceived him before you left and when I found out I was pregnant I made up the story about the Doof needing me to take calculus. I just wanted you to have some freedom before settling down here with a family. I just wanted to…"

"Wait. I'm Sam's father? But you said… Hannah, you finally had me believing that he wasn't mine.." Nick choked on the last of his words. He sat down right there on the kitchen floor next to Hannah's chair. So many emotions were running through his head. The most prevalent one was anger. He jumped up from his spot on the floor and stood over Hannah.

"You were carrying my son and you let me just leave? YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME THE CHOICE? And what the hell were you doing drinking and partying when you were carrying a baby?? Jesus Christ Hannah, what the hell???" Nick's voice was rising in anger.

"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE ME NICK. YOU LEFT. YOU SAID YOU WOULD BE BACK. YOU LIED. YEAH, I MADE A CHOICE, AND IT WAS TO RAISE YOUR SON ON MY OWN. ALONE. WITHOUT A FATHER WHO COULD GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE PEOPLE HE LEFT BEHIND. SO DON'T JUST STAND THERE AND PUT ALL THE BLAME ON ME NICK. THERE'S PLENTY OF IT TO GO AROUND." Hannah was pissed. Sure she didn't tell him, but hadn't he left her without a backwards glance?

"Hey guys. Look, that was a long time ago. More importantly, you were kids. I mean, 18 is awfully young to condemn the choices we make for life. Now, Eddie and I are going to go into the bedroom while you two talk this out. I think you need a little privacy." That being said, Janet grabbed her plate and a soda from the fridge and went into her bedroom with Eddie closing the door behind them.

"Okay Hannah, I want to know everything; especially where Gavin Goddard comes into all of this. Are you ready to talk? I'm sorry I yelled. It's just all so much. But, I'm happy. I'm happy that Sam is mine. I want to say that first. And, well, I'm sorry I yelled, please, just tell me everything."

"Okay Nick. Okay."