TITLE: Online Confessions of a Teenager
AUTHOR: Dream Catcher
DISCLAIMER: As extensive as my imagination may be, I am not the creator of Sailor Moon. Poo…
AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, uhm…it's been about a year. Uhm….Please don't kill me. Heh heh. So how about those Red Sox? cough, cough LOVE YOU!!!
CHAPTER SIX…
ONLINE DIARIEZ. ORG
(where freedom of thought rulez)
Diary: Useless Information
User: GreenThumbs
4/21/04
10:12 AM eastern
When I woke up this morning, it finally hit me that I am crazy. I really shouldn't butt into other people's business; I never have before. So, I began to wonder, what is so different about now? What was the catalyst that suddenly had me deciding to interfere?
I really shouldn't meddle. Nothing good ever came from meddling. A lot of movies were made with just that type of plot to show the consequences of meddling. Meddling is bad, very bad.
But I figured it was too late to do anything, now.
So, I rolled out of bed, took my shower, and went to my first class, statistics, where my Colonel Sanders professor bored everyone with his discussion on truth tables, which, in my opinion, have nothing to do with math.
After the concept of truth tables was fully ingrained into my brain, I started this because I really have nothing else to do. I could probably just leave class right now, but there is always the chance the professor will decided to introduce a new topic five minutes before class ends, a simple topic that doesn't take long to teach or comprehend but will count as fifty-percent on the next test.
The guy beside me, right now, is watching the Batman Begins DVD on his laptop, and occasionally I'll look over to see what's going on. It's kind of interesting, though, watching him watching the movie because you can actually see him not using any of his brain cells.
I wonder what his grade is in this class.
I just glanced up at the board. The professor is STILL talking about truth tables because a girl in the front of the class has not grasped the concept of them. Everyone else is spacing out because they have either mastered the topic, or they just don't give a damn, like the guy beside me, whose bored expression does not match the action scenes displayed on his laptop.
Obviously, this is not the first time he has viewed the movie.
After this class, I have two more classes, then three-and-a-half hours until the soccer game. I know Serena will have had time to think of plenty of reasons why she shouldn't try to break up her sister and Andrew, and I'm going to have to try to talk her into it, even though I'm a little nervous about the whole idea myself.
But maybe, as I'm talking Serena into everything, I'll talk myself into thinking it's a brilliant idea as well. The downside is that I'm going to have to pretend to like Mina for who-knows-how-long.
Tonight, I guess I'll post another entry and record everything that happens at the game. That way, I'll be able to keep track of all my lies.
Today's Useless Information: To be posted.
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RESPONSES TO ENTRY: GreenThumbs-4/21/04-10:12 AMeastern
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Response: TheWoRlDsDed
Was it really necessary for you to post this entry because it was just a bunch of blah blah blah. If you're going to write stuff, make sure it's interesting.
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ONLINE DIARIEZ. ORG
(where freedom of thought rulez)
Diary: Online Confessions of a Teenager
User: JuneBunny
4/21/04
12:16 PM eastern
I'm hiding in the school library right now. I'm supposed to be in the school cafeteria since its lunch, but I'd just like to avoid Jupiter right now. I made the mistake of telling her during economics class that I might be bringing someone to her game tonight. When she asked who, I couldn't lie to her. After all, she'd see him at the game.
"What? You're bringing the hot waiter? How did this happen?"
I told her about everything that happened at the bookstore. I left out the part about us scheming and plotting, of course. She'd just call me stupid or something for having a crush on my sister's boyfriend.
"He likes you!" She smiled with glee, and I groaned inside my head. Why does everyone have to assume that Blue Eyes likes me? I wish I could just tell them he likes Venus, but then I'd have to explain everything else. And I just can't do that.
Then, Jupiter asked, "So what are you wearing tonight?"
I looked down at the clothes I was—and still am—wearing, and said, "This."
"You can't wear that."
Again, I looked down at my clothes. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"
"Nothing. They just aren't date clothes. Those are I'm-going-to-school-and-it's-Wednesday-and-I-don't-give-a-fuck-how-I-look clothes."
That's not what had been going through my mind when I picked out the pair of jeans and school spirited T-shirt. I figured the T-shirt had been a good choice since I was going to be supporting my friend and school at tonight's game.
"First, it's not like we're going to the movies, and second, it is not—I repeat, not—a date."
"If you say so."
I had grumbled underneath my breath, fished a book from my book bag, and ignored her for the rest of the period.
I'm dreading tonight, and here comes Jupiter. She's walking this way.
Got to go.
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RESPONSES TO ENTRY: JuneBunny-4/21/04-12:16 PMeastern
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Response: BoiWidallDFun
It's a date, babe. At least, that's what he's gonna be thinking. I don't buy all that I-like-your-sister shit.
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Response: SeXyZbAbE
You sound—well not sound, per se, since I'm reading your words and not hearing them—upset that it's not a date. Methinks you like him. You go girl.
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ONLINE DIARIEZ. ORG
(where freedom of thought rulez)
Diary: Online Confessions of a Teenager
User: JuneBunny
4/21/04
9:52 PM eastern
Oh. My. God. This guy (Blue Eyes) is insane! An absolute lunatic! Certified crazy!
You want to know why?
HE WANTS ME TO PRETEND TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND!
How crazy is that? Yeah, I know, stupid crazy.
I had known we were going to meet at the soccer game to discuss relationship ruining strategies. I had no idea, however, that I would be entering a pretend relationship. Crap like that only happens in movies.
Anyway, Uranus dropped me off at my school after work so I wouldn't have to walk, because she's nice like that, unlike my sister, who takes pleasure in "forgetting" to drive me to school in the morning.
The stands were almost empty when I got to the school and remained that way the rest of the night because the students at my school are not big soccer supporters even though they are one of the few teams at our school that actually wins any games. Since there were so few people there to watch the game, it didn't take me long to realize that Blue Eyes hadn't arrived yet.
I took a seat somewhere in the middle of the stands, away from the other people present so Blue Eyes would be able to spot me quickly when he arrived. As I waited, I casually watched Jupiter and the rest of the girls' team warm up before the game, and every now and then I would glance around to see if I could spot Blue Eyes approaching.
Just when I was starting to feel really awkward sitting all by myself, I saw Blue Eyes glancing around, presumably looking for me. Even though I was slightly glad to see him there because it meant I didn't have to sit alone anymore, I refrained from waving for his attention, choosing instead to pretend to have a keen interest in Jupiter's warm up drills.
After all, I didn't want to seem too eager to destroy my sister's relationship with Arcade Dude.
He found me quickly enough, sat down on my left side, and said, "Hi."
"Hi," I said back in an overly cheerful voice, fake even to my ears, but he didn't seem to notice anything weird.
Then there was an awkward silence:
Me: "…"
Him: "…"
I kept wondering what to say. How exactly does one go about starting a conversation that will end up with both parties plotting to break two people up? Saying, "So the weather's nice" seems a bit too far from topic, but jumping in and asking, "So how do I make Arcade Dude mine?" would be rushing it a bit.
So, I said instead: "…"
And he replied: "…"
Yup, you guessed it. There was more silence, and that silence probably would have continued had Blue Eyes, bless him, not decided to say something.
"So which one's your friend?" he asked me, which I found kind of surprising. I had assumed he would want to get straight to point of why we were meeting, which is what I wanted to do.
I was beginning to view the whole situation as though it were one giant band-aid that needed to be ripped off as quickly as possible to obtain the least amount of pain. I wasn't eager about turning into a lying, scheming boyfriend snatcher, but I really like Arcade Dude.
Just once, I have decided, I am going to go after the boy I like and not wait patiently for signs that he likes me. In the past, I usually ended up waiting too long, so long, in fact, that I no longer had a crush on the boy. But that was not going to happen this time. This time I am going to fight even though, technically, I have no official claim to Arcade Dude other than my profound belief that Venus is not the kind of girl he needs or wants.
So I was feeling slightly antsy when he asked a question that implied he was in no hurry to start talking business, but I answered him anyway.
"Number nine."
I watched as Blue Eyes searched the field for Jupiter's number, and when his brows drew together, I correctly predicted what he said next.
"Isn't she…"
"Yeah," I shifted on the bleacher, "she was the one with me at the restaurant the day…"
a) … we met.
b) … I had a good lunch with a friend after church.
c) … I grabbed your ass.
d) All of the above.
I figured it was best if I let him silently finish the sentence. No need bring up the past, right?
When he chuckled, we both knew he was thinking what I wished he wasn't thinking. All that mattered, however, was the fact that he didn't say anything, anything that pertained to our first meeting, at least.
Instead, he asked, "So what position does she play?"
Relaxing a bit I told him that she played as a center. He nodded and hmmed.
Why wasn't he saying anything pertaining to the reason we had met? Why was he asking me about soccer when he should be asking me how I wanted to go about stealing Arcade Dude from Venus? I wondered.
Finally, I decided it was time to grab the bull by the horns, so to speak.
"So, uhm, what's your master plan?"
He looked surprised, then uncomfortable before he answered, "You're probably not going to like."
Uh oh. I didn't like the sound of that, but I was determined to hear what he had to say.
"Let's hear it anyway," I said with more bravado than I thought I could muster.
He cleared his throat and said: (You can probably already guess since I've already told you but…) "I think we should pretend to be dating to make Venus and Arcade Dude jealous."
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Sorry. Just typing about it is freaking me out.
I have never had a real boyfriend, just those superficial pre-boyfriends, who only get as far as a goodnight kiss (of which I've had two). Now, I am about to have a pretend one because—you guessed it—I agreed to go along with his plan, even after I heard what it was.
I didn't readily agree to it, of course. I physically balked at the idea, and it must have been some really ugly balking because Blue Eyes gave a dry laugh.
"Told you that you didn't want to hear it."
"Well, this is, uhm. Do you actually think it will work?"
Because I found it a hard to believe that it would work.
"It's the best I could come up with. Do you have a better idea?"
Besides kidnapping Arcade Dude and threatening him within an inch of his life? No. I had absolutely no plan of my own, other than doing everything in my power to get Arcade Dude to notice me.
That, obviously, hadn't been working.
"No," I sighed.
"So are you up for it?"
"I don't know if I would make a very convincing girlfriend," I told him, silently recalling my two goodnight kisses.
"Nah, it will be OK. It's not like we have to constantly be on show. You'd just have to pretend to be happy to see me when I pick you up for dates, and if we run into Venus or Arcade Dude while we're out, we'll pretend to be a lovey-dovey couple. Other than that it will be like it is now."
I realized then that I was fairly comfortable around him. You know, when I wasn't worrying about his mental health because he was CRAZY!
Again, sorry. I should probably be worrying about my own sanity. After all, I agreed to go along with the plan. That's right, I agreed to be his fake girlfriend sometime during halftime, when Jupiter's team was huddling on the sidelines, their coach giving them a pep talk.
I hadn't given him an answer after he initially asked me because the game had started then, and I was determined to use it as a distraction. I pretended to be really interested in the movements of the ball so I could avoid giving my answer. Thankfully, he didn't push for an answer.
But a few minutes after the referee blew the whistle for halftime, Blue Eyes asked, "So?"
and I knew what he was wondering about.
"All right. I'll do it."
Now, ever since I said that, my stomach has been feeling weird. It's a lot like the stomach-full-of-butterflies-feeling. It started off as just one or two butterflies, but multiplied into many, many more after the girls' game ended (We won 4-3) and Blue Eyes saw Jupiter making her way to us through the bleachers. That's when he suggested that we "might as well start dating now."
Then he took my hand, and it began to feel like I had a swarm of migrating monarch butterflies making their way through my innards. That's when it really hit me, and I realized that I was about to star in my own play, a play with a script that had yet to be written but was bound to have tons of lines for me to say.
Then I remembered how shitty of an actress I was, but by then it was too late to back out because Jupiter had already spotted our linked hands.
She had the gall to look smug, like it was because of her that we were holding hands and going out, so to speak.
At that moment, I felt like throwing up butterflies.
Instead, I had smiled up at Jupiter and said, "Good game."
"It was OK. We could have played better."
"Hey, a win's an win," I told her.
She shrugged. "Hey, I gotta pee. Come with me, Bunny?"
It was obvious that she wanted to grill me, but I couldn't think of a polite way to say "Hell no" that wouldn't cause her to suddenly decide to make a scene in front of Blue Eyes.
So I glanced at Blue Eyes, smiled apologetically, and followed her to the restroom, where she rushed to a stall and closed the door. Apparently, she wasn't lying.
From behind the stall door she commented sarcastically, "Not a date, huh?"
"It's not a date!" I denied. In a softer voice I added, "Or at least it wasn't."
"I heard that." The toilet flushed, and Jupiter exited, crossing the room to towards the sink to wash her hands. "So it's a date now, right? See, I told you."
That's Jupiter, never one to deny anyone of an I-told-you-so. I just hate how many times I'm on the receiving end of an I-told-you-so.
I glanced at our reflections in the large mirror that ran across all four of the sinks and watched as I lied to her.
"Yeah, it's a date."
She didn't even bother trying to hide her excitement. "You guys are so cute together. Oh, you have a date for prom now! Go Bunny, go Bunny."
She was dancing. Literally. It was some weird little jig that was a cross between the Twist and the gotta-go-gatta-go-gatta-go-right-now dance, and her cleats were making a weird crunching sound on the tiled floor.
"Stop it," I pleaded, blushing because that's what I do when I'm being teased.
"OK, I'll stop. I'm just so happy for you!"
I began to feel some of those butterflies attempt to escape. It was hard for me to no go rushing over to the nearest toilet to throw up insect parts.
When we returned to the stands, the boys' game was about to start. It wasn't hard to pretend that I was interested in the boys' game in order to ignore Blue Eyes because the boys' game is always more entertaining.
I'm not dissing the girls' team, but the truth is that the boys play better together. Their passing is more synchronized. Plus, they are more aggressive with the ball, kicking it harder and jumping higher to head the ball.
Jupiter and I cheered the different players, jumping up and screaming whenever a goal was scored by the home team. Blue Eyes laughed at our antics but made it a point to take hold of my hand each time I sat down after a bout of jumping and hollering.
The boys won 5-0, and as they walked off the field I realized I had a bit of a problem. Usually, Jupiter gives me a ride home after games, but with Blue Eyes at the game, I knew she expected him to take me home.
And sure enough, Jupiter thought she was free of being my personal taxi.
"Hey, Bunny, I'm gonna stick around and talk to the boys. See you tomorrow. Nice seeing you again Blue Eyes." She smiled brightly at Blue Eyes and then walked away, leaving me awkwardly standing there, knowing I needed to bum a ride off of him because there was no way in hell I was going to walk home that late at night.
"Hey, uhm, usually Jupiter gives me a ride home, but since she thinks we're…" I trailed off.
"Don't worry, I can give you a ride."
His car, a black truck, was parked fairly close to the school, and we chatted about the game as we made our way to the parking lot.
"I never went to a soccer game while I was in high school," he admitted, "I'm more into American football, but I got to admit that I had fun tonight. Of course, if may have just been the company." Before I had a chance to ponder at how in depth he was going with the whole fake-couple thing, he added, "You and your friend are fun to watch. What was up with all the nicknames you have for the boy players?"
I laughed. When I first started going to soccer games, I had a hard time understanding the positions and rules. So, during my first attendance to a boys' game, Jupiter tried to explain the game by pointing out the players and telling me their assigned positions. I had a hard time, however, keeping track of the players even though they were numbered like billiard balls.
So we came up with nicknames for the players, names such as Gazelle for the player whose running reminded us of a leaping gazelle. There was Goldie Locks, the guy with the curly blond hair, and the three Hispanic brothers Jupiter dubbed Taco, Burrito, and Enchilada. I asked her if we were being racist by calling them that, but she had told me that the other boys on the team call them The Three Mexicans, which the brothers didn't mind even though they were from Venezuela.
"The nicknames were the result of Jupiter trying to teach me the ways of soccer. They kind of stuck around," I eventually told him.
During the short ride to my house we let the radio do the talking for us, and it was surprisingly comfortable. Course, the drive took less than ten minutes so there wasn't much time to make it uncomfortable.
When we got to my house he told me to wait while he got my car door. Flustered, I insisted that it wasn't necessary, that no one was around to see.
"You never know," was his reply.
I let him open the door and then walk me up the path to my house. He was really serious about the fake-date thing. It made me wonder if he was really that gentlemanly or if it was all for show.
Either way it made me a bit uncomfortable. I am used to opening my own doors and walking myself up to my house. Having someone else there to help me was both charming and…weird. But it was not like I could stop him. I was just thankful that he didn't kiss me.
He did, however, take my hand and squeeze it one last time before I went inside, which I found to be completely unnecessary. Even if someone had been watching, they couldn't have been paying close enough attention to notice the extra pressure he applied to my hand.
When I was inside, I found Venus sitting on the couch watching TV. I decided it was time to begin Operation Smitten.
Making my movements slightly more exaggerated than usual I parted the curtains of the front window and watched Blue Eyes back out of the driveway. Venus has done that same particular move after her more memorable dates with Arcade Dude.
When Blue Eyes' car was gone, I sighed and turned to smile at Venus.
Her eyebrows were raised. "I'm guessing that wasn't Jupiter."
"You guessed right," I said confidently. At least, I hope I sounded confident.
"Then who was it?"
"Blue Eyes."
"What?"
"You heard me."
Normally I might have ended it there, but tonight my goal was not to keep my romantic life secret from my sister, but rather to exploit it.
Surprisingly, she seemed upset, but I couldn't tell if it was because she was jealous or because she was surprised to find out I have a love life, albeit a fake one.
But she didn't know that.
"How'd this happen?"
"Yesterday he showed up at the bookstore. We talked, and I invited him to Jupiter's game."
"That's it?"
No. "Pretty much."
"Wow. Well, that's cool. Hey maybe now we can double."
I doubted that would happen. Instead I told her, "Yeah, maybe."
Then I ascended the stairs to my—our room—where I started to write this. Now it's finished, and yet I'M STILL FREAKING OUT!!!
How do I pretend to have a boyfriend? Will I have to kiss him? How many fake dates am I going to have to go out on?
WHY DID I AGREE TO THIS?!
Please, will somebody please tell me I'm not crazy? Please?
Goodnight, World.
Bunny
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RESPONSES TO ENTRY: JuneBunny-4/21/04-9:52 PMeastern
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Response: LastBREATH
You know, the whole stealing your sister's boyfriend appealed to me at first, but now I'm starting to second guess my thinking. This plan of yours seems a little too farfetched. You said yourself that scenarios like this only occur in movies. Well I'm betting that happy endings, as well, only happen in movies. You're just setting yourself up for disaster.
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Response: SeXyZbAbE
Hell, girl. You sure know how to live. Your life's like a damn soap opera, only without the comas and surprise pregnancies. Hey, you don't think your sister's pregnant, do yah?
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Response: boxersORbriefs
Soccer rocks!!! I bet your friend Jupiter is a real beast (in a good way, of course) if she plays center.
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Response: mmmmDoughnuts
What do you call a rich walnut? A DOUGHNUT!!!!
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Response: AniIZmyLeADer
Most girls like it when a guy opens a door for a girl, but I find it annoying. Let this guy know where you stand. Let him know that you want to be his equal in this pretend relationship you have entered with him. If he is going to open doors for you, then make sure he knows that you plan on opening doors for him. Women and men are equal!
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Response: DannyBoi89
Bunny, don't listen to that AniIZmyLeADer chick. Blue Eyes was not trying to belittle you by opening the car door. He was showing you that he respects you. That's all.
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AniIZmyLeADer responded to DannyBoi89:
If anything, Blue Eyes was mocking her. He was putting on a show for anyone who may or may not have been watching. He was saying, "Hey, look at my bitch." His gentlemanly act was just that: An act.
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DannyBoi89 responded to AniIZmyLeADer:
Oh, get down from your soap box. Even if it was just an act, at least he has enough sense to know how to behave like a guy should around a lady. Besides, Bunny doesn't seem too upset over the fact that he opened her door. So, I don't see why your panties should be in a twist.
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AniIZmyLeADer responded to DannyBoi89:
I'm upset because this girl's feminine spirit is being oppressed by this boy and his take-charge, chauvinistic attitude. If she's smart, she will not go through with this silly plan and forget all about Blue Eyes and her sister's boyfriend.
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DannyBoi89 responded to AniIZmyLeADer:
If she's smart, she won't listen to you.
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IH8Dis responded to DannyBoi89's response to AniIZmyLeADer:
Why don't you two go find a broom closet together and put your sexual tension to good use?
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Response: IH8Dis
You are one cra-a-zy motherfucker.
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ONLINE DIARIEZ. ORG
(where freedom of thought rulez)
Diary: Useless Information
User: GreenThumbs
4/21/04
10:22 PM eastern
Well, I did it.
I went to the soccer game tonight at Serena's school and presented her with my plan, and now I have an imaginary girlfriend, which should not be confused with an imaginary girlfriend a guy makes up to impress his friends because in my case there is, technically, a living, breathing girl involved.
We just have an arrangement in which we date, but not really. Sort of like friends-with-benefits only without the sexual benefits.
I'm still reeling from the fact that she agreed to do it. I didn't have to plead or talk her into it or anything. Sure, she stalled a bit before answering, but in the end she agreed.
She had a few questions and a few doubts concerning the probability success of my plan, which was to be expected, and I tried to answer them the best I could and in the least intimidating of ways.
Honestly? I was surprised she didn't ask more questions than she did. Mostly, she just voiced some doubts about her ability to give a believable performance. Then she ignored me the rest of the night.
Maybe ignored is the wrong word, so let me rephrase that. She became introverted the rest of the night. She went all shy, which I, admittedly, found rather adorable and cute, but she doesn't know that.
I think she just wanted to avoid the subject tonight, which is fine and might actually work with my plan. I'm not really after Mina, so it doesn't really matter to me whether the pretend boyfriend-girlfriend thing is believable or not.
I just have to make Serena think she is pulling off some grand caper and then have her walk in accidentally on Andrew with Barbara (or whoever) doing it somewhere.
OK. Maybe that's a bit harsh. All she needs to see is them kissing. Shy, innocent Serena does not need to see Andrew impaling some chick with his penis. Seeing him kiss another girl will be enough for Serena to realize he is not boyfriend material.
God, I hope I can pull this off because I have a feeling it is going to be a lot harder than I originally planned. It always looks easier in the movies.
It first dawned on me that things would not go smoothly when I took Serena's hand tonight (We decided to start making it look official when Serena's soccer playing friend Lita joined us in the bleachers at the end of her game). Taking her hand wasn't the hard part. That was easy.
It was the way Serena tensed when touched her that had me thinking "Uh oh." I forgot that Serena's shyness was the result of inexperience. Just holding her hand freaked her out. What would happen when I had to kiss her to make our relationship more believable?
She'd freeze up like a dead body in a mafia don's freezer, is what.
Admittedly, I don't think she would be as tense if no one were watching, but how are we supposed to make people think we are dating if they don't see us kiss.
I could give her a hickey, I guess, but that would embarrass the hell out of her.
Then again, people really don't have to believe we are dating in order for the plan to work; however, Serena has to think that people think we are dating because she thinks were are trying to make Mina and Andrew jealous.
God, this is confusing. Maybe it is a good thing I am keeping this diary. It's like a record of all the lies I've told.
I hate lying. I keep telling myself that "the end justifies the means," but I still feel like shit. A lying shit.
Oh well, this shit has already stepped too far into the shit to back out now.
Shit. Sorry, I feel like saying that word. If I could I'd say it over and over as loud as possible. Too bad for me it is not socially acceptable. So bare with me why I get it out of my system in writing:
Shit. SHIT! Shhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttt! Shitty. Shitmister. Shitola. Shit. Shittier. Shittiest. Shit this!! Shit on you, and you, and you. Yeah, shit this.
OK. I'm done. Sometimes I think it is therapeutic to just randomly say your favorite cuss word in funny voices. Weird, I know, but both amazingly fun and entertaining.
So anyway, my plan. Tomorrow, I plan on surprising Serena at work. I figure we'll go to the arcade where Andrew works after she gets off and make our first public appearance as a "couple" (I don't really count last night). I'll tell Serena that it will be the first step in making Andrew jealous yada yada. We'll act chummy, and she'll believe it is part of the plan.
This is where I admit that there are perks to this plan of mine: Andrew will eventually get his comeuppance, and I get to spend time with Serena, who I have a feeling will be really fun to be around once she loosens up. After all, the girl did pinch my butt the first time I met her. Obviously there is a wild, fun side inside that blond head of hers. I believe it will be kind of enjoyable bringing out the rarely seen side of her.
Plus, the more she does something against her nature, the more she'll blush, and that is just so damn cute!
Today's Useless Information: A blue whale's tongue weighs more than an elephant.
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RESPONSES TO ENTRY: GreenThumbs-4/21/04-10:22 PMeastern
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Response: NYsubwayMan
Have you ever thought about telling the truth? Sometimes the truth hurts, and other times the truth will set you free. Your odds are fifty-fifty, man. I'd go with the one that doesn't put your conscience through hell.
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Response: xtreamSK8ERdude
ABORT! ABORT! Dude, this girl sounds like a total virgin. As a rule, I stay away from those. Take my advice; it's not worth the trouble.
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SpeaksMyMind responded to xtreamSK8ERdude:
And just what's that supposed to mean?
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xtreamSK8ERdude responded to SpeaksMyMind:
Hey, I meant nothing by what I said. I just meant that most virgins are kind of standoffish, you know? Like, they've got all these "Do Not Touch" signs taped all over their bodies. A cool dude like GreenThumbs shouldn't have to tip-toe around some girl just to get her to realize that Andrew has a girlfriend other than her sister. Jeeze.
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SpeaksMyMind responded to xtreamSK8ERdude:
I don't know how many virgins you've encountered, but I think your theories are stupid. I think you are put off by virgins because the only ones you've met were too smart to fall for you. I'd bet the only girls you can get to sleep with you are the ones who do it for money, and even then I bet they have to do it in the dark…with their eyes closed.
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xtreamSK8ERdude responded to SpeaksMyMind:
You know you want me.
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Response: KISSmeTenderly
I know you have a pretend girlfriend and all, but I'm still interested. Like I said before, I blush, especially when someone rubs their tongue along my…well you get the picture.
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xtreamSK8ERdude responded to KISSmeTenderly:
Hey, I don't know about GreenThumbs, but I'd love to have your number.
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Response: IH8Dis
I don't know who's more screwed up: you or your reviewers.
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A.N. I hope this was worth the wait. Tell me what you thought. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Happy reviews are, too.
