Author's Note: Well, I was hoping to have this finished by Christmas, but obviously that's not going to happen, but I'm going to finish this anyways, and there's still quite a few chapters to go. Now this is POST 7.10, a few days after. So, Merry Christmas Eve (or Merry Christmas, depending where you are), and on with the show!


Only a few days had passed, but things were changing faster than normal. At least for Lorelai. Soon after that last wedding appointment with her mother, things were slowly yet smoothly going downhill. It seemed like she could never make him happy. Almost everything that they discussed, they disagreed on, and whenever she'd want to try and talk it out, he'd just storm off, leaving her standing there, wondering how everything could be going so wrong so fast.

She couldn't help but think that maybe he was getting some bad vibes from her. That maybe, after what happened with Luke, he could just tell that something was up, and he didn't like it. She had already been doubting her marriage before, and every situation, every argument, every time he ran off, it just gave her more reason to. Their problems hadn't just started, they had been going on for a long time. From the minute he showed up on her doorstep for their "first" date, those little things happened that made that red flag go up in her head, but she ignored it. She felt there was nothing else she could do.

But she had made the decision that she wouldn't even think about the "Luke" situation until she dealt with the "Christopher" situation. She made the choice that she really needed to make an effort with her current marriage instead of just letting it all go downhill. After all, nobody likes to break up during the holidays.

She was never far from Luke's thoughts, though. How could she not be? All the holly-jolliness going around, the decorations everywhere, the people constantly talking about what happened at the Christmas party and who kissed who under the mistletoe, the whole season was just so Lorelai. But even he had noticed there was no snow. That situation had gone from a little odd to really out-of-the-ordinary to simply confusing. There was a little over a week and a half till Christmas, and not a single flake of snow had fallen. Taylor had blamed it on global warming and had tried to start a "Car-free Stars Hollow" campaign to try and reduce the pollution so it might snow, but of course the townies quickly shot it down, like most of Taylor's other ideas. Yes, everything was normal in Stars Hollow. Well, almost.

It wasn't so much their argument he thought about when he was reminded of her. What he couldn't help but wonder was that maybe she really was happy with that guy. He kept telling himself to move on, that she was married now, whether she was happy with it or not, whether he was happy with it or not.

But still, he figured that things couldn't be going too great with them. What else could have made Christopher so angry that he wanted to punch him? The morning after the fight, the town had woken up to all the wrecked Christmas decorations battered and strewn across the town square, but surprisingly, nobody had seen or heard the fight. Luke hadn't really wanted to fight him, but hell, Christopher had taken the first punch, and he wasn't about to let the opportunity to kick his ass pass by. But he wondered if he had told Lorelai about it.

He hadn't. Even Christopher knew that he didn't need any more problems with Lorelai than he already had.


More time passed. As the days went on, the Christmas rush grew intensely. People were running around, buying last-minute gifts for this person and that person, mailmen's bags were reaching a size similar to Santa's bag of toys as all the holiday cards and packages were mailed. Everything was in order.

And the Christmas rush wasn't the only thing that had increased. While the holidays do stress some people out, in general they're supposed to make things more relaxed in the least, right? But Lorelai and Christopher's relationship seemed to get worse by the hour, even with all the holiday cheer going around.

She had begun to notice something. Back in the beginning of their relationship, he had appeared to be the perfect man. It seemed like he had really changed that time. But after they had begun to get settled into their "married" life, he started acting more and more like the Christopher she remembered. The immature one, the stubborn one, the one that she had gotten into so many fights with in the past, only to leave her in tears and him gone. He couldn't understand that there were certain things in her life that she simply couldn't change. He just wouldn't listen. Sure, she understood that she had to make some sacrifices for it to work, but now he barely left her the chance to even make a suggestion. Every fight, every time he left her hurt and confused, it wore down on her that much more. Everything, from the little things in the start to their major arguments they were having all the time now, it was all wearing down on her. She was no longer doubting their relationship. She was sure it was wrong.

And the next day, she had had it.

This time, it was an argument about the Winter Carnival, which was on Christmas Eve that year. She didn't want anyone thinking that she was avoiding it because of what happened the year before, especially Luke. Plus, she wanted another chance for all her townie friends to get to know Christopher. But apparently, he wasn't up to it.

"Why don't you want to go?"

"Because I don't."

She wasn't about to let it go though. She had been doing that with too many other things.

"Well, I can't just run a booth by myself! It's already bad enough with Rory not here for Christmas, and the fact is we need a little bit of spirit around here!"

"Hey, there's other ways to get holiday spirit! Our holiday happiness doesn't really depend on this, now does it?"

"Chris, come on, I know it doesn't, but this is something I really want to do."

"Can't you get someone else to do it with you? I mean, what about Sookie?"

"She has her kids to take around to everything." Lorelai knew it probably hadn't been the smartest thing to mention kids with him, but it was too late.

"Oh yeah. Her kids. Well, how about that French guy you work with?"

"Michel? Please, that's the last thing he'd want to do. Besides, there's a Sheryl Crow concert on TV that night."

"I thought he was into Celine Dion?"

"Well, yes, but a man can have choices."

"Ah. Okay then. Well, isn't there anyone else."

"No, Chris. Please? Just this one thing to make me happy."

"Oh, so you weren't happy before?"

"You know what I mean."

"Actually, no, I don't!"

"You know what? Fine. We won't have a booth. Will you at least go with me? We can walk around, hopefully there'll be snow by then, it'll be all pretty-"

"Yeah, pretty cold. I don't get all head-over-heels about snow like you do, Lor, you know that."

"Well, still, it'll be fun. I promise."

Chris got up from the table, where they had been eating dinner. "Uh-huh, sure. Walking around in freezing cold weather, the smell of processed corn dogs all around, the sound of all those annoying Christmas songs being played badly by the community band, all your friends whispering about me when I'm not looking, oh yeah, that sounds like MAJOR fun."

"It's not like that. Jeez, Christopher, why can't you just do this one thing?"

"Because, I don't want to! I don't want to waste all that time, especially when we can be having a better time somewhere else!"

"It's just one night, Christopher!"

"Oh, well, why should I have to make that sacrifice when you don't make any?"

"Wow, are you serious!?"

"Yes! Everything we do, you don't want to do, or you want it to be done differently, and you never just let it go!"

"Hey, I know I was like that at first, but I apologized and I've been making sacrifice after sacrifice since!"

"Oh sure Lor!"

"Christopher, don't be like that!"

"You know what? I'm leaving."

He grabbed his jacket that was in the counter and was halfway out the door when Lorelai spoke up. She wasn't going to let him leave again.

"No! Christopher, you will stay here and we will talk this out until it's done!" She was pretty sure the whole neighborhood could hear her then, but she didn't care. It was all or nothing.

He was absolutely shocked by the bossy, stern, angry tone in her voice as she screamed at him. He wasn't used to that at all.

"God, Lor, calm down!"

"Don't tell me to calm down! I am so sick of us fighting all the time and then you just leaving, not even giving me a chance to say a word of what I have to say!"

"You've got to be kidding me! I leave only when I've heard enough of your crap!"

"Are you serious!? I'm only able to get two words in half the time before you get all 'Boo-hoo, poor me' and refuse to talk about anything!"

"Well, it doesn't matter what I say anyways!"

"Now what's that supposed to mean!?"

"You always get your way! I just make it that much easier by not talking!"

"Please! The only time I get my way is when you actually listen to what I say, so obviously not very often!"

"Lor, I listen way more than you think! But I've made so many changes in my life for you, and I just can't see why you won't do the same for me!"

"Chris, I've made changes when I could! There are some things I just can't change, and you just don't seem to get that!"

"You know what, you're right, I don't!"

They stopped yelling, but the silence lasted for only a second.

"You know what Lor, let's just forget it! Go to your carnival without me, please, maybe you'll 'accidentally' run into Luke again. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Oh my god, Christopher! I can't believe you're still mad about that! I said it then and I'll say again now: there is nothing going on with us! You don't get to tell me who I talk to and who I don't!"

She had no idea where all this was coming from. Never in a million years would she of thought to let all this out on him, now of all times. But either way, she was there, possibly throwing her marriage out the window.

"Do you think I'm stupid? I could tell there was something going on with you two!"

"You have absolutely no reason to doubt me, Chris!"

"Really?"

"Really! What reasons could you possibly have to doubt me?"

"Well, let's see. First, you get all freaked out about having kids with the man you're married to! Yeah, I think that's a bit odd."

She was about to object, but he continued.

"Then, you don't want to exchange vows at the party that's supposed to be a celebration of your marriage!"

"Why are you bringing al this up! We already discussed it all!"

"Really!? Well, I don't remember it being settled at all!"

"That's because you never talk to me anymore!"

"And we're back again to the same thing!"

There was yet another silence. Both stood there, staring at each other, exhausted from screaming so much.

Lorelai couldn't do it anymore. The fact of the matter was, the second she began to doubt their relationship, it was over. The second you think "but…?" in a partnership, you know it's not right. You just may not want to admit it. She hadn't wanted to. So she had gone on, thinking she was happy, pretending she was happy, so that that she had not only fooled everyone around her into thinking she really was okay and happy, but she had fooled herself.

This was it. It was all or nothing.

"Why do we fight all the time?"

"You know what? I don't really know Lor. I just want the truth from you."

She could have just lied. She could have just said that he was reading way too much into it all and that everything was okay, that everything would be okay. She could have just hugged him and everything would be all nice again, and she would continue on pretending, trying to figure out if she was happy or not for the rest of her life.

Or she could have at least told him that everything was fine and then drop the bomb after Christmas.

But she didn't do any of that. What she did was irrational, unpractical, and could have possibly been the worst mistake of her life.

But she did it anyway.

"Chris… I- I can't do this anymore."

All expression just flew off of his face. He knew what she meant, but in an almost inaudible voice, he replied, "Wait. Lor, what do you mean?"

"I mean it's over. I'm just so sick of this."

"Sick of what, Lor? I thought you loved me."

She caught herself before she could say, "But I do love you." She had forced herself to say it so much, that it eventually was like she was on autopilot, unable to show any other reaction.

"I- I don't think I ever really did, Chris. I mean, yeah, when we were kids, but now… it's just gone. It's been gone for such a long time. I just… I forced myself to believe it was still there. I-"

"You were pretending."

Some other than the voice in her head had finally said it.

"Yeah, I- I think I was. Look, Chris, I'm so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you. It's just not going to work with us. We-"

"No, Lor, don't. I don't want to know why. Because, the way I see it, there really is no reason why this couldn't work, because it could have. But it doesn't matter. I just- I really wish you had mentioned this before."

"Yeah, I know." She was near tears, but she didn't really feel the need to cry. It was mostly because she was so disgusted with herself. She was tired of hurting people like she had been.

"I mean, it's three weeks until our wedding."

"I know, and don't worry, I'll take care of everything, even my mother."

"Whatever. You know, I'm just going to spend the night at a hotel or something, I need time to clear my head."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'll come by tomorrow and get all my stuff. Now I guess it's a good thing I didn't sell my old house, huh."

"Chris-"

"No, Lor, I don't want to talk to you right now, okay?" he told her, his voice trembling more and more with each word.

He went upstairs and grabbed some of his stuff before going back downstairs, slamming the door, and driving off into the night, while the whole time she was just standing there, not able to move, not able to say a word.

It had been that darn holiday magic. She would never have ever just let the bomb drop on him like that, so sudden, so quick. Who knows, things might have gotten better if she had given it time. Or it might have just gotten worse. But she took the risk. It had all been inside of her this whole time, just waiting to come out, and the magic had just given it that little extra push.

But it also might have been that magic that had made him take it like that. It was the magic that had made him be as calm as he was, considering the circumstances. He wouldn't have taken it like that normally.

Of course, this wasn't going through her mind at the time. Right then, she was thinking that she had just completely thrown her marriage away. But she was glad she had done it.

She had finally realized just how unhappy she had been.

She didn't break down. She didn't fall into a sobbing mess onto the floor, she didn't yell or cry or over-analyze all that had just happened. Instead, she just went to bed, her empty bed. She was going to think about things. She'd think a little about what had gone wrong, a little about that last argument, and a lot about what was next in her life. She was moving on.

The old Lorelai was back, and boy, did it feel good.


tbc