Author's Note: Okay, I know I'm taking too long to update, but I'm not feeling very confidant in my writing quality right now, and I'm taking extra time to go over it before I post. Anyway, hope this chapter's worth the wait!
He turned around and saw her slowly walk through the door. He simply couldn't believe it.
The sound of the ringtone continued on, echoing off the walls of the empty diner, and he hung up the phone as she began scrambling through her purse to find her ringing phone.
She grabbed hold of her phone right as it stopped ringing. She checked to see who it was, and when she saw the name of who it had been, she was just as astounded as he was.
He turned back around to see her standing there, facing him, right in front of the door.
"Lorelai," he said, his facial expression in a mixture of awe and shock.
"Hey, Luke." she paused, looking at him, trying to see if she could read what he was thinking. She looked around. "Wow, what happened here? Did Kirk streak through the diner naked or something?"
"What? Oh, no. I, um, see… Anna's lawyer has to go out of town, and I have to go to a last minute meeting before he leaves, and I just got the call a little while ago, so I had to close up."
"Oh."
"Yeah, well, I would have kept it open, but Lane had a pregnancy appointment thing, so she's… yeah," Luke continued awkwardly.
"Well, okay then." As much as she fought it, she couldn't help but feel saddened. How could her timing have been so bad? "So, I guess you need to leave then, huh?"
"Yeah. Actually, um, I kinda need a favor. See, I let Liz borrow my truck since I didn't know I'd have to go somewhere, so…"
"You need to borrow my car?"
"Yeah."
"Oh well, sure, no problem," she said, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice as she began to jumble through her purse, trying to find her keys.
He watched her, trying to search for what she was feeling. Lorelai Gilmore was a complex creature. What she didn't say in words, she said in her body language, her facial expressions. Even the tiniest mannerism for her could mean something. And after the many past years, Luke had become fluent in her language.
He could tell something was up.
She walked over and handed him her keys.
"Here you go. Bring it back anytime, I'm not going anywhere today," she said.
"Okay, thanks," he responded, reluctantly.
She made her way to the door, pretending she was in a hurry but really waiting for him to say something. Anything.
He knew he just couldn't let her leave. She had come for a reason. He didn't know why, he didn't even know if her was right, but that feeling in his gut was telling him that she needed him right then. That she had come for a reason.
"Lorelai-"
"Yeah, Luke?"
"Well, if you want…" He was going out on a limb, he knew that. He would never normally take this risk, especially with someone who had broken his heart. But he did it anyway. "… why don't you come with me?" Before she could get in a word, he continued, "The meeting won't take long, it's just an end-of-the-year, go-over-the-terms thing so we can for it before the trial in January. And there's this little boutique across the street from the office that I think you'll like," he said with a little smile. He knew shopping would always be her weakness, no matter what.
He knew. She knew that he must of known about hers and Christopher's split. And well, she did need to get away. And, it might be nice to talk to him again…
And she'd get to shop. She couldn't ask for a better deal.
"Um… yeah. Okay, sure," she said, sounding more certain with each word.
"Okay then. Let's go."
She let him go out first while she lingered around for a second. She couldn't believe how nonchalant her first entrance back to the diner had been. She had had a few vague daydreams, mostly near the end with Christopher, of what it would be like when she eventually went back to the diner. How big a moment it would be, how breathtaking it would be to finally be back to the place that had been a sanctuary for years. And yet, when it actually happened, there was nothing. It was just like another Lorelai's-in-pain-and-needs-coffee entrance. As she began to walk out the door, not having her first-entrance-back-into-the-diner moment till then, she finally realized why it hadn't been as big as she thought it would. She had been looking at him the whole time. Not the counter, not the tables, not the coffee maker, not the place she had come to know and loved. She had been staring at him and nothing else.
Him and nothing else.
She continued to walk out of the diner, backwards, though, taking in every last breath of her "moment," when she went too far, and ran into Luke, who had been waiting for her right outside.
"Hey, be careful now, it'll still be there when we get back," he said with one of his charming, warm smiles that brought back so many memories in an instant.
She just smiled back. This was going to be interesting.
Ten minutes had passed, and you could cut the awkwardness with a knife. Things started out okay, but after awhile, they both knew what was happening. He knew there was something was bothering her, but she would say a word.
The voice in her head was telling her to say something.
Come on, tell him what's wrong! He'll understand!
Now, she knew that was true. Maybe. Well, after all that happened, how could she be really sure?
Just say it! Don't be a coward, you chicken! Bawk, bawk, bawk!!!
She let out a small, almost inaudible sigh. There was nothing else she could do. If she didn't tell him what was wrong, this whole thing would be a complete bust.
Now, you can do it. Okay, Lorelai, on the count of three. One, two…
"Luke?"
"Yeah?" He was so relieved she finally said something.
"I need to… to tell you something."
"Okay, what?"
"Christopher and I… are done."
"Done?"
"Done."
"Done, as in…?"
"Do you really need me to spell it out?" she snapped.
"No, no," he stopped her before it went to far. "So… well…" What could he say? That he was sorry? Yeah, right. Both of them, along with everyone else involved knew that he wasn't sorry.
She knew. "It's okay," she said as she looked over at him.
She looked straight in. It was the first time she had looked him right in the eyes, the first time she gazed into his deep inside of them since they broke up.
And he couldn't help but look back. It was an automatic reaction, her bright blue eyes, so beautiful and full of life, just drew him in. But he didn't know that she was just as memorized he was.
It was still there.
Something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye.
"Luke, the road!"
"Wha-?" He had almost been driving completely on the side of the road. And a tree was just a little ways away.
He swerved back onto the road with plenty of time to spare. But just the scare was enough for him to keep his eyes on the road for the rest of the ride.
She stared out the window for a moment. What had just happened? It brought back a feeling, what feeling she couldn't remember, she could barely remember feeling it before…
"Lorelai?" He had been mentally talking to the voice in his head, and knew he needed to ask her something.
"Yeah?"
"Do you... do you need to talk about it?"
Wow. She found it a bit odd for him to actually ask for her to spill out all her crazy emotions to him. Yes, this was exactly what she had wanted, what she had gone to him for, but she never actually expected him to bring it up.
"Uh... well..."
Another relationship failed. Another one gone. The longer she went without things feeling right, the more certain she was in her feeling that she would end up alone.
Alone. It was her biggest fear. To not be with the one. To never obtain the one things she wanted more than anything, although she'd never let herself admit it. For the one to not forgive her for all the unforgivable mistakes she made.
Just the thought...
Her eyes began to well up, full of tears ready to fall at a moment's notice.
"Lorelai, it's okay, I was maki-"
"No, Luke."
He paused, waiting for her to continue.
She took in a sharp breath before starting, "I just... from the beginning, I think I subconsciously knew that it's wouldn't work out in the end. But I felt like it had to work, you know? Like there was nothing else. So I kind of... forced myself, I guess, into believing it was true. That maybe everything was fine and right. I sort of..."
"You were pretending," he interrupted, still looking straight forward.
She looked at him. "Yeah. Exactly. And..." She had thought this would be hard, opening up to Luke after all that had happened, and about her breakup with Christopher of all things, but it wasn't. She was, in fact, pretty darn comfortable with it. Luke she'd always been. "... and I just hate that I did that."
"Well, of course. Anyone would, really."
"Yeah, I guess that's true. But Luke, I thought you should know. I came to the diner today because Christopher was coming over to..."
"... get all his stuff, right? And you couldn't be there while he was?"
"Um, okay, what's with the taking-the-words-out-of-my-mouth thingy for you today?"
"Sorry, sorry," he said with a small grin.
The last puzzle piece fell into place in Lorelai's mind, and she went along with her hunch.
"You already knew, didn't you?"
"Knew what?"
"About me and Christopher?"
"I might have heard a thing or two..."
"Oh, man, you have got to be kidding. We've been in this car this whole time, me taking forever trying to convince myself to tell you about it, and you knew!?"
"Well, let's just say I have excellent hearing."
She fake-gasped. "You heard from Babette, didn't you? What, was she being extra loud so she could let you know without telling you directly? Or was she being extra quiet so you'd know something was up?"
"The latter, surprisingly."
"No way, she almost never uses that one!"
Of course, Lorelai had distracted Luke once again, and he wasn't paying enough attention to the road. He looked back to the road and swerved back on to it, yet again, in a spilt second. This time, though, Lorelai hadn't noticed that they were off-road, and her body flew a bit forward, her left arm lightly hitting the dashboard, but just in the right spot to really hurt. She let out a small yelp, and within a millisecond, Luke responded.
"Lorelai, are you okay?! Man, this is the second time I've done this today! I- "
"Luke, I'm fine, I just hit my arm."
"Well, are you sure? You might have hit it wrong and hurt something," and like he was on autopilot, trying to keep his eye on the road at the same time, he reached over and softly, gently rubbed her arm right where it had been hit.
It felt like a wave running through her body when he touched her. Even the tiniest touch by him created something in her.
He caught on to what she was feeling, and he left his hand there a while longer than normal, letting his hand glide delicately down her arm, almost to her hand, before pulling away.
She had been watching his hand, then swiftly looked away once he pulled back. She looked back up at him, and he was staring right back at her. Her first thought was that he was, yet again, about to drive off of the road. But out of the corner of her eye, she saw that they were at a stoplight.
Perfect timing.
Sometimes, things have to start small. Just a simple touch, a simple look, and a little magic can begin what had been lost all over again.
tbc
