After a loooong delay, I present to you the last sucky and short chapter before everything is all happy again... Oops. I wasn't supposed to say that.
Btw, since it was uber short, notice some repitition and my attempts to make it longer... ah, wells, it's written, and the last angsty chapter you'd have to see. Third part to the angst.
Warning and Disclaimer: Hikaru's strange personality; Kaoru's confusion... and their dramatics. I do not own them, once again, or else ths would never happen.
Moment Fifteen-
-Bye
But it's really happening. And it's really a nightmare.
He's not leaving me. After all that, he's not really leaving me.
…Right?
And I can always see, that he has this sort of neutral smile on, and he'd sit in the front courtyard in front of the large sakura tree. And it's eerie because he's not bothering me.
This isn't Hikaru. This is someone who's controlling Hikaru's actions and manipulating him into thinking that everything is his fault-
Hikaru isn't a person who's supposed to be depressed.
The window's open, and I peer down into the courtyard, and things are scattered around the front lawn, like a suitcase, as my heart tightens- he's not really leaving… right?
He can mean many things- and in his extent, he can kill himself, or he can just leave and I'll never see him again.
In every possibility, it's a nightmare.
And he's leaving me.
And it's scaring me that I don't want him to leave me.
"Kao-kun, I want to give you something." I blink, turning from the window to his figure in the doors. He's holding something, and he runs up to me and smashes the pink fabric into my face. He walks a little away from me, smiling almost blissfully, "Take care of Usa-chan for me, onegai. Usa-chan needs to brush his teeth morning, lunch, and after dinner. He likes strawberry cake the best, and after that, French vanilla cookies."
He stands in front of me, and for once he has a normal coat on, looking normal, and he begins to list out things, "Don't overwork yourself, get enough sleep, and the supermarket's on the corner on main street. There's an ice cream stop just down the corner if you want to eat that, and a lot of places sell pocky. The cookies you can always get on the fourth floor. And-And…"
I'm silent, as I look at the plush rabbit, and look back to him, "Hikaru… you…"
He cuts me off, as he bows deeply, mumbling, his voice cracking, and his eyes are obscured for just a second, "I'm sorry for everything… I… I won't bother you anymore. Bye, Kaoru."
And in an instant he leaves, and I can clearly see- tears, tears are falling, but I'm simply confused, as the door slams closed, leaving me alone-
But it's really happening.
And it's really a nightmare.
And he's right; now that he's gone, I can live a normal life all over again. He'll be a thing of the past- like he was years ago, and I'll just be confused until I push everything away again and live, an emptiness in my heart, like I always have.
I stare at the rabbit for a second, before my grip on it grew tight, and salty, warm drops fall down my cheeks, as I hug it close to me, my voice quiet in the empty room, the too empty room.
"Bye, Hikaru."
I can't stop him; it's his decision, not mine.
But my tears, my nightmare doesn't end, even after he's gone.
"Hikaru-kun!" I heard a shout, and I turned my eyes towards a woman, running up to the both of us. I saw him tense up slightly, as she reached over and grabbed his small shoulders, her voice breathless, "Hikaru-kun, we're going home. Now."
His eyes widened, before he pulled stubbornly away from her, "No! I want to play with Kao-kun!"
"Gomene, Hikaru-kun. But you can't play with him anymore," and she picked his five-year-old body off the ground with great difficultly-
-and from behind a tree, I watched, dazed, wondering, my eyes just as wide-
I just had my new friend too. No, he couldn't go!
-and he's crying, and squirming, "It's not fair, it's not fair!"
"Hikaru-kun, it can't be helped," she said, and she sounded genuinely sad, and his crying lowered into sobs, as he buried his face into her shoulder.
"Hika-kun?" I called out, confused, coming from my hiding place- and I almost want to run, to grab his hand in mine, and we could play again-
He blinked, then looked up, tear trails running down his cheeks, as he brought a hand up weakly, his voice soft, "Bye, Kao-kun."
And I stood still, my hand still trying to reach out, as I whispered, "Bye."
It was the day when my child's innocence was broken.
The day I thought about the smiles and the tears.
And… if I smiled just to be happy, why was it that someone took it away?
Why smile at all?
