Disclaimer: Well… I own heaps of Naruto merchandise… but no Naruto characters… I SHALL OWN ONE, ONE DAY! I SWEAR ON THE POWER OF YOUTH! GAI-SENSEI, BE PROUD OF ME!
A/N: Here it is; the first actual chapter! Hope you guys like! Now onto writing 'That Dobe Is MINE!' for me.
Warning:Yaoi/Shonen Ai, Smut, Cussing, Slight OOCness
READ THIS BEFORE YOU READ FURTHER!
Okay, you see, I live in Australia where it is summer over the Christmas/New Years break, so it would feel weird for me to write this fic so that it is set in winter, therefore, this fic is set in summer.
Last Chapter:
"Please, no Kyuubi, please, I'm begging you, don't make me go in there! I don't want Tsunade fussing and Jiraiya asking me to help him write his stupid porno novels-"
"What was that I heard about 'stupid porno novels' Naruto?" The door had been flung open and standing in the doorway was an angry-looking, grey-haired old man.
"Nothing Jiraiya-sama-"
"What have I told you Kyuubi? Call me Jiraiya. We are family."
"Unfortunately," The blonde grumbled under his breath as they were ushered inside.
Why me?
Chapter 1: Confessions Of A Drunken Aunt
"By the way, brat, you're late. Everyone is already here." Jiraiya said as he led the two out to the back yard. It wasn't really like a backyard though. The size of it was more like a football field, though, with this many people in it, you couldn't really tell.
"Why Naru-chan, I didn't think you'd be here. Where've you been man?" Asked a scruffy brunette teen about the same age as Naruto.
"Kiba, if you ever call me that again I'll kill you. And for your information Kyuubi stopped off to get some alcohol, not that we need any more here. I'm sure Tsunade wouldn't mind sharing some of hers for once. Wait, what are you doing here? Who brought you?"
The brunette rolled his eyes before looking back to the blonde, "Everyone knows that your New Years parties are pretty much open to anyone so I just invited myself, Naru-chan," He smirked a little before turning to look at a few people over the other side of the yard, ignoring the blonde's rants about 'not being a girl'. The brunette scowled a little before he continued talking.
"Your aunt, Tsunade, decided to invite a few people from school for you. She knows how much you hate these parties so she wanted you to know a few more people this year. But she doesn't really know your friends groups so she invited the Uchihas, Hyuugas, Sabakus and Sai, along with Sakura, Ino, Shino, Shikamaru, Chouji, Lee and Haku. Man, I don't even know why Itachi, Sasuke, Neji and Gaara came. Well, I know why Sai came at least. It's probably to either hit on you or insult your dick."
Naruto watched the groups at the other side of the yard. Sakura and Ino were both clinging to Sasuke, who was just glaring at them as usual. Neji, Sai and Gaara were 'talking' (if you could call it that) to eachother and the others were just chatting to eachother normally, or as normal as they could be seeing as usually they don't all hang out together. But one thing kept ringing in his ears; 'I don't even know why Itachi, Sasuke, Neji and Gaara came.'
Why did they come? Only one way to find out I guess, Naruto thought to himself, before grabbing Kiba and rushing off towards the groups, leaving Kyuubi behind to do his own thing.
"Hey, dude, what's so important that you have to grab me and drag me?" Naruto relinquished his hold on the brunette.
"Heh, sorry Kiba, I just wanna find out what Sasuke-teme(1) and his 'friends' are doing here."
"Whatever Naruto, but you can do it without me. That Gaara guy freaks me out."
Naruto rolled his eyes at his friend before walking straight up to the group.
"Hey, you guys," The four turned to look blankly at the blonde, while Ino and Sakura just glared at the blonde, "Why did you come to this, uh, get-together?"
"Well, we could leave our little Naru-chan all on his lonesome, so we decided to come for company." Sai smirked at the blonde.
"Hey, Sakura-chan, lets go get some food," Ino suggested quickly, she didn't want to be in the middle when the blonde blew up. Neither did Sakura. They both quickly hurried off.
"Why the hell does everyone keep calling me 'Naru-chan'? I am not a girl!" Naruto's face was turning red out of anger while Sasuke, Neji, and Sai couldn't help but smirk at the blonde's reaction. Gaara just stared at him.
He was definitely fragile enough to be a girl, with his small figure and slender features. Anyone could easily mistake him for a girl if he wore a skirt. Kiba had made Naruto test it out once by dressing him in a maid's costume and sending him into the Konoha mall. It had had terrifying results, ending with Naruto being chased out of the mall by a horde of horny men. Kiba had never let him live it down.
"Huh? Why Naru-chan, of course you're not a girl, you just look like one, brat." The blonde spun around angrily to see Tsunade holding an empty bottle of sake. She looked like she could hardly stand. Honestly, she's drunk already?
"It's obvious that you're a guy. Seriously," She swayed drunkenly towards Sai, "I changed his nappies when he was younger and kami;(2) there is no way on earth that he could be a girl. He's got a huge penis," By now Sasuke and Neji looked as close to laughing as was possible for the Hyuugas and Uchihas, whereas Sai wasn't as good an actor. He burst out laughing. Gaara's eyes just laughed.
Naruto was steadily growing redder and redder. Well, at least Sai can't insult my penis anymore.
"Tsunade-baa-chan(3)," Naruto managed to growl out through his teeth, "I think it's time you went inside."
"Nonsense brat, I was just getting to the good bit," She turned back to the smirking teens, ignoring Naruto's ongoing pleas to go inside, and continued, "He is one of the gayest guys-"
"Tsunade-sama!" A dark-haired woman came running up to the drunken lady and began leading her inside while calling apologies back to Naruto, "I'm so sorry. She wasn't supposed to leave my sight. I hope she didn't cause too much trouble, Naruto-kun."
The blonde just glared at the ground. Kiba had heard what had been said and he sat there in the bushes gaping. Sounds like Sai has been wrong the whole time. But… Naruto, gay? Man, I thought he was like the straightest person at the school. Wait, doesn't he like Sakura-chan? Tch. As good ole' Shikamaru would say, 'so troublesome'.
Sai immediately calmed down after Tsunade mentioned Naruto being gay. In fact, he mentally jumped up and down on the spot out of joy. Sasuke, Neji and Gaara just stood there, mentally gaping at the blonde, but they didn't really show it on the outside. Kiba couldn't stand it anymore. He jumped out of the bushes and dragged the blonde inside.
"Oww, Kibaaaa, let go!" Naruto whined as they reached an empty bedroom. Kiba quickly shut the door behind him and let the blonde go.
"You are gay, aren't you?" The blonde nodded while looking at the ground. Kiba continued, "Kami, I have so many questions Naru-chan!" At this Naruto growled. Kiba just continued, ignoring the growl, "Why did you say you liked Sakura? Who do you like? Why didn't you tell me? Who do you like? Oh, wait, did I ask that already? How long have you been gay?"
Naruto rubbed his temples, "Eetto(4), I said I liked Sakura because I thought I did, but I don't, obviously. I didn't tell you because I thought you'd hate me… or go crazy like you are now. I've been gay… I don't know how long. And why the hell do you want to know who I like?!"
Kiba rubbed the back of his neck, "Heh, uh, I don't know-"
"I haven't seen you with a girl like… ever-"
"Well, you see, I just don't like any of the-"
"And you never even talk about girls-"
"Maybe I just never felt like it-"
"And there was that time when-"
"All right! You caught me! I'm gay! Do you need a full, written out confession or something?!"
Naruto laughed nervously, then smiled, "Heh, don't worry about it Kiba. I just wanted to know. Well, I did already know, but I just wanted to hear it from you."
"Okay then." Kiba nodded, slightly annoyed.
"So… Who do you like?" Naruto asked in a mock-female voice.
"None of your business Naru-chan."
Kiba smirked but then tumbled backwards as the blonde pounced on him. They began rolling all over the floor, struggling to pin the other. The two continued rolling around, laughing, and eventually Naruto pinned the brunette beneath him, smirking at his triumph.
"Mwahaha, I got you Kiba. I told you not to call me 'Naru-chan'"
The brunette smirked from underneath Naruto, "Why Naru-chan, I knew you were gay but isn't this a bit fast?"
The blonde blushed, realising his position above the brunette. He gave the dog-boy a hard punch in the shoulder before jumping off him, laughing.
"Ouch-"
Jiraiya walked into the bedroom, taking in the curious sight before him, "Oi, brats, get out of my room!"
"Dobe(5), where have you been?"
The blonde and the dog-boy had just emerged from the crowd of people and were now standing directly in front of a certain Uchiha.
"Why do you care all of a sudden, teme?" Naruto perked his eyebrow up at the raven.
"Because we all just got this 'confession' from your aunt about you being gay-"
"And that you have a huge-"
Naruto slammed his hand over Sai's mouth. Everyone seemed surprised by the blonde's sudden reaction.
Well that was certainly different, thought the elder Uchiha who was watching the group from a table near the house. Usually Naru-chan is very slow with his reflexes. Whatever is going on must be good. I'd better go find out.
As Itachi got closer he could hear the blonde's voice. His voice was deep and he was speaking in a quite serious tone. Also very different. What has my otouto(6) done now?
"Stop asking questions! Urgh, I'm not going to answer you here," Naruto thought for a minute before turning around and walking towards the house, signalling for them to follow. They did. And so did Itachi.
This is getting very interesting.
(1) Teme - Bastard
(2) Kami - God
(3) Tsunade-Baa-Chan - Practically he is calling her 'Granny Tsunade'
(4) Eetto - It's just something you say when you don't know what to say, like 'um'
(5) Dobe - It means 'dead last' but no one says that, so it is practically 'loser'
(6) Otouto(also spelt 'ototo') - Younger brother
Okay, I apologise for the shortness (I didn't want to keep you guys waiting) and if there are any mistakes I apologise for them too, but seriously, this fic is slightly hard to write. Please read and review!
