CHAPTER FOUR - NOT LETTING YOU GO
And no matter how hard you try, you never find the one you want.
Something to Believe In, by Aqualung

-

Alright, I'll admit it. I screwed up.
Bigtime.

So as I ran with all the strength I had left back toward Bella's house, and away from the reason for all this.
I remembered the first time I saw her, down at La Push. The shy girl whose seat I took so I could talk to Bella- not her.

She was so small and insignificant then. But of course, that was when I scoffed at my werewolf roots. I was young and stupid. And incapable of logical thought.
I knew that Bella was the one, but not the one. Not according to my pack, anyway.
What was the deal with this whole 'imprinting' package, anyway? Just someone who comes along and says 'Hi, I'm going to dominate your life. Now enjoy me.'
I growled, and a couple of sympathising thoughts were sent my way from Quil and Embry. I ignored them, and continued forward, determined to see Bella's face before my so-called love's took her place. And I didn't even know her name!

I simply would not allow it.

As I neared my real love's house, I changed back to my human form. There was lots of thoughts I needed to think about that I didn't want my family to hear.
Okay, first things first.
I proceeded to punch a tree with all of my force, not caring to look at the damage I had caused to the trunk. I was horrible.
I was so into Bella that I convinced a young boy who was to join our pack to turn off the girl's machines. I didn't want a soul mate, when I had left my soul somewhere far away, when I had run away after that Cullen boy invited me to their marriage.

I was so willing to end someone's life only to wallow in my own misery. What was happening to me? If I had not imprinted on Bella, then I would only do her wrong.
So why couldn't I let her go? Okay, wrong question.
Why wouldn't I accept it? No one in their right mind would let go of something as precious as Bella.

But back to the biggest picture. I had wanted to kill someone innocent, so I wouldn't love them. And now the poor girl was a leech! Could I possibly love her, and be disgusted by every vampire bit of her at the same time? There was no way one man could hold that all in.

But killing her?

I tried to calm myself that she really wasn't dead. But having her dead would have been easier for the both of us in the longrun. These thoughts kept running through my head as I walked toward Bella's house.
Then it hit me.

The too-sweet smell of vampire.
And the vampire I least wanted to see now, on multiple reasons.
First and foremost, he was engaged to my Bella.
And second- he probably just heard my whole guilty conscience as if I was turning myself in to him to be arrested.

I froze, my eyes widening as the pale shape turned his head to me, his eyes narrowed, but his featuresin a calm enough place.
"Edward." I addressed him coldly, as I wanted to howl in frustration at my stupidity.
"Jacob..." There was a very stressed sound to his voice, along with the hint of frantic desperation.
I snarled. "What?"
"You?" He asked, and my gut plummeted straight to my ankles. "You damned her to my life."
I looked at my feet, refusing to speak. Then a thought hit me.
"Why are you out here, leech? Shouldn't you be in her room, stinking up her smell?" I asked coldly, still annoyed at myself for not being so careful.

Edward growled. "Your fault again. I said she shouldn't be in the near vicinity of a newborn vampire, friends or not. And she got angry." He said, casting a longing glance at her window. I followed his gaze, and saw the note on the window.
So her name's Angela. I thought to myself, cursing as Edward let out a quiet laugh that lacked humor.
"Yes. So she's your soul mate, huh? I'd like to see how that works out."

I growled in outrage. "You stay out of my head, bloodsucker!"
Edward held his hands up, palms facing me as if he was directing traffic. "Slow down there, pup. Easier said than done."
"Alright, then keeping myself out of that house is easier said than done, also." I countered.
He growled once more. "You wouldn't dare."

I sniffed at the air, and I restrained myself from laughing. "Well, I'd show you my daring, but it seems hardly worth it when Bella's not in the house."
His head whipped around as he cursed loudly. "This isn't the last of this, dog." He told me, before running off in the direction of his house.

I allowed myself a minute, then let out a good laugh as I phased and started home.

AN- I know, I know. It's a short chapter, but I had to explain this whole 'There was a Quileute in my room' stuff with Angela. Review me, please!