Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.


In the end, everyone signed the contract. We didn't have much of a choice and Sasuke knew it. He wore that little triumphant sneer the whole time we scribbled our souls away. This guy was supposed to help us? Yeah right. We walked away dreading tomorrow. It was Saturday.

From the sounds of our alarm clocks we probably could have woken the dead. If the beeping didn't do the job our appearances would have. Tsunade hadn't bothered putting a bathrobe over her thin pajamas. Anko didn't wear pants under her tank top. Sai? Well, he always looked the same; gray t-shirt and black jeans. The kid was totally an alien. Jiraiya? He didn't even show.

Having to wake up at 6 was almost worth the look we got from Sasuke as we sauntered into the kitchen. His eyebrows twitched as he took in the girl's clothes and his face flushed a pretty red. I exchanged a glance with Sai. Yes, he was enjoying tormenting our new slave driver. Perhaps some appropriate taunts could be arranged.

The Aoiji kitchen was a sad piece of work. The counters were a shade of ugly yellow tile set crooked atop the now molding counters. The sink didn't drain right and the stove didn't work. As for the fridge? What fridge? Needless to say no one used the place anymore.

Somehow despite this, a breakfast of fresh onigiri and grilled salmon was set atop the table. He had managed to find some odds and end plates that were placed around the sorry slab of wood. It looked delicious and smelled even better.

As soon as we saw the food it became a scramble to get to it first. Somehow in the mess my elbow managed to find Anko's jaw. She howled and kicked me squarely in the stomach, sending me skidding across the laminate floor. With a thud and flash of pain I felt my head hit the underside of the exposed sink.

It was at that moment we all heard the clear sound of the doorbell ringing. Everyone froze. Anko, her mouth stuffed full of salmon exchanged a silent stare with Sai. We all knew what this meant.

To normal people the sound of a doorbell would translate into 'Oh someone is here'. To the pathetic inhabitants of Aoiji house that noise means something like 'Shit, a bill collector. Run! Hide! Chuck a toaster at him!' When I say chuck a toaster I mean literally chuck a toaster.

The last time a bill collector stopped by Anko threw our toaster at the poor guy. I feel bad for him and all but it was really funny to see. I mean really, really funny. The kid ran away clutching his head with both of his hands while shouting threats at us, who in turn, aimed a slew of metal chopsticks at him. It turns out Sai is deadly accurate with those things.

Food would have to wait; It was time to prepare for battle. What did I have to throw at our unwelcome visitor? Some heavy text books I didn't need any more perhaps. Oh, how about that ugly cat statue Tsunade got me during one of her drunken shopping days.

My fellow warriors shared my sentiments. With a shout of hurrah we grabbed what food we could carry and scattered. As I gathered the previously mentioned weapons I heard Anko let out a battle cry. She really got into this whole 'Kill the bill collector' thing. I on the other hand was more a gleeful spectator than a willing gladiator. That would be why I planned on giving Anko my stack of ammunition. She had mentioned last battle that a bowling ball would be fun to throw; I really wanted to see her do it. Besides, if she really killed the guy it would her drunken butt that went to jail, not mine.

We were all poised on the five foot balcony of Tsunade's overlooking the front door when the first textbook missile was let loose. For some reason the fellow with black hair and suit looked familiar. As I watched him deftly dodge the book I felt myself begin to remember. Two textbooks later I was able to clearly recall where I had seen him. Sasuke's brother. Our dear landlord was either going to be very angry or very happy. I decided it would be in my best interest if I was not around to find out which.

As silently as I could, I pushed the screen door open and slipped back into the room. As I turned to begin my daring escape I found myself staring ahead, frozen in place. Standing in the doorway was our darling Sasuke. He stood there, arms folded across a red t-shirt clad chest looking remarkably unreadable.

"Did they hit him?" he asked.

I shook my head, too afraid to speak. He had knives in his hands.

With a sigh he pushed past me and out onto the balcony. What was he going to do? Curiosity outweighed my fear. Twirling around, I hurried after him. With little effort he pushed Anko out of the way, allowing him a front and center view of the door below.

Our visitor had just enough to time to register it was his little brother standing a story above him before the knives began to fall. One after another Sasuke threw the kitchen knives I could only assume had made our delectable breakfast, at his brother.

Sai and I both watched with rabid fascination as each narrowly missed their target. Itachi must have been used to something like this; the guy could move! He dodged each one without them once connecting. I doubted any of us could have done it, Sasuke was scary accurate with those knives. I had been right to fear him.

Sadly, our dear landlord had run out of knives. With a deep frown he swiftly turned to look at me. "What else do you have?" he demanded.

Meekly and soundlessly we handed over our meager ammunition. After watching that I doubted any of us would have thought to disobey him. And why should we? This was widely amusing.

He glanced at the metal chopsticks in Sai's hand, the large cat statue in mine and Ancho's bowling bowl. (I knew she was going to do it!) Finally deciding on the bowling bowl he took it from Anko and held it above Itachi's head. The man below was taking deep breaths but he looked determined. I doubted he was going to leave anytime soon.

"Itachi this is your final warning. Leave!" Sasuke shouted.

"Sasuke I just came to talk! Let me help you."

"Wrong answer!" I shouted gleefully.

Sasuke looked over at me and smiled. I hadn't known him long but had already given up hope the guy could do something like smile. I almost wish he couldn't. The sight of his smile sent my insides in all sorts of knots and flutters. Really, the boy was far too good-looking for his own good.

"Ready?" he asked.

Anko, Sai and I all lined up beside him, our bodies pressing up against the balcony.

"Fire!" we shouted.

With a war cry Nobunaga would have been proud of we all let our weapons loose. In a splendid show of grace, talent and plain old luck Itachi swirled and jumped out of the way, effectively missing all of our projectiles.

We may not have hit him but he certainly looked tired. He was panting and attempting to push the many stray strands of his hair away from his face. "Sasuke you are acting like a child. It appears I cannot reason with you so I will leave as you so dangerously insist. If you wish to fail then so be it. I will wait for your apology at our home."

His speech complete, Sasuke's stubborn older brother turned and walked back down the gravel. I watched with a sense of satisfaction as he climbed into his shiny black Cadillac and drove off. We had won.

Anko and Sai let out cheers, complete with a high five. I found myself laughing. When was the last time we had had so much fun? Even Sasuke seemed to be chuckling. I loved watching him laugh. I'd only seen him mad and hurt so far; happy was definitely the best version of Sasuke. I just needed to figure out how to get it to stick around more.

"Well that was fun. Is there any breakfast left?" I chirped happily.


As it turned out, there wasn't any left. Sometime during our battle Jiraiya had woken up and wandered into the kitchen where he happily consumed the remainder of our salmon and rice balls.

We moaned and complained but Sasuke refused to make more. Jiraiya didn't even seem remorseful about eating our food. The old jerk. After securing a promise to return to the kitchen in two hours Sasuke let the occupants of his prison return to their cells. I elected to ignore the release and remain in the kitchen.

Legs crossed comfortably underneath me I sat against the only stable counter and observed Sasuke. He was pretending to be busy; moving papers or plates around but every few minutes he would stop, pull out his phone and check it. If he was expecting a text or call from his brother I doubted he would get one. Most people didn't call back after you attempted to kill them.

What was with his reaction anyway? I could tell from the scene in the kitchen last night that they were close. Complicated but close. So why the knives? Did our adrenaline rub off on him? Nah, it couldn't be just that. He seemed unusually bent on making sure his brother stayed away. Sibling rivalry? That wasn't right; Itachi seemed too protective to feel competitive. One-sided then. Regardless they were clearly very dependent on each other.

Well, climbing up into a standing position again I stretched my arms above my head, they were Uchiha's after all; brilliant, godly-attractive but deranged. It seemed to run in their blood. If they threw knives at each other to vent stress then more power to them.

During my little psyche-investigation Sasuke had finished his kitchen clean-up and disappeared. Poking my head out the door and into the corridor I found his cute little butt sticking out of the storeroom.

A cheeky grin spread across my face as a rather mischievous idea came to me. Careful and quiet I did my best to sneak up behind Sasuke. Once I was properly positioned behind him I let out a loud whistle.

With a few curse words Sasuke shot up, his body swiftly turning around. Those perfect lips of his had already settled into a scowl when he realized that his action had brought our faces mere inches away.

I knew he felt it; the attraction. It wasn't all consuming but it was there, hovering between us. He would have punched me or kicked me if he didn't feel something of what I did. It didn't take long to recognize lust. Love, now that could take some time. I was content with lust. The emotion was far easier to control than its misguided cousin.

"You are too close," Sasuke said tersely, still not moving.

"Give me a reason to move," I teased, content to watch the man glare at me. He wasn't going to, I could see it in his eyes. Perhaps our initial meeting had roused more interest in me than he would like. I may be on the early side of thirty but I kept myself fit. Dodging Anko and Tsunade could do that to a man.

"If you are going to have sex let me watch. Or better yet, I would love to join in."

"Yuck Sai, that would be gross. No one wants to see you naked."

"Why did you guys talk?! Now they won't let us watch."

"Who said we wanted to?!"

We heard a thump followed by the large clambering noise of four bodies falling to the ground. In unison Sasuke and I turned around to see the remaining occupants of the building in a large pile outside the door. Tsunade was busy pulling on Jiraiya's hair when I cleared my throat. To their credit they looked awfully guilty.

It wasn't enough to save them. A beautiful trademark Uchiha glare in place Sasuke took two steps toward them. He didn't get to a third before they were all up and running, screaming like little girls. He swung his head around, pinning me in place with his glare. He had probably been worried I would run. Oh he of little faith; I wouldn't walk away from my entertainment.

"You are all perverts," he stated, disgust thick.

I shrugged, my usual smile in place. "Welcome to Aoiji House."

Sasuke didn't bother with a response, choosing to chase after the escaping victims. Despite their head start Sasuke was quick on their heels. He managed to make it the end of the staircase before Sai finished climbing the stairs.

"Stop right there! If you are that eager be around me, then we might as start working now." He had to shout to get his voice up the staircase. I was distinctively reminded of a mother hen. He kinda looked like one with that hairstyle of his. I could envision a little kerchief tied around it, frilly apron securely tied around his waist. Yep, that fit.

A collective groan was heard from various points along the stairs. No one dared disobey him though. One sulking form after another my dear voyeuristic friends filed into the kitchen. By the time all four had arrived Sasuke had walked into the kitchen where he know stood in the middle of the health-hazard, arms folded and feet firmly placed apart.

"We will be doing the groundwork for the kitchen today. You will each need a pair of gloves."

In unison our eyes traveled to the pile of shiny tan work gloves on the floor. They even had the price-tags still on them. How long had they been there?

"Why are we doing this again?" Tsunade grumbled, her hands inching toward the gloves. With a grimace she picked one up and slide it on.

"It is a Saturday and thus, slave labor day." Sai supplied, somehow magically having a pair of gloves already on his hands.

With a deep sigh of my own I picked up a pair. "Might as well get this over with."

Giving each other a comforting nod of encouragement we meandered out of the kitchen and into the hallway. From our place there we could see the storage room next door open, Sasuke's spikey hair sticking out just enough for us to see him. He must have walked past us while we were busy getting the gloves.

"Do you think he styles it that way?" Sai asked curiously. We hadn't moved. Probably wouldn't until he made us. Yes we were stubborn two-year olds like that.

Anko snorted her disinterest. "I think the real question is whether he realizes it looks like a porcupine."

"Porcupine. That's a good name." Jiraiya supplied happily. "We should call him that."

I gave him a concerned look. "Go right ahead and try. You guys weren't sober enough to remember what he did last time he lost it. I, unfortunately was. I am not even going to try."

They didn't believe me, the poor fools.

"Don't just stand there, come in so we can get started. The sooner we start the sooner we are done."

We all shuffled into the storage room, squishing up against each other. The room was not very large and currently full of cardboard boxes. Some company logo was plastered on the side but I couldn't tell which. Funny, I hadn't noticed them a few minutes ago.

The Uchiha himself was standing beside several open boxes. Sai being the bravest of us all, peered inside the cardboard surprise closest to him. Judging by his lack of report he was clearly confused.

"Those are tools Sai," Sasuke stated tersely. "They aren't going to bite. Just grab one."

Sai didn't look convinced but he did as instructed. From the look Sasuke was giving the rest of us he clearly expected us to do the same. Fingers gingerly reaching into the box we each pulled out one of the foreign objects. I at least, recognized the wooden tool in my hand. I knew what a hammer was. I couldn't say the same for the rest of them.

With our trusty tools in hand Sasuke set us to our appointed tasks. Out of the four of us I was pretty sure I got the best job. Jiraiya and Anko had to work on peeling off the tiled flooring, Sai doing the same for the counters. Tsunade had been left with removing the broken appliances. Me? I got to stand and work with Sasuke as we began dismantling the cabinets.

I was taller than he was. It made the perfect excuse as to why I had to stand behind him sometimes, holding the cabinet in place as he unscrewed it. Oh how I enjoyed the feeling of his body in front of me. My eyes were supposed to be watching the cupboards, safety and all that jazz. Instead I let it linger on his shoulders as he stretched and tensed, moving lazily down his back to his toned butt. This was the third cabinet to go down and I got to stand like this each time.

Was it bodily safe to staring lewdly at my landlord? No. Was it polite? No. Was it sinfully fun? Absolutely. Like I said, eye candy was eye candy.

Swearing colorfully Sasuke let the screwdriver in his hand fall to the counter-top. Turning in between my arms he managed to glare up at me. It was a pleasant sight. His face beginning to show just a hint of perspiration, his eyes smoldering with emotion; face flushed with the heat of an excellent summer day.

"Mr. Hatake let me make something perfectly clear. I am not and will not ever be interested in touching your penis. Now that is clear, as hard as that may be please try to pay attention."

Behind me I heard Jiraiya snickering. Yeah, yeah, laugh at poor Kakashi. In the pleasure of watching him work I had forgotten how sharp his tongue was. Well two could play the game.

"Oh don't worry about little old me. I just enjoy watching, no touching required."

He groaned out something before turning back around, resuming his onslaught on the cabinet. He wasn't going to roll over and let me oogle it seemed. In more than one occasion I found an elbow jabbing me in the stomach or his boot stomping on my much less protected sandal clad feet.

I didn't mind though. It just meant he cared.

As the cabinet clambered to the ground in a loud crash I let out a sigh of disappoint. What was that game kids played these days? Seven minutes in heaven? Well, that was as close to heaven my seven minutes were going to get.

I watched Sasuke's face fight a look of triumphant. It was an impressive thing. His lips appeared to be winning; I could see full blown smirk forming. Even his eyes seemed to be dancing with excitement. His happiness didn't last long.

His job done he turned around to watch the others. Anko and Jiraiya had started a game of chicken, stabbing the pointed scrapping tool down towards each other's hands. Judging by the bleeding scratches along either side of Anko's hands I would bet she was winning.

I followed his eyes to Tsunade next.

The old woman had moved the appliances; that was for sure. Moved them right into the doorway. She was sitting atop the now horizontal fridge, a bottle of what looked to be half-empty sake in hand. Sai sat next to her, his own gloves and tool in a neat pile atop the untouched counters.

I pitied them, I really did. As I said earlier; I knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of an Uchiha's fury. It was not pleasant.

I might have pitied them but I certainly wasn't going to let such a flexible emotion keep me from an entertaining after-work show. Lightly jumping atop the counter I got myself properly comfortable.

Sasuke did not disappoint me. In two strides he made it to Jiraiya. His shadow cast over the both of them they looked up, their expression better suited for a two-year old caught with their hand in the cookie jar than the adults they were supposed to be.

"Hey Sasuke want to play?" Anko asked hopefully.

"Do I want to play?" He repeated, his voice far too sweet to belong to someone with an evil sneer. He had one on too, it was great. He crouched beside both of them. I couldn't tell if their wide eyes and open mouths were from shock or fear. I hoped it was fear, Sasuke had taken the tool, holding it pointy side down. I would be scared.

With far more force and speed than necessary he brought it down next to Jiraiya's hand. He must not have gotten Jiraiya because the old man was not screaming. He was however, very pale, the red tattoos on his face standing out like beacons.

Eyes narrowed and voice that beautiful I-will-kill-you tone he had down so well, Sasuke addressed them both. "You do realize you signed your souls away to me right? Do you want to know hat happens when I run out of patience?"

They exchanged a fearful glance before meekly slipping their discarded gloves back on. Apparently they did not want to find out. I did. I had a feeling it would widely entertaining.

Satisfied he had properly motivated them Sasuke stood, his angry gaze falling to the two remaining bums. To his surprise however they were no longer sitting and drinking.

Tsunade had hoped off the fridge and began pushing it further down the hall toward the front door. Sai was at the counters, gloves on and working wordlessly.

"See? We can work," I announced happily.

Sasuke said nothing, clearly not impressed. He should be; we didn't like working. With a jump I was on the floor again. "We taking these old cabinets out?" I asked with a gesture the wooden pile behind me.

Sasuke nodded and we began the work of carrying them out to the backyard.

As I set down one of the last cabinets I voiced the concern that had begun to grow. "So what do you have planned for this place anyway? We aren't putting all this work into to be kicked out at in the end are we?"

My question was rewarded by a disgusted glare. "Of course not." He let the cabinet he had been carrying collide with the others as he threw it.

Another cabinet joined the growing pile. "So why?"

We were walking back to the kitchen, Sasuke enough ahead I almost missed the rosy pink color his cheeks turned as he answered. He had the beginning of a pout on, lips turned down in the corners and his eyes downcast. "It was a bet."

I almost dropped the few drawers I had just picked up. "A what?" He couldn't be serious. He bought this place on a bet?

"A bet." He repeated, back straightening. "I design homes. Or I will once I finish this place. I am going to get Aoiji House renovated and put it in my portfolio. Itachi's friend said I wasn't good enough to do it. I am going to prove him wrong."

What kind of job required him to renovate a whole boarding house as proof? Better said, what circle did he run in to have that kind of money to throw around? Aoiji House might be a bio-hazard but it was still a sizable plot of land.

I mulled it over some as we worked on taking out the table and chairs. I knew the Uchiha family were well off but something didn't seem right. To just go throw money of this size around meant more than just a lawyers' salary. This was bigger, grander than just making a table or putting up some curtains. There was more to the story Sasuke wasn't telling. If hadn't told us yet I doubted you would. If I wanted to know I was going to have to ferret it out of him.

By the time we had finished removing the furniture Sai and Tsunade had finished their jobs. They came out in time to watch Sasuke light the whole pile of wood on fire. It was official; the renovation had started. The kitchen was now empty save the tiled floor and a couple counters. It was nearing one by now and despite our valiant efforts to be useless, Sasuke's little crew of slave laborers had managed to get the kitchen gutted and cleaned up.

One would normally wait until the evening for a bonfire but I figured he didn't want us sticking around. Lighting wood on fire was fun but not when it was early afternoon in May. The others wandered back to the house after reporting on their work. Pretty soon it was just Sasuke and I. He sat on a rock, aggressively poking at the fire.

I watched him for a time, enjoying the way the fire's light bounced across his face. His eyes were a blank, black stare. I knew that look. The kid seemed a little young to look that sad. Or angry. He seemed to constantly shift between the two.

Without asking I sat down next to him, grabbing a long stick for myself.

"So how old are you anyway?"

He look up at me, eyes concentrating on the burning mess. "Why does it matter?"

"It doesn't but it beats chatting about the weather."

He finally turned to give me his attention. His eyebrows knit together as he voiced his confusion. "Why do you keep talking to me anyway?"

I looked him in the eye. "Because you are fun to look at."

My answer almost made him laugh, I saw the tale-tell twitching of his lips. Almost but not quite. Fighting his smile he shrugged, resuming his poking at the fire. "That is a new one."

"Haven't gotten called fun before?" I lifted my stick to poke him in the side, earning me a squawk from the boy.

He grabbed my stick by the mid-section, yanking it away from me with a vehemence glare. I watched sadly as he broke it in two before tossing it atop the burning pile. He continued to stare hatefully at the fire as he answered my question. Apparently I had scared him away from looking at me.

"Oh I have gotten all kinds of adjectives directed at me. Sexy, striking, gorgeous, beautiful—I've even gotten pretty." He wrinkled his nose at the word. "Who calls a dude pretty?"

I shrugged. "I would. You are pretty."

He gave me a tired look. "I am not pretty. Itachi is pretty. I'm-"

"Cute?" I supplied.

He gave me another glare. Really did he have another facial expression? I was beginning to believe it was the default. "Attractive. I was going to say attractive. People either want to get in my pants or kick me in the face. So yes, fun is new."

I could see that. Sasuke did tend to run on anger. There would be a story of course—there always was—but I was content not knowing. I didn't except this, whatever it was, to really go anywhere. It wasn't that he was my landlord or a good ten years younger than myself. No, Sasuke was simply out of my league. That didn't stop me from staring though.

"Are you going to keep looking at me like I am an exotic fruit the whole time I am here?" he demanded, exasperation and perhaps curiosity mingled in his tone. It was hard to tell, his voice usually just sounded angry. But I have said that already haven't I?

I gave him a big happy smile. "Of course. Staring is half the fun. No need to call that over-protective brother of yours though—I promise I won't touch. What's up with him anyway?"

Sasuke gave me a side-glance before resuming his staring at the fire. "I wouldn't need Itachi help even if you tried. I can handle myself." With a rather forceful shove he sent his poking stick straight into the fire. "Itachi is Itachi; enough said." He stood up quickly, sweat already adding a glisten to his face. He looked down at me, his eyes brimming with what I was beginning to recognize as pain.

It took me a bit but the benefit of being a lecherous old pervert was no one questioned your staring; they just assumed you were checking them out. Sometimes I did, sometimes I didn't. You could learn a lot staring at people and I had spent the better part of the day staring at my dear landlord. This kid was in pain. Constantly. I doubted he even recognized it himself.

More than wanting to hear the ins-and-out of his brother complex—though that was probably connected to whole living-in-pain thing, I wanted to help teach him that life was meant to laugh and have fun. I wanted to help him. It was the least I could do after what Obito went through to help me. It was fitting in a way; they were both Uchiha's.

As I watched him pick up a couple of rocks and throw them at a wall, shattering the stray bottles sitting atop it, I thought that perhaps I was getting in over my head. Something told me that Uchiha's didn't like getting reformed.


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