Disclaimer: LO:CI characters not mine - unfortunately – nor are any characters you may recognise.
Summary: What if Bobby left Narcotics just before Alex's husband was killed and had worked with him there? Would Bobby remember Alex being at the surprise party his squad-mates threw to celebrate his transfer to MCS?
A/N: This idea just wouldn't give up so I figured I'd take a chance and try and write something around it.
Alex's POV
I wonder to myself sometimes, when we're talking late at night, do you remember? After almost three years as partners I could start a thousand sentences with those words but most often lately I find myself wondering if you remember the first time we were in a room together.
I don't mean the day Jimmy Deakins introduced us in his office at Major Case.
You would later admit to me that the Captain had warned you this was your last chance, if you didn't hold onto your new partner for at least six months you were going to be 'flying solo' the rest of your time at MCS. You'd been there a little over a year and had managed to run off five partners in that time. There were only three First Grade Detectives available for transfer that Deakins thought stood even an outside chance of making a lasting partnership with you. Apparently the others on the transfer list were, in Deakins' opinion, too conventional or maybe just not bright enough to deal with you.
Out of those three Deakins hired me; I was the only one who was willing to even try and work with you, considering some of the rumours circulating about you. I guess Deakins was right when he offered me the transfer, we've lasted this long, despite the fact he had to talk me into giving you another chance after our first case when I'd handed him a letter requesting a transfer. I've never told you about that letter, I rarely even think about it, after all I asked Deakins to destroy it before he ever had chance to send it to the Chief of Detectives' office.
No, I mean before all that. Do you remember one night a little over a year before that day? Okay, I know you remember that night, your buddies in Narcotics had decided to throw a party to celebrate you getting a transfer to the elite Major Case Squad. What I really wonder is do you remember me being there, do you remember noticing me at all? I know I noticed you that night in ways I'd no business doing, given my status as a married woman, and that it had scared the shit out of me.
I remember that night very well. It was the last time I went out for an evening with my husband, Joe. A couple of weeks after that he was dead, shot on duty when a drug deal went bad. He was in Narcotics at the time, same as you had been. It's funny really when I think about it. You and Joe worked in the same unit for a couple of years but I never laid eyes you until you were transferring out.
You were actually quite popular in the squad; great arrest record, conviction every time, fantastic at playing a role and you never 'dipped into the evidence'. Okay you were considered a little strange; your interrogation technique was unusual to say the least. It didn't matter if you didn't hold on to a long-term partner; in Narcotics it tended to be teamwork same as in Vice, either three or four of you working together or a constant swap around as different temporary partnerships picked up cases depending on who was available at the time.
According to Joe, you didn't tend to socialise much beyond a beer or two after shift or maybe a celebratory meal with your team members after an operation had finished and another bad guy was safely behind bars. You always refused invites to holiday get togethers or birthday celebrations. You never gave any explanation; you were just 'busy' whenever such invitations were extended. Of course, I know now why you were always busy and it certainly isn't what the rest of the Narcotics Squad supposed it was, well not all the time anyway.
Your colleagues in Narcotics knew if they told you about the party you'd never show up and you can't very well have a 'Farewell Bash' without the person who's leaving. So at the end of your last shift a couple of the guys simply hijacked you and dragged you into the bar. I heard from the guys involved that you didn't fight too hard, I guess you felt like having a beer or two.
I was in the back room with a couple of other wives when you arrived, me laying out food of all things, so domesticated. We heard your arrival, every single squad member who wasn't on duty was already in the bar and several of them had been there for a while and had started celebrating on your behalf. There were plenty of greetings shouted to you and there was certainly no mistaking Joe's voice cutting through the noise; "For God's sake, someone get the guy a drink!"
I can still see the sympathetic looks on those girls' faces. Joe was well known for 'cutting loose' on any available occasion and they knew by the end of the night I'd be literally pouring my husband into a cab to get him home. By the time we'd finished setting up the buffet in the back, the party in the main bar was in full swing and several other wives had arrived and were joining in the fun out front, having conveniently missed out on doing any of the work. We came through into the main bar and the other girls joined their husbands who had drinks waiting for them.
I scanned the bar, looking for Joe. He wasn't hard to find, standing at the bar enthralling some 'cop groupies' with tales of his exploits with the NYPD. He never could resist the urge to flirt, nothing ever came of it, but there were times when his eye for the girls wore a little thin with me, even though I believed he'd never cheat. I left him to his fun that night, thinking of the news I had to find a way to tell him. I never quite found the right moment for the next two weeks, we were both busy at work and our shift patterns meant we didn't see each over much during that time.
That's probably my only real regret about my marriage, that my husband died not knowing I was pregnant. I lost the baby.
Four weeks after the funeral I woke up to find myself bleeding. Not a good thing when your ten weeks pregnant. The doctor put the miscarriage down to the stress of losing my husband. I'd asked him if he was sure this wasn't anything to do with the abortion I'd had several years before. He'd reassured me that I shouldn't have any problems in future if I wanted to try again at some point (who he thought I'd be trying with God only knows under the circumstances). Given the easy time I had carrying Nathan I guess the doctor was right though.
That's something else you don't know about me, I've been pregnant three times rather than once; I've had a termination and a miscarriage. Although you may have guessed from my reaction to that one case about a year ago that abortion is not exactly an impersonal issue for me; but I'm getting off track here. Back to the party.
I grabbed myself a soda from the bar and found a quiet corner to watch the proceedings. Joe, as I said, was flirting with a small group of women, at least two of whom were vying for his attention, maybe hoping for some action. I smiled to myself, certain they were wasting their time and knowing Joe would be enjoying every moment of the female attention.
I looked around the bar. Kevin, who was Joe's 'official' partner, was at the far end of the bar with his wife, both of them nodded and grinned at me, shaking their heads at Joe's antics. I nodded back and continued observing the room, sharing smiles and nods, calling greetings to various squad members and their other halves.
Fin Tutuola came over and sat down, asking how I put up with Joe behaving the way he did. I really like Fin, he's one of life's good guys, like you; it didn't surprise me when I heard six months later that he'd moved to SVU. I remember I told Fin not to worry, Joe wasn't the type to stray and besides I came from a big family of big men who'd soon straighten Joe out if need be. He'd laughed real loud at that, he'd been to barbeques at our house and met my family; the idea of my 5'10" husband going up against my six brothers and my dad, all of them over six feet tall, not to mention my two sisters and my mother; now that struck Fin as really funny and I have to say I thought for a moment he was actually gonna fall off his chair, he was laughing so hard.
His laughter drew several sets of eyes in our direction but only two sets did more than skip over us; Joe's and yours. My husband stared at me, just for a moment; then he nodded slightly and returned to his admirers. That was when I realised someone else was still watching me. I stopped watching Joe's performance and looked around the bar once more, trying to find my watcher. It didn't take long to find the eyes observing me from across the room, even though you weren't being obvious about it. Your head was tilted slightly down and you were talking to a couple of other detectives who were sharing a table with you but your eyes kept returning to me and Fin.
After a while, when I realised you were still looking at me every couple of minutes, I asked Fin who you were. He laughed again and told me you were the guest of honour. The next time I felt your eyes on me I met your gaze and held it. You blushed a little and got that slightly embarrassed look you do so well but you didn't drop your eyes from mine.
That was the moment my heart skipped a beat and, for the first time since I answered 'Yes' to Joe's proposal, I wondered what it would be like to have another man's arms around me, how another man's lips would feel on mine. I didn't know why I suddenly found myself wondering about you in that way, I'd never thought about any man in those terms since Joe and I had become serious. There was just something, I don't know what, but something seemed to draw me to you. That terrified me and I dropped my gaze from yours, forcing my eyes away from you and seeking my husband. I excused myself from Fin and walked over to the bar to reclaim Joe.
Yeah, I noticed you that night but do you remember?
A/N: So - who wants to see Bobby's POV?
