Revolutionizing a Robot
Chapter Six: A Challenger Approaches, Again
Well, I was going to wait longer for this chapter, but I couldn't help it. Since I finished FFTA2 I can't help but spend my time at my "job" (long story, in short, it's four easy hours of nothing, for less than minimum wage. Oh well.) daydreaming about this fic. Insert emo emoticon here.
As a side note, I got fanart! Not by me, actually, but by a reviewer, MissusPatches. I will (probably) link to said arts in my profile eventually, but you can find her deviantart link in her profile. Go view them, damn you.
Side note: This chapter is really short. I apologize, but it ended earlier than I expected it to. Eh.
Anyway, here you go. Chapter six.
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Crack!
"Oh holy fires of hell! You broke my knee!"
"Stop being a baby, you silly robot!"
Fry turned the volume up on the television until the screams from the laboratory upstairs were blocked out. "Ah, much better." He yelled over the sound of Hypnotoad. It was a rerun, but even reruns were better than actually doing work.
"Much," Bender agreed in a shout, pulling out a few beers from his chest cavity and offering one to Fry.
Leela arrived in the room, and immediately covered her ears. "Turn it down!" She shouted at the two of them, fumbling for the remote and finally silencing the show. "You'll go deaf!" She chastised.
"What did you say?" Fry asked, cupping a hand to his ear, earning a laugh from Bender.
With a sigh, Leela shoved Fry aside to sit between human and robot. "We haven't had a delivery in a while. I'm a bit worried. What if we go out of business?"
"You still have your old career chips." Bender offered. He could probably go hide out somewhere and sell bootleg movies or something. He wasn't going back to bending girders for suicide booths. That was… well, it was one of the few things that bothered Bender. Thankfully, no one had ever asked why.
"So what should we do today?" Fry asked, wriggling a finger in his ear to get his hearing back. "Any new movies out?"
"Just Star Wars Eighty One: Attack of the DNA Mutants, and Harry Potter and the Ridiculously Long Quest for the Stone of Eternal Ending, or some crap like that." Bender handed Fry the listings in the paper and kicked his legs up on the coffee table. "Nothing interesting. We could go looting, though there's no imminent world disaster, so that's out…"
"What about a walk through the park?" Leela asked, which only earned her blank stares. "Well, I did hear from Amy that there's this guy who runs through there shirtless every day…"
"But Leela!" Fry immediately protested, latching onto her arm. "What does any other man have that I don't? I could run shirtless through a park and you wouldn't even notice!"
Bender got up and made some lame excuse to leave the room, but neither of them were paying any attention anyway. "Stupid meatbags… stupid emotions…" He muttered angrily. Why did Fry do this to him? It had been a blissful day, when he hadn't said anything involving his undying love for Leela. But why? Why did he love her? What did she have that Bender didn't? Actually, that was fairly obvious, from a technical standpoint.
His wandering ended up outside the Planet Express ship, and Bender sat down at the round table with a sigh. What was he supposed to do now? If Fry still loved Leela as much as he said he did, then there was no hope of Bender persuading him otherwise, was there? And if he couldn't break the chip, he'd be stuck like this forever. It was a cruel catch-22 if he ever saw one. No, it was worse than that, it was a catch-23.
"Bender!" The robot turned to see the Robot Devil saunter in, legs apparently working properly. "The Professor has lost it. Why haven't you euthanized him yet?" He didn't mean the fancy spa treatment either. "Anyway, I seem to be working just fine and—What's wrong with you?"
It was odd that the Robot Devil would be the first to notice that something was wrong, but then again, he was the first one to see Bender like this. Not to mention the fact that they were both robots, and could easily understand one another's emotions (or lack of thereof) easier than any human could. "Nothing." Bender shrugged it off. As if he was spilling his deep dark secrets to the Robot Devil twice? Hah! "Aren't you going back to Robot Hell?"
"Hmm? Oh yes." The Robot Devil nodded, but didn't move from his spot on the floor. As always, only his tail continued moving.
"The door's right there."
"Oh, I know."
Bender crossed his arms and waited silently, initiating staring contest mode with the Robot Devil. Technically, robots had no reason to blink, but it was one of those things that Bender tended to do. Hanging around with organic creatures had caused him to pick up some strange traits. He blinked first, seeing as how the Robot Devil rarely closed his eyes at all, but neither said anything. It was definitely that awkward silence, and Bender figured he'd just wait for the Robot Devil to explain why he was still here.
Many long minutes passed, with Zoidberg entering and devouring several bag lunches in the refrigerator, though the robots couldn't care less. With a "Whoopwhoopwhoop!" Zoidberg scampered out as Hermes chased him off with a broom. The robots remained stationary and silent.
Amy entered not long later, and found her cell phone, immediately calling Kif and having a long (and rather boring) conversation with him, while the robots ignored her as well. After her was Zoidberg again, raiding the refrigerator for a second time, though this time the Professor arrived and shot at him with a stun gun. Once again, they were ignored.
"Bender, did you get deactivated again?" Fry asked, munching on a half-eaten sandwich. He must have arrived at some point as well, and Bender jumped a little at the sudden interruption.
"Hah, I win." The Robot Devil declared happily, straightening back up and folding his arms, striking an oddly sultry pose for a robot. Then again, he was one of the only robots capable of shifting his hips independently of his chest.
Bender ignored him, instead turning his attention to Fry. "Say, skintube, what do you think of having another roommate?"
"What?" Fry asked, and the Robot Devil echoed. The former's expression was of confusion, the latter of devilish (pardon the pun) joy.
"Well," Bender started, a bit awkwardly, "he sort of helped me out of a tough situation in the Jersey sewers, and he might malfunction again…"
"Oh, him!" Fry gestured to the Robot Devil and then nodded. "Sure! I thought you were going to ask Calculon to move in with you again, or something. Or Elzar."
"You still think they'd say no?" Bender asked curiously, and made a mental note to go interrogate—err, question—them again.
The Robot Devil shifted a little, as if to remind them that he was still there. "I'd graciously take your offer. Besides, the trip back to Hell is a bit long, and I'd rather be sure of my legs' stability." It was a very weak excuse, and both robots knew it.
"Sounds good!" Fry didn't, however. He was blissfully unaware, and perhaps that was for the best. "But where's he going to sleep? Is there another room in your closet, Bender?"
"He lives in your closet?" The Robot Devil asked, confused. "Why would anyone want to live in a closet?"
"He's a human. They're weird." Bender offered as an answer, and shrugged. Fry shook his head in response. "Anyway, I guess we'll head there after 'work'." He made quotes in the air with his fingers, mainly because 'work' involved watching television, and ignoring Fry's numerous advances on Leela. Better than Zapp's advances though…
"Hey, you guys, the season finale of All My Circuits is on!" Leela called from the other room, and Bender and Fry raced over to the couch, leaving the Robot Devil alone in the kitchen.
"At last, my ridiculously circuitous plan is one-quarter complete!" He declared, then shook his head. "Shame it's not really that way. I'd give anything for a ridiculous plan right now. Emotions… what a drag."
