Looking around I see that I've stopped out of the town three miles away from where Jessica's dead body was now some where else in the city. Looking around in the small town I see that I'm at my favorite spot of the town, the camping ground. In the middle of December most campers were dumb enough to go camping because of the cold. I felt the wind blow through the window- winter weather was soon to settle in. Looking at the bloody phone in my hand I decided to her parents on her cell phone that she slipped to me before saying her last words goodbye. I lived in the city but I grew in a small town just like this one nothing change- to think about this was the small town that I grew up in before I got adopted by nest of vampires. Looking around I could smell that rain had been here in even December the rain still poured later on it will turn into snow. I still looked at the phone that I hold in my hand- the phone had belonged to my friend. Taking it I touched the speed dial to see that Eva answer on the third ring.
"Hello is Eva there?"
"Yes you are talking to her; this is Jessica's phone what happened? I'll give you all the money that we have, where is she."
It took me awhile to think about the words to say to her foster parents, I didn't say anything I just heard Eva repeating the same questions over again.
"Jessica died nine hours ago on school grounds, a homeless person high off of drugs had robbed my house took one of our hunting guns then ran for the school. I was there in the class room also with one of gun, then Jessica was in the cross fire she asked me to tell you some words."
"No she couldn't be dead," I heard the phone hit the ground, looking at the phone in front of me I see that I can't do anything keep it or just throw it away in the lake in front of me.
Getting out of the car still noticing have her blood on my t-shirt and on my hands not doing anything; I look up to see the glencing water from the full moon no stars showed in the sky, the rain clouds were rolling in I guess the lake was sad for me also. Looking up I see the moon is covered with the clouds, the lakes appearance is different then before. But it seemed that the powerful god didn't have anything to show. I watch the camp fires that surround me- the camp fires remind me of what Dean would do if he was shot, if were out in the middle of no where- he would laugh then curse up the storm because it that much; the smell of the ember crisped wood smell that was starting to clear my mind- the pain was still in my stomach but I knew that would go away sometime but I didn't know when. The smell of firewood overwhelmed me it reminded me of her- Jessica. This is what Jessica smelt like firewood she had a fire place that she would roast marshmallows in when she was done with any homework to reward herself.
"Jessica why couldn't it been me?" I asked taking off my boots and socks I open the door to see that the mud under my feet is wet from the rain
In town Sam, Bobby, and Dean go asking people that they knew Megan were friends with. Sam looked around the house to see the Impala never return, it was a quarter to eleven nothing from Megan not even I'm here where are you?
"Sammy anything?"
"No she hasn't even called, she hasn't even come back. Dean you could have just left it alone, then she would be here some where we could protect her." snapped Sam looking at his brother wondering what he was going to say back.
"She should have could have dealt with the pain better, she should have shot the demon ask questions later like we taught her."
"I don't give a damn, I'm going to look around the camp grounds to see if she is there okay," said Sam taking off with Bobby's truck.
"Where is he going with my truck?"
"Looking four our sister,"
"Dean what did you do?"
"I just asked her some simple question like a hunter would."
"She just lost her best friend; you ask her stupid questions like that." snapped Bobby looking at Dean.
"Everything is different- she'll be back then I'll say sorry to her okay." said Dean taking a swig of his beer.
"What had happened?" I kept hearing Eva's voice repeat in my head. After hearing Eva's voice in my head- the images of Jessica's motionless body in my arms; that demon was after my blood not hers- it was suppose to be me; DAMN IT!
The bullet that I was shot at me still was in shoulder no matter what I thought about it- the one thing that hurt the most was the pain the pit of my stomach, I felt sick already knowing the sickness wouldn't go way. Looking through the Impala I see that Dean hasn't taken out the first aid kit that we kept just incase somebody got shot in the hunt or hurt worse than just a shot. Looking around for the supplies that I need some where there but others weren't. I needed a lighter, my pocket knife from my boot that I kept hidden from the principal at school. Getting out of the Impala so I don't have to hear Dean about me getting blood all over his car- it was soon to be mine when I would get it would the excellent question. Getting out of the car I could feel the coldness of the earth sink between my toes, I never had time to come to my spot lately between tracking down demons, school, and lying to my friends about why I can't come school- what fun really- not. Placing my strap on my shoulder I feel the pain radiate with heat from where the bullet had entered the wound, it never left I knew that much about bullet wounds. Gritting my teeth I could see that nothing more was coming out of this then blood, my body temperature was probably eight or even more degrees higher then it should be. Hearing my song being played on the radio by Three Days Grace, I love the band because of the music they knew how to make a persons feeling change with the lyrics. The song was "Pain"- I laugh at myself I heard the song in a really long time but right now it was perfect for my day.
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go our you will understand
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Turst Me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you
You know (You know you know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain
I let the words take over me I could understand the emotion put into this song, this song reminded me of why I hide from the world from my pain nothing more; pain to me was loosing somebody close to me- such as my father, Drake, and now Jessica; what now Sam or Dean. On top of that I've lost other people- such as a guy name Ray- he broke my heart never came back for me even if I asked him to come back- he wouldn't.
Other then that hearing the song takes over my body it made me stop thinking about the pain and the fever that was settling in my body. This song reminded me of the pain that Winchesters went through everyday when it came to the simple craft of hunting. Taking the lighter watching the flame flicker I couldn't stop looking into the fire it look so peaceful besides the pain didn't know what pain was unless it was consumed by every little air to breath in. Taking my pocket knife out of it sheath looking at it to see that it still have blood on it from the last time, watching the flame flicker around the blade of the knife, watching the two mate like nothing more then wanting love, desire the flame needed to lick something and the metal needed to feel something more than the coldness of the leather sheath. The blade turned red seeing that it was ready to be put into my shoulder, the pain that I had in my shoulder was now gone the music made me see that everything was going to be okay... I guess. Feeling the heat next to my hot skin was wonderful, digging for the bullet this sharp pain shot through my body, taking a drink of something that Dean had in the Impala, the smell was Whiskey I knew I was under age but other then it made the pain less towards my shoulder, I heard the bone crack in my shoulder- the throbbing of the shoulder didn't stop taking another swig of the Whiskey I think about what Dean would say to me when I got home he would smell the Whiskey on my breath. Right now I don't give a damn what happens to me, taking the knife out of my shoulder, I saw the blood flow down the wound noticing that some of the blood had dried up from today.
It's seems to be forever just when I saw Jessica smiling back at me, we where going to have slumber homework night with each other after school. She was senior, two more years she would have been just like me top of the school.
"Jessica why couldn't you just been quiet the demon wouldn't have found you." I whispered, hearing my phone go off in the car it was playing Bon Jovi "It's my life" Sam was calling to see where I was, why didn't he us his brain? When I didn't want to face the world I came here, to the lake that I learn how to hunt down a demon; when we get back from a hunt I think about those that had died because of the demon; even they had family it still have that cutting pain that every human had; a pain that would go away even if people say that I went away it doesn't trust me I should know.
"Damn it!" I yelled on the top my lungs I look at the lake,. They finally are saying sorry for Jessica's fate very god has something to do today, the assigned the fate to my best friends now they are taking it back that this fate was doomed from the start, getting into the Impala I notice that I'm soaked from their tears this had no meaning to me because I didn't understand they're stupid idea of fate. Feeling the tears come naturally, I did this when Drake had died. He died trying to protect my name just like Jessica was doing, like anybody else that tries to protect the "Winchester" name is killed by a human or a demon. The tears didn't stop even when I wanted then to stop, I was broken inside. The pain dwelled in my chest, I couldn't stop crying I couldn't stop thinking about Jessica's face when she swallowed her last breathe in her body. I was in until they knew what a day I had. Turning the car around to leave the camping ground, my phone goes off I didn't really think about who it was I already knew who it was, Dean. My wonderful jackass of a brother, called making sure I felt okay and saying that he was sorry about what he did in the school parking lot, he said also that he served me racing off to clear my mind.
Listening to the music that Dean had in his car, the time went by faster then I thought it would. I just thought about other things then what had happened just now, I would be walking on thin ice with Dean because of argument in the parking lot. Thin ice that I treed everyday of being a hunter, taking about the same about of time to get out of town as when I drove up to the house, I couldn't see why I was misunderstanding what Dean yelled at me for. Turning off the engine I didn't hear the music anymore. All I heard was my stomach growling at me saying to feed me; instead I forced myself out of the Impala's insides of the car. Taking off my shoes I could see that everything was just going to find. When I saw the house lights turn on I froze at the door. Looking at the door knob and the bracelet that Jessica gave me for one of my birthdays. Before I had the chance to open the door, I faced his face- Dean's face. He had opened the door. From town then return around midnight at least I wasn't drunk- I was hungry or sick of those two. I knew I was tired, crying this much made my body weak inside and out.
"Welcome home stranger," he whispered while I passed him I didn't want to talk. I just wanted to melt into a little hole where nobody would find me not even the weakest demon or my brothers. Sam I could probably deal with if he didn't crack any jokes about stuff he likes then he'll keep his head.
"I'm sorry about what had happened in the parking lot you should by now you are my sister I wasn't concern about Jessica's well being. I couldn't understand why I was so stupid about that." I heard Dean explained behind me.
"Shut up," I snapped back I was a great mood- not.
"Meg I'm
sorry about being snappy in the parking lot I just couldn't stand
loosing you okay."
"You think of everything about me and Sam.
When it comes to other people dad taught you well Dean, he taught you
not to care about other humans besides family." I yelled back at
him.
I noticed it took him awhile to see that I was telling the truth once again, since we now in our home I would fight him no matter what. It didn't matter that I was mad at him.
"Dad didn't just teach me that, that demon was after Sam, you, and I couldn't think of anything else. I didn't matter if Jessica survived or not."
"Why is that Dean?"
"Because I didn't want to lose you, I know that Jessica was your friend but that doesn't really matter, we are hunter when we get to close you know the rest. Dad taught Sam and I same thing I couldn't think of anything else, we lied to the other teachers of what that person was doing in the classroom to save your sorry ass!"
"That still doesn't justify that fact that Jessica is now dead. Do you see my hands, my shirt? Do you see this blood that had taken over my clothing?"
"Yes I see the blood but that doesn't matter. How are you feeling?"
"Fine," I finally snapped see that everything was different, Jessica was gone. My life changed in five seconds, Dean was still convinced that I could have come up with another plan better what I did before.
"You could have come up with another plan."
"Well I didn't," I said leaving the living room; I need a shower before going to bed. Dean grabbed my wrist.
"I wasn't done talking to you, Megan Hope Winchester." I heard my fool name being used Dean was really pissing me off right now.
"What was I suppose to do?"
"Nothing more just let the demon shot you, or something different." Dean had replied to my question I couldn't think of anything else to say to him, the fact that he was trying to be cool right now didn't help.
"Dean look at me," I said my body was shaking I could already smell the sulfur from my tears; he didn't see that I was in pain. I knew when Dad had died Dean went on a rampage killing demons and didn't care until he finally saw that killing demons wasn't going to bring back John Winchester.
"You have to not show your emotion," he whispered letting me go, I didn't say anything after that I couldn't stop thinking about our fight walking toward the bathroom. Shower time finally.
