Despite the fact that they were vampires, the Cullens were going down the yellow brick road at a normal human speed. Well, Alice was, and Edward didn't want to get to the wizard without her, just in case the wizard couldn't get them home, so he was a few steps behind her, ranting to himself, wishing he could see if Bella survived the tornado.

"Munchkins, Alice," Edward said after a while. "Can you seriously tell me we aren't completely insane?"

"Probably." Alice was skipping happily down the road, the glittery shoes - Edward still had no idea how they had gotten on her feet in the first place - hit the yellow bricks and made a slight clip-clopping sound. "We can go home, and the wizard might help us."

"Alice, in the fiction, the wizard was a liar. Dorothy clicks her shoes together, and that's how she and her mutt get home." An idea hit him, and he held on to her wrist. "Alice, click the shoes together and say There's no place like home."

Alice raised an eyebrow and pulled free. "Edward, I refuse to believe that the wizard is a liar until I see him myself. So, I'm dragging you with me."

"Then give me the shoes."

Alice giggled. "You'd look a bit ridiculous in red high heels, wouldn't you?"

A ferocious snarl, low and menacing, came from Edward.

"Man, that was scary!"

The vampires looked around. They could have sworn they heard the voice of…

"Emmett?" Edward asked.

"That's my name! At least, I believe it is."

The voice was close, but neither vampire could see their brother. Merely a land spot filled with corn, a few crows, and a scarecrow.

"Not funny, Emmett," Edward growled. "Why don't you come out where we can see you?"

"You mean you can't see me?"

"Edward!" Alice gasped, pointing at the scarecrow. She didn't need to: Edward had gotten close enough to see that the scarecrow had a face that resembled Emmett's...not to mention that there were huge lumps of straw in place of Emmett's muscles.

"Emmett, what have they done to you?" Edward cried dramatically. Alice had untied Emmett before he could blink, and the scarecrow fell to the ground.

Emmett stood up and leaned on Edward for support: his straw legs weren't used to walking. "Oh, thank you. You see, I've been stuck on that pole for an awfully long time…" A rainbow on Alice's face seemed to catch his eye. "Hey…I didn't know people could sparkle. Well, I don't know anything, really, but I've never seen someone with such sparkly…" he poked her, then pulled his hand back, "or cold skin before."

"Well, 'people' isn't necessarily a word used to describe us," Alice said casually. "Now, if you don't mind, my brother isn't a statue: you can't lean on him forever."

Emmett let go of Edward and attempted to walk away, only to fall on his face.

"What are you, anyway?" Emmett asked once he stood up.

"We're va-" Alice began, but Edward practically teleported to her and covered her mouth.

"Trying to find the Wizard and get home," Edward finished.

"The Wizard?" Emmett asked. "Can I come? I really need a brain."

"Obviously," Edward muttered.

Emmett either ignored him or missed the comment. "Why, if I had a brain, I could actually do my job as a scarecrow." A big crow landed on his straw muscle. "Go on, shoo. Get off. Move, or I'll kill you." The crow just stood there and pulled a piece of straw from Emmett's neck.

"Allow me," Edward offered, then hissed at the crow. It dropped the straw and flew away, the hundred or so other crows following.

"You weren't scared of that?" Alice said.

Emmett laughed. "It was scary enough, but the only thing that can scare me is a fire, and there isn't much of that here."

"Well, why don't you come with us? I'm sure you'll get a brain if we make it to the Emerald City."

Edward pulled Alice away.

"Alice, think of Jasper. He's got to be scared to death for you."

Her eyes shone like she was going to cry, but it wasn't possible. "Yes. I know. But we can't just leave Emmett here, even if he isn't the real Emmett. He'll get eaten by the crows."

Edward sighed. "Fine, but if Jasper believes you're dead, don't blame me if he goes and kills himself."

"Don't say that, Edward," Alice said as they made their way back to Emmett(who, by now, was going through the song "If I Only had a Brain" from the movie). "Jasper is going to go look for me as soon as he can: which may be difficult if he's going to have to appear human, too. Even with Emmett, we still have a chance of being home by then."

"I hope so," said Edward said, going back to thinking - and worrying - about Bella.