I took my seat. I felt their questioning gazes on me. I knew what they were wondering. Who was that? Is she okay? Why did she go around the corner to answer it? Well, let them wonder. It was my business.
"So why did you come here?" I needed tackle this while I was still angry over Mom's call. I had to introduce the subject. "I know you came here for a reason. Why?"
All the merriment vanished. I cursed myself. Why did I have to ask that? It ruined the mood. All the loneliness clawed at my heart, shredding it.
Stupid.
They exchanged glances and nodded. Nozomi began.
"We came—to ask Karen to join us as Pretty Cure!"
The silence blanketed the gazebo after her declaration.
I told myself not to grit my teeth. I told myself not to let her know about my doubts. About my longing to be with them, to believe their fairy tale.
Because if that fairy tale was true, then why couldn't others come true? What was keeping my parents from returning and apologizing and getting normal jobs?
"That story again? Didn't I say I had no interest in it?" I asked, knowing the answer.
She continued, saying yes I had refused, but I must not believe what they were asking. She blathered about how it was all true, how she was the cause of the disturbance at the library.
Then Komachi spoke up about how the weird noises and vibrations from the sewers was her. I couldn't believe this. This—all of this story was wrong! Because in a fairy tale, wouldn't the best friends stay together? No one would separate them! But these upstarts were! They were pretending that they were good, but ripping my world apart around me!
Then Nozomi proposed she prove it. And she brought out this… squirrel. The magical talking squirrel guardian.
I froze as they talked. Talked. This squirrel was talking. Then he came over to me, his creamy tail fluffy, blue eyes (just like mine) sparkling. And he started exercising. I was going crazy. These things—they don't exist. Magic doesn't exist. Fairy tales don't come true! But this thing is real. This squirrel is a talking magical creature.
But I couldn't let on that I'm even considering this. I couldn't. Because it's not rational.
"They're really making stuffed animals well these days, aren't they?" I answered. Liar.
And then wouldn't you know it, the creature had to insist it's not a stuffed animal and proclaimed its name is Coco while jumping.
Rin spoke up then saying I'm right. Thank goodness someone else was rational and lucid in this gazebo besides me. She continued saying it is hard to believe this stuff, even normal to say it's not true.
Then Nozomi went on about this Pinky. Apparently, it will restore the talking magical squirrel guardian's home. Oh, wait. Coco's world. My brain snapped then. I couldn't process this. I couldn't deal with this right now. I have enough to worry about! I have student council to run, my parents to assure I'm okay, my house to run. I don't have time to worry about some fantasy of a world that needs some Pinky thing to restore it for a bunch of talking squirrels.
So then, why is my heart clutching in fear? Why is it whispering that I should, no, have to help? That if I don't, it'll all be my fault. Why do I have this gut feeling they're telling the truth? That if I don't join them, Coco's world will die because of me.
"Pretty Cure? Coco? Pinky?" I whispered slowly, trying to understand all of this, this unshakable premonition. "I don't get it!"
Then the squirrel said there's a Pinky nearby. As if my day could get any weirder than this cream-colored talking squirrel. But it does.
For then Komachi started to help him catch the weird pink fluff of cloud shaped like some mutant bunny. This weird watch bracelet thing she started wearing when she came out of the sewer glowed and spat out a flute. Coco started playing it and Komachi waved her bracelet, explaining it draws the Pinky in. The pink mutant cloud-bunny turned into a golden light then and shot toward the bracelet. But then something rushed by and the Pinky was gone.
Then this weird ugly foreigner looking guy was standing on the gazebo railing holding the Pinky in his fist. Then he started going on about how his underlings couldn't do this, and ordered them to hand over the Dream Collet. When they refused, he threw this mask onto the gazebo's ceiling. And my gazebo came to life!
But this can't be. Fairy tales don't happen! Do they?
What if I'm wrong? What if they do? This is my proof, this living gazebo creature!
Then all the girls transformed using those bracelets. Just like Komachi's. And I… I just stayed the same. Even though my heart was telling me, I should be there by their sides with my magic, ready to lend my aid. But I can't. So I ran and hid as they started fighting my gazebo. And when they defeated it, Creepy Dude appeared and transformed.
I realized I'm the only one who should be doing something but isn't. For the first time, I'm not the one doing everything. I'm the one passing on the labor to someone else.
Creepy Dude attacked them. I'm about to scream, to yell, to tell Komachi and everyone to run, when Komachi did some magic to create a shield. But he just made a stronger assault and the shield disappeared, broken. Komachi's in danger.
And I can't protect her.
My best friend is about to die and I can't do anything to save her. Because now, compared to these super girls, I'm weak. I'm helpless. And nothing I can do can stop me from losing the one thing I hold dearer than life itself. I'm shaking like a leaf as my world continues to fall apart around me. Without Komachi… I don't think I could go on. She's my everything.
I see the butterfly then. It's shining, blue, and glittery. Magical. And coming to me. Coco told me to hold out my hand. But I hardly needed him to tell me that. Because my heart is pounding, each beat telling me to reach out. And I know I can save them if I do. But I can't. I'm still scared. But it's like the butterfly knows that.
But I remember the monster Creepy Dude is. He scares me. Scares me to the core. I can't fight him. I can't stand up to my parents, let alone him!
"I can't do something like this!" I exploded. I'm scared! Komachi, I'm scared! Everyone, I'm scared! Somebody, help me! Anybody! I can't do this! I'm not ready for this! Komachi, I can't do this! I can't save you! I can't even save myself! How can I save you? You were always the one saving me!
God, somebody save her! Why didn't her teammates do something?
It hit me then.
Because they couldn't. They couldn't help themselves. This was out of their league. They were waiting for me to save them.
It seems that in the end, it's no good unless I do it myself.
No, I'm not lonely at all.
Some things never change.
"In the end, it's no good unless I do it myself," I whispered as I extended my hand.
The butterfly settled on my wrist and changed into a glowing band of blue light. It tightened slowly.
As always, I could only rely on myself.
