I accidentaly reposted chapter onw again... this IS chapter two this time, sorry!
Chapter 2
"He loves me. I always kind of knew that." She laughed nervously and slightly unstably, taking a shaky swig of butterbeer.
"Well…" Hermione pursed her lips looking at her friend, knowingly yet cautiously; her and Ginny were close but they rarely went out for lunch, mostly because of family and the circles they ran in they saw each other plenty without extra plans on the side. From the get go Hermione knew something big was happening, or something was just very wrong. "do you love him back?"
Ginny looked up and stared blankly. Very wrong, She thought to herself, Hermione'd never seen Ginny so at a loss, or lost.
"He asked me to run away with him; to be with him." She looked winded and frightened.
"Yes," Hermione gave her a soft understanding look, "I know. Why didn't you say yes than?"
Ginny smiled a bitter smile, "I couldn't have even said yes if he weren't with someone else."
Hermione rolled her eyes, "Ginny, I'm all for upholding moral standards but everyone knows he doesn't love her. Everyone knows you're so much more important, even she probably knows it."
"Then why doesn't he just break up with her?" Ginny's heart had hardened suddenly, "You shouldn't have to tear yourself away from a woman you don't care for. And it shouldn't be that difficult to be single for a woman you care for either." Her face and emotions closed off immediately. If she could hide behind his short comings so she wouldn't have to face her fears, she would. They both knew it.
"Ginny," Hermione looked at her, careful to state the obvious, "you never gave him any indication that you loved him back like that. You never showed that you were interested."
"Neither did he." She looked at Hermione with a harsh glare.
"Well, he did last night didn't he?" Hermione said with a pointed look.
Ginny glared at Hermione, gathering her thoughts and searching for a rebuttal, "Love me or her; he shouldn't have to make a decision. I would drop it all for him. But I won't be the other woman."
"Oh, Ginny…"
"No! I know what everyone thinks; that we're meant to be. I won't lie, I thought so too. But he can't just say things like that offhand. He can't just…"
"What, Ginny? He can't just be in love with you? He went on a whim, it's not like you are clearly in love with him! He loves you Ginny, and maybe he's in the wrong. But if you love him back don't push him away." It was odd, Hermione lecturing to her about love; books didn't teach you love she thought to herself. Then again, Hermione was much more than just book smart.
Hermione observed Ginny carefully and gently changed the subject "Lets just let it go, and go back to work Ginny. Just please tell me you wont push him away for no reason." She stood up and put some gold on the table.
"Yea… thanks for taking lunch with me." she thanked with a real, slightly tired, smile.
"Anytime Ginny."
Ginny spent the rest of her day at work thinking about Malfoy and his words, on and off; half wishing she'd said yes and half sure she should have been harsher and cut him out completely.
She went home earlier Sunday evenings, and got to the steps of her apartment around six o'clock.
She walked in and looked at the couch noncommittally, to nevertheless find him sitting there.
Instead of ignoring him like she had last night she walked toward him and stood at the back of the armchair he was occupying and breathed in a no nonsense dangerous tone into the back of his head, "Malfoy."
He rolled his head back and looked up at her lazily with a superior smirk on his face.
"You'd better be making spaghetti tonight." He lolled his head back in position and continued reading that days Daily Prophet rubbing the back of his neck "I've had a shitty day and I need something delicious."
She stared down it his head her mouth open, unable to actually think of anything to say she stalked over to the kitchen and threw some pasta into a pot, all the while wondering why he continued to plague her house for dinner. She didn't even really give great dinner conversation. Hermione was right, she gave him no indication that she cared. It had never occurred to her that she'd had to; she figured he knew she cared.
She set the pot to boil and walked over to him again, this time approaching him from the front and looked down at him with a face that clearly said 'WELL?'
"I lost a client today." He said without looking up from his paper.
She just continued to stare him down with a harsh look on her face, and was really beginning to wonder why he bothered with her at all.
He sighed and put the paper down. "I didn't sleep last night, I woke un an hour late and got hell from my boss and I stepped into a puddle this morning and walked around for 3 hours with gross wet socks before I realized I could dry them with magic." He raised his eyebrows at me.
I sat down next to him heavily and turned my head to look him.
Sensitivity, she thought, work on your sensitivity. "That sucks" she got out.
He smirked a little at her.
"So, fettuccini?"
She glared back "Marinara."
He looked a little put out, like he always looked when things weren't going his way, something that often happened around her, "I suppose with the right amount of cheese that would be good." He added nonchalantly as if marinara were really his next request.
She was the one smiling now, "with garlic." And for a split second she could see his mouth form a pout before he caught himself and she laughed and got up and went back to the kitchen to prepare the sauce.
He turned and glared at her retreating figure and shot, "tease!" at her back.
She just grinned at him and started chopping tomatoes.
Twenty minuets later he was lying on his back done with his paper, staring at the ceiling when Ginny cleared her throat. He looked up and she was plating the pasta. Glaring at him harshly she then looked, none to subtly at the bare table.
Dragging his legs Draco pulled himself off the couch and too her drawers and cupboards, getting cups and cutlery. They worked in a comfortable silence, what he was thinking she had no idea, but she watched him and wondered again why he came to her house for dinner, when he could go out anywhere with anyone. She was grumpy at best every evening and dinner conversation was nil or yelling on her part. No where else would make him actually work either. Before bringing the pasta over she grated cheese over his plate. Setting food down at both place settings, Ginny got out her usual meal time literature and sat down to her own plate of spaghetti.
Without a word, a hand, attached to an arm, attached to Draco Malfoy pulled the book down.
"You know it was all a bluff," he said looking her in the eye, somehow through being an ass hole he looked completely sincere, "of course it'll wait."
She looked at him and nodded and pulled the book back upright. She never knew how to react to him when he was blunt; when she was blunt she was testy and snappy at best. When he was he wore his heart on his sleeve like it couldn't get ripped in two; it was unnerving.
She didn't read a single word of her book that night but flipped the pages believably three times. She could hear him eating, it wasn't unusually loud or odd, it sounded the same, but she was so in tune to him at that moment. She was fighting so hard not to look at him that the sound of his eating completely distracted her senses. She was still thinking about what Hermione had said, how she never gave an indication that she might care. Finally, she lifted her eyes to look up at him.
"I was bluffing too you know," She said, "of course I care."
He made about two seconds of eye contact and smirked and nodded.
"Cocky bastard" she mumbled and rolled her eyes, going back and reading, again but actually reading this time.
The second time she looked up it was the absence of noise that distracted her, she looked at him and rose an eyebrow precariously high. She might have questioned why he put up with her poor company but she knew what kept him coming back for the most part was he loved her food and his plate wasn't half eaten.
"You'd hit me If I kissed you now right?" He was smirking at her in his pretentious knowing way that made her face turn red.
"Yes." She hissed out as scathingly as she could and brought her book up higher. She wanted him to know she cared, she didn't want him to walk all over her though. It was a bluff though, and he defiantly didn't know it.
"You know I did like her" he said, her face wasn't red anymore but she had mentally just cringed, she hated talking about Rose.
Ginny stared at him, it hurt but instead of showing it she nodded reasonably, "I know."
"And you know I thought you were good together." A resentfully honest statement she managed to get out without a glitch.
"I know." he said tiredly.
"We weren't though."
She rolled my eyes.
"You're too difficult to please" if she was honest with herself it was all really just a ruse for him to say that he wanted her again, or to say he loved her but she wasn't all that honest.
"Nope, I'm not." and maybe if he knew what she was thinking he would have said exactly what she'd wanted to hear, it was probably true anyways, but she was fairly good at keeping her thoughts unreadable.
"I just need a ridiculously hard-headed prickly girl who makes me spaghetti with extra cheese." It wasn't I love you, but it made her giddy inside and with easier spirits right away.
"Oh right, easy to please." she grinned, when she was playful, she really was a good conversationalist. He turned serious again though
"I just didn't want to hurt her." Her, Rose, the girl that was so in love with him she'd convinced herself that Malfoy was a saint. The worst part was she was really, genuinely, a nice girl. Maybe not to Ginny; but she wasn't out rightly mean, she just kind of ignored Ginny. Ginny resented but could not actually dislike Rose; she could only be hurt that Malfoy wanted less to hurt her than he did Ginny.
She nodded though, "That just hurts her more though, you know that right?" this was something thing she did; she didn't let him get away with things to himself. She was honest and made him face it.
"I know." He said sighing heavily. "I should have talked to you about it." He said honestly.
"You didn't have to" she said, I wouldn't have wanted to hear it anyways, she thought.
"You should have told the truth in any case."
"I know" he said again. Not too concerned, but more contemplative.
"Did I fuck it all up?" he asked, turning and looking at Ginny.
"I don't know." Was all she said, not really sure what 'it' he was talking about. He nodded
"You don't care do you?" he said slightly bitterly. Yes, she wanted to say, but she couldn't. She rolled her eyes instead, "Of course I care you ass." She would never give him the benefit of her being okay with him, she hated herself for it but it was true.
He smirked anyways though, "I like hearing stuff like that," she gave him a disgusted look, "too bad I have to egotistically seek out remarks like that."
Her eyes were rolling before his sentence was even done "Good thing you have a nice big ego to compensate for that then."
She laughed and stood up, "I gotta go to bed Malfoy," which meant, time to leave, get out, she didn't want to talk to him anymore, "I have to go over to Ron and Hermione's tomorrow." It was her lame excuse to be away from him. He knew it, but couldn't prove it so he stood.
"Lunch at the Leaky Caldron?" he asked to her retreating back before going into the fire.
She turned back and looked at him and thought about him and lunch and them for a minuet or too and when she turned back.
"One o'clock" She nodded,
He grinned and nodded and said goodnight and walked to the fireplace waving once with his back turned before he was engulfed in the green flames.
She didn't even continue to her bedroom but collapsed on the couch half way there. How did big prats become so gooey in her hands. At least he wasn't a sop this time was all, she could say for herself. She went to bed feeling a little better but slightly used none the less.
After that they got lunch together most days. They'd eat somewhere none too exciting and stroll around Diagon alley or Muggle London for half an hour talking. That was how she wanted to remember their relationship, pleasant, uncomplicated and nice. The thought consumed her mind even on her most pleasant afternoons with him. There was no denying that some sickening kind of perfection lay in their relationship. Ginny just couldn't convince herself that anything was worth jeopardizing an already lovely stroll around London. Draco on the other hand, couldn't see what was more worth taking to the next level than the most amazing woman he ever had the pleasure of entertaining.
This is what made them so special, the mere fact they enjoyed each other wholly. They were people from different tracks of life doing their business, with love; perhaps not in love, but with love.
They were ordinary. Personality wise, job wise they were anything but, but in their day to day interactions with each other they were not explosively passionate, nor adventurous—they were ordinary. Just two people, sitting in a room together enjoying each others company for the most part; enjoyment that seemed to never burn out.
To some it seemed like mediocrity had taken over and infested their lives. But true mediocrity is like true contentment, one step away from bliss, one step away from greatness.
Contentment is all-consuming, it is when everything is at peace and at rest—never above par but still a little bit more than okay—and bliss is the all consuming feeling of joy; always more than you expect or desire. That's what Draco knew they could have, Bliss and Ginny feared loosing contentment for something that she might not ever obtain.
