Thank you all for the reviews. Here is the next chapter! Yay for me, I finally finished it! It is difficult to find time to write when you are moving halfway across the country, but I will try to get these out in a somewhat timely fashion!
Disclaimer: As always, it is not mine. I don't own the characters or the world. If I did, then things would have happened very differently in the books and I wouldn't be spending my time writing fanfics :)
Enjoy!
To Be a Monster
Chapter Four: Questions
Lily Evans, soon to be Potter, saw her relatively short life flash before her eyes. She never believed that on the verge of death, a person saw their life in images, but she did now. Nor did she believe that time would slow down, but it did. She saw the enraged werewolf fly through the air at her at an incredibly slow speed, but still, she could do nothing but watch her cause of death in disbelief.
Abruptly the door crashed open behind her and a large black dog burst into the room snarling, and knocked the wolf across the room. He stood between the wolf and Lily, growling protectively. Someone behind Lily yanked her out of the room into the hall. She found herself looking at James. He bit his lip, looking at her.
"Lily, I know you are terrified, but you have to get everyone out of the house. I can't leave Sirius in there alone. Can you do that?"
She nodded, "James, be careful," she whispered, nearly in tears. He nodded, touching her cheek and then pushing her towards the stairs. She caught a brief glimpse of Prongs before he charged into the room.
ooOoo
Remus woke up he looked around in confusion. He had no idea where on earth he was. It was a strangely empty looking room. He turned his head slightly, wincing in pain. The first thing he saw was Padfoot and Prongs curled protectively around him, still in animal form. Remus looked at himself and let out a startled gasp. He was drenched in blood, and naked. Suddenly it hit him, what had happened. He sat up to quickly, looking around wildly. He let out a cry of pain, grasping his chest. Immediately Padfoot woke, took one look at him, and then changed back into Sirius. James followed a moment behind.
"Remy?" Sirius murmured quietly, looking distressed. Remus looked at him and focused,
"Lily?" he asked, looking anguished.
"We got her out Remus. She's okay. A little shook up, but not hurt," James told him quickly. Remus sighed in relief, lying back down. The room was spinning and he felt like he was going to vomit any moment.
"Remus?" Sirius asked uncertainly.
"Lost too much blood," Remus murmured, gasping for air.
"I'm going to go get Lily. I will be right back Remus," James said in alarm. Sirius gently pulled Remus into his lap, easing his breathing. He took off his cloak and covered his shaking friend with it. The sight of the tattoo gouged in his flesh sent a flash of fury through the dog Animagus. He wanted very badly to growl and snarl to demonstrate his anger.
"What, happened?" Remus whispered, returning Padfoot's attention to him.
"We forgot to watch for when the full moon was while you were healing. Lily thought it best to keep you asleep. I don't know what happened last night Remus. I've never seen Moony so angry. It was hard to
keep you in the house. I would guess it might have something to do with the last time you changed being traumatic. Remus, we hurt you last night," Sirius said, looking ashamed.
"Did, did I b-bite anyone?" Remus stuttered anxiously.
"There were a few close calls, but Prongs sat on you and stopped it," Sirius said with a small smile. Remus gave him a slightly incredulous look.
"Sat on me?" he asked indignantly. Sirius nodded in confirmation, grinning a bit wider.
"Yeah, and let me tell you, Moony did not appreciate being sat upon." Remus gave him a hesitant smile at that, but was starting to feel extremely dizzy.
Lily and James rushed in, both looking concerned. Lily swiftly knelt beside Remus and forced a blood replenishing potion down his throat before he could even try to speak. She looked at the various wounds on his body and began to heal them.
When she finally looked back up, Remus was refusing to look at her, his eyes focused on the door instead.
"I am sorry for last night, Lily. I could have killed you," he said softly.
"But you didn't," Lily said softly. She reached out and gently gripped his chin, directing his eyes up. "Don't you dare blame yourself, Remus! We were silly for not paying attention to what the moon was doing. I was so focused on healing you; I sort of forgot that one minor detail."
"Minor detail?" Remus asked incredulously. "Lily—"
"Hush," Lily said, resting her hand on his lips. "I do not want to hear another word about it, Remus. Besides, I have always wondered what you look like as a wolf. Now I know."
Remus, along with James and Sirius, just stared at her. Sirius glanced at his two friends, "Lils, if we knew you were so curious, we would have arranged to take a picture."
"Yeah, or I would have sat on him first, and then let you see," James added with a chuckle. Remus rolled his eyes, but also smiled slightly.
"Are you feeling up to going to your room to rest, or should we levitate you?" Lily asked him. Remus snorted,
"I'll walk, thank you. Prongs, I can't believe you sat on me!" he exclaimed, as James and Sirius helped him up, wrapping the cloak tighter around him. "I had deer butt on me! All the other werewolves are going to make fun of me now," he added with a slight pout. Lily giggled at the offended look on the face of her fiancé.
"I am a stag, not a 'deer' and there is nothing wrong with my butt, thank you very much!" James retorted narrowing his eyes. Sirius snorted at that statement, earning a smack on the back of the head, courtesy of Lily.
"I'll have you know, he does have a very nice butt," she stated. Sirius and Remus promptly gagged, covering their ears.
James snorted, glaring at his two friends, but relieved that the tension between them seemed to have finally broken. They were the Marauders again. Now if only they could get Peter to stop acting so strangely.
ooOoo
Remus frowned when he walked into the kitchen for breakfast. As there was not a meeting going on, there weren't many people; just James, Sirius, Lily, Frank, and Alice. They all leapt to their feet when he entered the room, looking much more put together, now that he was clean, dressed, and had several hours of sleep behind him.
"Relax, I am fine!" he exclaimed, walking to the table. "A bit tired, but Lily has excellent healing skills. I'll be stiff for a couple days. You two know that, at least," Remus said, glancing at James and Sirius.
"Remus, are you sure? You look awful!" Alice exclaimed. Remus rolled his eyes,
"Thank you, Alice. Everyone loves hearing they look horrible. Really though, I am okay. I've been doing this for a long time now. Don't fuss so much. Now, moving on to much more important matters; what is there to eat around here?"
James laughed, "You lunch is ready. You are having a steak, rare of course, and plenty of other meat to go with it. Watch it though; Lily insists on something green, though I tried to tell her Moony doesn't like vegetables."
"Nonsense, I've seen Remus eat vegetables all the time!" Lily said as she brought his plate over, an eyebrow arched. Remus laughed, accepting the plate,
"I do like veggies, usually. But for about two days after the moon I still have the taste of a wolf. Try getting one to eat broccoli. I doubt it will happen."
"Really? That is interesting," Lily said thoughtfully. "If you have the taste of a wolf, why bother cooking the meat at all?"
Remus scrunched his face at that, "Because while I might only enjoy things a wolf might, I am still human and I really don't think I could force myself to eat totally raw meat. Yuck."
James and Sirius nodded in agreement at that. "Yeah, and it wouldn't have helped him blend in during school either. Kids might have looked weird at someone eating raw meat in the great hall. It's a bit suspicious," James told her, wrapping an arm around her waist.
They all let Remus eat in peace for a while, and then Alice spoke up. "Remus, dear, now that we have you conscious and not on a mission, do you mind if we ask you some questions? I mean, I have a feeling that what little we did learn about werewolves in school was probably based on guesses with no real facts. Besides that, we want to get to know you a little better, now that you don't have to hide from us."
Remus looked at her in surprise. Very rarely did anyone want to know anything about him, or the wolf, once they found out what he was. It was a great feeling to be able to freely talk about his life, without worrying about being abandoned. Sirius, James, and Peter had already proven that people did have the ability to judge him by his actions, not just by what he was.
"Well, sure," Remus said uncertainly. James smiled, squeezing his shoulder,
"I think it's a good idea. A lot we learned in school was useless."
Alice smiled, "Very well. I guess my first question could pertain to all of you. Why did you start the nicknames?"
"Well, when we learned exactly what Remus had been hiding from us, we had a lot of questions for him too," Sirius started. Remus snorted at that,
"They followed me around all weekend with endless questions," he informed them. "But they did actually ask a relevant one. They wanted to know whether the werewolf was always a part of me, if my personality just radically changed once a month, if he was a separate entity. I actually had to think about that one for quite a while to come up with the answer.
"I think that the wolf, or 'Moony' according to the guys, is an entirely separate being that is rather strongly attached to my emotions. I can always feel him in the back of my mind. The closer to the full moon, the stronger his presence is."
"What do you mean by him being tied to your emotions?" Frank asked, looking fascinated. Remus smiled slightly,
"Well, the biggest think you would probably notice is that if I get very angry, and I mean I have to be enraged, my eyes will flash yellow. I've heard that it is 'freaky'" Remus told them, glancing and James and Sirius, who were nodding.
"Very disconcerting," James said.
"What did you guys do to make him that mad?" Lily asked. Both men looked uncomfortable, while Remus gave them a slight smirk.
"It was during 'Operation: Test to see if our best friend is a werewolf'." Remus said with laugh. "Yes, they did name it, and had a notebook and everything with a rather long checklist. Despite all that, they ignored the part of checking to see if my disappearances coincided with the full moon, which seems the easiest way to me."
"Well, it really didn't occur to us at the time, and we didn't know you would react like that!" Sirius protested weakly. Lily, Alice, and Frank were obviously on the edge of their seats, eagerly waiting the rest of the tale.
Remus rolled his eyes, and then looked at the others. "The idiots decided the best way to see if I was a werewolf, was to see how I would react if I came in contact with silver."
"Silver!" Lily shouted, causing James and Sirius to cower, and Remus to wince. Lily, a healer, noticed immediately.
"What?" she asked him. He grinned at her.
"I have exceptionally good hearing. Normally I have a spell up to filter out some of the volume."
"He invented the spell himself, cause of all the time you and James ended up screaming at each other," Sirius said with a laugh.
"Oh. Sorry Remy," Lily said, the turned back to James and Sirius.
"Silver?! You could have killed him!"
"Well they know that now," Remus said with another smirk, looking at his cowering friends. "The three of them cornered me one day, and it was only a few days before the moon, so I was a bit touchy. Peter told me that if I 'refused to tell them, then this would'." Remus said. He then stopped speaking, glaring slightly at Sirius, who flushed in embarrassment.
"The rest didn't go very well," James said quietly. "Peter threw a silver bracelet at him, and it hit his neck. Next thing we knew, he had all three of us pinned up against the wall, about a foot in the air."
"That was when we got to see his eyes turn yellow," Sirius added. "Poor Remus had been suffering through our 'brilliant' plan all month, and took it out on us then."
"In other words I gave them a lecture about how if they had just sat me down and asked, I might have been inclined to share that detail with my friends," Remus said.
"Yes, then he played a bloody cruel prank on us!" Sirius exclaimed. "He gripped his neck and started acting like he was choking, and even fell on the ground. He looked like he was in a lot of pain. We thought we had killed him!"
"Yeah, and then after he had us in tears, he evidently felt we had suffered enough. He quite calmly got to his feet, dusted himself off, and informed us that had that bracelet been made of real silver, it would have poisoned him enough to cause serious damage, if not death. Then he just left us there!"
"You idiots deserve it!" Alice snapped at them. "What an awful thing to do!"
"Well, we did learn," James said. Remus chuckled, hugging the two of them,
"You always have to do something dramatic to get anything through their thick skulls. Besides, I was pissed off," he said affectionately.
"Wow," Alice said. Remus chuckled, then continued,
"Anyways, that is probably the clearest way you will notice the wolf personality. But, a great deal of my reactions to things are toned with the way a wolf would react. I have to struggle a lot of the time to keep Moony in check. Many werewolves have little or no control over their wolf counterpart. It makes them rather antisocial around people.
"Another issue is wolf instincts, especially related to the pack. I tend to view people around me, which are close to me as my pack. I have to remind myself quite often that you guys don't see it that way exactly."
"What do you mean by pack? How is it different than how anyone else would look at their friends and family?" Frank asked. Remus sighed, brushing his hair back. He had never really gotten into this with anyone, even the other Marauders. James and Sirius looked very interested.
"Alright, in a wolf or rather werewolf pack, things tend to be very structured. There is an order of dominance, starting with the alpha, which can be male or female. Every member has their place, and a way to behave towards other members of other ranks," he told them, fidgeting slightly.
"For instance, I look at all of you, my family, James' family, many of the teachers and some other students we went to school with as part of my 'pack'. While I realize you all don't function that way, I
can't help but see it that way. It might explain certain things that you might have seen as out of character for me. For me, my alpha— Merlin this is embarrassing," he muttered.
"Remus, you don't have to tell us anything you feel is too personal if you don't want to," Sirius told his friend firmly.
"Of course you don't," Lily said. "If we are asking something you don't wish to talk about, tell us to shove off."
Remus gave her a small smile, "It's all right, Lily. I don't mind telling you guys I guess. But I've thought about it myself and it kind of makes me seem as though I don't have all that much control over the wolf, if I let those instincts control my behavior as I do. The problem is, if I fight it too much, it makes living with Moony rather challenging. In other words, he doesn't shut up." Remus took a deep breath,
"Alright, for me I see James as the alpha, which answers all of your endless questions as to why I never tried to get him and Sirius to stop being idiots when we were a bit younger," he said. James looked startled and honestly touched. He didn't take his eyes off of Remus, who was concentrating on his hands.
"In a pack, the alpha is in charge yes, but is also responsible for the general well being of the other members. James might have been a bit…"
"Of a prick," James filled in himself, making Remus chuckle.
"Well yes, but you always look out for the rest of us. You have an excellent ability to lead others, and others are often willing to follow you. Now, for everyone else, I will admit that I ranked them above me in the general pecking order." Remus held up his hands to stall their protests.
"Relax; it isn't because I see you as better or myself as inferior. It has to do with my human personality, which is to watch and follow usually. It has more to do with Moony's personality, which is not at all like my own. In a pack, rank also has to do with age. The wolf side of a werewolf ages rather slowly. In essence, Moony is still a cub."
"A cub!" Sirius exclaimed, shocked. Remus chuckled at the expressions on their faces.
"Yes, a cub. He will get bigger and stronger. That's why I always ask you how you guys handled him through the night. You may or may not be able handle me when I am older. Depends on how Moony continues to view Padfoot and Prongs.
"He definitely wouldn't kill you, or any member of my 'pack' for that matter," Remus glanced at Lily, a concerned look on his face. Despite what she said, he was still worried that she may be angry with him. "But he would definitely bite you, so you could join his pack too."
Everyone was quite for a long moment, processing this information. Alice set her elbow on the table, then propped her head on her hand, brushing her wavy brown hair back out of her face.
"So Remus, what perks do you get from Moony?" she asked with a mischievous smile.
"He's got super hearing and sight in the dark!" Sirius exclaimed enthusiastically.
"He is very strong, as he proved when he pinned all of us to the wall, by himself," James added.
"He's faster and has greatly increased stamina. Man can run for a long time!" Sirius said with a chuckle.
Remus rolled his eyes, "That's pretty much it," he said with a yawn. Frank and Alice exchanged a wicked look as their friend got to his feet, obviously intending to leave.
"So Remus, that increased stamina of yours… Does that mean for everything?" Frank asked, wiggling an eyebrow. Remus looked at him for a long moment, and then blushed slightly when he got the meaning of the question. He stalked out of the room, muttering about nosy friends with rude questions under his breath. James and Sirius were laughing hysterically. Sirius suddenly jumped to his feet,
"Wait, Moony! That's a good question!" he shouted running after his friend, James hot on his heels.
"Yeah, I can't believe we never thought of that one. Moony!"
Lily watched the three of them with a smile, rolling her eyes. She glanced at Frank and Alice, who were laughing,
"It's really great to see them smile again."
Well that's that. Hope you liked. There will likely be more action in the next chapter! Reviews are nice... not that I am suggesting anything!
