Okay so here we go, Chapter 2! Enjoy guys!! xx Thanks for all the comments, there will be the full scene leading up to Olivia being shot and Elliot struggling to save her in the next chapter!

Elliot sat at his desk, his head was throbbing. Three months, today it had been three months since his partner died in his arms. She had held onto him so tightly as he tried to save her, he'd cradled her in his arms for hours after she had died. Just staring at her, refusing to accept that she was really gone. Eventually sobbing as he accepted that there was nothing anyone could do. He shook his head trying to get rid of the image in his head. Every night as he lay in bed struggling to sleep he'd hear her, struggling to breathe,

"El...I'm cold..." Would echo through his mind, he held her hand and kissed her softly on the forehead as she slipped away. He'd promised her that he was going to get her out, even told her he was going to do all of her paper work for a year if she'd just open her eyes. As he realised she was gone he slipped into shock and openly sobbed as he cradled her lifeless body for hours until Cragen and Fin burst through the doors. He couldn't remember much after that, it was a blur. The next thing he remembered was waking up, feeling a soft hand holding his and for one minute thinking it was all a dream, until he heard Kathy's gentle sobs.

"Please wake up," she begged him as she held their youngest son in her arms and held his hand. His recovery was painful. After being stabbed in his right arm he needed two months of physiotherapy, after just four weeks back at work he was already tired of it. It wasn't the same, and yet he found himself there more than he was at home, even when he was finished work he would hang around. Now at 1 am he was sat at his desk staring at the empty space in the desk across from him.

"Elliot," he looked up to see Cragen, he sat up and straitened himself out. "What are you doing here?" he asked softly sitting next to him,

"I just wanted to catch up on some paper work-"

"Do you have any left? You've been here every night for the past few weeks, you're supposed to be on light duty – that doesn't mean 20 hours a day." He told him, Elliot nodded. Again his gaze shifted to the empty chair across from him. Cragen turned and looked at the space.

"It gets easier," he told the younger man, Elliot looked up at him.

"Any news on Jackman?" he asked ignoring his CO's previous comment, Cragen shook his head.

"We've still got all airports and ports looking for him, he won't get away with this Elliot,"

"I know," Elliot looked up,

"I think that you should take some time off-"

"I've just got back, I'm fine." Elliot interrupted,

"Off this case at least, we all want to catch him Elliot but it's taking over your life-"

"Yeah, well he needs to be caught, he needs to pay for...for what he did." He couldn't say it, he couldn't utter the words that he'd been avoiding for so long. Cragen thought for a moment before looking Elliot,

"We all miss her..."

"You know what-" Elliot stood up "you're right I should go home," he slowly walked away. Don turned to the empty desk behind him, it had remained empty for three months. He sighed as he walked over to it. He rested his fingers on it. He still couldn't quite believe she was gone, everyone around them was just coming to terms with the loss, Fin was more determined to punish every perp, convinced that he should have caught Jackman before he'd killed Olivia. Munch was much quieter, he could see a deep sadness in his eyes, but the pair carried on and struggled through their grief. Elliot was inconsolable, constantly pushing himself to get every clue going to find the man responsible for the teams anguish. He wouldn't talk about it, or her, something that hurt his colleagues deeply, at the first mention of her name he would leave, or change the subject to Jackman, he wasn't sleeping or eating, and Don didn't know what to do. He shuddered as he remembered finding them, Elliot had been dipping in and out of consciousness, when he and Fin had tried to get near to Olivia he'd refused to let go of her.

"She's fine...she's fine with me." Elliot mumbled as he tightened his grip on his friend.

"Elliot, we need to check she's okay you gotta let me see her,"

"You can't hurt her!" he yelled,

"Elliot, it's me, it's Fin," Fin put his hand gently on his arm, "You gotta let me check her, come on." He gently pried Olivia out of Elliot's arms and pulled her closer to him, Elliot began to openly sob, something Cragen had never seen. "Oh no," Fin sat and pulled Liv closer to him he didn't even have to touch her, she was covered in blood and was so pale, he moved the hair that was covering her face. She was so cold. "Oh no, baby..." he gently kissed her on the head. Cragen looked at Fin unable to speak, He bent down next to Elliot and shook his emotions into place,

"We're gonna get you out of here Elliot," he looked behind him to see the medics running through as Elliot slipped out of consciousness again.

Elliot had given minimal details of what had happened. They had been chasing a known drug dealer who forced young children to smuggle drugs into and out of the country, and they'd been cornered by him and members of his team. Didn't know how to help, he didn't know how to make it all okay and he too was struggling with losing a woman he adored and respected. Without realising it she had held the team together and now they were falling apart.

EOEOEOEOE

"El...I'm cold..." she sobbed as he pulled her closer to him, putting pressure on the wound.

"I'm gonna get you out of here I promise, you hear me. And you know what I'm gonna do your paperwork for a year, she struggled to smile. "This isn't it for us Liv, they're gonna find us. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you again okay? Nothing, as soon as we get out of here that's it, you – cotton wool. And you're gonna hate it but it's gonna keep you safe,"

"You..." she struggled to take a breath, "You don't have to...do this...I know, it's not...looking good."

"I'm gonna get you out of here if it's the last thing I do," as he spoke her eyes became heavy and she began to close them, "No, no, no Liv, come on." He gently shook her until she opened her eyes. " Tell me something, anything...tell me something you've never told anyone else?"

The words swam around in his head, the second there was silence her gasps and whimpers came back to him, he couldn't get her out of his head. He had managed to keep her awake for at least another hour before she finally left him. He refused to think of that last hour when he had openly cried with her and begged her not to leave him. He had to focus, Jackman wouldn't get away with it, there was no way in hell. Elliot swore that he wouldn't stop until he got him, but this time it was different, he wasn't going to arrest him, or beat him. He was going to kill the man who killed Olivia Benson.

So what do you think? Please review! xxxx