A/N: Sorry for the wait but it was like one thing after another in my house. You shouldn't have to wait to long for the next chappie. Thanx to everyone reading and especially those who review.
Songs for this chapter:
"Love You Madly"-Cake
"Extraordinary"-Liz Phair
EPOV
Morning couldn't have come quick enough for me. Alice was grinning in the front seat while Jasper reclined in the back with a smirk on his face. I'd never felt this excited to go to school in decades, actually on the verge of giddy. I pulled into the school parking lot almost twenty minutes early so I'd be there when Jillian arrived. We got out of the car to wait casually, Alice and Jasper whispered couple type things while I leaned against the driver's side of my car, straining my already fine tuned hearing to its limits for the sound of Ginger's Navigator. With ten minutes till the bell rang, I heard her coming up the main street. I looked over at Alice to receive a smile and a wink before we gathered our things and began walking towards the school building. It took me spilling every thought and feeling I had towards Jillian to convince Alice to help me with a plan to speak to her. As I walked slowly by, Jillian emerged from the passenger side and proceeded to trip on the way out. I caught her just in time since I managed to be right there when it happened. The fall and catch I planned on, but what occurred after she was in my arms wasn't expected. The minute her eyes looked into mine, I momentarily forgot all the carefully planned out sentences in my head and only became aware of Jillian in all possible ways. Even though I was holding her very close, Jillian's eyes held no fear. Surprise, yes but no fear was seen. I took a breath to steady myself and found her wildflower scent had grown with my touch that carried on the sudden breeze that had come from nowhere. It felt like an eternity that I held her warm body near mine, my hands relishing the heat they received from touching her, but it wasn't long enough for me I found. Jillian recovered from her shock and instantly smiled at me which caused me to return one. Well, a crooked one since I was still reeling from holding her. I held her loosely as she righted herself but still hadn't removed my hands from her waist, but she hadn't removed her hands from my arms when she had grabbed me to keep from falling.
"Thanks. I wasn't looking forward to walking around the rest of the day with a busted up nose," she said in a breezy voice. She bit her lip as she released my arms and moved cautiously out of my grasp.
"Yeah, i-it was pretty lucky I was nearby," I said as lightly as I could. I was trying to hold back the sadness I felt over not having her in my arms anymore. And did I just stutter? I must have otherwise Jasper wouldn't be trying to hide back the laughter and thinking I was a moron.
Jillian still held her smile as she reached into the vehicle and retrieved her book bag. I was still lost in my own world when Jillian looked at me curiously.
"Was there something else you wanted? Or are you just blocking the door to be funny?" She asked in a joking manner. I choked a small sorry out and moved out of her way. Jillian turned to go when I called out to her.
"Wait, do you mind if I walk with you to class? Alice and your friend seem to be very involved in their conversation."
"Sure," she answered. I noticed a slight hesitation in her voice but her smile held. Still sweet and genuine.
We walked towards the campus, her right arm swinging freely, just millimeters from my left. It took enormous restraint not to reach out and hold her hand in mine. We were about halfway to her first class when I couldn't hold back the chuckles building up in me.
"What's so funny?" Jillian asked.
"Just a little inside joke. I'll tell you someday."
What really had me laughing was the absurdity the thoughts of most students in this school had. While Mike and Eric, along with a few other boys, were having thoughts of how to murder me so Jillian would belong to them, Jessica Stanley was having traitorous thoughts about the girl she called friend and how she was the one that should have been with me. Something that would never happen seeing as how Jessica had absolutely nothing of value to me. Physically or mentally. We arrived at the door to Jillian's first class and I looked down at her, trying to memorize how beautiful she looked standing in front of me.
"Well, this is me. Thanks again for saving my face from the pavement."
"It's no big deal. I'll save you a seat in Chemistry."
"Right," she said giggling as she turned and stepped into her class.
After a moment I walked to my own class, thinking of Jillian the whole way. I was anxious for Chemistry this afternoon so I could talk to her again. I wanted to know all I could about her and then I realized the middle of class was not the place. I doubted the teacher would just let us sit there and question each other without interruption. Inviting her to sit with my siblings at our table might intimidate her too much to open up in front of them. She might not have the natural fear response towards me, but Alice could be overwhelming. There was absolutely no way I was sitting with Jillian at her table. Mike would be dead within five minutes and the thought of Jessica pawing at me wasn't appealing at all. I was thinking of how I could invite her to sit with me without making such a public display, when my cell phone buzzed. A message from Alice told me what time to expect Jillian to walk through the cafeteria doors. I smiled to myself while slipping the phone back into my jacket.
At nine past twelve Jillian walked through the doors and made her way into the lunch line. I of course had again timed it so I fell into line directly behind her. Jasper had accidentally tripped up Newton in the hall giving me the moment I needed. I took a small step closer and was deciding what to say when her soft voice interrupted my thoughts.
"Well this is a first," she said turning to me with a smile, "I don't think I've ever seen you in the lunch line."
"I'm pretty quick so I get here a bit early," I replied nervously, my smile again becoming crooked.
"I've noticed," Jillian smirked.
She turned back and began gathering a few things for lunch. Most girls today took a salad or one item, Jillian had a four course meal on her tray followed up with water. I kept walking behind in silence till she reached the register when I took her tray. She looked at me surprised but followed me as I walked past her normal table and to an empty one a few feet away. Jillians look switched between curious and amused and I noticed the scent of wildflowers increased slightly. I needed to talk to Carlisle about vampires sense of smell failing. I placed her tray in the middle of the table and went to pull her chair out but she was already sitting before I could. I wasn't the only that was quick. I sat across from her as she began eating her fruit salad.
"You not eating again today?" she asked after her first bite.
"I might steal something of yours." I joked, "I'm not really a fan of school lunches."
"The ones here are better than most," Jillian replied thoughtfully, "Besides, I like to eat contrary to popular belief. School lunches aren't going to ruin my appetite."
"I'm curious as to how a small person can actually eat so much?"
"Fast metabolism. Unless you ask Jessica or that blonde next to her. They'll say I'm small because of an eating disorder they decided I have."
"I don't pay much attention to school gossip."
"Me either. So you got me here all by my lonesome. Something you wanted to ask?" She said looking right into my eyes and smiling mischievously.
"Yes. I wanted to ask about you," I said matching her smile. Her gaze never wavered.
"What about me?"
"Everything."
JPOV
That's how we started talking. Me nearly killing myself in the school parking lot and then him being interested in the amount of food I consumed had brought Edward Cullen to my side. An idea I never allowed myself to think much about, but it here it was Friday morning and I was practically bouncing in my seat from excitement. Ginger would have been more thrilled if it didn't feel like she had the air conditioner on full blast because of my little problem. I admitted to myself how aware I was of Edward even though I tried to play it off to those around me and just denied it blatantly to myself. I made the fact pretty known when we first had lunch together. He noticed too, since he became slightly nervous at first when I mentioned something I had observed. At first I thought I'd really screwed up, being the dork I am by seeming a tad stalkerish, but that fear was gone the minute he started asking about me. It's like he couldn't get enough information on me, even when I tried for ten minutes to even stall any curiosities about me. I claimed to be the queen of all dorks and warned him that he would be bored by the end of lunch. Edward took me up on my challenge and stayed interested throughout the conversation.
I did feel bad that I couldn't share my life completely, sometimes having to answer in half-truths. Like when I talked about my metabolism, it was very fast, but only because of how much energy I used in a day due to my powers and resulting side-affects. By Thursday our conversation began with him simply asking my favorite song and became an hour long discussion about music. Most people looked at me like a freak because of the music I listened too. You name, I've heard it and probably have it downloaded. No matter the decade or genre I couldn't help what I liked. We did have quite the serious discussion on why Edward should give Dr. Dre a chance. Before I knew it, Edward had become as close a friend as I could have without knowing my secret. The urges to push for more were battling within me, but so far I had won out and kept them extremely repressed. Not that Ginger was much help with her constant badgering about how I should ask him out and how she thought we were adorable together. Alice apparently agreed since she dropped hints about my having to come over for dinner soon.
Other people in my life weren't' so happy about mine and Edward's new friendship. Mike had become more annoying than I thought possible. Mike was finding anything he could to some how talk badly about Edward to me. I ignored him as usual, letting Mike run his mouth until he said something really stupid that would give me the excuse to cause him to be thrown against some lockers. The only ones that really got to me were Jessica and her friend Lauren, the blonde from the table. Lauren was the type of person I tried my hardest to stay away from. Just as fake on the inside as she was on the outside. Their hateful comments were directed at me and weren't subtle at all. Lauren somehow managed to push me to the edge the other day in Chemistry but not enough to worry me. I was calm by the time Edward and I had finished our assignments so he didn't notice the momentary anger.
Despite some negativity, everything in my life felt great, almost at peace. I was feeling normal for once. I was a normal girl with a normal school life. Lunch came and suddenly it all changed. Edward and I were sitting at the same table we had on Wednesday. Today was more casual conversation with questions thrown in. Edward didn't talk much about himself and certain questions were answered in the same manner as some of mine. I noticed the look of guilt and regret would creep up occasionally when talking about certain things. I didn't say anything, not wanting to bring attention to his answers in case Edward called me on mine. I wasn't being completely honest anyways so complaining about him holding something back would be hypocritical of me. Edward was sitting across from me as I ate staring at my neck, something he did often, when he spoke.
"Your necklace," he started.
"What about it?" I asked looking at my plate. Suddenly the pizza I was eating became hard to swallow.
"I was curious if it meant anything in particular."
I took a moment to calm myself before sadness and fear overtook me. I didn't want to flood the room with my emotions. I lifted my eyes to his, staring deep into the dark golden topaz. I could fall into those I eyes. I mentally shook myself and answered his questions.
"It was a gift from my grandmother. I got it when I was thirteen. It's the only thing I really have left of her," I answered quietly before lowering my eyes.
I clasped my hands together under the table, my head was low and I closed my eyes. I tried to hold the sadness back, the fear of what I was when I felt something cool and smooth against my cheek. I knew it was Edward's fingers as they moved softly down my face and under my chin. I opened my eyes as he titlted my head up to look at him.
"I'm sorry I upset you. I don't like seeing you this sad Jillian," he whispered.
He had leaned in when he spoke so our faces were mere inches apart. I couldn't look away. I felt my face flush and cool at the same time as the air in the room redirected itself at me once again. I was losing control in a room full of people and I didn't care. I wanted nothing more than at that moment to move in closer to Edward. The bell ringing snapped me out the spell that had been created. I jumped back almost knocking my seat over while Edward had retreated to his side of the table. I let out a shaky breath I had no idea I was holding. Edward stood up and moved to my side holding out his hand.
"I'll walk you to class," he said hoarsely.
EPOV
Being with Jillian was the best experience of my life. Logically I knew that this might not last nearly as long as I want it to, I just let myself enjoy the time I had with her. I had found out so much about her in the past two days, but still I felt like I hadn't learned enough. I could see in her eyes she was hiding something when I asked certain things. She didn't speak of her mother and barely made mention of the grandmother she had lived with the past nine years. I learned about some of her time in California and imagined her in the sun, laughing at the trouble her and Ginger got into. She called herself a dork but she was beautiful, quirky but in a good way as I listened to her talk about certain comic books and why Star Wars was so the best film trilogy ever made. Not including the recent additions she pointed out. I was surprised by her knowledge of music. Everything I could think of she had at least one favorite artist in the genre or year. I felt human when near her. I still went to her house to watch her sleep, listening for when Jillian would say my name in a loving whisper. And she did often throughout the night. Jillian mentioned that she would begin volunteering at the animal hospital/shelter this weekend. I fell in love with her more and more as time passed.
I was amused by the reactions of the students who'd been watching us the past two days. Ginger and Alice had decided we were in fact the perfect couple. Alice of course was worse about it, talking about what Jillian should wear to our wedding and so on. I tried to see if mine and Jillian's future remained together. But as Alice has said, it was blurry. Nothing solid, just a blending of colors and distorted faces. As much as Alice hated not being able to see where the future was leading, I liked it. For once I could pretend that the possibility of being with Jillian longer than a year or two was possible. Friday I awoke excited for the time I could spend by Jillian's side. Alice however seemed down as I drove to school. I asked what was wrong and knowing she couldn't see if Jillian was involved.
"I just feel this extreme anger. I don't know why but Jillian will be involved," Alice said somberly.
I tensed, gripping the steering wheel tightly as I thought of Jillian. I couldn't possibly get angry with her and hurt her. Could I?
"No Edward, you're not involved."
I the tension in me faded but the worry lingered on. Something was going to happen and nothing good if the emotion anger was part of it. I only knew of two people actually angry with Jillian, and that was Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory. While most of the girls had slightly envious thoughts, none were as venomous as what those two girls would think about or say. I knew Lauren had a few times said beyond rude things to Jillian but I was at the time in no position to say anything about it. Jillian never mentioned it so I couldn't bring it up. Explaining how I knew would be near impossible. During our conversations I realized how observant she was of me. All this time I had been watching her, I hadn't noticed her watching me as well. I was once again staring at her neck. I wanted to run my tongue along her throat and taste her as best I could. She shifted and the necklace she wore caught the light, making it glint at me.
I asked about it, wondering why it was so important to her that she never took it off. I wasn't about to admit that I knew she wore it even in her sleep. Jillian gave me her answer but I could tell there was more to it but her sorrowful demeanor made me not push for more. The air in the room changed quickly. It was like storm clouds had rolled in from the sea and it was about to rain down on us. I could taste the salty moisture surrounding me. Jillian was looking down at her plate when I touched her. I wanted to hold her close, comfort her in some way. The softness of her pale skin stirred unknown emotions in me. My heart would be beating at break neck speed if it still beat at all. Hers that already trembled slightly fast was rapid like a hummingbird's wings. I lifted her face up so I could look at her. Jillian's eyes were more blue and glistening with unshed tears. Tears I caused with a simple question. I never felt so guilty. I leaned in to whisper my apologies, breathing in the sweet flowery scent that had strengthened even more with my touch. Jillian's face flushed to a lovely pink shade while her the emotions changed form sad into something else. I was leaning forward, compelled by some unseen force, to kiss her when the bell rang. Jillian jumped back into her seat, almost falling over backwards. I took a moment to give us time to compose ourselves before standing and offering her my hand.
We walked to class in silence, her hand gently held in mine. I had forgotten about my cold skin, but she didn't shrink away. My fingers were warming as they remained intertwined with Jillian's. I reluctantly let go as we approached our lab table. I sat down, my eyes never leaving Jillian. Her sadness had faded and the infectious smile she had was once again in place. Whispers about us were buzzing around the room. Most were wondering if we were a couple and such. Only a few were horrendous to listen to, especially Lauren's. She was sitting two lab tables up and one over on Jillian's side. The things she was hissing to her lab partner were vile and I was found wishing I didn't possess such excellent hearing. My only consolation at this time was that Jillian hadn't seemed to hear any of it so far. While I could care less what others in this school thought of me, Jillian didn't need to listen to such loathsome things.
Mr. Braymer began calling us forward to gather equipment for our introductory experiment. Basically it was us dissolving colored salt in beakers over water over a Bunsen burner. This was the teacher's way of determining who was responsible enough to handle the science supplies before any actual labs were done. Jillian and I set everything up quickly and was following the teacher's instructions on checking the temperature and such when Lauren began her rant about how horrible a person Jillian could be. As if that were possible. Unfortunately, Lauren wasn't whispering so softly. Jillian could hear what was being said about her. Tension was etched in Jillian's face as she sat unmoving in her seat, hands clutching the sides of the chair. I sat staring at Jillian as her eyes remained focus on the beaker that was slowly turning form clear water to red. Her hands were gripping the chair tighter when I smelled it. The smell of a match being lit. Only this time it smelt like the whole pack had been lit, and the smell was growing stronger by the second. I was trying to look around the room as best I could without losing sight of Jillian. The smell was coming form the room and now the temperature was rising as well. The burners could not be doing this till I heard it. The barely audible sound in my ears of glass as it begins to weak. The tinkling sound was getting louder to me and still Jillian remained rigid, looking only at the beaker as Lauren's verbal assault continued. The moment Lauren began addressing Jillian's family, I saw it. Her eyes turning to steely grey as her body tightened, coiling up.
I had managed to pull Jillian back as the beaker exploded. I had felt the tension in her explode outward and saw half the beakers shatter. Glass and colored water splattered the room and several people. I looked at Jillian still immobile, almost completely white. I whispered her name, causing her to blink and then close her eyes. Her pale face resumed some color and her heart rate slowed. Her breathing was still jittery. Mr. Braymer was scrambling around trying to figure out why the beakers had broken. I nudged Jillian, still had her eyes closed. When she opened them, she gasped as she looked around the room. It was like she hadn't seen any of it happen.
"Are you okay Jillian?" I asked.
She started to open her mouth, but shut it just as quickly and grabbed her things. She rushed up to Mr. Braymer, saying something about needing to clean off with everyone else and hurried out the door. I grabbed my things and followed after her. Her scent didn't lead to the girl's restroom with the others but down the hall that lead to the parking lot. I found her sitting on the curb, shaking uncontrollably. She looked up as I sat down next to her.
"I'm so sorry," she sobbed.
"Why are you apologizing? Its not your fault the lab equipment was faulty," I responded. As I said this, she tensed up. Jillian drew her arms tighter around herself and went back to looking ahead.
"Edward, you really shouldn't be around me," she whispered.
I was stunned. Where did this come from? How does what happened in the classroom factor into why we shouldn't be with each other?
"I don't care what Lauren or anyone else says about us Jillian," I said trying to reassure her. I wasn't going to lose the only thing I loved because of some gossiping witch.
"I could give a damn what that bitch says about me!" she shouted.
"It's normal to be angry with someone-"
"I'm not normal Edward!" Jillian shouted as she rose to her feet. I stood up and moved closer to her. I only had to lean an inch forward and our bodies would be touching.
"I don't care Jillian. I want to be with you. I know you want to be with me."
My eyes held hers for what felt like an eternity. Jillian's emotions were clearly on display. Want and guilt both present equally along with fear.
"I'm no good Edward. There's so much you don't know and are better off not ever knowing. Trust me, I'm not worth it. Don't waste you time."
I couldn't move. I heard a noise and knew Ginger was rushing towards us. Her thoughts trained on Jillian's well-being. Ginger was worried about what Jillian had done. Ginger grabbed her arm and both started running to the car. I remained frozen where I had stood, not realizing they were driving away till I heard the engine roar. I spun around to see Jillian's face in the passenger side window, tears started to stream down her face. She mouthed an I'm sorry before the Navigator turned and she was no longer in sight. That's when I realized it was raining. I wished I could cry and let my tears of heartbreak ingle with the storm that raged. In my heart and in the skies.
