The trip took longer than he had expected. No worries, though. He'd made sure to eat a big breakfast that morning, so he wouldn't be starving for quite some time. The autopilot was definitely working. There were flashy lights and numbers and stuff. This was an older model, apparently, so the readouts were still in English, which was a language he knew quite well.
There was a spare suit in the back, and he decided he had better put it on. Persuasive wordsmithing would only get him so far in a faraway galaxy, although he did probably have the potential to be their third notable black guy if he played his cards right.
Speaking of unfortunate racial implications, he wondered how Joe was handling things back home. He had never gotten around to telling him about the robot doubles. It could mostly take care of itself, though, which was more than he could say for poor old Joe.
***
"There. Perfect! Ha ha!" Joe was no stranger to self-congratulation; somehow, getting that mullet to sit just right on his intriguingly-shaped head every morning never seemed to get old.
"What do you think, Barry? Hot, right?"
"Uh... it is nice..." muttered the bored robot, tired of being asked the same question every morning. "Uh... you know, Joe... uh... just because you're the VP doesn't... uh... doesn't mean we have to stay in the same hotel room. We've... uh... we've still got about two hundred million left over from the campaign." Robama's speech circuits were getting a little rusty, and the oil can was running low. He hoped his owner would get back soon.
"Think of the carbon footprint, Bar! The carbon!"
"Don't... uh... don't worry about it, Joe. I... uh... if the ice caps melt, I can... uh... recede the... oceans... and whatnot."
"No, I don't mind. The bed's big enough for the both of us."
"Yeah... I've, uh... I've been meaning to talk to you about that... I was kind of... uh... hoping to share the bed with... uh... with Michelle."
"Oh? A little of the ol' uh-uh, huh Bar?" Joe eagerly mimed a pair of pathetic little pelvic thrusts on the uhs.
Robama began to regret that Joe had paid all his taxes.
TO BE CONTINUED?!?
