A/N: Thanks to Jen for beta. Once again, english is not my mothertongue so my english isn't perfect. I sure try my best. I hope you like the chapter and don't be afraid to give me an honest feedback. Thanks to the people who read the first chapter and left a review.
Chapter 2:
Making Plans
While Ned was still at the pie-hole, Chuck was sitting on the roof, surrounded by a couple of bees. She noticed in the past already that she felt safe around them and somehow they gave her a feeling of being home. She watched the bees fly around her and she sighed a little, pulling her knees up to her chest. She put her chin on her them and wrapped her legs securly around them, rocking a little back and forth while taking in her surroundings.
Chuck knew it was clear to everyone that she changed a little the past months and that she wasn't who she used to be anymore. Ever since her father died again, Chuck felt like there was a hole in her life. She felt like she was missing out on something. The second death of her father wasn't easy on her and it made her realize that she longed for a real family, because she never had one before.
She was sure that under normal circumstances she and Ned would be a real family by now. She'd be married and may have a baby. But sadly it wouldn't be that easy for the two of them, because a certain, call it curse, prevented them from physical contact. She loved Ned so much and she was happy he woke her and let her live for a second time, but it was hard. She just wanted to be normal, have a normal family and a baby, but all that may not come true.
Chuck never had a real family. As a child she didn't know her mom was still alive, so she was alone with her dad. When he died she lived with her two aunts, who weren't related to her by blood. It wasn't too long ago when Chuck found out that Lily actually was her mother, not aunt. She was happy to know her mom still lived, on the other side she was incredibly sad, because there was no way she could talk or see her ever again.
All that made her long for her own real family and she knew Ned probably felt like her. His mom died when he was young and his father shut him out of his life. Now a days, his father tried to be back in his life, but Ned told Chuck many times that he was still too hurt to let that happen. That is why he couldn't have a close bond to his half brothers Maurice and Ralston. He didn't want them in his life, because he shut them out a long time ago, along with their father. It was a constant reminder of his past, which he tried to forget.
All this was the reason why Chuck couldn't show Olive that she was happy for her. Olive now was a constant reminder of what Chuck may never have with Ned and that hurt deeply somewhere in her heart. As much as she liked Olive as a friend and no matter how happy she was for her, the hurt wasn't something Chuck was good at coping with. It was hard and she felt horrible for what she was feeling, but she knew she couldn't help it.
A silent tear ran down her face and she moved one of her hands to her cheek to wipe it away. She took a deep breath and tried to distract herself, but it was useless. More tears slowly fell down her cheeks and she let them run, until her eyes were red and puffy from crying.
It wasn't until a couple of hours later that Ned got worried about Chuck and decided to go out and look for her. She didn't pick up the phone at home nor did she come back to the pie-hole. After his fifth attempt to call her, he gave up and started a mix of stress and nervous baking. Nothing seemed to help him so he took off his apron and threw it on the table.
"Olive, I'll go look for Chuck. There are another 3 pies in the oven. Can you do me a favor and watch them for me? I'll come back as soon as I've found her." Ned said as he walked to the front, receiving a sad look from Olive.
"Sure go ahead, I'll be here with Alfredo." Olive hated to see Ned like this, so she reached out and put her hand on his shoulder for a second. He smiled lightly and grabbed his gloves and coat, walking straight up to look for Chuck on the roof.
"CHUCK?" Ned called out as he climbed the last stairs to the roof, not getting an answer. He pushed the door open and gasped at the sight. Chuck was sitting near the edge of the roof, her legs crossed in indian style. Her hands were laying in her lap, while she looked at him with red eyes. She didn't even try to hide her face from him, she knew it was too obvious.
"Honey..," he sighed and rushed over to her, stopping himself quickly. He slowly sat down next to her and looked into her eyes.
"What's the matter?" He asked and reached for her hand, taking it in his. Chuck blinked her eyes and moved her gaze to the ground.
"Nothing," she murmured and pulled her hand away from him. She didn't notice the change in Ned's face, who was slightly hurt by the action.
"Something is," he replied. "You've been acting strange for quite a while now and you don't wanna talk about it. Now you're sitting up here crying so I think something must be very wrong."
Chuck slowly raised her head again to look at him, a new set of tears forming in her eyes. She quickly brushed a hand over them to prevent the tears from falling. Ned reached out for her hand again and took it, pressing the back of it against his lips. Oh how he wished he could do this without her wearing gloves. Chuck smiled a little at the gesture and wrapped her tiny fingers around his thumb, squeezing it tightly.
"I love you so much Ned," she whispered. "So much, but lately my mind has been full of thoughts." She wiped away more of her tears and took a deep breath, trying to focus on what she wanted to say. Ned eyed her unsure and wrapped both of his hands around hers, holding it securely.
"I'm happy for Olive, I really am, but she showed me what I may never have. She's in a happy realtionship. She's engaged and is gonna get married soon. They may start a family." Her voiced trailed off and she tried to not go completly silent. "A baby...It's just...not fair.."
Her own words caused her eyes to fill with tears again and she quickly blinked them away. She looked up and tried to search for Ned's eyes, trying to catch a reaction from him. Ned felt a tug at his heart. He wanted to hug her tightly and kiss her forehead, telling her it's gonna be alright, but he knew he couldn't. So instead he sorted his toughts and clutched her hand tighter, pressing his lips against it for a second.
"I'm sorry Chuck," he whispered, moving his hand to her cheeks to trace the outlines of her face. She gently leaned into his touch and sighed. Oh how she wished she could touch him for real.
"It's not your fault," she rasped out quietly and placed a kiss on his thumb.
"It is. I should have known you may want this. I mean even I want it, but I decided to have a life with you. I thought we could be happy, even without all the normal circumstances." Ned slowly moved her hand to his face, putting his cheek into her palm. Chuck slowly brushed her fingers against his cheek and moved her thumbs on his lips, letting him kiss it.
"I'm happy with you, Ned. It's just....I feel like I'm missing out on something. When my dad was back, I thought we could be like a family, but that didn't turn out well. I don't blame you for it, not at all, but I just feel lonely sometimes. You can't just touch or hug me and as much as I love you, I do need it sometimes." Chuck tilted her head to the side to catch a glimpse of his face, but he fixed his gaze on the ground and took her hand in his again.
"Well if you want to leave, you should know you're free to do that." His voice was barely above a whisper, as Ned spoke the words. He felt like someone punched him in his stomach.
"No Ned," Chuck replied immediately a little shocked. "I don't want anyone else. I want you. Don't ever think I'd walk out on you.....I love you." Ned sighed in relief and closed his eyes for a second, moving her hand to his face again.
"Well," he started and opened his eyes to find her looking at him. "If you really want a baby, I guess that's something to talk about. I mean there are ways for you to get pregnant without my input....," he said but Chuck cut him off with her finger.
"No. I thought about this a lot Ned, but it's either you or nobody. If I ever give birth I want to hold a baby in my arms, that's a part of me and you....by flesh and blood....not by me and some kind of number in a big book, which desperatly needed some money." Ned chuckled a little at her comment, but his face turned quickly back to concern.
"But it won't be happening this way.....," he whispered. Chuck slightly bit her lower lip and moved her head a little. Ned didn't know how much thought she put into it. It was a lot more than she herself she thought she'd do. She came up with every possible idea and ended up with one conclusion.
"Actually, I think there is a way," she spoke, which cause Ned's head to perk up. "I've been thinking about it for a while now. See, your touch is what would kill me. I know that, but I don't think your little swimmers would. It's a body liquid, so it's not like touch. I mean if you spit on me I won't die either." Ned made a face at the last comment and shook his head a little.
"I won't spit on you to try," he mumbled and Chuck giggled.
"Well, no you don't have to. It's gross. I just think we should give this whole baby thing a shot. The least that could happen is that my eggs get killed, but that would hardly effect me. Well it would, but not physically." She reached out to touch his chin, moving his head up so she could look into his eyes.
"Okay....but let's say it really wouldn't kill you, or anything else. How'd we get those," he pointed at his lower body. "In there," he moved his hand over to her belly to slightly poke it, causing Chuck to giggle.
"I did some reading on fertilization. It doesn't require us to have sex, we just need a good reason why we can't. There are two ways to do it. One where they take your little swimmers and pretty much inject them into my uterus or we do an in vitro fertilization." Chuck smiled and moved a little closer to Ned, who was looking at her with an open mouth.
"You sure did your homework," he grinned and looked down at her hands for a second. The tought of having a baby scared him, but he knew he wasn't alone, so he raised his head to search for her eyes.
"I guess we'll give this a shot than." He smiled and squeezed her hands, causing Chuck to blink her eyes,
"Are you sure? I am...for real...I mean sure sure...This is not like deciding what we'll have for dinner or what kind of bedsheets we go..," she rambled, but quickly was stopped by Ned who had pulled out a piece of plastic wrap and put it on her face, kissing her softly. Chuck kissed him back with all her might, trying to make the best out of it.
"Hmm...I'm sure....," Ned whispered as he pulled away a little. "I love you Chuck," he smiled and pressed his lips against hers again, feeling the heat coming from her mouth, even through the plastic.
"I love you too Ned....so much...," she mumbled and tried to deepen the kiss as far as she could, her hands cupping his cheeks.
"Hm...we should....go back to the pie hole...Olive is alone with Alfredo. I told her I'd come back once I found you." Chuck pulled away and nodded, getting on her feet. Ned did the same and put away the plastic wrap into his pocket.
"Is she mad at me for leaving just like that?" Chuck asked and extended her hand to Ned. He smiled and took her hand carefully in his, shacking his head.
"Not really, she was worried about you, but I think you should still apologize to her." He answered as they both walk downstairs into the pie-hole, where Olive was sitting in a booth next to Alfredo, looking at a few magazines.
"Hey, hey," Chuck grinned as she sat down across from them. Olive shot her a glance and eyed her for a second.
"Hey, feeling better?" She asked unsure and Chuck let out a small giggle.
"Yes, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to storm off like that, I'm really happy for you and Alfredo." Olive grinned brightly at her words and wrapped one arm around Alfredo, pressing her lips against his cheek.
"It is great...isn't it?" She giggled and Alfredo smiled at her reaction.
"Indeed it is...and just so you know, if you need any help. Let me know..." Chuck smiled and moved a little closer to the edge of the booth. Before she knew it Olive shoved Alfredo out of the way, who stumbled a little as Olive rushed by him. She grabbed Chuck's hand and dragged her into the back, leaving a confused Alfredo behind. Ned shook his head in amuesment and grabbed the coffee pot on the counter.
"Women! Want some coffee?" He asked and poured some of it into a mug. Alfredo nodded his head and still looked after Olive and Chuck.
End of this chapter! Feedback is much love!
